Pauly 01

"Oh, I mean, we're just talking here, but since you like how short I wear my coffee shop uniform, I mean, are you or are not melting for my thighs and are you or are you not going to buy two tubular throw pillows, that Martha will size up to my luscious thighs that you keep looking at and then tape both of the tubular throw pillows together nice and tight and give your three plus, plus a work out while you're day dreaming about it being me under you, hmm? I mean, we're just talking here and all, so?"

OMG, OMG, way back in my story I said to avoid "since we're just talking here" conversations at all cost! And I'm not talking about how quickly Martha from the Throw Pillow Shop put something together for me, so. LOL, it was weird that she also had the perfect tape for sale, but I'm new to all this, so what the hell did I know, right? Well, I knew that if throw pillow thighs could get pregnant, well, call me, well, never mind because I already said we're not talking about that. Or how I opened up an account at the Throw Pillow Shop, so.

Anyways, I dropped off Earl's half shot and literally squealed my truck tires out of his shop! I mean, Earl was too old for me anyways at 26 and Billy McKenna was spot on with my age of 20, so, LOL, I actually posted on Chang that I dumped an auto decal guy and looked like a bad ass on Chang for that since it usually goes the other way! Especially since I posted a picture of my new red lightning bolt decals on the rear of my truck! Which I only paid for by letting Earl reverse twerk his wet nut out over me, but hey, everything has a price, right?

But then came the next day, Friday and I had a distraction plan all completely thought through! And oh boy, everything has a price, right?

"Alright, sweetie, that's one ooh la, la Canary yellow outfit and one ooh la, la Caribbean Sea blue outfit for your worse plan B ever trick, so, ahem, a big fat tip would be appropriate if I have to personally take the black satin undies that you plan on wearing, over to the Silkscreen T-Shirt store here in the mall to have three perfectly placed red lightning bolts silkscreened on them because you're afraid because you know a couple of the guys who work there, so? Oops, duh, I had a blonde moment, tee he, I mean, we're just talking here and all, so?"

[A hand is extended and it begins to sprinkle]

"Well, we're just talking here and all, Gloria the salesgirl, but I know those guys at the Silkscreen T-Shirt shop from school and believe me, that was tough enough as just Paul, so, I'll just be waiting in the Food Court, so."

Everything has a price!

"Well, since we're just talking here and all, Pauly, I mean, the Food Court sounds like a good place to wait for me then, especially since you decided to wear your new shorts out of my store. I mean, they absolutely highlight your extremely desirable four and all, so?"

[Oh, oh, four instead of three plus, plus? Oh, that big fat undies runner's tip just got bigger!]

"Oh, I mean, I know we're just talking here and all, Pauly, but most certainly you have a line on both sides of the sidewalk, right?"

[Rain, rain, rain]

"I mean, we don't even need to talk about what you bring for the men, Pauly (pat) and I know that the right woman would have the power to make this (squeeze) an easy four, plus, so?"

[Thunder storm, lightning, heavy rain tip!]

"I mean, we're just talking here and all, Pauly, but you do not need any tubular throw pillows, so?"

[Tornado! Pass off the wallet!]

I mean, I must have said it nine times already! Find the exit doors as soon as someone says "we're just talking here" and exit stage right!

And since we're just talking here, I mean, geez, one cannot even wait in the Food Court without being asked if I needed to use the restroom! And we won't talk about how that may or may not have ended up on my "to do" list, so.

But the attention wasn't all that bad, as long as we're just talking.

"[Mwah] there you go, Pauly, you're all set. Flashy black satin undies with three perfectly placed silkscreened red lightning bolts on them. Also, since we're just talking here, I mean, as pay back for some stupid mall drama stuff, I told the guys at the Silkscreen T-Shirt Shop who these undies were for, so, LOL, they're probably on their second session of jacking off in the back room by now, LOL!"

Well, that's on Jerry and Conrad at the Silkscreen T-Shirt Shop, which I didn't have time to worry about, but since we're just talking here, huh, more guys like me than I ever thought! Well, they like something about me, so.

Which was something that I apparently thought about testing that Friday night on the Strip! Well, as long as hanging out inside of the Lava Java Coffee Shop is the same as being on the Strip, I guess. But I wouldn't be mad if anyone talked about the way I looked. I definitely went Friday night when getting dressed, so.

[Door chime, dingle, jingle, jangle]

See folks? Billy McKenna and his step sister and her friend are a damn weird trio situation! But I believe that Billy McKenna is only wrapped and not, ewe, whipped by Sasha. But holy twitching leg bouncing snap! Another thing I need to get on my "to do" list to learn more about!

[Twitching leg, gum pop, LOL, times 2, repeat again and again]

"(Pop)"

"(Pop)"

"Oh, um, do you work here at the Lava Java Coffee Shop then, um?"

What I didn't need to add to my "to do" list was how to play it cool! I mean, call me super cool Pauly.

