Pizza Dazzle 01

Pizza Dazzle 01

[Present day]

"Dazzle, just so it's clear to me, are we just chit chatting here or are we talking, huh?"

"Oh, Josh, we're just chit chatting here. I mean, if we were talking here, then I would mention to you that your mustache growth really suits you and it should even be better in a month when you get the thickness just how you want it, but I'm not saying that because we're just chit chatting. Also, if we were talking, then I might be inclined to call you out for getting a boner for me while you watched me half change into my work uniform, so?"

[Blink, blink, weird stare down, blink, blink]

"Okay, tee he, since we're just chit chatting here, I mean, those grey shorts things are hot, but they seem to end up getting buried and this is just chit chat, so I'm not saying much, so?"

"Oh, I like them too, Josh. They may not be the best high waisted athletic performance spandex shorts on the market, but the color is good for me and the white crisscross side seam stretchy straps, right? I praise any and all women who can wear them and only them even just for the way the seam straps are so highlighted. Also, you were a naughty boy for watching that part, Josh, you know, since we're just chit chatting here and all, so?

"Hey, Dazzle, I'm smart enough to know that there is still something else under them, tee he, right? And I mean deep underneath because I'm also smart enough to know that you slipped on, er, other stretchy pants, so, tee he, Dazzle, can you even breathe? And if you stop breathing, do I have your permission to administer mouth to mouth, tee he?"

[Tap, tap, tap, Dazzle updates something on his tablet]

"Josh, any day that you have it in you to administer mouth on mouth session with me without withering away, I mean, bring it or watch what you ask for, that's all."

I could so get involved in a make out session with Josh. Not much more because we're old friends, but a session on couch? Yep, I could that, but trust me, he would wither and cry about something before we went to far. And maybe "wither" wasn't the best choice of words from my side since, tee he, since I meant he would droop, wilt and shrivel up because I dream about mouth to mouth and mouth to mouth should always end up in a high level of nakedness!

Anyways, that was just a quick recap of a recent conversation between my friend, my naughty friend, Josh and I only included it in my story so you could judge my attitude. I mean, I handled things calmly and cooly and with respect, right?

And maybe I wanted to describe my absolute favorite spandex yoga shorts, since they are so absolutely perfect for me and on me.

So, I'm Donnie Devel and I go by the name of Dazzle and I'll be the first to admit that I was raised pretty much as a spoiled brat, but I don't think that should be held against me because as I just said, that's how I was raised and not what I chose. That's the way I remember it anyways.

And I would ask that you recognize that I have grown out of that mentality or at least recognize that I've come a long way since those days. And if it helps, we can talk about how I have grown in other ways too, which is much more like shaping up with somewhat of a decent figure than growing up or growing out and since I have outgrown my spoiled brat attitude, I will be honest with you.

Anyways, since I've chilled out my attitude, I'm in a good place. I mean, thanks to the meds and the gym, my body is in a great place, even if it had a pretty good head start already. And I also feel that I'm in a good place with my lengthy dark hair and my improved and very outgoing expressional attitude and then there is the good place that I'm in with my facial schemes and themes. Which are pretty much just most shades of red these days, but back in the day, way back in the day, my nickname of Dazzle came from picture day when I showed up with sassy (bratty) white blonde hair, eye jewels and white sparkly eyelashes.

Um, maybe I should have said that as (sassy) bratty white blonde hair, but either way, I'm in a good place these days.

So, my story starts with my attempt to keep myself busy on the weekends, which also doubles up with my attempt to meet more people, you know, now that I've chilled out a bit.

And I guess I'll start when I decided to apply for a part time job to keep myself busy, which was just a couple of months ago.

[About two months ago]

"Thanks for the ride, Dean, I really appreciate it and I hope my job interview goes well, right?"

"Job interview? I thought I was giving you a ride to an early Rave party, Dazzle! Where are you going to work dressed like this? And we're only chit chatting and not talking, Dazzle, so, tee he, it doesn't count that I noticed how you're dressed since you're the one who asked for a ride, I mean, I'm right about that, right, Dazzle?"

"Oh, I called it as just chit chatting when you checked that my seams in the rear were straight before we left my house, Dean, especially since the Capri tights I'm wearing under my shorts don't have seams, I mean, tee he, right? Anyways, we are just 12th cousins and all, so I think it's all good since we're just chit chatting and if it makes you feel any better, I will chime in with how I might have a surprise for you after my job interview, so, no more chit chatting about that for now. I have to clear my mind for whatever questions I will have to answer in the interview, so, eyes front, Cuz and drive."

