All Comments on 'Payback Pt. 01'

If the second part isn’t much longer than this, it should have been posted as a single story.

A good story, waiting for part 2. AAAA+++

Really, I have not even finished yet but the running over the bikes is right out of Smoky and the bandit. lol

Can't wait for Part 2.

The premise is decent but the execution is a bit sketchy. His cell phone would've given away his identity, or the cops could run his prints through APIS and get a match in no time. Plus, all the lies he gave the cops about a fake identity, fake birthdate and a divorce would be accessible through public records via computer. The best bet is drive to the P.D. and tell them what happened.

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Still a good story. 4/5.

Enjoyable story so far. The wife's conversation was a bit far fetched, but I still liked the story.

Well the usual misogynist bs but hey the rationale is reasonable this time so I read on. Makes you wonder though why these vengeful losers pick such women...I guess they get what they wanted in the end.

Good story that gives hope for a good sequel. But here I have firm faith in the author! 5/5!!!

This was refreshingly different. I had to laugh when he rammed all the bikers off the road and was surprised, because in the movies, the biker gangs are always able to stop a moving pick-up truck.

The wife seems totally deluded. I'm not sure why she was shocked at her husband going nuclear after being abducted and beaten, but it'll be interesting to see what happens in part 2.

Good one, keep them coming. The whore and her cronies need to pay. Maybe, she can take some of her slut clothes and go into business. It's the only thing you can sell and still have...

Why do the writers only post 2 pages if there more ? Have the fucking story finished . Post the whole damn thing. I am holding score till next chapter. Very good so far . So hurry with the next chapter .

Loving it so far.

so this MC is a bit off his rocker huh a bit bipolar maybe. could be all those guns

Liked it so far. And as a life-long motorcycle rider, and a pickup owner, I know which one of those is a weapon, and which one is not.

The only advantage the bike has is in how nimble it can be, depending on how customized it is. Stock bikes can turn on a dime, and stop in half the distance of a truck or car. Other than that, they're a target. Cut and chopped bikes are not nearly so maneuverable.

Looking forward to part two.

This one is so angry, I worry about the author's mental health.

keep on with the story it is really good i like stories where the tough guys lowe and the hubby wins the bikers can keep the slut she is not worth having

Good job on the recovery and plotting the revenge can't wait.

Liked it. Looking forward to part 2. Hard to make a RAAC out of this one

4/5

"Suffice it to say I really didn't want to waste time on those memories right now." - Thank you, because it likely has no bearing on the story.

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No need for two parts/

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@L_P_N, why would the cops run his prints? He gave them his name, and he's not a suspect or anything.

Great twist. Hope you get chapter two up soon!

Certainly isn't your average story. A lot happen, so much it in just two pages. Really can't digest it all. So she had basically cut him off and suddenly started with a biker gang. He gets the shit kicked out of him and gets away and kills a couple bikers. He manages to get to the hospital and is now getting revenge against his wife. WpW

Nice fantasy story. In reality this just seems almost improbable it would happen so fast. You did not give a background on Pam so we have no idea why a wife would turn into such a sleaze,whore,a total scum bag. What kind of deal did the biker boyfriend have with this slut that he would beat the guy to a pulp and was intending to kill him. There was no real money to gain here. The chase and Charlie getting away was a miraculous. Now waiting for part 2 , but you make these stories too short.

yes part 2 and hope she gets burned badly

He’s beaten unconscious, broken ribs, ruptured orbital socket, concussion and more but he manages to get up and drive 50 miles including a bike chase?

He gets to the hospital and is interviewed by police but rather than telling the truth, lies to them (which is a felony btw) and they gave his fingerprints. And makes up an outlandish story that is GUARANTEED to attract media attention.

Through all of that, the wife is completely clueless as though he was just missing for a few days? Why would she have him stopped? What plans was he going to ruin?

Stupid cunts are a dime a dozen but a crooked accountant is worth his weight in gold and which one do you think a gang needs more: pussy or a way to launder money?

I hate stupid stories that require the readers to surrender all sense of reason and common sense.

Well done action story. Looking forward to the rest.

I'm happy that Charlie stood up. Comments ask how did a guy end up with a cunt like this. The answer is SEX. Young to old, men chase hot looking sexy women. They dont protect themselves and dont admit the women are just using them as a place holder. I had a woman let me catch her because she lived in the country of Pa and wanted to live with me in NYC. You can guess the end results.

“Misogynist BS?” Somebody needs to use a dictionary. He loved and supported her. She slutted around on him, had him jumped by a gang and laughed as he was beaten. But his revenge is misogynistic? Fuck right off with that shit. My only complaint with the story is his firearm selection. 5 rounds with a gang after him? If needed, nowhere near enough firepower.

My main beef with the story was the disinformation to the police. They have (as mentioned by others) a way of getting to the truth of things fairly quick. When they did, he most likely would be held as a person of interest in the questionable biker "accidents". At least he could face charges of providing false information/report, possibly even hindering an investigation or more.

