Plans Come Together Ch. 04

- "So you had three plans for coming up here - not two. Or was it four?"

Now she was looking right at me with those big, bright eyes. Diane was a smart cookie.

"I can count, Kyle. Bailey and Steve. Lisa and Matt." She ticked them off on her fingers. "You and Amy - you hoped. Joanne was a wild card. Or your fallback girl - I'm still not sure about that. That leaves Mike and me. Were you playing matchmaker?"

- "Yes."

- "Just like that? You admit it?"

I shrugged. "It's true." I helped myself to another beer.

- "I'll have one, too, please." she said. I passed her a can.

We sat in silence for a minute.

- "Mike's a nice guy." I said. "Too shy to approach you out of the blue, though. And he doesn't have much dating experience." That was true, too; next to none isn't much. "But he's admired you since high school. Like me with Amy, I thought that this would help him confirm that you really are the person he thinks you are. At the same time, this might put him on your radar, if you know what I mean."

- "I knew who Mike was. Just as I knew who you were. I'll admit that I didn't know a whole lot about either of you, though."

- "So that part of the week hasn't been a total waste?"

- "Well..."

- "And you've found a new friend. Bailey really likes you."

- "That's true."

- "And don't try to tell me that you haven't been having a good time. I saw you on water skis."

She smiled at that recollection. We sat in silence for a a few more moments.

- "Are you going to tell Amy? What you've just told me?"

- "No."

Diane bristled. "Why not? Doesn't she deserve to know?"

- "About Plans 3 and 4. Sure - I can admit those. She's no fool. She may already have figured it out, just like you did. But tell her about Lisa? No."

- "How is that fair?"

- "Let me ask you this: when you go on a first date, do you immediately tell the guy your entire sexual history? Would you expect to hear his? Yes, I know that my history with Lisa is pretty recent - but I'm not trying to seduce Amy this week. I told you - I'm only interested in getting to know her better. If she's the girl I'm looking for, then I'll ask her out when we get back to school."

- "What if she asks about Lisa?"

- "That would be different. I'd just tell her the truth. I can't expect her to become my girlfriend if I lie to her right off the bat."

The silence lasted a little longer, this time. We never did finish that last can of beer. I paddled us back to the dock, and we put everything away. For the first time, I went to sleep in the room I shared with Mike.

***

WEDNESDAY

Breakfast was a huge feast again: eggs, back bacon, and toast, with a selection of salsas. I was only planning to have coffee, but a spread like that was hard to resist.

After breakfast, Bailey made a short speech. "I don't know how many of you have been to a cottage before." That was easy - only Lisa. We couldn't speak for Matt; he was still asleep, as usual.

"Well, there's a lot of work to it. A lot more than you might think. And we can't leave it until the last minute."

Jobs were assigned. Bailey went into town with Amy, to look for vegetarian options, and to get more gas. Diane drove them in her car. Matt was put to cutting the grass. Lisa got weeding the garden. Mike and I drew cleaning debris from the eaves-troughs.

The girls were gone for a couple of hours. By the time they returned, all of the assigned tasks were done. Bailey was very pleased with the results. She declared a break for lunch.

Lisa found a moment to nudge me with her hip.

- "You're not going to stand me up again tonight, are you?"

- "Sorry, Leece. I have another commitment."

She didn't like that one bit. "Okay, Kyle. I get it. You've made your point. You can quit fooling around anytime."

- "I wasn't fooling around." But I did really enjoy telling her that I had another commitment - probably much more than I should have.

Bailey promised to take the boat out again tomorrow. For this afternoon, though, she organized what she called 'The Backyard Olympics'. She had bocce balls, lawn darts, and even a croquet set. To top it all off, she'd set up an elaborate schedule, matching us all up so that no one played with or against the same person twice in a row.

I walloped Matt at lawn darts, lost narrowly at bocce, against Bailey (she was a ringer), and then had a fun croquet match against Amy and Diane.

- "Ask us to go canoeing at night later." said Diane.

- "You're matchmaking, now?"

- "Maybe..."

We had a swim to cool off, and then got to work preparing food. Dinner was more complicated than usual, but it was fun. We had tacos, with a choice of a dozen ingredients. There was ground beef, shredded cheese (two types), shredded lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, salsa, green onions, black olives, black beans, jalapenos (sliced), cilantro, limes, and cucumber slices.

- "Cucumber?"

- "They had it at the store."

