Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 02

"Sorry," Kelly replied. "It's just usually when I try to explain this to people who know us..." She paused. "Look, Erika, if you want to get with John, it's okay with me. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Just remember he'll come back to me when it's all over."

Erika stared at herself in the mirror behind the bar, unable to believe what she was hearing. Oh my God, she thought. I gotta get out of here fast! "Uh, no, Kelly, that's alright. I'm really not interested in John. No offense. I'm sure he'll find someone. Good luck to you both. Bye now." She pressed the phone's hangup button and dropped it on the bar.

John turned to her and frowned, taking in her words. "Uh, listen, Erika, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I..."

Erika glared at him, making a shushing gesture. Her face was red as she hopped to her feet, her heart hammering in her chest. "Shut up," she snapped. "Just shut up. Like I said, good luck. Bye." Her shoes clicking on the floor, she hurried out of the club.

***

October 2003. London, England.

"I'm confused here," Alicia frowned at Erika. "You turned down John Travolta?"

"I'm confused too," Evan said. "Jamie's not married. What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm just trying to tell you how I was feeling back then," Erika said. "And what I learned." She sighed and waved at Doug, thinking some drinks would probably help right now. "Before I met John that night, I had had a lot of guys I didn't know come up to me in clubs and try to pick me up. I hated it. I wasn't going to clubs to meet guys. I was just trying to get over my depression, have some fun dancing and hanging out. But then..."

"You bumped into John," Alicia said. "And he made you realize some of those guys were just as down as you were. That helped you. Am I right?"

"Yes," Erika nodded. "Exactly. Can we get two Mountain Dews and a Freckled Lemonade?" Doug waved in reply and started to fix the drinks.

"What are you saying here?" Evan asked. "Are you trying to tell me people have sex too quickly because they're depressed? Because I'm not depressed right now, Erika. Neither is Jamie. We're just going to have fun, and..."

"Evan!" Erika cut her off, glaring at the young blonde. "I'm telling you how I got into swinging. What happened with John was part of that. It got me thinking about other people's feelings, like Alicia said. I was shocked and angry at first, then I realized I was suddenly out of my funk. I wasn't thinking about my own problems anymore. Instead I was thinking about John, and Kelly, and the other people I'd met who were in clubs looking for sex. I wondered what was motivating them to do such a thing. Then I went back to the books I'd read about swinging and what motivates people to get into it and suddenly I was looking at them in a whole new way."

Alicia and Evan leaned close to her, rapt with attention.

"I consulted with Isaac Hayes about things," Erika went on. "I figured he'd be able to put them in perspective. I know him off and on as a family friend, like I know John. I've always seen him as a wise sage. He's also done a lot of work on this great comedy show that talks a lot about sex, so I thought..."

"South Park," Evan grinned. "I've seen that show. I love it."

"Me too," Alicia said. "It's a little crude but..." She looked up at Doug, who was smiling strangely as he set down their drinks. "Thank you." The bartender nodded and moved off.

"I'm a fan of it too," Erika said. "It really makes you laugh. So, I told Isaac about my situation and asked him to give me some advice. First he swore me to secrecy. Then he told me that he'd been into the lifestyle for decades and helped settle a lot of questions I had about it. We sorted out truth from fiction. I found out not everyone who's into it is into it because of depression- most people are very happy with themselves. I decided I wanted to be that way too.

"I also was recalling how great having sex with Mark had made me feel, and thinking about how I hadn't had anyone since breaking up with him. I told this to Isaac, and he said I should just relax, live my fantasies. I was young and unmarried, and had things to sort out, so there was really nothing wrong with having a little fun. I was shocked he was saying all this, but then he told me how most people like to keep their involvement in the lifestyle secret, especially when they're famous. That made sense to me. I had already been dodging a lot of questions from the press about boyfriends and so on."

"We get it," Alicia said. "You've talked to me about building a public cover before. I didn't see the need, as I've always been pretty monogamous."

"Until now," Evan smirked.

"I still am when it comes to guys," Alicia said, frowning at the young blonde. "When I find the right man..." She waved her hand. "I may not marry him, but I will be loyal to him. That's my decision."

Erika shook her head at them. You two really need to chill, she thought. "I was like that too for a while," she told Alicia. "When I was with Mark, I stayed with just him even though I was also looking at and occasionally fantasizing about other guys. No harm in that, right? Then he dumped me for another girl, and I went into my cycle of depression. I couldn't get out of it. I wasn't thinking of fantasies that much for the longest time. Then after I bumped into John, my mood changed. I wanted to get with guys again.