It's okay, folks, Dean and myself are as far removed as two people who live in Middleton can get and he's just a guy and guys like to look, right? I mean, look at me, I'm basically adorable, so.

"Pull in just to left and park anywhere, Dean and then, wait for me in your car and then jump respond to my text when it's over, okay?"

"Okay, Cuz, whatever you say, I'll sit here and research what it means to jump respond while you apply for a hostess job at the Rave party, I guess."

[12th Cuz Dean parks and kicks back to wait for the "interview over" text]

So, where to sit for a job interview is accomplished by just a finger pointing these days? Which should be noted on the official document that I followed to the letter. Well, I followed the fingernail, I guess and took a seat.

Oh, and since people love me now since I've chilled out my attitude, this should be easy, right?

"Name? Not that it matters because I'm not hiring you."

"Donnie Devel, but everyone calls me Dazzle and people love me, so?"

"Current job? Not that is matters because I'm not hiring you, so?"

"Oh, I'm a spoiled brat Trap, but I'm growing out of that. I mean, the brat part, so?"

"Career ambitions? Not that it matters because I'm not hiring you."

"Oh, I'm transitioning whether I like or not because of the meds program that I'm on, so?"

"Are you crazy or half insane?"

"Oh, well, I just mentioned the estrogen program that I'm on, right? Half, put down half."

"Uniform size? Not that it matters because I'm not hiring you."

"I prefer two sizes too tight, but I'm pretty flexible, which also works in my favor. I'm a bit of a big deal at the gym, so? Wait, put down "I'm a hit" at the gym, that's my answer."

"Check, your expression size is two and you're flexible enough to bend over and grab your tippy toes and hold, which probably works the same for butt sex and blow jobs, check. Do you have reliable transportation, not that it matters because I'm not hiring you, Dazzle, so?"

"Oh, I have reliable transportation, I'm loyal, I'm good with numbers, my attitude is the best now and I know every street in Middleton, so?"

[The standard frustrated girl arm crossing and lean back]

"Hmph!"

"And might I say that more than half of the admiration that is bestowed upon you, Suzie, comes from your refusal to follow the inflated breasts implant trends and for how matching up your bra size to match up with your hips size isn't a big priority with you, which is most admirable, so?"

"Hmph!"

[Slides a small box across the Pizza Shop café table top]

"Hmph! Devel's Jewelry Store, huh? Do you think I can be bought off with [opens box] cheap, oops, oh, what the hell is this then, hmm?"

"Just a little something that my Uncle Ray, from Devel's Jewelry, put together just for hot goth girl like you, at my request, of course, Suzie, so?"

"Hmph! Are these stones real?"

Well, when your family is in the jewelry business for over forty years, I mean, various types and sizes of extra gemstones build up in containers, so it wasn't all that big of a deal. And Uncle Ray whipped it out in like three days, so. It was a bigger deal that Uncle Ray knew how to create such an eye-catching goth choker, right? Oh, and going back to picture day way back then, yep, my eye stones were real.

"Small gemstones, but they are real and in numbers, I mean, have you ever seen such a choker before with Black Star Sapphire gemstones for their durability and star shine luster, alternating with green Emeralds just for the prestige, peppered with Black Onyx stones to represent your courage and all highlighting a bright red Ruby in the middle before Suzie, hmm? And by the way, my cousin would love this choker on you, so?"

[Phone tap, tap, tap, whoop, be ready, text sent]

"Hmph! So, now you're bringing your own damn family into helping you get hired here at the Pizza Shop then, Dazzle? To me, that's just another reason why you're not getting hired! But since I'm curious, I mean, just who is your cousin then, Dazzle, huh?"

"Oh, Dean Demeanor! Double D Dean is my cousin, Suzie."

"Holy snap, Dean Demeanor has Devel family money and a pony cock? I mean, that's just something that I heard once at a party, so, I'll give you a two days trials, since you seem so sincere about all of this and since you seemed to be dressed, but not with my Jimmy J as your delivery partner, Dazzle, so, you can start next weekend when I find another suitable driver for you, okay?"

See, folks? I am a reformed spoiled brat, right? I held a good attitude through thick and thin, am I right about that, huh?

"Oh, I just decided that I don't want the job now, Suzie, so?"

"Oh, I mean, Dazzle, I already filled out the official interview form and by the way, Dazzle, it gets a little tight behind the sandwich counter and during our busy hours, I mean there is always some bumping and grinding going on, so?"

"Oh, I just thought that a weekend job would be a good way to keep myself busy since I've been such a spoiled brat for most of my life, so, I mean, maybe I'll check back with you next year, Suzie, so?"

