All Comments on 'Peaches and Cream Pt. 05'

Review of their lives and the foundation of the different stages, in their relationship.

Keep writing...

So, realistic!

5*****

But it would be easier to digest the transitions if you separated the changes in time with dashes or like you inconsistently did in this story with the dates. For instance you went back to 1998 but didn't include a date to tell us we were back in 2016.

Thanks for a great, very realistic story. I can't wait to read more!

...but as the other commenter said (and I did before), you need transitions to smooth out things from one paragraph to another--it's very easy to lose track of which thread you're dealing with.

Otherwise, love the interaction between Cat and Matt. Can't wait to read more, which I hope will include a more detailed flashback as to exactly why they broke up; you mention the Dr. and Matt kissing the girl, but you don't fill in details to let us know if it was one or both things that led to their separation. Keep that in mind.

When I post the stories they have section breaks but because they use a plain text format to upload the get lost. I will try to work on that so we know where we are. The cutting the finger was not a transition But him remembering. This is a work in progress. And yes why they broke up will be revealed.