Plans Change

Cam started to scream at me and hit me with a rolled-up newspaper, like one would do to an errant puppy... if they wanted to put the pup into a coma. Then he unrolled the paper and showed me the front page. It was the fucking National Enquirer, and right there on the cover was a photo of an obviously pregnant Catherine with a headline under it asking if she was going to be the mother of Bobby Lee's next child.

"I didn't do that!" I croaked as I spit blood. "I swear! Why the fuck would I want to out myself as a cuckold to the world. I make good money, and hopefully sometime in the future I hope to find a girlfriend who's not a slut!"

I didn't get hit after that, although I had closed my eyes in anticipation. I waited several seconds before opening them. I could see Cam pacing behind the vehicle.

"Goddamn that makes sense," he finally said. "Probably was one of those other fuckers in the band... maybe one of their girlfriends. I'll get someone on that. You guys take him to a near-by hospital. You make sure they send me the bill."

One of the goons ripped me out of the trunk and shoved me into the back seat of the car. I know I bled all over the leather seats as they drove me to the hospital and dropped me off. Nobody even had the decency to apologize. And, before anyone wonders, no, I didn't try to have Cam arrested. Like that actually would have worked in Boston.

Besides, Cam had troubles a lot worse than worrying about being arrested for assault. The press had six months of fun at Catherine's expense, treating her just like a Kim Kardashian wanna-be. I know that had to just about kill her mom, Twyla, who lived and died on being a Jefferson from Boston. I'm sure she made Cam's life a living hell for those six months. It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Catherine had moved back to Boston soon after the scandal hit the newspapers. She would wind up marrying and divorcing three times, and had four children from four different men, including the one that turned out to be Bobby Lee's.

I got over Catherine after about a year, but wasn't dating anybody regularly when one of the guys from the band left a People magazine opened to a photo of Bobby Lee and his latest conquest on my gear one Friday night before one of our shows.

The joke had grown very old, but guys are a different breed. We beat a joke to death before we give it up.

"Ha ha, guys, absolutely fuckin' hysterical. I'm holding my sides so I don't split apart I'm laughing so hard," I said as I grabbed the magazine with the intent to chuck it somewhere.

Just then I actually took a good look at the four photos in the story, not that I really cared that Bobby Lee was fucking a big-boobed former Playboy playmate. It was actually the third of the four photos on the page that attracted my eye: a photo of family man Bobby Lee with his new girlfriend and his mother, a big-boobed MILF if there ever was one. Holy shit! Bobby Lee's mother was a walking wet dream of a 50-something, with long blonde hair, big blue eyes and a body that any 40-something would be proud of, let alone a 50-something.

"Fuck me! The guy's mom is even hot," I whispered to no one in particular.

I stuffed the magazine in my bag. I'm pretty sure I had the same grin on my face that the Grinch did after he stole all the toys in Whoville.

I spent the next month doing some research on Bobby Lee... well, actually, his family, who it turned out, lived in Columbus, OH.

"Moms" Lee, whose real name turned out to be Laura Nostrand, was long-ago divorced from "Pops" Lee, whose name was Karl Nostrand. Seems the pair were married for 20 years before they split due to Bobby Lee's dad trying to be the man-whore his son was.

It was easy to see by looking at the various photos of Laura Nostrand that she knew she was still hot at 52. Her dresses and skirts were a few inches shorter than your basic soccer mom's, and she certainly wasn't shy about showing off the wonderful cleavage that God gave her. The more I looked at those photos, the more I had to admit that, yeah, I'd do her... and then it came to me, like a backhand across the face.

The guys in the band as well as my co-workers were sorry to see me transferred to the Columbus, OH, office. I pretended I was sorry, too, but in reality I was feeling pretty good about things. I got a healthy raise to take the promotion... and two months later, I had a date set up with Laura Nostrand... yes, that Laura Nostrand.

