Pauline's Diaries Ch. 07

May 8th.

We have a new girl, a buxom black beauty, she is overweight but it suits her calling. She has come to me as a dominatrix, so at last the dungeon is being used. She has been popular in her first week, spanking and whipping men who come to her for such things. If she was not my employee I would have her spank me! She is bright and bubbly when not carrying out her duties and you would not know it was the same woman. She is called Madam Roxanne when on duty, but her name is Tanya.

May 10th.

My visit to the dentist yesterday was a strange affair. Peter Bell is in his early 30's and he is quite handsome. He is one of my ex husband's friends.

Dear diary this strangeness came over me yesterday morning, the very strangeness that lurks within to show myself to men. I wore my dress which I wore on the train journey with Albert, which is dark blue from just under my breast to the hem. Above that it is white, with little dark blue flowers on. The white sleeves have a ring of blue flowers round each of the cuffs on my wrists. I wore American tan tights, and under those tiny black panties. I painted my lips in bright pink lipstick.

I sat in the waiting room flicking through a housewife magazine. Peter appeared several times ushering in patients, and each time he gazed upon my crossed legs. I made a big show of trying to keep my panties covered as I got on the dentist chair. Peter just smiled, as his eyes feasted on long legs, and hands trying to keep my modesty covered.

I will say I have always fancied Peter, and I am sure he has fancied me for some years too. He wasn't what I would call a typical friend of ours back then. He had qualifications and went to a Grammar school, which selects the students they want to have. All my ex husband's other friends, and my ex had manual jobs. Peter's girlfriends at the time were a cut above the rest of us too, but he seemed happy with us all the same.

He asked how married life to Albert was. I always say it is fine, but today when he asked, I replied, I look after my husband's needs as I have been told to do. He reclined the chair whist smiling at me. The chair was tipped so far back my feet, I was sure, were above the level of my head. Peter took a position at my feet, and asked me questions about my teeth. It took an age to get through it, and he never hid his constant glancing between my legs.

Finally he stood next to me and told me to open my mouth wide. He held the tiny mirror in my mouth. His face was close to mine. He told me I usually wore trousers when I visited him, he licked his lips and added, he was glad I wasn't wearing trouser today. I said in that strange voice when a mouth has a dentist's instrument in it, my husband does not permit me to wear trousers anymore. He smiled, and said he always thought I had good legs. I thanked him, and I would have smiled if my mouth was not wide open.

He finished my examination, and went to put the chair up straight. Our eyes looked deep into each others, and my hand covered his and took the control from him. I tipped the chair back to the reclining position, and grabbed his tie and pulled his face to mine. We kissed long and deep. His passion matched the looks in his eyes, which they had for me in the past.

He pulled himself away telling me he was married now, and he should not be doing such a thing. It was not lost on me that back a few years ago when I was married, he would have fucked me if I had let him. He noted the way my face dropped and for some reason, he said, "You always were a tease, everyone thought so."

I could feel my eyes starting to water, as he asked, "Is it true what Colin said, that you dragged him on top of you, on your wedding night?"

I gasped, shoving him out of the way. He grabbed my arm, and said he was sorry for saying such a thing, but the damage had been done. I walked home my mind full of what he said. To hear it from my ex husband's other friends I would have laughed it off, but for Peter to say such a thing it hurt deep down. So now I know Colin has boasted about that night to others. Perhaps I should phone him and have it out with him, but that was back in 1966.

May 14th.

Finally my husband has had cause to punish me. The unexpected cause of my punishment was Rick. I have not or will not have sex with him, but my husband still had reason to punish me. It started yesterday as I attached seamed American tan stockings to my suspender belt, under the leering eyes of my husband. I did it as though I was not teasing him, and pretended I didn't notice his concentration. I wore a cream skirt suit a few inches off my knee, and then we went into town.

A lot of women still wear stockings despite the ease of tights, but seamed stockings are becoming rare, and kept mainly for nights out, not daytime excursions. I would have pointed out men that ogled my legs, but I had no need. My husband noticed every man who would look a little to long, or risk a little smile at me.

