All Comments on 'Patricia's Awakening Ch. 01'

by stuball83

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
You need an editor

Honestly, get an editor to help you with the typos and other syntax issues. Your dialog needs to sound more believable and less like a male infatuated porno.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
I liked

the premise, but, couldn't understand WHY she needed a MAGIC book to become a slut. Just became a mindless stroke story after that.

Anonymous
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