Petra's Tale Pt. 02

Was it because I was living a lie or was a genuinely not maternal? My work with the church youth group told me that wasn't the case, I loved kids but that led to another question, did I just love other people's kids for the simple reason you could just hand them back after a couple of hours?

Nevertheless, that was just a fantasy but the very next day when I came back from the conference I saw her heading back in as well. She headed to reception and I went straight to the elevator, but by the time the door finally opened Susan was rounding the corner and I held the door for her.

"Thanks, honey," she stepped inside, "God, I hate hotels, they fucked up my booking. I had a text message telling me I was going to be charged for another day and I was like, excuse me but I was booked for three days. How the fuck can they mistake a three for a one?"

"You pay them peanuts you'll get monkeys," I pressed the button.

Susan giggled at that.

"God, I haven't heard that one for a while," the doors closed, "probably because it's so politically incorrect but you're right," she put her back to the elevator.

"I work in recruitment, it's all middle management but even there we have our share of monkeys who just want to do the hours and get home."

"I work for a charity, we have to help people go bankrupt without selling their bodies, so I'm the one who should apologise for not being politically correct."

"Fuck apologies," she looked past me, "I'm so not into apologies, I think the nuns beat it out of me in school."

"Which probably explains why you're gay," I also put my back to the wall, "sorry, my bad."

"You're good," she giggled, "I haven't heard that line for a while either."

"I've got a few choice lines," I replied, "like how many feminists does it take to change a light globe? Five to lend moral support and one to call her ex husband."

Susan burst out laughing and fluffed at her hair.

"I've heard that one before, just not from a woman."

"I'm not anti-feminist," I hastened to add.

"I'm not either," she broke in, "but some of them really need to step down from the pulpit and give the rest of us a turn in the spotlight, we're just trying to make ends meet. I love working with men, I just can't have one inside me although I did have one flatmate who went down on me once."

I winced at that and the elevator came to a stop.

"Now that's something I haven't heard before."

"We were both quite drunk and we'd been indulging in a bit of a smoke, fair's fair though. I did wank him off," she took a step forward, "but that's probably too much information."

I followed her out into the corridor somewhat thankful we didn't have to continue the conversation because I might have felt obliged to talk about the time I seduced Alicia. When she got to my door though she stopped.

"Fancy a meal tonight?"

"Um," I slid my card into the slot, "I'm um, married."

"I noticed the ring and it's not that kind of dinner," she replied, "but my employers have emailed me a voucher for a French restaurant not far from here, it's for two people. They must just assume I've got a woman in every city," she smiled crookedly.

"I'm a recruiter, not a fucking sailor and for the record I'm single at the moment, or as I prefer to say I'm between fucks."

"Okay," I pushed the door open, "I'll just have a shower and get changed, just knock on the door when you're ready."

It occurred to me when I was standing under the shower that perhaps this wasn't a good idea but I reasoned that it was just a casual dinner. With that in mind my choice of attire was probably telling because I elected for a cream-coloured blouse and white jeans. It was about then that fate stepped in when there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find the receptionist who'd taken my reservation the day before, he had an envelope in his hand.

"Sorry to bother you, but this came in the post this morning."

"Oh, thank you," I took it from him and stared at the address on the back, it was from my husband and as he backed away I took another look at him.

"Can I ask you a big favour?" I hesitated, "can I borrow that tie for a night?"

"My tie?" He touched the knot, "why?"

"It's for a dinner date," I replied, "I'll pay you twenty dollars for the night and I'll leave it at the desk in the morning."

He stared at me as if I'd grown an extra head and then shrugged.

"Fine with me," he loosened the knot, "but I'd have settled for less."

"And I'd have gone higher," I moved to my purse, "thanks for this."

"No worries," he removed the tie as I pulled out two ten dollar bills, "and I thought I'd seen it all before."

"And it's our secret, okay?" I handed him the money and took the tie from him, "thanks."

"No worries," he backed out and closed the door.