Albert went to the hair dressers, while I went to Tom's Dresses. After having concluded my business I headed back to the hair dressers to meet him. I heard footsteps behind me, and I received a whistle, and then a few remarks. I walked up the steps to the alleyway, and the whistling got louder. Half way up the steps Rick ran past me and obstructed my path. He and his mates looked me over, in quite a blatant sexual manner. I felt a hand squeeze my backside which made me jump. I went to move round Rick, but he moved blocking my path. He did it again and again, as his friends crowded round giggling, like stupid school boys. Rick held eye contact with me. He asked me where I was going. I told him it was nothing to do with him. His friends made a few whooping noises.

Rick stood in my path with his arms folded. He told me I had to pay a toll to get past. He said I could carry on my way, but I would have to pay him with a kiss. I just stared at him, and when he didn't move, I told him I would tell the police. It didn't seem to bother him one jot. His friends laughed, and one told me not to be such a spoil sport. I felt the guy's hand lifting and running my hair through his fingers, I tipped my head away to one side.

Rick nodded, and a guy behind me grabbed me round my waist.

I wriggled but he held me fast, pressing himself against my back. He told Rick I smelt real pretty, and as I struggled Rick came forward.

Rick pursed his lips, I made to slap his face, but he caught my hand and held it. The look on his face shocked me, he looked mean and hard. I felt a second pair of hands gently stroking over my backside. It wasn't the boy who was holding me firm from behind. My struggling had ceased as the hand glided down over my backside. I felt a finger trace over my suspender strap, over my skirt.

I do not know why I just stood there without fighting back. I was panting and watching Rick's eyes. It was a moment frozen in time. I waited, and then as Rick's lips neared mine I turned my head away. I did not cry out, nor did I struggle anymore. I just stood there waiting for it to happen. His lips made contact with mine, and he pressed hard on my clamped shut mouth. For a few very long seconds his kiss mashed against my mouth, his tongue licked along my lips trying to gain entry. He didn't have hold of my head; he didn't touch me at all. I wanted to hold my nerve, until this was over. As he pulled away he looked at me with querying eyes. Was he disappointed I was not trying to fend him off?

My head was turned to the side, as one of the boys said he wanted paying too. Lips crushed mine, and before I knew it another one of Rick's gang had spun my head round to the other side, and was receiving his payment. For several moments the boys spun me round to one another, forcing kisses on me and laughing. Hands pulled my face onto their mouths, and I was in such a daze that several times I lost balance, only to be held up by one or another.

The boy who was behind me grabbed me again. Rick held up his hand like some general, and the laughing died down.

One of the boys tried kissing me again, but Rick pulled him off and shoved him roughly on ground. Everyone laughed, even the boy Rick had pushed over. Rick and I were the only ones not laughing.

Rick's eyes locked on to my cleavage. My jacket had not been done up, and at some point during the twisting this way and that, a button had become undone on my sky blue blouse. I backed into the boy who was holding me, as Rick reached out with a single finger. I turned my head away and shut my eyes, as his finger went between my heaving breasts, and stroked upwards, catching a bead of sweat from my exposed flesh. I opened my eyes, and watched as Rick licked my sweat off his finger.

The entire group now had become of a serious mind. What some might put down to high jinks was now overtaken by a sexual tension. Not one boy was laughing. They crowded round tighter, waiting for their leader to make his next move.

The boy holding me round my waist was gyrating his hips. I felt a hardness rub over my backside. He groaned in my ear, and licked my neck causing me to shudder. I stamped my high heel on his foot. He reeled away, and another of Rick's gang took his place. He had one hand round my waist, and the other snaked in my blouse. He covered my bra cup, and flexed his fingers on my breast. I just stared at Rick with as much hatred in my eyes as I could muster. I stopped struggling again, while out of the corner of my eye, I could see my blouse moving where the boy's hand caressed me underneath. I could hear the boy groaning in my ear, I tipped my head back a little, and felt quivering lips suck on my neck.

I watched the jealousy in Rick's eyes, and the tightening of his jaw as I let his friend's lips dance over my neck. I felt the hand pull away from my waist and roam over my ass. I did not defend myself, or try to escape, but I just stared at Rick, as the boy's groans became louder, and even more lust filled.

