All Comments on 'Pink Chiffon'

I loved this

It was beautifully written

Keep it up

Thank you. I am so glad you enjoyed it. It came from a sexy dream I had.

I'm not asking you to make a part 2 if you don't want to because tbh this had a perfect ending. Thanks for the great read!!!

Hope you make more stories.

Absolutely fantastic, no real need for a second chapter!, but if you write I'll eagerly read it.

much for me,thought it was to long,without really saying anything different from page 1 to page 4 and the ending was pretty much predictable but didn't really wrap things up to good.IE Did best mate get leslie,what did her husband do/say,what their parents friends thought,were they went what happened after the first night after they left etc etc

Nora, this is a good one. But one thing bothers me with your writing style (and it's nitpicking, I know). When you end a dialog, use a comma and do not capitalize the next word unless it's a person's name.

Example:

"I love you too." She whispered before disconnecting.

It should be:

"I love you, too," she whispered before disconnecting.

Thanks.

Well written up to a point, but too many ends left dangling. Very sad for Leslie, though marriage to Corbin would have been a disaster, ultimately. Maybe Matt would really be a better choice. Was the baby actually fine? I hope so. How did Georgia's and Corbin's family take the pregnancy, and their togetherness? Please finish.

I like this story,even thought it is a work of fiction,it descibes perfectly how love is not always fair.Even though they are twins,society will condemn them to hell for their sin,however,what is more sinful,being stuck in an abusive ,non loving relationship with a man she does not love and a brother who knows he will be in a relationship were he cannot love the girl he is about to marry and knows that he would not be abusive to her physically,but the abuse would be emotional to her as she finds out that he cannot love her . That would be the worse sin than the incest.At least,the twins know their feelings for each other and it will be a love that is true to both and their happiness is the most important thing.Would like to see you continue with the aftermath of their running away and how the others react to what has happened.

Thank you for a good story and good luck to you.

The only addition I would make to the story is to stick it to her ex.

Narrative wise - it was very enjoyable although somewhat lacking. I'm one of those types who likes a detailed a long stories. I'd have liked to know how their family and Kurt coped. Sexually, I think you nailed it, and their love making felt arousing both romantically and sexually. I did have some issues with the sexual scene at the start, which was very arousing but surreal. Georgia presented symptoms of a battered women, and there was no explanation to that at any time.

Grammatically, as commented before, you would probably want to go over a few basic rules like when to put a comma and when not to. Never put a comma before "that" or before conjunctions that have no subject in the following sentence. But don't worry about that. I just finished writing a story and had no clue about all of that before. For proper dialogue structure check out this helpful resources: http://theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/punctuation-in-dialogue/

Overall, great job. Keep it coming.

Finally some one has taking brother/sister love back to it's roots. Anybody can have a couple of family members fool around and never say anything ever again but, to have them fall in in love and what more than to have a child now that's taboo. When you love someone one enough to stand by there side and take on the world now that's true love. Mother, brother, sister, it doesn't matter if you truly love them. Tell everyone else to take a flying leap and go make some babies!!! Please write more of these kind of stories because this is what the incest genre has been missing!!!

...sorry, ...i couldnt make it past the first quarter of page one. Why the hell doesn't she cut the losers dick off, slit his throat then shove his dick up his ass, followed by the knife? Hell I know I want to kill the loser and I'm a guy, not his wife. Why would she have stuck around this fucktard past day one of the marriage? Fuck that! I didnt grade it since I cant bare to read it, sorry :(

This story has an excellent theme and overall context. It is thoroughly romance and true love, personified. These siblings have been connected from when they were just a gleam in their father's eye, through to living for nine months in a single egg in their mother's womb! Since birth their and during the next twenty-five years they have comingled their physic and mental processes, their likes and dislikes, "reading" each other's thoughts and hurts and joys! These young adult siblings could not have been any more suited for each other than any person's left and right eyes.

The travesty of Georgia's failed marriage, from the beginning five years before, is part of ones' life's lessons, in that relationships and marriage never runs smoothly nor on an even keel. There are hazards in every relationship and every marriage. Overcoming those unforeseens is what makes for stronger relations and marital unions. Corbin and Georgia have see the doom and gloom of their lifelong togetherness, and they have reached the ultimate conclusion that their eternity will be more fruitful and blessed together than apart. Their lives so far with others has been utterly and continually miserable, because they have been apart without one another!!

Their realize and accept their relationship will be worth the many risks and sacrifices they will endure, as they face headon and overcome with passion and the love of their own growing family and their children. Their parents being like most all parents care only for the lifetime of joy, comfort and blessings their offspring will attain during the lives. The fact and acceptance of Corbin and Georgia's life committments will be very hard for their mother and father, but their parents will eventually see the gravity and strength, and the determination of their love and will come to accept the children's decisions to emmulate husband and wife, mother and father, as lovers and as parents! XXNoraJeanXX has penned an excellent story--though she confesses it originated from a dream she had--and in the fictional world, and in many cases, reality, her story is unique in it's romance and tenderness, turmoils and joys, and the message that a brother and sister can realistically be IN LOVE and endure life's hazards and accomplishments with each other, as can any family willing to make the sacrifices and overcome the risks.

