All Comments on 'Patty's Eyes Pt. 01'

Great story, five stars (more if possible).

Please continue. Not the same ol same ol. Keep it going

Loved it. I hope there is more?

The concept is good but you need to work on the presentation.

Do you mean "Patty's Eyes" instead of "Patties Eyes"? If so, your editor should have caught that.

You need to work on your intro. Four paragraphs on info dumps isn't the way to grab the readers attention.

Keep going and best of luck.

Hope you continue the story. Patty improves and you become a family.

Patty has a sister

They move into a new home

I think this story has a lot of heart it ,shows how an average guy is a good man.

Love that I can sense the emotion on your story. Love to read your other works and because the story is great and the characters bonded with me I would love to as for a Sequel Please. LOVE TO SEE MORE THREESOME action.

Are you people saying positive things about this garbage completely retarded?

This. Is. Crap.

You say it’s “crap” ...where’s your story so I can criticize it?? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Also, don’t talk shit while hiding behind anonymous. At least have the balls to register THEN talk shit.

BTW, great story. I really enjoyed it. 5 stars.

It still has a lot of heart. Very direct, simply told, and engaging. A reader or an editor would help, but like others have said, you hit it out of the park.

Thanks for sharing. 5* Slainté

Firstly the story is great.

But, you need to read your work and correct the silly mistakes. Perhaps a proof reader / editor would help. These little things can make reading so much easier and lead to someone actually giving you stars, or perhaps a star higher.

You need to include a bit of build up for things to happen. Eg. He would live with them for a while before even thinking about the women quitting their jobs. They would also be reluctant to do this in case he left.

Do mechanics really get paid 120k? Wow, I am in wrong trade and country. Workshop mgr might get a few more dollars an hour than the floor guys.

Nice story and it's nice to see a male character of average size.

And a child shall lead them. A very well thought out and written story. I definitely look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.