The envelope contained a form from the real estate agent, the seller had finally agreed to the price and wanting to close the deal before he changed his mind, the agent had hand delivered the form to John's place of work. He'd signed it and promptly mailed it to me, he'd added a post it note asking me to fax it back to the office. I sat looking at that piece of paper for the better part of ten minutes before finally signing it.

I'd no sooner signed it when Susan knocked on the door and seeing me with my face half made up she pulled a wry grin.

"No need to go all Barbie on me, it's dinner for two not a dinner and a fuck."

"Sorry, I've just had to sign a real estate agreement," I sat down in front of the mirror, "just don't go anywhere while I finish putting on my face."

"You're buying a house?"

"Yeah," I glanced at her briefly and because it was weighing on me, I let it all out, my doubts and fears, and everything else in between. For her part, Susan just sat and listened patiently, which did impress me because I was babbling.

"I know I'm babbling but you're the sounding board tonight."

"That's cool," she flicked at the tie I'd 'rented' that night, "nice tie," she flicked at it, "you didn't go to David Jones did you?"

"Ha ha," I pulled a face, "I'm quick but I'm not that quick, I um, rented it from the receptionist," I ran my eye over her outfit.

"I'm impressed," she fluffed at her hair, "and that's showing some bottle."

Susan was definitely going for the after five corporate look judging by the silver satin blouse and matching collar tie, it was tucked into a leather pencil skirt with a front fly opening accessorised with a leather belt and ankle high snakeskin boots.

"What kind of snake is it?"

"A dead one," she adjusted her grip on the strap of her handbag, "I broke up with a woman when I bought these boots. Lesson number one, don't date a vegan when you're wearing clothes made of animal skins."

"Was it worth it?"

"Hell yeah," she grinned, "I call them my fuck me boots, everyone notices these babies, even the straight women notice them."

"Well I noticed them," I took a step back, "you look nice, very chic corporate with a dangerous edge."

"Gee, thanks," she followed me into the room, "I went on a splurge in London last year and had to buy an extra suitcase just for the clothes. Trying to explain that to customs was a bastard, luckily I mailed the receipts to myself before I left the country because they'd have been trying to charge import duties. I just used the well worn line that I needed two suitcases for all my clothes."

"I'd love to go to London," I picked up my handbag, "we went to Tahiti for our honeymoon and two years ago we went to Bali but I spent three days throwing up, as they say, don't drink the water."

"Tahiti is one of those places I keep meaning to visit but I've been to Bali too, I just didn't drink the water though."

Travel was one of the main topics of conversation over dinner, because it seemed relatively safe, Susan had been everywhere, Europe, Africa, Asia and North America, with South America on her radar as well.

"Peru would be fucking amazing, I had a friend who did an ayahuasca ceremony and while I'm not sure I'd be into that it sounded out of this world."

"I think of South America I tend to think of Brazil and Argentina."

As to how we went from travel to sex was probably the result of that third glass of wine. I didn't intend to have the third glass but Susan had insisted on it and so I agreed. They say alcohol is a social lubricant and it certainly lubricated my tongue because I let a lot of things slip, about the only thing that didn't come out was my seduction of Alicia. I kept that one tucked neatly out of the way but admitted that Amanda had attracted me, I thought that was safe because you could admit to liking another woman without crossing to the dark side.

One thing I didn't hold back on though was my growing dissatisfaction with my marriage, it all came out that night. I resented the fact he thought my focus should be on the home when I had a good job that actually earned more money than his job. John was working at a foundry, having tossed in his job at the hospital in the hopes of earning more money doing shift work at the foundry, his bible course had stayed unfinished.

"He doesn't realise that taking time out from my job will mean less money."

"There is another thing," she mused, "what if he feels threatened by the fact you earn more money than him?"

"Well that's been a bone of contention for a while. My wage will have to pay the mortgage but his will pay for the household expenses and the shopping. Don't get me wrong, he's not irresponsible with money, he's actually quite good but I'm constantly having to rein him in whenever he wants to spend money we don't have. He had two credit cards, both maxed to the limit and I had to work out a payment plan and force him to stick to it."

