Pincushion Pam

(Bill and Pam are having a *discussion* about the state of their marriage.)

Pam screamed at her husband, Bill. "WHAT? You're fucking my sister?"

"Yup, I am. Have been for several years."

"YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH."

Bill retorted: "JUST A GODDAM MINUTE. I know you've been fucking Ralph down the block for years - even before we got married."

"That's different." Pam said

"Really?" Bill replied "That's different HOW?"

Pam stuttered "Ah, well, I've known Ralph for a long time. Since High School . . . "

"OF COURSE, that explains everything." he said. "I knew Cindy in High School."

"THAT'S BULLSHIT." she screamed at him again.

"That's true and you know it. But since Cindy is a year older than me, she wouldn't date me in High School. That wasn't done in High School back then. You know that. Senior girls didn't go with sophomores or juniors. I also know that you lied about being a virgin when we got married. And I know that Ralphie wasn't the first or even the second guy you spread your legs for.

"THAT'S A GODDAM LIE. Where did you get that idea? Who told you that?"

"Well, 'Pam-the-Pincushion,' you remember a guy named Sam Babcock?" Bill said.

"OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO. Pam the Pincushion - I hated that name." "How the hell do you know about Sam Babcock? He's just a nice memory . . . "

Bill replied "Sam said you enjoyed being 'a pincushion.'"

"OK. OK." "You know I love fucking. Back then I fucked any boy I thought was cute." said Pam

He laughed at her "Any boy with a hard-on you mean. Like the whole Washington HS football team, coaches and all?"

"OH MY GOD!" she exclaimed "You knew about that too?"

"Must have been quite an incentive for the team to win on Friday nights." Bill replied.

"STOP IT. I'm so embarrassed." Pam wailed. "How do you know Sam Babcock?"

Bill hollered back at her "You're embarrassed? How the hell do you think I feel?"

He continued: "Sam is one of the designers in my assembly division. We hired him a couple of years ago. We were just BS'ing one day, and he found out that I'd been at Washington. At some point, I mentioned that my wife, Pam, was also at Washington."

"He said he was a tackle on the football team, and remembered some slut they called 'Pincushion Pam' who did the whole goddam team, including the coaches."

"WHAT?" He called me a slut?"

"Yeah. Sounds like you were a slut." Bill said. "Also sounds like you are still a slut."

Pam sighed "All right. You know I love to fuck." "Sam was a VERY GOOD cocksman. But he was a senior, then he went away to college and I lost track of him. That's when I hooked up with Ralph."

"And you've been fucking Ralph ever since?"

"Ah, well, I guess so."

"You guess so?" Bill said questioningly.

"ALL RIGHT. YES. EVER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL." "DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. WHEN DID YOU START FUCKING MY SISTER?"

Bill thought for a moment. "Oh, it's been three, maybe four years now."

"FOUR YEARS? You've been fucking Cindy for four years?" "Why?" "My own sister?"

"You might recall that about then you decided that you didn't want anything to do with me, especially in bed. Some crap that I didn't *satisfy* you anymore." "It was right about time you took that first business trip to Denver." "Ain't that about the time you started up with Mark?"

"You know about Mark? I didn't think that anybody knew that I was . . ."

"That you were fucking him, too?

"Yeah, we did fuck a few times."

"A few times, huh?" "But you saw him every time you 'had to' go to Denver?"

"Well, ah, I had him eat me. He's one hell of a carpet muncher."

"So, all along you're fucking Ralphie, and at the same time you were fucking some other guy?" "And you wouldn't have anything to do with me? I'm your husband, Pam. Give me a break. I'm not that stupid."

Pam sighed, "He gave me the best head I ever had."

"So 'Denver Markie' gave you the best head you've ever had?" Bill said incredulously. "You never let me give you head." "You said that 'oral sex is disgusting' and it was 'perverted'. That why you wouldn't suck my cock? Is that disgusting and perverted too?

"Well . . . "

"STOP." Bill said. "Cut the crap, Pam" "Why did you blow that guy in Omaha? What's his name - Charlie?" "What about that Pam? Huh? Fellatio isn't perverted in Nebraska?"

"O my god." she shrieked. "How did you find out about Charlie?"