Clean-up took a little longer than usual, but there was no question about what we were going to do afterwards: Name that Tune, 2010s version.

I had to laugh. It was the ultimate compilation of genres I never listen to, and songs I might have heard but couldn't tell you the title or the artist. For example, I know who Drake is - I just never listen to him if I can help it. Rap, Pop, Country, Hip Hop, Electronic or Techno? I'm sorry if you're a big fan, but I know very little about them - and care even less.

I got 21 Pilots - but didn't know the name of the song. Mike got Maroon 5 (plus the title).

The girls fought it out: Jason Derulo, One Direction, The Weeknd, Sam Smith, Bebe Rexha. Then then were the big guns: Justin Timberlake, Ariana Grande, Alicia Keys, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift - and of course Drake.

- "You don't like Drake?" said Bailey. "He's Canadian."

- "So is Justin Bieber."

- "What's wrong with Justin Bieber?"

- "Look - just because a forest fire is Canadian doesn't mean I'm going to cheer for it. Where was Alessia Cara? She's better."

- "Kyle's just whining because he got smoked." said Lisa.

We did get slaughtered. Guys 3, Diane and Amy 9, Bailey and Lisa 13. I let the girls rub it in for a bit longer, before I stood up and cracked my knuckles.

- "I'm going out on the lake again." I said. "Who's with me? Mike?"

- "Okay." he said. I'd tipped him off just after dinner.

- "We'll go, too." said Diane, indicating herself and Amy.

- "Life jackets. And be careful." said Bailey.

- "Okay, Mom."

Down at the dock, Diane did me a favour.

- "I was with Kyle last night. How about I go with you this time, Mike?"

- "That... sounds good."

- "You okay with that, Amy?" I asked.

- "Sure, I guess."

We didn't do it on purpose, but the two canoes started to get a little farther apart. Then I paddled a little more, to increase the distance.

- "I don't want to eavesdrop on their conversation." I said. "So... how did you like first year at Mac?"

Even in the dark, I could see Amy press her lips together. "It's okay, Kyle. I know why we're out here."

- "You do?" I was suddenly mildly alarmed. "What did Diane tell you?"

- "She didn't have to say anything. It's pretty clear that you're playing wingman for Mike. I understand. And... I even hope that it works out."

- "Umm... I can see why you'd think that. But, actually... Diane is playing wingman for you. And helping me out at the same time."

- "Pardon?"

- "Do you remember when I first invited you both to come up here? Diane didn't want to come any more than you did. But I met up with her again, and asked for a favour: I asked her to persuade you."

- "What?" Amy was understandably confused.

- "I told her that I wanted to get to know you better. She said that I should just ask you out - but I pointed out that you'd turned down quite a few guys. I had a feeling that if I came out of nowhere and asked you out, you'd have automatically said no."

She didn't say anything; she didn't have to.

"You would have - wouldn't you?"

- "I barely know you, Kyle."

- "But you know me better now than you did a week ago, right?"

- "I suppose..."

- "That's what Diane and I talked about last night. She wanted to know why I'd gone to such trouble to get you both up here, but hadn't made any effort to get you alone. She also realized that I was trying to set her up with Mike."

- "That was clear enough."

- "Okay, so I'm not especially subtle. But Mike is interested in Diane, and he's too shy to ask her out. I thought that this kind of setting would give them a chance to... get to know each other. Gradually. Just the same as I hoped it would do for us."

- "Us?"

- "Be honest, Amy. If I'd asked you out a month ago, what were my odds of success? Between 0 and 5%?"

She didn't deny it.

"Whereas if I asked you now, my odds might be somewhere between 4 and 7%?"

Amy smiled. It was my first little victory. "Alright. Your strategy does have its merits."

- "Yess!" I pumped my fist the way tennis players do. "Would you like another beer?"

- "I've barely started this one." she said.

- "So... did you enjoy first year?"

Over the next two hours, I drank five of the six beer that I'd brought. I learned a great deal about Amy that I hadn't known. She was jealous of her older sister, who was more confident, outgoing and better-looking (according to Amy). She had issues because her parents wanted her to be more like her sister, and didn't value Amy's academic achievements or her community service.

She had body image issues as well, centred around her very large breasts. She thought that guys only saw her tits, because the first few idiots she'd dated had gone straight for them. For some reason, there's a large number of males who think that a woman with large breasts must be easy, or at least promiscuous. Amy had had some bad experiences.