"But I wasn't sure about what sort of guy I wanted. Mark had been so great, and he was gone. Every other guy I thought of had something wrong with him or I didn't know him. It was driving me nuts. Isaac told me I should just say what the heck and not think much about what kind of guy I wanted. That I should start having sex again with people I wanted who wanted me. Just try to approach sex in the moment, and let the details take care of themselves. If you think too much about a problem, he told me, you'll never solve it. Sooner or later, you need to jump in the pool."

Evan nodded. "That's what I'm doing with Jamie."

Erika glared at her. "Let me finish, okay? Isaac's advice seemed good, but I couldn't get myself in the right mindset to take it. Then he gave me this analogy. He said I was wandering in a maze of emotion, and I couldn't find my way out. 'There is a reward somewhere in the maze, Erika. A minotaur lurks also, and guards it. The minotaur is your fear, happiness is the reward. You will have to confront one to get to the other.'"

"Basically he told you you were afraid of sex," Alicia said.

"Yeah," Erika sighed. "I always was back then. When I got with Mark the first time, I was able to talk myself into doing it, but I still had my fears. They held me back a lot with him, it was part of why we didn't work out. I thought about this and what Isaac had said, and I realized he was right. I needed to confront my fear. I worked out a plan, with Isaac's help. I decided to track down and seduce someone who I'd wanted for a long time, who was into the lifestyle, and who represented a major barrier to me. If I could fuck him, and enjoy it..." She waved her hand.

"Who'd you pick?" Alicia asked.

"Benicio del Toro."

Evan grinned. "The Latin Brad Pitt."

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Please. Don't tell me you bought into that Don Juan shit, Erika. Don Juan always leaves women in the morning. You couldn't have been expecting..."

"I didn't think about that!" Erika declared, looking back and forth at them both. "I thought it would be like Casanova, not Don Juan. I would seduce him, we would both have fun, and then he would respect me after the first time and become my next great lover."

"Like me and Jamie," Evan said.

"Yes," Erika said. She glanced at Doug, who was smiling as he listened while serving customers. She grinned back, then returned her attention to the story. "I had known Benicio for almost a year, and admired him for a long time. We worked together on Traffic, got to be friends. I had a crush on him that was unrequited. You guys understand, right?"

"Benicio del Toro is good looking," Alicia said, "and a great actor. He made Excess Baggage almost tolerable for me. I also enjoyed watching him in Licence to Kill and Usual Suspects."

Erika nodded. "Me too. I figured Benicio would be happy, and maybe that would rub off on me. He was doing great back then- he'd won massive praise for Traffic and had three other films out as well. Everyone was looking and smiling at him. Isaac agreed he'd be a good man for me to approach. Handsome, smart, and careful too. I was looking for an initiator into the lifestyle, and Benicio seemed like the perfect candidate."

"So what'd you do?" Evan said, looking intrigued now. "Did you get him?"

"Yes," Erika smiled fondly. "It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I called Benicio up, told him I wanted to meet and talk. We had dinner at the Voltaire. I told him everything Isaac had told me and about how I'd been feeling. Then I told him straight out what I wanted. He was surprised, but then he saw I was sincere. He was understanding and told me he'd often thought of me fondly, as a friend, all through making Traffic. He could understand my crush, and he was between lovers at the time, like me."

"We get it," said Alicia. She too was smiling. "So..."

Erika sighed, thinking back.

***

Febuary 2001. Los Angeles, CA.

"Are you looking forward to this?"

Erika grinned at Benicio del Toro, saying nothing. The man's darkly handsome features and deep voice were mesmerizing her, as they had all night. Were words necessary? she wondered. No, probably not. Instead she merely looked up into Benicio's dark pools, at the heavy circles around them. Usually such features on a man bothered her, but on Benicio they didn't. He'd had them all his life, and wore them well. His personality also greatly aided the attraction. The man was magnetic, on screen and off. Erika had wanted him for so long, and now she would have him, finally.

"It might not really help you," Isaac's voice echoed in her mind. "Be careful. Benicio is a complicated man."

"Like you?"

"No, even more so. He couldn't hold on to Claire Forlani, or Alicia Silverstone, or a number of other great women. He's a rover, always has been. Don't expect more from this than you're going to get."