"No, I do not work here now, but I know that you like your foamy half shot quad, so I will get that for you if you like. And of course, I will get your, weird, um, lovely step sister her Raspberry Ice Tea and her friend her Dragon Fruit Ice Tea, so. I'm Pauly, by the way."

"Oh, um, I'm Billy M..."

"Oh, I know you who you are, Billy McKenna, you're Billy McKenna! I know you from another place and you know what place I'm talking about and you're the one who put an eye ball on me and then held that eye ball on me until your stupid, ooh, your lovely step sister, Sasha and her friend, Jacqui came along and push everything to the side, so, I'm just talking here, Billy McKenna, but I know you and you're a loser and even Gianna behind the counter agrees with that because I'm just talking here, but I just put those words in her mouth, loser!"

"(I said no such thing.)"

"(Pop)"

"(Pop)"

"Oh, well, I didn't expect all this embarrassment, buy why don't we all take a deep breath and um, hey, a foamy half shot quad would be great, so, wow, what just happened here then?"

"(Pop) go pee, bro."

"(Pop) yeah, go pee, bro Billy."

Which I took advantage of and high tailed it to the counter to retrieve the three beverages, which gave Gianna a chance to burn a hole in my head, so.

[Plops down three beverages]

"(Pop) it's not was weird as it seems, but he's my step bro and he's my weekend meal ticket, so I'm just talking here, but the only seat available in Billy's SUV is the rear third row, so."

"(Pop) yeah, Sasha's just talking here, so."

"Oh, and I've been "just talking" for almost two days, but I put my money where my mouth is, so."

[Two bags slide across the café table, a yellow bag and a blue bag]

"(Pop) keep talking then, Pauly."

"(Pop) yeah, keep talking then, Pauly."

"Oh, I'm just talking here, but the yellow bag contains an almost ridiculously sheer Canary yellow capri jumpsuit with a black pushup lace bra with a front clasp for that effect and with black Brazilian bikini style undies for a tad of modesty in that area, but one size under for that effect to well, highlight all that, and black suede ankle boots to boot. And Jacqui, the blue bag basically has the same thing for you, but in Caribbean Sea blue. Also, OMG, you're shorter than I am, Jacqui so you may have to roll the bottom of the cuffs or tuck the bottoms into the ankle boots, so?"

"(Pop) and you think this is appropriate for me to wear while cruising the Strip with my Step bro? I just said it, it's not what it seems, so. Well, it's a little weird, but Jacqui and I are stuck right now, but these outfits will only make things seem even more inappropriate, so?"

"(Pop) yeah, inappropriate."

"(Pop) but these are the fucking whip!"

"(Pop) yeah, they are the fucking whip!"

"My truck key fob is in the bottom of the yellow bag. I mean, I'm just talking here, but one way or another, Billy McKenna is cruising me up and down the Strip and then driving me home tonight!"

"(Pop) Hmph!"

"(Pop) yeah, Hmph!"

"I mean, I'm just talking here, but I believe the Ladies restroom/changing room is that way and the outfits also double as your ID to get into the underground club in Hillsdale, so?"

"(Pop) well, I'm just talking here and all, but I'm impressed, Pauly. And I think Jacqui is impressed with your three plus, minus, plus, so?"

"(Pop) yeah, you're a perfect three plus, minus, plus, plus, so."

Well, my distraction plan A seemed to be working anyways. And when they passed each other coming and going to and from the restrooms area, well, at least the trio was broken up! And I'm just talking here, but it is weird! Even though it's probably all above the table.

Anyways, plan B was to be super nice to Billy McKenna and force, I mean, mold into a Strip date with him.

"Oh, again, what just happened here?"

"You're a loser, Billy McKenna, that's what has been happening here!"

Or, LOL, jump right into plan C, I guess.

"Damn it, Pauly, it's not my fault that Sasha is too old for the dance clubs and one year short for the adult clubs! Plus, OMG, she has like a bazillion "little step sister" trump cards and she has this slight of hand thing going on and the trump cards are flying all over the place and, well, you look nice tonight, so?"

"Well, are we just talking here or are we cruising the Strip then, Billy McKenna? And I might be saying that we should take off before Sasha and Jacqui exit the Ladies room, so?"

Well, I had my cruise date, I had Billy McKenna on the ropes because he did like people like me and I had my share of horn beeps during our five trips up and down the Strip. I mean, not as many horn beeps as Sasha and Jacqui had to endure, but I was pretty happy.

And since we're just talking here, I mean, I do not have to bother putting "do some stuff at every fifth traffic light" on my "to do" list because oh boy, I did some stuff! And it was dirty stuff! Well, extremely naughty stuff, but huh, I mean, I'm just talking here, but huh, it's like the helmet was made to accept a few pucker kisses and fit like that's the other place where I belonged.

Well, there may be a limit of how many times you can do that before something happens that you may not want to talk about, but that's life, I guess.

End Pauly 01