All Comments on 'Pick You Up'

by UltimateSin

Sort by:
  • 37 Comments
AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

A really good story. Thoroughly enjoyable with just the right amount of kleenex at the end.

BruceS1949BruceS19494 months ago

What a wonderful story.

JimDiamondJimDiamond5 months ago

Great story. Gave it a five. Only one real problem. NEVER, EVER fire a black shell from a real firearm into someone. It WILL kill them. Especially if fired into the head. Not just burn hair and scalp! Unfortunately, movies have made people think it is safe. One Hollywood actor actually blew his brains out with a blank in a pistol when playing around and thinking it would only make noise. If he had actually fired that blank into the creatures head it would have blown up.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

That opening reminiscing scene, christ, that's haunting stuff. Hard to believe people can do that to people they supposedly care about. To beat a women to within an inch of her life, and then abuse your own children... I'm surprised he let that monster live. No wonder he quit. Seeing stuff like that is just too much for most men.

Honestly he shouldn't have let that scumbag live at the end. His next victim certainly won't thank him for it (and yes there will almost certainly be one with people like this because people like him cannot change their nature). He should have just ended the problem permanently right there. But you can't do that - that's murder! Yes, it is. You can label it however you wish. But sometimes a choice has to be made whether to let an uncaring monster like that live and risk potentially harming god knows how many people, or just do the sensible thing and end it. I know which choice I would make and I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

"We'd long agreed that we'd try anything except introducing other people. We loved each other far too much to even contemplate doing such a thing." This right here is something so many authors should bear in mind when writing any kind of romance story, especially the incest-based ones as the connection in those is often far deeper and thus makes even less sense when sharing happens.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

The point is marking justice yourself is not good but this is true this kind of situation is hard to deal with. This story will certainly help many ladies that have met bad guys. There is hope. Just need to see it when in the darkness.

Ravey19Ravey19about 1 year ago

Maybe a couple of little plot glitches but overall totally enjoyable.

Diecast1Diecast1over 1 year ago

What a great, great story. Love it. AAAAAA++++++

1948Boomer84911948Boomer8491over 1 year ago

Fantastic story, anticipated the confrontation with Jack and happily, he wasn’t killed. But, discharging a blank shell near the back of the head would result in burnt hair and burnt and broken scalp at a minimum. The force could knock a person unconscious and even cause a concussion. At worst it could cause death even though there is no bullet. The force of the blast certainly would knock the person down or as you wrote, into the grave but the result most likely would have prevented Jack from carrying on a conversation or spend three days hiking back to civilization.

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbimanover 1 year ago

heart warming story but several plot errors not really worth mentioning. thanks for writing this

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

They're not clips, they're magazines. Great story otherwise.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Like Overcritical said, good heart-warming story. But definitely do not use blanks in the way Mark did. They are still very dangerous.

OvercriticalOvercriticalover 1 year ago

Certainly a very schmaltzy story with nothing but good things happening. I must disclose a huge mistake that the author made although I'm sure almost no one caught it. Blank shells do not have a metal bullet or slug on the projectile end of the round. But they do have a paper wad to hold in the powder and if the "blank" is held anywhere near a person when the shot is fired the paper wad is shot out at very high speed for a short distance. If Mark had held the gun at the head of the villain and fired it he would have inflicted serious injury even though he was firing blanks. Still a heart-worming 5*

francemanfrancemanover 1 year ago

very nice story with a very difficult subject and more common than we think.

5⭐

Thanks for sharing your story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Her ex-husband is very like that he didn’t meet up with an Eastern Brown snake as he was tracking out of the outback!

Southpaw1430Southpaw1430almost 2 years ago

Excellent! I love happy endings. Thanks.

SouthernCrossfireSouthernCrossfirealmost 2 years ago

Very good story with a serious take on domestic violence and the damage it can do. One possible loose end was whether she got a divorce from the thug before remarrying but I may have missed that. Otherwise, very well told and nicely tied up with a great big bow. Great job, 5*.

whacky76whacky76almost 2 years ago

I loved the story but I have to mention that there were some simple errors that could have been corrected by an editor. Two I remember, the word news missing the "s". Misgendered her instead of his. There were more problems but I no longer keep track of everything I find unless I am correcting the problems. You are an excellent writer but even professional authors use an entire team of proofreaders. Five stars.

Bronco56Bronco56almost 2 years ago

Great story

Loved that it was a romantic living wife story

It's nice to read that kind of story. Thanks 5stars

Cali_LoveCali_Lovealmost 2 years ago

I started to read when it came out, then had to stop, early even. The subject matter bringing uncomfortable emotions for me. Then I picked it up again from the beginning and am glad I did. I only read from the romance category, and think you made the right choice. Great closure too, that's always important for a good read. Thanks.

linnearlinnearalmost 2 years ago

Amazing storytelling as always.

ThefirefliesThefirefliesalmost 2 years ago

Well done with the story writing and taking on a difficult subject. I understand what you meant in your intro about hesitating to call the story ‘fantasy’, however, because it’s natural to try and defend a loved one against any threat, it’s probably equally natural for most to imagine or fantasise about enacting revenge on someone who threatens and/or hurts a loved one. 5 stars.

ArdieffArdieffalmost 2 years ago

Sweet and touching.

goodshoes2goodshoes2almost 2 years ago

As usual, perfect. Thanks.

dwoelfledwoelflealmost 2 years ago

Good one, with nice handling.

oldpantythiefoldpantythiefalmost 2 years ago

Couldn't have asked for a better story with a happy ending. Sorry I can only give five stars for such a touching story of love and relationships. Had me smiling when Mike reported what he had heard on the news. Thanks.

JusteenKJusteenKalmost 2 years ago

You really do write the sweetest love stories. 💋

alexetlaurealexetlaurealmost 2 years ago

Loved it, great story 5 stars

obscure72obscure72almost 2 years ago

Great feel good story...thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Love your Romances, this was well done again. Look forward to whatever is coming up next. 5*

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Wonderful story. Good and believable characters. Just the right amount of loving sex. Mark’s leading Caroline to emotional recovery was very well done. Sometimes I wish I were as patient and understanding in real life as the fictional character Mark was. I generally enjoy stories set in Australia because the authors who I assume to be Australian, tell warm, realistic stories about characters I can relate to in a positive way.

LudvigBlomSELudvigBlomSEalmost 2 years ago

THANKS!! What a lovely love story and with a complete full ending too! So many others skip the last page that fully rounds off the story. Credit to you. Keep on writing please!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

very true ,I have seen D/V over the years, never an easy way out unless help is forthcoming, from the right people.

roetilicaroetilicaalmost 2 years ago

Nice to see another long-form story from you. Reminds me of your earlier work, which got you a follow.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
userUltimateSin@UltimateSin
Been over six months since I've updated this and thought I should let people know what I'm up to. Stories to come: Abyss. Single chapter. Incest. Apex. Multiple chapters. Multiple categories (starting in Incest). CURRENTLY WRITING AND MAIN FOCUS FOR NOW. Blind Date. Multip...