All Comments on 'Party of Five Ch. 21'

Thank you for trying to finish this story arc. It's never sat well with me the way it was left hanging.

When I saw Party of Five Ch.21, I couldn't believe it. Then I read your story. I understand that you're no VertigoJ, and you'll have a different style, and I can live with that.

However, this chapter is almost a complete departure from the characterisation laid down in ch.1-20. The opening paragraphs portrayed a completely different Alice to that of ch.20, and Dawn went from a slighly confused (regarding her view of sex and love)'experienced' woman with a talent for talking dirty and all things sex to some sappy angsty woman who is madly in love with Josh and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. I was left wondering 'where the hell did that come from?'. I gave up reading at that point, you just massacred continuity.

The dialogue is completely different - where before it was smooth and flowing, now it feels halting and discordant with the flow of the story.

The way the story is narrated is completely different too - I feel that this has lost a lot of depth, and the language feels clunky.

While I am no writer myself, I can't help but notice that this is your first story published here, and I would ask that you advance your writing style, and attempt to write in one similar to that of VertigoJ. His stories are among the most highly rated of their genre, and with good reason. A lot of people wish for PoF to be completed, including me, and a high bar has been set in terms of quality of writing of any continuations. I would hate to be further dissappointed.

I hope this feedback compells you to advance your quality of writing and helps deliver a deserved continuation of PoF.

Should've been a little longer to deal with Josh & Jacquie. Not as good as I would've hoped but after 4 years of waiting for the story to continue, I'm glad we got something & I applaud your efforts to continue Vertigo J's story. He's been MIA since 2005 along with some other notable authors such as Pookie. See ya next story...good luck. -Jim

I for one am glad that somebody has continued this story as it is one of the best on the the web so I applaud you. I hope you will write some more chapters as there is so much more you can write, I would like to see what will happen when all three sisters know and whether josh will have to choose between his sisters. also what about joshs mom, will she find out. i look forward to reading the rest of the story and i hope you will write another 3 or 4 chapters.

Just finished reading all 21 chapters. Very enjoyable but hope you keep writing PoF. A great story but you can't stop here. Looking forward to reading more.

man thank you for finishing this story i am glad you are and hope you are coming out with more

while i do apreciate your efforts to continue this incredible saga, i feel that you have not grasped the characters at all. the style of writing is all wrong and nothing flows properly in your story. VertigoJ has set an incredibly high standard and level of writing that this series deserves, and in my opinion, the continuation of PoF should be done by VertigoJ. on one of his fan-pages he did say he was going to continue with writing so i must hope that he makes true on that comment. please dont take this comment the wrong way, you are a good writer and i wish you luck in anything else you want to write but, because your style is so different to the original author, i believe you should not continue with this series. i feel it does not do the series justice, that is my personal view.

sid

This has been a fantastic series, arguably one of the best on Literotica, and definitely one of my favorites. I have waited for so long for this series to continue, and when I saw chpt. 21 I was shocked. And while you did an excellent job with the story, I think it deserves to be finished by the one who started it, and the one who made the series so spectacular in the first place. You have different writing styles, and its noticeable to those who have followed the story from the beginning. I am not belittling your story by any means, so I hope you don't take it as such. Thank you for the story, and I hope you keep writing, because you definitely have a fan in me.

Like many readers who enjoy VertigoJ's works, I feel that your attempt at finishing this series is seriously lacking, both in quality, depth, and content. I agree that the series needs to be finished, but this attempt is an insult to the fans. Please discontinue your attempts, or the very reason why many love this series will fall apart

Although I appreciate an effort in finishing a series that sorely requires some form of continuation, I can't help but feel that this is too far from Vertigo's work. There was very little build up, and one of the most unusual traits of his writing was that everything moved at a very slow pace, and the emphasis by far was placed on character development, and on captivating the reader with an interesting storyline, rather than just caring about the sex. The characters, specifically Alice, also had very different personalities, and Vertigo tweaked all of their personalities to perfection, to the point where they could not be improved upon.

Even if another writer could continue PO5 with a quality as high as the first 20 chapters, it wouldn't be the same. Vertigo had a very, very unique writing style, and no other stories on this site seem to be even remotely similar to his style. And honestly, no matter how good a continuation could be, it wouldn't be the same unless it matched his exact style- that is to say, unless Vertigo continued the series himself. From a 4-year hiatus, however, that seems unlikely, and it is very saddening to see a series like this go unfinished, but it had a great run, and I'm not the only one who thoroughly enjoyed the first 20 chapters

Still, he did promise to leave an author's note saying when his last chapter was, I can't help but wonder if something happened to him in real life that suddenly forced him to stop writing- injury, or maybe even someone confronting him about his incestuous writing. Anyway, it's a shame he hasn't finished the series =(

Was so excited when I saw a chapter 21 for this but it should've only been written by Vertigoj, no-one can write like him

I was reading chapters 1-20 last night and found myself disappointed at the fact that he stopped at such a point. And I what also caught me off guard is that VertigoJ hadn't written in a long while.