Rick slipped to his knees right in front of me, and I felt him run his finger along the hem of my skirt. He was looking up into my eyes the whole time. I stood unable to move, but not because I was being held. He started inching my skirt up. I was trembling and letting him push it up slowly, inch by inch.

The rest of his silly gang watched on, but it was like they had faded away, and it was just Rick and me, alone. A low whistle came from one of the boys stood in front of me, when my stocking tops came into view. I still did not struggle. Rick and I carried on staring at each other, as the boy behind me pinched my nipple, and dug his fingers in my ass.

I looked over Rick's shoulder, and 30 yards away I saw my husband, just staring down the alley, motionless. He must have come out of the hairdresser's door, which is right opposite the top of the alley, over the other side of the road.

As my blue panties came into view there was another whistle. Rick just held my skirt and then looked down at my panties. I watched as his head started to move forward. He would take another kiss from me, but not from my lips.

My hand managed to grab his short hair, and I stopped him moving further. I spat at Rick, "Not you."

For some time I will not believe what I did next, I pulled my hand from his hair and pushed it in my blouse. I took the mauling hand off my bra, and fed it under my bra cup. The boy moaned loudly, as his fingers had their fun, but now without the bra masking the feel of flesh. I repeated myself to Rick, telling him again, "not you."

He looked angry, but I just smirked down at him, and then turned my head to the boy who was mauling my breast, and welcomed his tongue in my mouth. Our kiss was passionate and long, and I had to fight myself from wincing as his fingers pinched my nipple.

A shout came from behind us, and footsteps could be heard running up the steps. Rick never got his kiss on my pussy, a kiss I'm sure he would have wanted to savour for the rest of his days.

One of Rick's friends called out, and they began to jump over the wall at the side of the alley. Rick stayed for a little longer, holding my skirt up from his kneeling position. His face was a mixture of bewilderment and rage that I had let his friend get further than he had. Finally he let go, and jumped on the wall. He stood on the top just looking down at me, and then jumped down the other side out of sight, as the three men made it to where I was stood.

I was dazed for a few moments, as they asked if I was okay. Finally I came to my senses and straightened my skirt. My husband had reached us and thanked my rescuers for me. He led me away up the alley. I do not remember walking, all I could remember was Rick's cold blue eyes staring at my flimsy panties, and no doubt longing for what lay beneath.

I was numb for sometime, I just sat in the car as Albert drove us both home, and neither of us uttered a single word. I hoped my kiss with Rick's friend, and guiding his hand under my bra, would upset Rick beyond measure.

My thoughts turned back to Peter Bell my dentists, and what he said about everyone thinking I am a tease. I asked myself if that was what Rick thought before today. I know I teased him when I put my tights on in the garage, but could he not see I was doing that to annoy him, or did that not appear to be the case to his young eyes? I remembered my earlier thoughts of the day, of women not wearing seamed stockings during the day time much now. Was that a sign that I was teasing anyone who would happen to look? My own doctor told me I showed off too much a few years ago. Exhibiting myself to others has always been about my feelings and not theirs. Perhaps now I understand why Mr Sibley raped me after my teasing of him.

Everything is about a man's reaction. If a pretty girl walks by a man can call out or whistle, so perhaps many think a man has a right to take what he wants, and I supply them with the opportunity to do such things because I am the madam in a brothel!

My husband stood close behind me in our kitchen. I could feel his breath on my neck. I stood as if I was still in a trance as he removed my jacket. I felt the waist band of my skirt slacken as he undid the button, and then the zip was pulled down. My lined skirt slipped easily to the floor, and my husband bent me over the table. With my earlier feelings in the car about what a woman deserves, still echoing round my head, I did not lift one finger to resist, nor did I protest as his hand came crashing down on my behind. Three or four hard smacks rang round the room, and then Albert lowered my panties to my knees. Without a word I bent back over the kitchen table. I whimpered as each smack landed. I could feel my ass burn, even after he had stopped. I would have Albert know I teased my dentist, Mr Sibley, and my ex husband's friends too, but I did not say it. I reached across the table and handed my husband the wooden spoon, and then resumed my position bent over. The wooden spoon echoed round the kitchen for the next few minutes.

