- Romance
- Patrick and Cathy
- Page 4
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Click hereThe wedding was a simple affair in front of the justice of the peace. With Beth at her mother's side, Patrick and Cathy exchanged vows. Back aboard the RV, the newly married couple left Boston, heading west.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 2 years agoPretty good story but the ending seemed rushed. At the end of page 3 they’re leaving Utah heading for Boston and in one paragraph on page 4 they’re in Boston. Just Married.
Anonymousalmost 8 years agoYou tell great stories, but a grammatical editor would be very beneficial.
IntrospectiveWandererabout 9 years agoAuthorAs always, I do appreciate the feedback and constructive criticism. Hopefully, it will make future stories better and more fun to read.
It's always interesting to read the perspective of others. This one, for instance, has the comment that Beth was an intruder and not very respectful. A valid point. At the same time, I had one reader comment that a sequel could involve her more.
I doubt that I'll write a second chapter to this. But you never know.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoWouldn't Beth's father have turned up for her graduation? Both parents usually attend even if separated, and it would have added some extra tension into the story.
SouthPacificabout 9 years ago...but you need at least a proof-reader, if not necessarily an editor. Quite a few words that have been spelt incorrectly, or missed out completely - as well as weird uses of tenses.
It certainly doesn't need a sequel, but maybe you could write a story about Beth.
ariesgirlabout 9 years agoBeth sure don't respect herself or her mother. Patrick is a good guy to both of them. I understand she was trying to tempt Patrick to see if he was loyal to her mom but there are plenty other ways to find out without going after him for sex.
Patrick is too kind to tell Beth to stop. Her mom won't stop her from doing it so I guess Beth will continue to try until Patrick gives in. They need to leave Beth at home when they go on their trip, she will be a third wheel.