"Oh, I mean, I suppose my Jimmy J could be your delivery partner to start you out, but there will be none of that "bathroom guard" stuff going on, not that I need to know what it's like to side kiss with Dean Demeanor or anything since I cut my precious Jimmy J off from sex so long ago, tee he, so?"

[Whoop, outgoing follow up "come inside now" text]

"Well, Suzie, I mean, does this position come with something else special, hmm? Special like me then, hmm? You know, like help with your wardrobe just before shift start, hmm?"

"Oh, so, you're just a little perv boy who hopes for a good alignment of things while making sure that that my averaged size bra is properly latch snapped in the back then, is that it, perv?"

[Pizza Shop door chime jingle, jangle]

"Cuz! Is your interview over?"

[Suzie's eyes light up and checks for proof of a pony cock and then, um, ends the interview with a neck collar grab, is that how job interviews work these days?]

"(I'll kill you if you squirt and moan from my butt if you push forward, Dazzle!)"

[Coughs from choke hold grab]

"Cuz! Come over and mix it up with Suzie then, Dean! We were just finishing up with my interview and my adoring attitude has probably worn Suzie out from all of our negotiations, so, anyways, you know Suzie, right, Cuz? She could use a breath of air I think."

[Suzie slips that choker on at record speed! Record speed!]

"Tee he, um, hey there, hey, Dean Demeanor! Let's chit chat over a smoke break out back in the alley..."

"Ahem (talk)."

"Oh, tee he (giddy face), yeah, Dean Demeanor, let's talk out back in the alley so I can tell you all about how much I absolutely love this sparkly gemstone goth choker that was made special for me from your distance family's jewelry store and how I can't wait to show it off tomorrow night at the underground party in the warehouse district (giddy still) and you're going to be there, right, Dean Demeanor? Oh, and as for you, Dazzle, I mean, you're on the clock, twerp, so grab a couple of those orders and get with it then! And be sure to get Jimmy J on the other side of town quick, tee he!"

Well, I thought there might be an employment piece of paper to sign and all, but I guess not.

[A faded thump, thump, ugh, thump, OMG, hump, pump, you're splitting me in half, thump]

"OMG, the building is shaking from an earthquake! Drop and roll everyone!"

"Ahem, Jimmy J, that's for when you're on fire. Anyways, hi there, Jimmy J, I'm Dazzle and I'm your new side seat delivery person."

"Whew, that was close. And quite the building shaking earthquake!"

"It's just a pony, um, a parade of those pony drawn carriages, so are we off and running then? That old guy, Sal, handed me all these containers of food to be delivered, so, are we off then?"

"Wow, that pony drawn carriage is stomping it deep! Like how I used to be with Suzie before she cut me off from sex over a year ago, oops, I mean, well, let's get with it then, Dazzle."

[Muffled and faded pounding, thump, slam, pump, that's the spot, lover, hump, OMG, slam]

"Then let's get after it then, Jimmy J!"

[Jimmy J gives Dazzle the once over and up and down review]

"Ahh, Dazzle, does Suzie know about this? She saw you, right?"

[Pound, thump, slam, pump, I'm there, pump, hump, OMG, slam, I'm O, O, O, O, O, O, O]

"Oh, oh, oh, I think Suzie knows everything she needs to know since she interviewed me, Jimmy J."

I mean, yep, it was a little like a pony powered earthquake.

[Fast forward about five minutes during their first delivery]

"Alright, Dazzle, this is the Kramer's residence. Mrs. Kramer is half sweet and half mean as snake venom and it's always questionable if and when her hubby answers the door, but they are good tippers. Also, I have no proof positive, but when Mrs. Kramer is in her half sweet mood, I think she's naked under her house robe, so, get with it and good luck."

[Ding, dong, ding, dong, door opens]

"Well, well, well, what do we have here then, sweetie, hmm? Did my faggot of a hubby file a complaint with the Pizza Shop management that things haven't been the same since that Brie Trap retired, hmm? Also, who are you then, hmm?"

"Oh, I'm Dazzle and what we have here is a Friday evening dinner for two and I have a tablet screen that says you owe me $29 plus tip, of course, and I suspect that you are and have been frustrated that there hasn't been any accidental opening of your house robe when Jimmy J delivers to you since Brie went into the Old Traps Home and I'm pretty sure that I know that half of time, the sweet half, you're not wearing any undies under your house robe, Mrs. Kramer, so?"