I waited bent over that kitchen table, as the sound of my husband's zipper was drawn down. He manoeuvred his erection deep in my pussy. It went in with ease. The fucking I received was hard and deep, and not a loving one. It was a fuck for the man behind me, and any pleasure was for him, and not me. His grunts were in step with each deep thrust. I closed my eyes and felt myself come, although I did not want to, because this was supposed to be a punishment, for all my teasing in the past.

My husband came a couple of minutes later, with long deep thrust from his big cock. He pulled out and pulled my panties back up, deliberately squashing the crutch up tight to my pussy. He hissed at me that I would stay like that while I cooked his tea. This was another form of punishment, having his spunk trapped in my panties, and my panties pulled up tight against my pussy. I put my skirt back on and cooked his tea; I opened a bottle of beer for him and took it in. I had said not one word to him since we parted earlier, him to go in the hairdressers, and me to Tom's Dresses, nearly 3 hours ago.

I sat obediently by his side as we watched a rerun of the film, Carry on Doctor. Half way through he undid his zip and took his cock out. I bent my head and sucked him, as he carried on watching the movie. My mind was all about Rick and the boy I kissed, I could not even remember what he other boy looked like, but I know he was taller than the rest. My satisfaction came from knowing Rick was jealous. I wondered just how far things would have gone if I had not been saved.

A devil in me has been let loose. I would have every man in the town fuck me while Rick was forced to watch. I'd gradually take his friends off him one by one. I would allow them sex with me, any sex they desired, until Rick could not take it anymore and fled town for good.

I choked and gagged as my husband held my head. Swallowing his thick white spunk I dreamed of spitting it in Rick's face, where all his friends would see and laugh at him.

My husband let me up and I went and fetched him another beer. I was then allowed to go to the bathroom and have a bath.

I peeled off my sticky panties, and then inserted, and then pulled out the beads from my pussy, which Candy had given me. My fingers took over and I came on them, as I heard my husband chuckling down the stairs at the film.

That night my husband fucked me again. It was slow and as loving as it would get. I didn't come, but I bucked up to meet him.

May 15th.

This morning sat at my dressing table, my husband was brushing my hair. He bent down with his head on my shoulder and we looked into each others eyes, via the mirror. His hand slipped in my bra and he took a firm, but not harsh, grip on my right breasts. He told me that he watched me being kissed and twisted round, and Rick trailing his finger between my tits, and I did not struggle. He said he saw Rick on his knees lifting my skirt, and I did not struggle. He accused me of enjoying the attentions Rick had placed on me. I didn't not answer to any of these things, nor did I answer when my husband told me, I was a woman who deliberately teased the boys, and if I carried on, my punishment would become even more severe. His fingers rolled in breast, and I knew it wasn't a warning, but more of a challenge.

Has the teasing I have done not been enough for a spanking everyday? Perhaps I should let everyman I have teased in the past, spank my bottom. Maybe my husband should have sold me to the Arab gentleman, would that have been sufficient punishment, and justice, for a pretty woman who dressed sexily, hoping to catch the eye of every gentleman she passed!

Walking slowly up the alley my grandmother talked about, up the stone steps, I was hoping my feet landed on the same spots as hers, all those years ago. It is the same alley which Geoffrey Baker followed me as I went on my way to work. I walk up the slope and stand looking at the only wall Rick and his friends could have made their escape by.

A woman and child of about 8 passes me by, as I just stand there staring at the crumbling wall, now covered in graffiti. I walk slowly on; hoping and willing that a flash of fairy dust will somehow, transport me back to the 1970's. I get to the end of the alley where my grandfather would have stood, and watched his wife being spun round, kissed, and then, groped.

At the top of the alley I look over the road. There isn't a door there anymore, there is brick wall, but with a recess where a door once stood. There is a new door further down, and the shop that in my grandmother's time was hairdresser's is now a card shop. I've never know it be a barber's shop. I can remember a shoe shop, a DIY shop, and a charity shop, and before that it had been empty for a while.