Ostensibly, my meeting Laura was complete happenstance. She and her best friend, Sue Jacoby, were out for drinks at a local hotspot where she was a known quantity, being the mother of Bobby Lee. I knew from my research that she was going to show up at least one of the weekend nights. She and her friend showed up at about 8, and 30 minutes later I sent drinks over to their table. They acknowledged me with a nod, but I held my spot at the bar until Laura finally got up and came over to me.

"You are either the cheekiest guy in the world or your vision might need some tweaking," she said in a voice that dripped sex. "We are both old enough to be your mother..."

"Yeah... but if my mom ever looked like you two... I'd be in a world of trouble," I said as sincerely as I could muster.

"Oh, please!" she laughed. "You are the cheekiest bastard ever."

I spent the rest of the evening with the two women and had a great time. I was pretty sure they enjoyed themselves as well. I got Laura's number and a promise that they would be at the restaurant again the next Friday night.

I was pretty sure Laura dressed for me the next Friday night. Her little black dress was mid-thigh and seemed to float on her hips, and the top was unbuttoned to right in between her large breasts. She wore a lacy black bra, which I along with everyone else got to see a lot of during the evening.

Sue was dressed a little less... flamboyant, shall we say, and she seemed to be staying a little more in the background, like a good wingwoman should. Laura seemed a little less concerned over the differences in our ages, and seemed to be leaning in and touching me on my arms and shoulders more. We talked about ourselves here and there, but I noticed that neither she nor Sue mentioned her famous son. I didn't either, but of course I had an ulterior motive.

When the two left at about midnight, I got a nice hug from Sue and an even better hug and a soft kiss on the lips from Laura. Mmm.

I called Laura for a date for the next week and she accepted after a couple seconds silence.

"Are you sure, Cheeky? What would your mother say if she found out you were taking out someone her age?" Laura asked.

"She'd probably tell me to make sure I was polite and held doors for you, the same thing she would tell me if you were 18 or 35 or..."

"Probably the same age as her," Laura giggled. "You can hint, but I'm not telling you my age... or my weight. Didn't your mama teach you there are some things you should never ask a woman?"

"Bra size," I answered. "Age, weight and bra size. But if you don't want to wear a bra, then I won't have to worry about not asking you that question."

"At my age, which I'm still not telling you, I think not wearing a bra is not attractive. The girls are not as perky as they were when I was your age," she said.

"I think you are underestimating yourself. A little bit of gravity doesn't hurt the look. Most guys enjoy the braless look. Try it and tell me I'm wrong at the end of the night."

"Cheeky and persistent. I guess this is what I get for hanging around with a kid," she said.

I wasn't sure she was actually going to go braless, but she was a vision of beauty when she answered the door the next Friday. She was wearing an emerald green dress that didn't have an ounce of space left in it, and was held up by two thin spaghetti straps. The nipples on her braless boobs were definitely poking the material, and she actually blushed when she saw me unashamedly looking.

"Hey," she said. "My eyes are up here, young man."

"Yeah, but your lovely breasts are definitely right... there," I said, grinning broadly.

"Just tell me I don't look... ridiculous," she rasped.

"You look absolutely fabulous... hot... hot," I whispered.

I went all out trying to impress Laura, starting with dinner at Pasqualone's, the best Italian restaurant in the state of Ohio. We then hit SwingColumbus, a great jazz and blues club with a dance floor. I'm not a great dancer, but I can hold my own, and I know most women like to dance. I certainly didn't mind her boobs swaying beneath the fabric of her dress, and she seemed to enjoy herself. I also found out she understood the allure of distilled spirits, drinking Glenmorangie 18-year-old single malt like it was meant to be drunk, neat and delicious.

We talked the entire evening, but the subject of her famous son didn't come up. I never mentioned that I was a musician, either.

It was probably the best date I ever had. When the evening ended, I wound up with a soft kiss on the lips and a date for the next Saturday.

Our date the next Saturday didn't end until Sunday afternoon. We did dinner, but instead of dancing she insisted we go back to her house for drinks and dessert. By the way, she again went braless for me, this time in a scoop neck cranberry dress that showed off a good amount of her alabaster-colored breasts. I enjoyed ogling her chest, and didn't feel the need to be subtle about it. She smiled demurely every time she caught me leering, which was quite often.

