All Comments on 'Payback'

Have to say really liked this one. After the super glue and the hen party, she's lucky she woke up in the morning. If she doesn't pull her head out of her ass this marriage is toast. Maybe toast already. Hope you submit a concluding chapter with what you think the ending should be. Maybe invite some other authors to provide different takes on an ending. Might fun to see that also. 5 stars of encouragement.

I like the way he got into her Head. and got some Head. Now will she have to go to her hair dresser and explain the Fuchsia?

Get an editor. And then understand that no one takes this stuff seriously. It just bothers us when you don't take the time to think things through. Like why are these to married to one another? All they do is belittle one another and spend their time together thinking of ways to screw with each others' heads. Your time line sucks. If he goes to work at 4 am and works 13 hours, he makes a typical Happy Hour that lasts from 5-6 pm. What job has those hours? Example? He went to the hospital first thing in the morning. He comes home, moves his things to the spare bedroom and then goes to bed for the night. He never ate? It took all day and into the night at the hospital? Seems unlikely. And if they had a spare bedroom why wouldn't he have slept there earlier instead of flopping down on the couch? A locked bedroom door would have spared him a glued dick. At the end, what good was telling her that he got a new job and a pay raise? He has just dyed her hair some bad color and he thinks ANYTHING is going to calm her down? This reads like the movie "War of the Roses". The next time he goes to sleep he's going to wake up in the hospital without a dick. I know this is fiction. I know this was supposed to be funny. But it was so badly written that I could find nothing entertaining or fun about reading it.

Sorry. Maybe next time?

Try learning the difference between 'to' and 'two' (only one of them is a number) before you start offering criticism, This was a fun story and written as such. Climb down from your soapbox and learn to read properly and enjoy. You are what is commonly known as a PIN (figure it out)

I enjoyed your story golfer; keep on going. Please!!

Again - Breathe you dumb fuck! Hold your pill in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Put the pill in your mouth and then drink the water. Everything will be better soon.

Again - It's just a damn story.

Don't worry, you government check will be coming in the mail in a couple weeks.

This couple are obviously into playing practical jokes on each other but they may have taken it too far this time.

2 stars

But why lie to your readers? I read the first story a nd know perfectly well that he admitted to neglecting his wife by spending every single day getting plastered at the bar. That is harmful to the f amily, and reeks of trying to manipulate the reader.

This guy is a fucking dick and admitted he deserved payback. It was only over the top for the humiliation. His attempt to blow off his drinking as her fault was cuntish in the e xtreme. You're writing a story here, if you want to be sympathetic, be honest.

But he still hasn't gotten true contrition from her. So what's he going to do to her next?

And he better continue to lock her out of his bedroom when he's sleeping. Safer that way.

Two people who don't love each other trapped in a marriage and bent on playing games of humiliation and revenge. 2..

For the read.

Well that was fun ... she was way outta line with the super glue, laughING at him with her hags. Why did these 2 characters ever love each other?

I'd just leave the bitch and be happy!!!

could lead to painful discretions. TK U MLJ LV NV

Better than the "first part". On to #3...

We were told this is a story (not real) this was from his imagination. And also not to get upset but, I got upset anyway because she wasn't turned into workhorse and had to carry logs Or he didn't develop witch craft powers. He also could have turned her into Gladstone Kravitz. I'm just not sure which Darrin he should've been

Loved it, start to finish.

Just fair. Could have been getter.

Loved it to say the least!

Writing about people who don't respect themselves or each other is a waste of time.

...but it seems to work for them. 4 stars and thank you.

Before they escalate their little "paybacks" into murders! Pretty funny, but these two need a divorce. They're morons, not adults.

Super gluing his penis to his stomach for drinking too much by itself would justify divorce. Constant getting back at one another and escalation would only result in worse instances. Should have gotten a divorce.

sucked less than the first one.

Sure, it's meant to be a funny little story... but there's zero respect, and the scale balance just doesn't exist, it's tipped all one way... her way.

She doesn't love her husband. At all.

Time to find someone who will actually be in the relationship with him.

Should of just divorced her.she obviously isn't that contrite or care for him.

Read it again. OK that was funny but he still needs a new wife. .Or at least dump this one

Say goodbye

File for a divorce and give her as little as possible. Keep the new job and the pay raise to himself. Maybe feed her to the gators and be done with it.

Superglue? ANd then telling the women of the neighborhood and laughing about it? No that is so far over the line that it was time to "separate in place." Throw her out of the master bedroom immediately; let her sleep in the damned guest room. No playing at stupid payback. Let her know your anger is so real that if she doesn't apologize and come up with a good way to make it right, then it will be a divorce.

What kills me is that women act as if non-stop huge hours required in a job that buys all the shit they "have to have" is recreational for the man. God help the man if after working 60 hour weeks, he doesn't have the energy to do the usual household or outdoor chores. Then she'll claim he is a lazy fuck and she is the put-upon martyr.

My wife and I came close to a divorce simply because I was working 60 hour weeks to pay for the big house, BMW for her, private schools for kids, housekeeper 30 hours a week, gardener twice a week, etc and she bitched that I didn't do more around the house and "all you do is your job."

If it weren't for the fact we had three kids under 16 years old, I would have walked out. As it is, I moved into a separate room with its own bathroom attached and let her know that if we did not start immediately on marriage counseling, we were history. She bitched but went. It helped but our marriage never has really gotten back to where I thought it was. Believe me, there is no humor in those sorts of things.

The ER staff laughed? Wow! That’s a HUGE lawsuit!!!!

ZK

Instead of tit for tat, I'd be expecting divorce papers!

Please finish the story! Its written well and clear, its easy to follow.

No, just no! Can't believe these adult idiots behave like they do. 1 star -- Bob

No

Again communication

So much dissappointment.... I was really hoping he'd superglue her labias together and to the sides of her legs then laugh about it with his friends. Turnabout is fair play.

Still think this is funny

Bullshit

It sucks. No end. No real payback. The MC is a wimp. Should have been: " Wait till I tell her I've moved out! "

Dumb! No, double dumb! One Star,

Better than the original but no ending. What happened to the couple, to the wife?

Weird.

Pure awesomesauce

Hehe.

It was good until the ending that wasn't.