"I won't, Isaac," Erika had promised. The freedom's part of what I like about this, she thought. Benicio's unattached, I am too. This will get me into the lifestyle, whether it stays permanent or not. That's what I want here. I set it up, prepared just like I did for losing my virginity. I rented a suite here at the Regent Beverly Wilshire, took Benicio out, and talked him into this. It worked out great. This night is reminding me of my first time with Mark too. It's raining heavily outside, just as it was then, only the storms seem harder now. I can hear the thunder and lightning, even inside this elevator. I hope the earth doesn't move, that would be bad. No, she decided. I won't think about that. I want this night to be great.

"I will treat you right," Benicio said, reaching out and stroking her hair. "You will like what I do to you."

I hope so, Erika thought. I hope you'll like me too. I always liked everything Mark did to me, and vice versa, or so I thought. Why'd he dump me then? I still don't understand. Oh well, that was months ago. I'm moving on. That's what this is about- moving on and getting back to life.

The elevator stopped and the doors dinged open. "Floor twelve," the operator said. "Enjoy your stay."

"Gracias, amigo," Benicio said. He handed the operator a tip, then stepped into the hall. Erika smiled at the operator, who'd been eyeing her all through the ride, before following. He looked her up and down again, admiring her curves under her revealing red dress, as the elevator doors shut. Benicio walked over to a nearby room and fumbled in the pocket of his black suit for a key.

"I have it," Erika told him, taking the card out of her purse. "My room, remember?"

"Oh, right," Benicio chuckled. He bounced his fingers off his head. "Listen, Erika, I am aware you may still not be sure what you want from this. The lifestyle is different for every person. I can help you get into it, but only so much."

You've been telling me that all night, Erika thought. Isaac said the same thing. Why? This is just sex. It's no big deal. No, wait, it is a big deal, Erika. You know how sex makes you feel, what it can create. You've thought about it so much, you love it more than anything. You want it to burn you out of the funk you've been in, get you to enjoy life once more. Surely it can. You and Mark had sex one last time before you broke up, and you treasure that memory as much as any other. All your times in the sack have been great. You know sex can be bad, but you don't want it to be that way. And this won't, she told herself. It can't.

"You just need to satisfy me," Erika told Benicio. "No complications."

He nodded. "No complications." They had agreed earlier tonight that whatever happened, they would stay good friends. Benicio had brought up that not every pair of lovers found themselves compatible, and though Erika had hated doing so, she'd had to agree. Well, this isn't about finding Mr. Right, she reminded herself. I have my whole life to do that. All I want right now is freedom from my maze. Benicio will give it to me.

That hope in mind, she flicked her key through the lock and shoved open the door. Smiling and trying to control her trembling nerves, she walked into the suite's sitting room, Benicio following behind. He nodded at the bottles of sparkling water and bowl of fruit laid out on a table they passed, but touched neither. Good, Erika thought. We've already had enough food and drink tonight. She stepped out of her shoes as they entered the bedroom, dropping her purse beside them on the floor. "Ben..."

Before she could get out his complete name, Benicio grabbed her from behind, spun her around, and pulled her face up to his. Erika gasped as their lips met. His breath was warm, and flowing into her like heat from a furnace. He kissed her quickly, then pulled back. "I am sorry. I had to do that."

"It's okay," Erika sighed, attempting to calm her heart. She unsnapped the back of her dress and walked over to the bed, pulled its covers down. "You can do whatever you want to me." With that, she turned and fell back, opening her arms.

Benicio returned her smile and shrugged off his jacket. He then unfastened his belt and bent over to unlace his shoes. He hummed a Spanish tune as he disrobed, feeling in his voice.

Come on, Erika thought. I'm so impatient right now. Get undressed!

She watched as her new lover dropped his pants, hoping his manhood wouldn't be too much for her. Benicio took off his socks and shoes, smiling at her all the while. He then began unbuttoning his shirt, still humming, his eyes looking her up and down.

Benicio's a method actor, Erika recalled. He has a huge repertoire of tricks and techniques for the stage, maybe for this too. He's probably contemplating which ones to use on me. Maybe I should tell him to follow his heart, not the script. This isn't a lovescene. She smiled as he pushed his shirt off his torso, revealing his well-sculpted chest.