"You are wonderful for an old woman's ego, you know that?" she asked at one point during the evening.

"Hey, just doing my part," I replied.

We drank about a half-bottle of Glenfiddich 18-year-old single malt and she had baked a New York-style cheesecake. All that and she baked, too.

Among the conversations we had, she informed me that her son was the famous drummer, Bobby Lee, from Ravaged Crew. I pretended to be surprised. I had told her that I was a part-time musician and occasionally played in a band. She then came clean and told me about her son. I told her we had met once... briefly, several years ago, when I lived in Michigan. I gushed over how much I loved Ravaged Crew, which wasn't a lie until the incident with my fiancée, which I didn't tell her about.

We wound up in her bed. She had the stamina of a much younger woman, and was probably the most enthusiastic partner I'd ever had. She was a little self-conscious about her body at first--the older woman thing--but she quickly got over that when she saw I wasn't the least bit put off by her body. I personally thought it was a great body for a woman at any age, and I'm pretty sure I drooled once or twice as I slowly removed her clothes.

Her large boobs were a major turn-on, with their large, erect nipples and the fact that they jiggled and swayed easily as she moved. I must have played with them for a good 10 minutes while we kissed and laughed before I slid my way down to her pussy. She handed me a bottle of Astroglide, explaining it truly was an age issue, and I went to work, first with my tongue and fingers and then finally with my dick. She had four hard orgasms from my tongue and fingers and two more from my dick before she took me with her on orgasm number seven. As I said, she was very enthusiastic, and also quite loud. She spurred me on to heights I hadn't ever reached before.

I awoke spooned around this wonderful woman, my left hand cradling her huge left tit. I started slowly rubbing and tugging on her nipple, and I knew she was awake when she moaned. I turned her toward me and we locked lips. By the time the kiss was done I was fully erect, and we made passionate love. The woman was a goddess.

We began to spend most of our spare time with each other. I think she was as taken with me as I was with her. This definitely wasn't in the plan. I'll admit that when I started my pursuit of Bobby Lee's mother, my motive was revenge. This, however, went way past revenge. Laura had grabbed a hold of my heart.

I considered not saying anything, but that could lead to disaster if she ever met my parents. Damn. I needed to come clean if this relationship was going to go somewhere.

This wasn't going to be easy. It took me three weeks to actually work up the guts to have the discussion. When I did, we were both naked, having just made love. It seemed like the right time.

We were lying in bed facing each other, both breathing hard. Laura gave me a weak smile. I could tell that she had given me her all... as usual.

"I-I need to tell you something, Lor," I began haltingly. "And I don't want you to say anything until I'm completely done. Can you do that?"

She looked at me intently... and nervously. She nodded and I started.

I told her the whole story of her son and my former fiancée. Then I told her about my plan for revenge as her eyes got large and tear-filled.

"You bastard..." she started to say, but I put my finger to her lips and she stopped.

"I never counted on falling in love with you, Lor. You fucked this all up for me," I said.

The tears that she was holding back started leaking from her eyes.

"You... love me?" she squeaked.

It was my turn to nod.

"So you're telling me that my newest grandchild, who I haven't even seen yet, is the child of my son and your former fiancée. Are you sure?"

"Ab-so-fucking-lutely," I said.

Her visage morphed into one of sadness.

"I'm sorry, Simon," she said. "He gets that shit from his philandering father, who thought every woman should get a piece of his large dick. I tried to teach my son better than that."

She grimaced and dropped her eyes. Then she looked up brightly into my eyes.

"Can we back up a bit?" she asked.

I shrugged.

"You said you loved me. Didn't you?" she asked.

"I did," I rasped.

She scrambled on top of me and gave me a scorcher of a kiss. I wrapped my arms around her body and turned us over as one. She could feel I was hard. She opened her legs and I worked my dick inside. She made love to me with the most intensity I have ever felt. When she finally screamed out her orgasm, she took me with her. We kissed some more before drifting to sleep.