You are awesome for continuing this. I loved it. And for everyone who says you don't capture the characters like VertigoJ did. Well. No one can. Not even VertigoJ, I bet, anymore. Since he last wrote almost 5 years ago, he probably wouldn't be able to get into that same groove.

Yes. He knows where the story was going to go, but he's probably written so much that he'd end up blending characters together from other novels. So I thank you ink_fox. You may not have captured the characters perfectly but the style of writing was very similar, and that I also enjoyed.

This gave me the closure I needed from the story, but if you could go on, then please continue!

You need to finish it. Keep on going. I know there's more to it. Keep on going to the actual end. Stop stalling on this. lol. I want to know more about the relationship and you can't just stop there. Come on!

please finish this story there should be at least 15-20 more chapters lol

It was.. decent at best. I could tell while reading it was coming from somebody other than the original writer. Good try though.

I like the story and would enjoy seeing more, the details are good and it's nice of you to finish in the same style of writing. Please continue...

WE NEED MORE PLEASE At least five more chapters.

And five star rating is to small you need a 10 star rating for this story as i loved wvwry thing about it thank you

A very good job on continuing the story. While I agree with an earlier comment that you could tell it wasn't the same author, I do however think that those moments are quite sparse and still allowed the story to flow well. Keep them coming please, would love to see this story through to the end!

how could you leave it there please continue this story as it is one of the best ones I have read I would love to continue reading about what happens when all the sisters know about each other and what happens between Josh and Dawn so please continue

So happy there's no chapter 22. VertigoJ gave us 20 great chapters, it's like I was drinking the finest beer and now someone came along, pissed in it and called it chapter 21. Sex with Alice and Josh was a big deal, she's not the type to come into his room at night and start doing it with him. Alice and Dawn basically switched personas in this "story" and it's horrid, really horrid. I'm just going to pretend the series ended at chapter 20.

Though it was a good attempt at finishing one of the best stores I've read, I have to honestly have to say it was nothing like it should have been not to be mean or anything this was just wrong on so many levals I truely feel cheeted. Nice try though thanks for atleast attempting to recreate the magic from the original writter

This author's heart & apparently libido is in the right place to continue the series. His humor & emotional maturity have quite a ways to go. Vertigo knew when to make Josh the butt of jokes or the instigator. He knew just when to make Dawn a strumpet or unpeel her psyche & show her yearning for real love .

Ink Fox has a ways to go & grow before undertaking this classic's extension. Go with viewing of Monty Python & Seinfeld reruns & then a few actual Liasons , the more dangerous , the better. Three more years is the mínimum . Good luck ( hopefully Vértigo J returns by then) !

I really hope this series is continued because this is one of my fav's. I trully enjoyed reading all 21 chapters and looking foward to reading another 21 more if the author choses to write again. Hope he does though cuz I really cant wait.

I came upon this story late and have really enjoyed it. I would really like it if you would continue.

Man, I must say this is like the best story every... please continue cause if you don't I'll die... your stories the best I didn't comment on any of the other chapters cause I was waiting for the end, happy writing hope you reveal the next chapter soon. Seriously I'll have a hearth attack if you don't finishing writing ch 22 ohh and I love the josh and Alice part most awesome and the part where she nearly became pregnant was exhilarating you have an art for writing good luck;) please continue ;(

LOVED IT

I usually wait until I finish a story before I do comment on it. I gave you 5 stars on all the chapters. I would very much see a continuation of this well written story. People have to realize perfection is great to have but not all people can do it. If they think they can do better, why are they not writing themselves. Keep going with writing as you are doing good and I hope you try to finish this. Thank You!!

I just hope you come back and finish this great story.

Granted, this was posted in 2009, buuut....

Dawn is a Hellcat, partying, fucking and sucking her way through every previous chapter. Even after Josh shows her his way, by making love to her, she still spends every chance she gets, in every following episode, pissing in his Cheerios. Dawn has no continuity in this from the previous ch's 1-20. Yes, she had told him, after the two week no sex battle she and Josh had, that his was the only cock she wanted, I still don't see her changing her stripes to become a soft hearted "girl". She is going to keep on fighting and scratching to get what she wants from Josh, what ever that might be.

This series is the best I've read it was very sexy and entertaining and I can't wait for it to continue, Thank you.

I can’t say I’m a fan of the incest portion of the story but you did an incredible job of how you brought Josh together with each of his sisters was extremely well done and erotic.

Very nice job.