She was open-minded about homosexuality, sympathetic to transgender issues, and an environmentalist who wanted to operate an animal shelter. I had no problem with any of that. But Amy had only scorn for women who were promiscuous.

And that was where she lost me.

It wasn't hard to figure out that Amy's issues would carry over into a relationship. Her sense of humour was limited, and she was not very adventurous (witness her reluctance to try water-skiing). Don't get me wrong: she was a sweet, attractive girl with a heart of gold. But she wasn't the one for me. I was pretty sure of that. To top it all off, there was zero chemistry between us.

We paddled back to the dock. Mike and Diane had already done the same. We put everything away, and I thanked Amy for a lovely drink and drift.

I lay awake for a long time after that, thinking.

***

THURSDAY

We didn't get the boat out on Thursday, because it rained. It rained hard, then it drizzled, and just when we thought the sun might come out, it rained again. It was the kind of day that tempts you to do your homework.

Bailey, with her indefatigable cheerfulness, announced that we would make it a day for indoor games. She had a selection of board games to choose from: Monopoly, Backgammon, Risk, and Scattergories (to name only the ones we played that day). Mike had Scrabble, and Diane had packed a little game called CodeNames.

Mike, Diane and Amy opted to start with Scrabble. I agreed to play Monopoly with the other three. Bailey had to explain the rules to Matt.

Lisa followed the same strategy as I did: buy everything you can, ASAP. I had a little bad luck, landing on properties that were already owned, and Lisa got ahead. Bailey saved her money, and then bought a property from Lisa to give herself a set. Lisa used the cash to build more houses on the set she already had.

I tried to interest Matt in a straight swap that would have given us both a set. Unfortunately, he thought that I was trying to scam him. By the time Lisa had hotels on the yellow properties, I could see the writing on the wall. Of course I landed on them, and had to sell Park Place to Bailey for cash.

Three rounds later, I landed on Bailey's Boardwalk with three houses. She only took two of my properties, but the end was in sight (for me, anyway). Matt was wiped out, and went off to get another drink. I watched the BFF landlords fight it out.

Lisa landed on Park Place - with a hotel - but Bailey landed on Marvin Gardens twice in two turns around the board. Lisa was lucky, several rounds in a row, but then she landed on Park Place again, and followed that up by rolling snake eyes. Welcome to Boardwalk - with a hotel.

Bailey, meanwhile, had rolled three doubles in a row, and was happily sitting in jail, rent-free. When she got out, she managed to run the gauntlet of Lisa's properties, while Lisa landed on one of Bailey's other hotels (Pennsylvania Ave.). Short of cash, she had to sell off some of her houses.

- "Fuck me." said Lisa, as she rolled a five, and landed on Boardwalk again.

- "Ooh! Pay me." said Bailey.

I was just shaking my head. "Wow. Talk about bad luck."

- "Thanks, Kyle." said Lisa, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

After the Monopoly game, I called Joanne.

- "How are you doing?" she asked.

- "Pretty good." I said. "Plan 2 was successful. Plan 3 is still in the air. Plan 4 is a total washout."

- "I'm sorry about that."

- "I'm not." I said. "Glad to find out what I did."

- "That's good news about Plan 2, though. Fuck Lisa."

- "I did." I said.

Joanne laughed out loud. "Oh, I have got to hear about this!"

- "I'll tell you about it next time I'm in town. Maybe we can get together. Or you could come over for dinner, or something."

She was silent for a second. "You mean... with your sister? And your Mom?"

- "Of course. You know Katie likes you, and I bet my Mom would, too. I'll let you know in advance what weekend I'm coming back."

- "Okay. Thanks for calling, Kyle. Good luck with Plan 3."

Yes - that was the only one left. One and two were done, and four was scrapped. But three might still work.

I decided to go get a beer, and check on the scrabble game. Diane had won, of course, with words such as TITZ (on a triple word score), and SKROTEMS (using all of her letters for the bonus - and earning the dirty word bonus both times).

- "You have a filthy mind." I told her. It's a real mistake to think that do-gooders are automatically prudes.

- "Thank you." she said, smiling brightly.

The weather hadn't changed; it was pouring. It was Bailey's idea to play a seven-player game of Risk.

- "There are only six colours of pieces." said Lisa.

- "So we find something that we have a lot of." said Bailey.

And that was how I ended up playing Risk as the peanuts.