"Sounds like my brother," she rolled her eyes, "but with Frank it's all gambling debts, he's always got the inside track on a horse but it never really pans out. It's the same old story, he tells us all he's broken even over the years and I keep saying, if you'd invested the money you've spent in some kind of managed fund imagine how much more money you'd have to spend."

"It's the allure of easy money," I replied, "we get quite a few clients in who first hit the rocks when they hit the pokies. The worst thing the government ever did was green light poker machines and I can see why pubs and RSL clubs put them on the premises, they pull the punters in and while they feed the machines they're buying alcohol. It's just a licence to print money."

"Thankfully that's one vice he's never picked up," I added a moment later.

"On the subject of vices," Susan eyed the bottle, "if we want to keep drinking we'll have to find a bottle shop because there's no way I'm taking out a second mortgage just for a bottle of restaurant wine."

"A bottle shop," I decided, "there's gotta be a supermarket around here somewhere."

"I know just the place," she flicked at her hair, "we'll grab ourselves something sweet as well."

Thinking back, it seemed very innocent in a grown up sort of way. She might have been older than me but she could come across as playful and I was also feeling as if I'd been able to let my hair down for the first time in years. I did that literally in her room about half an hour later when I undid the hair tie and let my hair fall down over my shoulders.

"That's the spirit," she raised her glass in salute, "I had hair that long ten years ago and then I got it cut short to make a statement and it's been that way ever since."

"What statement was that?"

"My sister had cancer and when they shaved her head during the chemotherapy I saw the effect it had on her and so I had my hair cut short and donated it to a charity that makes wigs for patients with cancer. It's been that way ever since, I grow my hair long enough to cut and then get it cut short and do it all over again."

"Oh," I ran a hand through my hair, "that's really, sweet and your sister?"

"She went into remission for a few years but then it came back and they gave her six months. It was a choice of waiting it out or living it up, I took her on a two month trip to Europe and America," she eyed her glass.

"It was worth every cent I spent on her, I was a bitch to her when we were kids but then you grow up and the shitty little things you did to each other seem to iron themselves out. There isn't a day goes past I don't think of her in some small way and every time I get my hair cut I save a lock and leave it on her gravestone."

She shifted in her seat.

"Sorry, I was taking you back here to let your hair down and put your feet up, I don't know why I came out with all that."

"I'm glad you did," I replied, "it's your way of letting your hair down. I'm afraid I don't have any stories like that, I just befriended a girl in school who'd come out. About the only heroic thing I did that afternoon was shove the school bitch onto the nature strip."

"Well that's heroic and it's not like it's a competition. Me, I've never had to resort to violence touch wood but then again I went to private schools and was kind of insulated that way."

"Me too, sort of," I fiddled with my cuff, "she and I are best friends, I was her bridesmaid when she tied the knot with her girlfriend."

"Awesome," she raised her glass, "so it had a happy ending."

"For her at least, I just wish my husband was a little more flexible. I'm always looking at him and thinking why can't you be more like, like," I stared past her.

"Like her?"

"Precisely," I took another mouthful of wine, "and while I'd never come between Amanda and Freda, there's a part of me that wonders how it would have panned out if I'd gone out with her instead of guys."

"Statistically speaking it'd end in divorce eventually, I read about it in one of those women's magazines a few years ago when I was waiting to see the doctor about my test results. They do work out but the couples who it worked for were in their seventies and eighties. The writer hinted that it had a lot to do with evolving societies, people were more likely to see marriage as a once in a lifetime thing. Until death do us part was a real thing but these days we promise to love until we decide to stop loving, as shitty as it sounds."

"My vows had until death do you part."

"Yeah but in real life? What if you fly home in a couple of days to find police tapes around the house and your husband in jail for murder? Would you still stay married if he was a serial killer?"

"John a serial killer?" I winced, "God, he'd have a hard time being a serial killer, I find it hard to have an argument with him because he always backs down."

"Even so, what if?"

"Well, I'd reconsider it then."