I woke to her green eyes staring at me. She smiled brightly.

"Of course you are assuming I love you back," she said.

It was my turn to smile.

"So where do we go from here?" she asked. "I mean, this is kind of unchartered territory. I'm old enough to be your mother. Isn't this kind of weird?"

I actually hadn't thought about that. My mom was probably going to have a heart attack when I told her about how old my girlfriend was.

"Well, I'm thinking kids are out of the question," I joked.

She gave me a stern glare.

"I don't need to be having my own grandkids," she said.

"Fair enough," I responded, "but I do think you need to be my wife."

This glare wasn't stern. She looked me directly in my eyes, blinked twice, then broke into major sobs. I did the only thing I could think of to do, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tightly to me. We stayed like that for several minutes.

"I do love you, baby, but we can't get married. Seriously," she said.

"Why not? I like classic rock," I responded glibly.

We were back to the stern glare.

"The age difference doesn't bother me, Lor. You might be my mother's age, but you don't act like her, you don't dress like her and you look way younger than her," I said.

"You mean your mom doesn't wear short skirts and bounce around braless? Wouldn't you like to see that? You always want me to dress like that."

"She's my mom, Lor. You're my girlfriend... and you're hot," I remarked.

"You're sweet, Si, and a total hornball. But be serious for a moment. Ten years from now I'm going to be 62 and not hot, and you're going to be 39. Are you going to want to be seen out in public with an old lady?"

"Who says you're not going to be hot, and it's up to you if you're going to be an old lady or not," I said. "Seriously, though, I've already thought about it. I'd be absolutely miserable without you, and I think you'd be the same without me," I said.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean we need to get married, Si. We can live together. It's done nowadays, you know," she said.

It was my turn to glare at her.

"That's not how I operate, Lor. I want you to be my wife... my life partner... my everything."

She looked back at me in disbelief. She shook her head. I nodded mine. She burst into tears again.

"You sure this isn't just your sick revenge thing, Si?"

My mother did have a problem with me wanting to marry a woman who was her age but looked and acted a decade younger.

"Put your tongue back in your head, Daniel. Remember she's your son's fiancée," Mom scolded Dad.

Dad blushed profusely.

"Hey, I'm not as bad as the guy who stole Si's first fiancée," he backpedalled.

Laura wasn't expecting that. She blushed and stammered out her own apology for her son.

"Shit. I wasn't going to explain all that," I mumbled.

We had a small wedding with just a few friends and family members. Yes, she invited her famous son. He came to the wedding. I could tell he didn't remember me at all when Laura introduced us. I wasn't going to say anything because I'd moved beyond revenge, but Laura just couldn't pass it up.

"You two share at least two things, Bobby," she said as he looked at me. "You're both musicians... and you both fucked the same woman. Only Simon was smart enough not to get her pregnant!"

Bobby looked confused, or it could have been the fact that he was totally sober for one of the few days in his adult life.

"Your son by that Boston blueblood girl, Catherine Jefferson? That girl was Simon's fiancée at the time you knocked her up, while his band was opening for you in Lansing, MI.

"You're just like your dumbass father, Bobby. I thought I raised you better than that."

"Cost me a couple million dollars every year in child support, and her parents are rich bastards anyway. They are total fuckheads," Bobby said.

"Indeed they are," I said. "And actually, I can't thank you enough. I got pretty close to marrying into that family."

Epilogue:

Simon looked out from his spot on the beach into the surf on the big island of Hawaii, where his wife was carefully wading. He smiled brightly and returned the wave she gave him. At 72, Laura was no longer hot, but he thought she was still a fine-looking woman in her one-piece suit.

The two-week trip was to celebrate the couple's 20^th anniversary.

Simon smiled again, this time to himself. What started out as a plan to get revenge on Bobby Lee became the best kind of revenge, he thought to himself: a life well-lived, with a true soul-mate.