- "Nobody better eat any of my armies." I said.

I got a good draw of cards, including Western Australia and Indonesia. We took turns placing our armies one at a time. I put every single reserve peanut on Western Australia.

Mike and Amy appeared ready to fight it out in South America, while Lisa was being cagey, but putting some of her armies in Africa, and a bunch on Alaska. Bailey was stacking armies in Iceland, which might indicate a European or a North American strategy. Matt did... just about what you would expect Matt to do. He was spread around everywhere.

Diane had a shot at Australia, but after putting two more armies on Southeast Asia, she could read my plan. She began stacking armies on Middle East.

- "Goddamn, Kyle." said Matt. "That's a big stack of peanuts."

On my first turn, I conquered Eastern Australia and New Guinea, then free moved all of my peanuts to Indonesia. Australia was mine - along with its two armies per turn bonus.

Amy and Mike fought each other. She had somewhat the better of the dice rolls. Bailey was careful. She expanded into Europe, but also into North America. Diane worked her way into Africa.

If you've played Risk, you probably know that the way to win is to collect bonuses for controlling continents (Australia and South America are the smallest), by cashing sets of cards (which you collect each turn, as long as you conquer at least one territory), and by eliminating other players (because you collect the cards that they hold).

Nobody attacked me. Who wants to tangle with fourteen peanuts in Southeast Asia? Amy and Mike wore each other out, and then Amy invaded Northern Africa to stop Diane from getting the continent bonus there. Diane kicked her out a turn later, and Mike played a set of cards.

Lisa got a set next, and was smart enough not to go for broke. She just made it clear to Bailey that North America was going to be hers - eventually.

Matt had armies everywhere. When he got a set, he went from the Urals into Europe. As for me, I left fifteen peanuts on Southeast Asia, and gradually crept forward, taking a province here, a province there.

The sets were getting bigger. Amy finally eliminated Mike in South America, but it cost her, and her defences were paper thin. Diane cashed in a set, and swept from Africa to South America. I would have done the same. But poor dice rolls cost her a few too many armies, and she had to put most of what she had left in Venezuela, to dissuade Lisa from attacking her there.

Bailey had multiple fronts to contend with. She chose to strike out of Europe (which she didn't fully control) to take Egypt from Diane, and spoil her African continent bonus.

I cashed in my set for fifteen new peanut armies. Then I ruthlessly eliminated Mike's last three provinces in Asia, and took four cards from him. That gave me another set. Twenty new peanuts. I took all of Asia, wiped out Amy, and took her remaining cards.

By the time I was done, I held Ukraine and Middle East with ten peanuts each, and I had Alaska, with twelve peanuts there.

- "Motherfucker." said Lisa.

She went after Matt's last provinces, in North America and Europe, to eliminate him and get his cards, but she over-extended herself in the process.

- "Do we have to play this out to the bitter end?" said Diane. "I think it's pretty obvious that peanut man has us beat."

- "Looks that way." said Bailey.

- "Three way alliance." said Lisa. "We attack him - and only him."

I showed my cards. I was going to cash in another set, next time, worth twenty-five or thirty armies. One of the remaining players was going to be eliminated, and I would get her cards.

- "Aaargghh!" shouted Lisa. She'd lost at Monopoly, and now at Risk. Somebody wasn't happy.

It was still raining.

I knew a card game for multiple players that required little or no skill (Hi, Matt). It was called Pass the Ace. Every player gets one card, lowest card loses. You get one chance to pass your shitty card to the person on your left - who can't refuse. But if you get a lower card back, you're stuck with it. Aces are low. Kings are high, but they're also blockers: if you have a king, you can refuse an exchange.

It allowed all seven of us to play. Everybody got three peanuts, to represent their three lives. There was little or no strategy to it; pure luck ruled. Bailey won.

- "What do we do for dinner?" she asked, after a brief celebration.

- "As long as it's not pouring, I don't mind getting a little wet." I said. "We can barbecue." We had a ton of sausages and bratwurst that were ready to go. "That may not work for Amy, though."

- "I'm good." she said.

I got wet at the barbecue. I didn't mind. The sausages and brats came out fine. Amy had fried tofu to supplement her salads.

Bailey came out to check on me. "You okay?" she asked.

- "Pretty good." I said.

- "Lisa is probably going to fuck Matt tonight. She thinks that it'll make you jealous."

- "Okay." I said.

- "It won't, will it?"