But a nice twist of tale so far. Look forward to the next installment. AND, I know the type of site this is posted on, but I have to say, I really like and PREFER well written stories without the gratuitous sex so many feel is necessary. Kudos for that!

had to laff at got my judge, do people really rely on those things for other than small varmints

Scrap the bar, Clyde!

Great start !! Keep it going!!

Is wifey mental? Need background. Cops arent dumb and those bikers wouldnt be sitting on their hands

An interesting start for this story. A few holes detracted from the overall story.

Looking forward to part 2.

I hope part 2 explains the why and when of her cheating just so we know.

Gave you 4 stars. I enjoyed the lead up. Outside of some of the guys who followed him dying, there was little reason not to report to the police. Of course he is going to get caught in the long run, but his story about how he was attacked and then followed would be easy to prove by the forensics on his truck. (Marks matching the multiple motorcycles.) But I will be waiting to see how you handle it.

Another 5* effort, not really a bunch of new LW cliche ground here, but a solid story written well. I am interested for sure, would love to know what she was thinking. Did she just turn bat-shit crazy all at once or was she just able to hide it for few years.

Started well but rapidly fell away .

The escape seemed too easy . I'm talking about stashing his vehicle , being interviewed by the Police , clearing his former home , arranging its rental and sale . Way too conveniently simple , can't happen like that , surely . Only in fiction . And you write better fiction than this, usually .

Not all the bikes were damaged , but were all the bikers involved in the chase ?

If not , get on with the sequel . Payback is a double edged sword .

Good beginning!

5

Nice start to the story

What the point of the story, really? Why dont you let the wife be as nasty as she acts? Is it too hard to write or what? Why are there always those insane characters who go from normal like they were all their life to totally insane in less than a day and with a split personality to boot? How else could she be so 'normal' on the phone after being insane before. Like any similar storys, pretty lazy writing without any point. Would be too easy to call the police, report the crime and get a divorce. But no there has to be some stupid plotting wich wont have a point, because obviously the ex doesnt care and is insane.

Weird police force in that area. The MC lied to them and killed or injured several people. The bikers know who did it. So they won't tell the cops? Dream on!

Is he 33 or 40? Please keep the ages straight. It does throw off things a little in the story.

It’s only fiction, many holes. LOVE. Slap*hapy*papy#9

Authors can write what they wish and there may be readers who enjoy stories that begin with some outlandish like "her outfit consisted of the shortest microskirt" with a see-through blouse going into a sleazy bar. But, come on -- is that anything remotely real, new or interesting? For me, I stopped reading.

If only he had been a SEAL/SF/ninja, then you would have hit all the cliches.

Oh, and please never talk about guns or their ballistic capabilities, you don’t know what you don’t know.

See?

It's not that readers hate RAAC stories, the BTB also have to be written well.

This story is all over the place

"So now what? Who should pay next for my wife's infidelity?"

um no one? Who really cares?! She fucked someone other than her husband. Move on. You already got your ass beat...

Blah blah blah on the negative comments. I loved the story can't wait pt2. 5 stars.

Kind of confusing. Hard to follow. Just not that well written.

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MC is hard to like. Slut wife seems to have IQ of a potted plant. No reason to root for either of them.

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Only reason to bother to read next part is to see how badly her biker friends get hammered.

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Barely 3 ***

Excellent five star start. Looking forward to part 2.

Color me shocked, a complete by the numbers over the top, straight outta the LW box wife.

I'll give you that you can write a story but little is any different than any other one here. The LW template is over used as it is here.

No way the wife can be that Jekyll Hyde....slut biker chick and the husband has no clue, especially given his mobbed up accounting practice. Too much hyperbole overall. Burn them all and be done in one story, not multiple submissions. You are better than this story.

Can’t wait for a part 2!

Thank you for posting this.

Did I miss where he got his truck and ID back?

@Anonymous "Weird police force in that area. The MC lied to them and killed or injured several people. The bikers know who did it. So they won't tell the cops? Dream on!" - What are the bikers going to say? "We beat the shit out of this guy. When he woke up he got in his truck and wrecked our bikes, so we chased him to beat him up some more, but he knocked us off the road."

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A couple of comments have mentioned fingerprints. I can't find where he was fingerprinted.

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I can't quite figure out his giving false info, maybe if they checked hospitals he didn't want them to find him? If his false statements are held against him, that could be his defense.

Nice

Fuck you anon. Good beginning to a tale. Fucking cunt wants him to be nice to her? How about the big asshole biker. Will he live? (I hope not) Please continue...

Five Stars

I guess my question is how does one end up marrying someone as stupid as this wife?? Obviously he is thinking with his small head instead of his big one. Liked the story. Yeah, I like violence especially on deserving assholes like those bikers.

