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All Comments on 'Patricia's Awakening Ch. 01'
by stuball83
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- 2 Comments
Anonymousover 7 years agoYou need an editor
Honestly, get an editor to help you with the typos and other syntax issues. Your dialog needs to sound more believable and less like a male infatuated porno.
Anonymousover 7 years agoI liked
the premise, but, couldn't understand WHY she needed a MAGIC book to become a slut. Just became a mindless stroke story after that.
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