"Hmph! [Hands off $50] keep the change, Dazzle and what you should know is that my thighs are not in shape enough for any accidental opening of my house robe, so?"

[It was quick, but her index finger accidentally opened the front overlapping portion of her house robe]

in your dreams that you open the front door in the nude once of these days to pick up your delivery package and I'm here to remind you that with just a little proper planning and quick thinking, you can pull that off in less than three seconds, so?"

"Well, are you going to give me the food containers and then get on about your business then, Dazzle, hmm?"

[Blink, blink, there was no food container hand off just yet, blink, blink]

"Oh, sorry, Mrs. Kramer, I just got lost in my thoughts about how you would look shaven, but I guess if you want the job to fatten up your faggot hubby's cock on a lonely Friday night, then who am I to argue with that then, hmm?"

"Well, I never!"

"Oh, and I never thought that I would ever say out loud that Jimmy J is probably stroking off dry right now at the end of driveway because what I would want to say is that what he really needs a wet lawn sprinkler head, so?"

"Hmph! (I'll kill you if my hubby doesn't have a boner still when I return and a woman knows when her man is spent form a blow job!) Harold, take care of our dinner and keep it in the kitchen! I'm going outside to check on the lawn sprinkler system!"

Oh, snap! Mrs. Kramer meant that a woman knows immediately afterwards, right? I mean, in an hour, I mean, Suzie wouldn't know, right? Even though Jimmy J deserves his sexual relief.

Also, a front door that was left partially open after a horny housewife made a mad dash to the end of the driveway is the same as an invitation to enter the house, right? I mean, someone had to set the food containers down.

"Oh, now this is what I call a welcomed breaking and entering! Who are you and are you the dessert? And can I start with dessert first since the wife is outside with a lawn sprinkler head wrench, hmm?"

"Oh, I'm Dazzle and I delivered this food for you, which I will set down on the kitchen table [makes a gentle leaning movement] and I'm just beyond 20, I have this body, so I have a tendency to show it off a little bit, I'm an ex-brat, I like all human beings, but I find it fascinating how each gender reacts to sexual situations, like how a guy can go from a limp noodle to a hammer in two heartbeats, but my confession is that even though I practice a few things, I practice much more than I preach, Mr. Kramer, so?"

[Maintains the slight lean over the kitchen table while preaching]

"Well, hallelujah!"

[Dirty old Mr. Kramer approaches the presented alter]

"Ah-ahh, ah-ahh, ah-ahh, Mr. Kramer!"

[Dirty old Mr. Kramer must be hard of hearing. Boink!]

"Oops! Mr. Kramer!"

[Dirty old Mr. Kramer was hard, but not of hearing. Boink!]

"You're my kind of sex, Dazzle!"

[Dirty old Mr. Kramer's aim was spot on, which caused a quick spin around from the virgin, I mean, from Dazzle]

"[Peck kiss] you're sexing up your wife tonight, Mr. Kramer, right after she finishes off sucking the water out of the deprived sprinkler head just outside. I have more customers! (But your aim was perfect.)"

Well, it was. I guess.

"Ahem! Harold! I mean, Dazzle, get! (And thanks, Dazzle, Jimmy J's cock is amazing and oh boy, did he ever need a good sucking off! I mean, his lawn sprinkler head went off super quick!)"

See, folks? A nice chilled out attitude from my end, right?

"[Wheeze] next, um, er, ooh..."

"Shut it, Jimmy J and pretend to drive [tosses the cash], nothing happened on either side, so."

Guys, right? They are always out of breath when their juice is sucked out of the sprinkler! Well, so I have heard anyways. I've barely been sexually active in my life. Tee he, but guys, right? It's always all "wheeze, wheeze, wheeze" and stuff afterwards. Right?

"[Wheeze] alright then, Dazzle, this residence is the Milton's. Mr. Milton could care less about cheating and has something going on with the woman who works at the gas station and Mrs. Milton is a witch and drinks Mrs. Kramer's snake venom as a morning malted booster beverage. Also, sometimes I think Mrs. Milton is so pissed off because she can't off her hubby and get away with it, so."

Well, that's good to know, right?

[Knock, knock, knock, the front door flings open]

"It's about time! Are you the hit woman that I hired from the grey web to tee he, "visit" my faggot and cheating hubby?"

"Oh, sorry, Mrs. Milton, but I'm just Dazzle, your food delivery person and not a fake hit woman from the lightly shaded grey internet. But I am the person who has a tablet screen that says you owe me $42 plus tip, which I might add is a lot of food for one person since my driver and myself just passed the gas station where we spied your hubby's junky old truck parked at, so?"