If you go back and take a look at the vast majority of this writers LW tories you will see the most of them usually involve the husband being Beat to Death OR \hospitalized or suffering from torturous anal rape by the wife's boyfriend… and yet somehow no matter what the wife does FARMERS SON always and I mean ALWAYS results in reconciliation

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wow ANOTHER wretched mindless vile pathetically stupid LWS .

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why hasn't he gone to the police?

his actions easily qualify as justifiable defense of his own life after the beating he has received.

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really how could anyone even give this piece of crap story a 1 star?

As a story, it's literate in a comic book sort of way but there is nothing erotic here unless you get off on self righteousness and violence.

If this travels along Farmer's usual storyline, he'll go full-blown cuck in the second chapter, take her back and take it up the ass from the remaining bikers.

Yet another story that gets my attention and then stops. I’m anxious to see a bitch burn, and take some bikers with her. Pam is one dumb cheating bitch, and her excuses should be interesting. The Dodge Power Wagon is not a truck that a motorcycle should angle with, so I hope we see the truck again.

You had 5* going until the back of page 2. The character you created in our minds would have speed dialed the lawyer and she'd be served already. The last paragraph or so seems like you're setting us up for possible plot lines in part 2, but clumsily done. Not trying to be mean, but solid story that faltered at the end. 4*

A little out there, but entertaining. The description of his bitch wife’s attire was a hoot. Not even street walkers dress that way. He’d better keep his judge handy, Decatur’s you know the boys will be looking for him. Maybe when the house sells ( in Ohio we have dowry rights, so she’d have to sign off for the sale) he should take the money and run!

Anonymous about 7 hours ago

Age Is he 33 or 40? Please keep the ages straight. It does throw off things a little in the story

.Charlie Wilson, that's it, that's my name. I am thirty-three years old and employed as an accountant.

The voice kept asking questions.

I finally made up a name for him.

My name is Sam Adams. I live in Wilsonville. I am forty years old and I am allergic to Penicillin.

When Dave got to the hospital I had corrected my name for admissions and had called the office and had them give the poor girl the insurance information since I still didn't have

If you had really read the story, you would have realized he was hiding his true identity so his wife couldn't find him..

Ooof, ummm, not sure about this one. Wow, ummm... is a second part really needed?

Gave this a high rating.

But man, the dialogues of the wife Pam was so outlandishly out of this world it's morbidly hilarious. I hope this won't go like the series "Losing the Fight" by demander whose chapter one was very good and the sequel a total disaster story of a SIMP maybe a closet cuck.

But thanks Farmers_Son you're one of my fave writers these days.

gotta see where this goes

Crazy but fun. Looking forward to more mayhem in part 2

*****I love action stories and in LW section damn this should be a good series. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to Pt .02!!!

Why would Pam yell out, Stop him?" Stop him from what?

Fun to read but lots of things not believable in life.

Paragraph 6:

“Should’ve been gone long ago.”

Well...not believable but damn sure fun. On the gun, we are talking about a gang not one person. I'd go with the high capacity Glock 9mm with extra mags on me and keep an appropriate semi auto rifle as close as possible. Pistol grip pump shotgun might come in handy too.

a .410 is going to blast through concrete walls?

Don’t divorce her for at least several months. She can’t afford a lawyer. Without a case, she can’t force him to provide anything at all. On the phone, he should have told her to get a better paying job - at a titty bar, or prostituting herself.

Very nice story so far I look forward to the conclusion

With his friends, he could avoid a divorce and pay for her shallow grave...

Good so far

Fun story. Definitely one for the scum BTB trolls and women haters to jerk off to in their parents basement.

Who would marry a women this stupid?

i don't know maybe divorce.

Good story Burn the bitch, gut the bastard. LP

Beat that bad call police. Motorcycles would be written off as you are hurt so bad. Friends take care of ones you missed.

She did not get what she deserved, she belongs on the streets with all the other low life whores.

Good setup. I'm looking forward to the next part.

Ed

sorry to burst your idiot bubble, but .410 slugs won't 'blast through a concrete block wall' with any degree of certainty. A 45LC would do more damage. At best, you'd get grit in your eyes if you weren't wearing eye protection when you tried it. Way better off with .45 LC and modern loads, very effective, and just slightly more potent than a .44 mag in a modern gun, instead of an antique Peacemaker with balloon head cases and black powder.

The hospital/trauma center would have checked his name to see if he had insurance in case it was needed to pay.

With no ID, the police will check his name as a matter of course, to make sure it is not gang or drug related.

The time is way past when you could just give a phony name and get away with it at hospitals or to the police,

The “judge” is a pathetic excuse for a firearm. The .410 is far less powerful than the .45LC and unless its a chap ass Walmart concrete block without support it will at best crack it. Somehow all the writers here think putting the word “shotgun” is a magic charm. And yes you very much have to aim a shotgun not point it somewhere in that direction