"Give me a break, Pam." he said. "I know you always found an excuse to be in Omaha. Bad weather in Denver caused a delay. Mechanical trouble getting out caused a delay. The plane had a flat tire in Dallas. You sure had trouble with airline flights, Pam. Maybe you should start driving to those places?"

"I am so sorry . . . " she sobbed.

"Yeah, I'm sure you are."

"I can explain."

Bill sneered at her. "You can explain? OK Pam. Explain all this to me: You fuck a guy behind my back for what, 20 years? You hook up with a guy in Denver mainly to have him eat your cunt, but you won't allow me, your husband, to do that because it's perverted. You suck Omaha Charlie's cock, but you won't give me a blowjob?"

"Explain that to me Pam. And while you're at it, how about explaining Jimmy in San Diego, Freddy in Los Angeles, and Alex in Seattle. You're like a goddam sailor with a cock in every port." "A lot of damn nerve to bitch because I'm fucking your sister. This had better be good, Pam. Better be damn good."

[Pam starts to cry]

"I'm sorry, Bill. I really am." she sniffled. "But I would get so horny and lonely when I was travelling. I needed relief. I would see good looking guys in the branch offices in those towns and I couldn't resist."

"Couldn't you find a good vibrator, Pam?" "I got lonely and horny too, but I'd jack-off or look at some porn. I didn't go prowling around for some other pussy." "Didn't you think I'd find out? People talk, Pam. You have a bad reputation. They call you the company's travelling whore."

"But - "

"Save it Pam. I don't want to hear it. You're full of crap and I've had enough."

"You want to know why I started fucking Cindy? Here's why: after Steve died, Cindy was alone. She never went out, never dated. She just went to work and then back home. Work. Home. That's all she did."

"One night when you were 'out of town,' I called her and convinced her that we should go out to eat somewhere. I was really concerned about her; she is my wife's sister."

"I finally got her to break out of her shell, and we would have dinner frequently. She started to open up, and we were enjoying our 'dinner dates.' That's all it was, Pam. A guy and his widowed sister-in-law having something to eat when his wife, her sister, was out of town."

"After a while, she started talking about Steve, and how much she missed him."

"I tried to comfort her, and we became closer. One night she asked me to take her to bed and make love to her - she missed the intimacy she and Steve had."

"She also knew that you were cattin' around when you were out of town, Pam, and was really pissed at you. She knew about Ralphie, and started telling me all about your *business trips.*"

Bill continued: "I loved you Pam, I really did. But you kept pushing me away."

"I tried to figure out what I had done wrong, why you always seemed to be mad at me. Then I started finding out about all of your *friends.*"

"You humiliated me, Pam. I kept hearing snide remarks: 'There goes Bill, he's Pam's cuck.' 'Wonder if Pam makes Bill watch when she's fucking her boyfriends?' 'You think Bill knows what a good cocksucker his wife is?'"

"Cindy knew about your extra-marital activities. She knew, and she was pissed at YOU." "She felt bad the way you were treating me. She was comforting ME." "You killed my love for you, Pam."

"Cindy and I fell in love, and that's where it stands, Pam. That's why I'm fucking your sister."

"I will give you your freedom. I have commenced divorce proceedings. I don't want anything. I just want to get away from you."

"I'm filing for divorce listing the reason as 'irreconcilable differences.' You will be served at your office at 9:00 AM tomorrow morning. Everything will be split 50-50, and the house will be sold. If you want to keep it, you will have to buy my 'half' of the appraised value." "I'm mostly moved out of the house."

"Another thing, Pam. Lynne McKenna is my lawyer, and she detests cheaters. If you fight me on the divorce, the terms will be changed to adultery and SHE WILL DESTROY YOU."

"I have video and audio tapes of you. I have hundreds of pictures of you and all of your 'boyfriends,' including Ralphie."

"Just sign the papers, and you'll never have to see me again."

Pam sputtered: "Wha, what, where will you go? Where will you live?"

"Jesus-h-Christ, Pam. Are you that damn stupid?"

"Where do you think I'm living? If you can't figure that out, ask Cindy."

"By the way, Cindy says that I really 'satisfy' her, and that I eat her pretty good. She also told me that I am only the second man she's ever fucked."

"Think about that, Pam."

"Good bye, Pam. Have a nice 'fucking' life."