"So, it's not until death do you part, it's until you can no longer stand being together."

I got what she said and at the time I agreed but it wasn't until years later when I finally ended my marriage that those words came back to me in an instant. It summed up years of marriage in one simple sentence but back then, as pissed off as I was at John I wasn't about to leave him and as God is my witness I never intended to cheat on him.

So, why did I sleep with Susan that night?

I've asked that question countless times over the years and come up with many variations of the same answer. I was lonely and I needed to connect with another human being even if it was just a one night stand. Prior to that night I did regard cheating as the ultimate betrayal but having gone through it myself, more than once I can honestly say that it's more complicated than that. Granted there are serial love rats who just can't settle for one person, they're like bees flitting from flower to flower. But for many others there are mitigating factors that might not let the guilty partner off the hook completely but it helps to take that into account as well.

I'm not joking though when I say it started with a kiss. Seriously, she kissed me at the door when I was about to leave. It was one of those impromptu moments and because I was a little tipsy I just turned at the right time so that instead of kissing my cheek she kissed my lips. The suddenness of the movement did startle her because she pulled back in hesitation and before she could move back any further or say anything I kissed her again. My kiss was not like hers though, it was more erotic and definitely sent out the signal that the gate was open, my hand was on the doorknob and the door was open a little. Her eyes shifted ever so slightly and she looked at my hand. I hesitated for a few seconds.

"In case you're wondering, this is just one night. I'm not leaving my husband for anyone."

"I wasn't going to suggest that at all."

I reached out to grab her collar tie, pulled her closer and released the doorknob, I hooked my other hand around her neck and tilted my head to meet her lips in a long and drawn out kiss that left her in no doubt where this was heading. I heard the click of the door latch as the combined weight of our bodies against the door closed it. I worked my hand up to the knot of her tie and I hooked my finger and thumb around the knot. Susan reciprocated with my tie as our kiss intensified, I was pushing hard against her but not trying to disrobe her, it was just nice to stand there with my back to the door and let her go to work on me.

I felt my tie coming loose as our lips parted briefly before meeting again in another kiss, and by the time we finally parted my tie was undone and she had the ends firmly in her hands. We stared into each others eyes, I tried to think of something to say but my mind had gone blank and then her lips descended on my throat with soft angel kisses that set my pulse racing, it was only then I saw John's face in my mind's eye and it was only with a superhuman effort that I was able to push it out of my mind as I undid my top button. Her eyes shifted as she slid the tie back and forth against my neck, she seemed to be considering her options or maybe she was just savouring the moment.

I fiddled with the knot in her tie but couldn't manage to undo it and so I let go of it and dropped my hands to her buttocks. I felt her wince as I grabbed them through the leather skirt and she moaned as she returned to my mouth. My mouth was forced open for a long passionate kiss that almost made me pass out and when she finally left my lips my breathing had turned shallower and I had the all too familiar signs of arousal, hardening nipples, wetness and the need to be touched all over, which is precisely what she did to me.

Susan felt my breasts and I went with her hands, feeling my breasts move under her hands and then she moved down to my buttocks and I whimpered when she moulded them beneath her hands and then she drew a finger down my fly to my perineum. I bit my lip as she found it and wrapped my arms around her and grabbed her shoulders. My breathing was coming in short, sharp gasps as she manipulated that part of me with her fingernails. I pushed hard against her and she took a step back and grabbing my tie, she took a step back, putting some distance between us. I followed her as she kept hold of my tie, sliding it back and forth all the time until we reached the bed and then she threw herself backwards and landed on her back, taking the tie with her.

She bounced on the mattress and stared up at me with a mischievous look as she played with my tie, I just stood there at the edge of the bed with the sure knowledge that I was at the crossroads yet again. I could pour cold water and walk out without shedding an article of clothing and find a way to explain my social faux pas. Susan propped on her elbows and lifted her foot to press against the top of my left leg and then she slowly moved it so that the toe was pressing against my pussy, not enough to cause discomfort but I grabbed her foot and kept it there as I leaned against it.