Great storytelling with the details and backstory! I'm glad you didn't delve in Leslie's heart getting broken by Corbin. I love how Georgia finally left that idiot Kurt--he was written as asphyxiating and he felt that way on the page too. The turmoil with the twins was palpable and real. I could continue praising many more parts, but one area you really fell down on was Corbin's orgasm--it always felt rushed with little or no detail (although Georgia's was described exquisitely). Reflect his feelings before and during cumming and you'll knock it out of the park! :)

great loving and hot story

I've read a few incest stories, but this one blows it out on the ballpark. I'm stunned. I was particularly taken with how well you described Kurt and Leslie; they were good characters even if only supporting ones. It's amazing, I could really relate to the "loveless relationship" that Georgia felt, haha. Even if it was tragic, I believe it was realistic and oh so accurate!! I felt like my own feelings (on being in a loveless relationship) were being penned eloquently... Without me ever saying a word! I feel like you/Georgia would definitely understand me.

It's also why I was against Leslie and Corbin's marriage, because no matter what general society thinks, most don't know shit about how ugly such a union could be. I loved that Matt was in love with Leslie, and how he expressed himself. Simple but very funny, had me laughing :)

And finally the union between the siblings.. Very hot. Again, it's hard for me to enjoy incest stories, but this was captivating - made it feel like they were genuinely in love and just star crossed lovers. Not "one took advantage of the other".

Great story, talented author :) thanks for sharing it here on literotica.

Make a peat two to finish all the loose ends. Like, how is the baby, what happened to Leslie and Matt, does Kurt end up being gay? Part 2 please.

Considering that you made this a real story, with real people and real emotions, instead of porn, you should consider having a second pair of eyes go over it. Not just the lacking commas in dialogues, but also grammatical cases in pronouns, a "they're" that should have been "their", and some other minor things. It would take the story a couple of notches up. Especially in the last 20% to 25% the grammar suffers, like you were tired or something.

Maybe the best incest story I've ever read (though there are maybe 4 or 5 on Literotica that stand up well in comparison!). As one trapped in a largely loveless marriage, my heart bled for both Georgia and Corbin. (I've tried like a son of a gun for years to induce love, but . . . ) I think a lot of people can identify with that situation. But most of us just kind of suck it up and keep soldiering on, always regretful, always wistful, but always true to the terrible decisions we made when we married. These two decided to cut their losses and follow their hearts. Although it's not the path I/we chose, I love the story!

Absolutely the best brother/sister incest erotica I have ever read. Thus was a good change of pace for me as I usually enjoy Daddy/Daughter stories.

I almost stopped reading it when you described her dreadful marriage. That's also a testament to how well you packed two paragraphs about her cruel husband. As for the twins, I loved their story. It was so real. They earned the heck out of their happy ending.

A solid 5 Stars. I hope there is a continuation to this.

TBC

I don't usually review stories that are adult in nature, I lurk, but this was such a sweet story... I had to. It made my heart ache & soar. You played with my emotions well.

Your writing is very professional & well done, & like some other users, I definitely hated Kurt. That part was tough to get through, not because of the writing, but because my heart really hurt for Georgia. I'm so glad they got their happy ending. & part of me is very glad that in the epilogue there weren't really details of what they left behind. I don't think they (Georgia & Corbin) needed that.

There aren't enough nice things to say about this piece.

Great story, but I'm not sure you used that word correctly.

The baby and, their tormented lovers story. God pulled my heart strings! I'm so happy for them!

Author you painted the main characters as dumber than mud. Neither should be allowed to walk around unsupervised...

What a sweet loving twin sibling love story. well done 5 stars

Man that was depressing. They should have just been together all along without the bullshit in between. Of course it was chalked up to a miscarriage and all the arbitrary emotional baggage that goes with it, according to all the stories on here at least. Thin plot point but whatever. It's funny how she can tell Corbin to fuck off but can't say shit to the abusive asshole she's married to. But I guess we're just meant to ignore that.

That doctor though. I wonder if they teach you to be a judgemental prick in med school or if he's just like that naturally. Some people...

Anyway, wasn't a fan of the miscarriage plot. I don't buy that things would have went down the way they did because of that. I mean they're all lovey-dovey but then she suddenly cuts him off then quickly out of nowhere finds some random guy to marry and endures abuse for years. Come on really, that's the best you can come up with? They better hope she doesn't have another one or she might dump him and get married to some other asshole for a few years until she comes out of her funk. I know it sounds stupid right, yet this is what some authors consider a plot worthy to write a story around. :(