Dressed now only in his boxers, Benicio walked forward and stood facing Erika. She shook her head, feeling his shadow looming over her. She did not shrink away, though. This moment called for bravery. I am here freely and of my own will, Erika thought. So is he. We are going to enjoy what we are about to do. Nothing will stop that. So calm down. Control yourself. He has more experience with this, let him guide you. She beckoned to him with one of her hands.

Benicio held up a finger, still smiling. He hooked his thumbs in his boxer shorts and pushed them off. Smaller than I thought, Erika regarded his organ. Oh well, it's still something to be proud of, and I'm sure he'll know how to use it. It's thicker than Mark's, but not as long. Not yet anyway, he's not that hard right now. I need to change that. I will soon.

Her lover stepped out of his shorts and dropped himself onto the bed. He moved in, cuddled up to her, and looked her over again. "Tu eres muy bonita, Erika. Do you have any special requests?"

"Just make me feel good," she said, reaching out and pulling him closer to her body. She wrapped her arms around him, ran her fingers through his dark curly hair and down along his back. She gasped, feeling the heat of his proximity. Benicio's chest was rough and hard, the hair there thin and spread out. Erika tangled her right hand's fingers in it as they embraced, tugging on the hair and his nipples. She pressed her lips to his chin, his cheek, and finally his mouth, trying to send promises into his mind with her eyes.

Benicio quickly responded, his arms encircling her and caressing her shoulders and back. Erika let out a breath, smiling as he pulled down the zipper of her dress. She dropped her arms so he could push the sleeves off her shoulders. Her white skin clashed against his, presenting an intriguing contrast with his dark tan.

They kissed again several times as he moved the dress down, tongues licking each other's throats. Erika felt colder as her body was bared, then warmer at the feel of his presence and attention. Benicio continued to look her over as he undressed her, smiling at the sight of her hard pink nipples and the triangle of blonde hair between her legs. Just as on most nights when she was planning to have sex, Erika had not bothered with underwear.

She smiled at him as he moved away a little after pulling the dress all the way off her, looking him over again. His body's like a dream, Erika thought. So tanned and well-proportioned. I can see him getting aroused, a second ago I felt it. He's flushed with passion now. I can tell even with that wonderful dark skin. She grinned and let out another breath.

Benicio did the same, mumbling something she couldn't decipher in his native language. Then he moved back towards her, placing his left hand on her shoulder and his right on the valley between her breasts. He moved the latter back and forth, stroking her nipples to attention before leaning in to kiss each one.

"Ah!" Erika moaned, lying down and letting him move atop her body. He's bolder than Mark was, she thought. Good. I like that. She laughed as Benicio looked up and stuck his tongue out at her, then bent back down and licked at her nipples. "Yes!"

She pressed her palms into his back and squeezed his shoulders, pulling his body into hers. She felt her nipples growing tight and hard, jabbing into him. She could also feel his manhood against her hip, growing larger and thicker with their closeness. She rubbed her thigh against it, feeling herself getting warmer and wetter. An ache was echoing between her legs, its rhythm matching her heartbeat. He seems ready, she evaluated. I think I'm ready. Now?

"Espera," Benicio said, guessing her thoughts. Wait, Erika mused. That means wait. Okay, I'll wait. Just don't make it too long, okay? Por favor, Benicio, please.

She gasped again as he sucked hard on her nipples, then moved down. He planted kisses along her stomach and breastbone, traveling a path that made Erika shake. Oh my God, she thought. He's going to lick me down there, without prompting. I had to talk Mark into that, and it took him several tries to get it right. Is Benicio any good? He's had experience with a lot of women, so he might be, but...

Never mind, she thought. Just let him do it. You'll find out. She dropped her hands from his body and smiled down at him, then moaned as he licked across her navel, then her waist. Hurry, Erika thought, listening to him mumble and breathe. I want you! Taste me! Come on!

Benicio's tongue stabbed out, spearing into her core. Erika let out a scream, her legs kicking wildly. Benicio reached out and grabbed hold of them, pulling them apart and keeping them still. He licked her pussy up and down, concentrating on the top and the outer edges, then the inner folds. Erika's clit thrust into his tongue and she gasped, feeling juice leak out of her into his lips. "Yes! Don't stop! Please!" He laughed, mumbled another Spanish phrase, then thrust his tongue deep into her snatch. His right hand moved in as well, two fingers entering Erika's cunt. She gasped, contracting her muscles around them, her body tingling hard.