All Comments on 'Planet of the Bimbos'

Please listen very closely to your teachers. Do your homework, and put effort unto it.

This was absolutely sad in the grammar, spelling, and vocabulary.dS

But your abuse of English made it almost unreadable. Get an editor!

The sex was okay, but I agree with the other commenters in that you need to improve your English. Some mistakes I found:

"They had run away from their hellish life with their abusive drunk father, having stolen the truck to get out of their as fast as possible." The "their" should be "there".

"And we will be the dads in the whole wide world, with the most beautiful wives that will make every man in the universe wish they were us!" I assume that you meant "And we will be the best dads",

"She said innocently as she fished out his pre-pubescent penis" This means that Thomas has the penis of someone who hasn't gone through puberty, i.e. a child.

"Drink out of the tits that only your and your heir will have the right to drink!" The first "your" should be "you".

One tip to minimise mistakes is to read your writing out loud, from start to finish. I find that this helps to pick out mistakes that aren't apparent when you read it in your head.

More please.

Good idea, but you need an editor, my friend.

Love the idea, love the story; yes you made mistakes, just correct them, get an editor and not pay attention to the people who say it in a rude or unkind way.

Love the story. AAAAAA++++++