Plans Come Together Ch. 04

PLANS COME TOGETHER Chapter 4

TUESDAY (very early)

"What the hell?" said Diane. "Were you having sex - with Lisa?"

We were standing just outside my room, and just down the hall from hers - not the best place to have a potentially loud discussion of my shortcomings.

- "You have a right to be upset." I said. "But there's an explanation. Unfortunately, it's a long and... complicated one. This isn't the time for me to explain. Nor the place."

Diane was in a position to wreck the rest of my plans. I was 2 for 2, at this point. But she could blow up Plans 3 and 4 - spectacularly - if she chose to make a scene. The week could end right here.

She seemed to be teetering on the edge of a knife. I didn't know her well enough to guess which way she'd tip. She really did have a right to be pissed off; she hadn't wanted to come here at all - I'd only convinced her by pleading that I wanted to get to know Amy better.

- "I suppose you deserve at least a hearing." she said, at last. "Tell me when the time and place are right for you to try to explain." With that, she stalked off down the hall.

Whew.

I had my priorities straight, though. I went into our room, and went to sleep. Mike woke me just in time to get a breakfast that Bailey had covered for me. There was another just like it, so I gathered that Matt was still out cold.

I had my breakfast on the deck, watching as Bailey and Lisa got the boat out for more water skiing and tubing. I went down to join them as soon as I could.

Bailey drove, Lisa was spotting, and Diane was skiing.

- "She looks good." I observed.

- "She does, doesn't she?" said Amy.

- "You should try it. No one's going to laugh - you saw all of us wipe out the first time. Even Bailey."

- "It does look like fun."

- "It's amazing." said Mike.

The clincher was probably Diane's face, when she came in after a run.

- "Amy, you have to try it."

- "That's just what we were telling her." I said. Maybe I should have just shut up, because Diane's face immediately darkened.

Amy got into the water. Diane wanted to spot for her, so Lisa came to the dock so that she could coach. Mike watched, and I shut my face.

The first two attempts were... well, ugly. Amy didn't hold on tightly enough, and the tow rope shot out of her hands. Then she pulled too hard, dug in her skis... and again couldn't hold on. The third attempt was even worse. She sat back too far, and her skis shot out from under her.

I managed to catch Lisa's eye, and I nodded.

- "One more try, Ames." she said. "You can do this."

She couldn't.

Once more, Bailey re-positioned the boat. I'd ridden as spotter; it's not much fun to bring the boat back, over and over, as people fail to get up. But I flashed her a single finger. My index finger. One more? Bailey was a good sport - probably a great sport. She nodded.             

- "One more, Amy. If you get up, I promise that we'll stop bothering you."

She actually laughed. "There's an incentive!"

Miracles do happen. Amy got up on her skis, and rode the water for almost a hundred yards before she fell.

Bailey came around, and tried twice more to get her back up, without success. Then she simply picked up the skis, and towed Amy back in, dragging her through the water. Amy swam the last fifty yards. We gave her a round of applause.

- "That was great!" said Mike.

Amy had enough of a sense of humour to laugh. "That was atrocious!"

- "It was fun, though." I said. "Wasn't it?"

- "Yes." Amy had a nice smile, even if she was afraid to show her teeth.

Mike got a turn, and surprised everyone by getting up on the second try.

- "Yeah!" I shouted, pumping my fist.

I got a turn. It was pleasant to get up right away. It was also a nice to discover that water skiing can clear your mind. I was going to tell Diane the truth. First, she was too smart to lie to, and second, I didn't want to lie. The truth was going to work, or it wouldn't - but that was my plan.

Matt woke up in time to have a try - a total waste of gas, in my opinion, but Bailey was too nice. Matt got up long enough to wave a hand around, drop a ski, and wipe out spectacularly.

Everybody got a shot at it, including our hostess, who once again looked like a star.

Lunch was a little late, so we kept it light. Bailey then repeated an announcement, which I had obviously missed the first time because I slept in.

- "Badminton Mixed Doubles Tournament begins at 3:00! Be there, or be square!"

Bailey had made the teams, but excluded herself. "Hey, I'm the undefeated singles champ! You guys have to earn a match with me."

She put Lisa, the female runner-up, with the lowest-ranked male: Matt. Amy had finished next; she got the second-ranked male as a partner: Mike. I was the top male, and the last-place female was Diane.

Shit. I couldn't complain, because I'd asked Bailey to put us together. I couldn't fault her ranking logic, either. There was just a little awkwardness because Diane probably wanted to kill me. Bailey announced the first match: Diane and me against Lisa and Matt.

- "Here's a weird suggestion." I said. "How about we just temporarily forget what we have to talk about, and just go out and win this thing?"

I'd struck a nerve. Diane was competitive.

We took an early lead, and then fell behind. Matt wanted into Lisa's pants, so he was doing what she told him, instead of trying for kill shots. With the score 9-7 for them, I huddled with Lisa.

- "Put everything on the right side. Matt's backhand is terrible." Diane nodded.

We got one point from that, as Matt lofted a powder puff backhand that I smashed into the ground. Then Lisa made an error, and put one into the net. Tie score. 9-9.

"We've got them." I said.

I was wrong. Diane made a nice shot, putting us at match point. But Lisa dropped a really pretty shot just over the net which I couldn't return. 10-10.

- "So what now, genius?" said my partner.

- "Keep sending it to Matt. He'll gift us a point."

That strategy almost backfired - Matt slammed one that hit me in the chest. Game point. But he put the next one out of bounds by a mile, and Diane actually smiled before she remembered that she was angry at me, and changed that smile to a scowl.

We kept hitting it to Matt. He made a bad backhand return, which fell out of bounds. We sent our next return to Matt, and Lisa decided to try to go for it. Her racquet clashed with Matt's, and the birdie fell between them.

- "Fuuuck!" shouted Lisa.

Diane did a weird little victory dance.

After a short break, Bailey had Diane and me play Mike and Amy, who managed to convince all of us that their previous play in singles had been a fluke. On at least three occasions, Mike and Amy let a shot straight down the middle fall to the ground untouched, because they were leaving it to their partner. Or maybe we won easily because Diane didn't make a single error, and returned everything that came to her side.

- "You guys make a great team!" said Bailey. She didn't catch Diane's reaction (a scowl), but I did, because it was aimed at me.

Lisa and Matt wanted to play Mike and Amy for second place, but it was getting close to dinner time, so most of us opted for a quick swim to freshen up and clean off the sweat.

Diane managed to catch my eye. She was one of those people who can raise one eyebrow without moving the other.

- "When?" she asked.

- "After dinner." I said.

- "What if they want to play name that tune again?"

- "Then after that."

- "Fine."

I was back on barbecue duty, because we were having kebabs. Chicken or beef on a skewer, mixed with green and red peppers, onions, and huge mushrooms. There were vegetarian skewers for Amy. Bailey and Lisa put the skewers together, and Mike ferried them out to me, while Matt stood beside me and drank beer. Diane and Amy made a huge mound of quinoa - because it was good for us.

Bailey was quite upset when she remembered - in the middle of the meal - that Amy was a vegetarian.

- "Ah - I forgot! Why didn't anybody remind me? Amy, we should have gone shopping today."

- "It's okay, Bailey. I'm not religious about it, or anything. I'm not a vegan. It's more of a preference."

- "I can't have you living on salads, girl!" said our hostess. "We'll go into the Corners tomorrow and see what vegetarian option we can come up. Oh, I'm so sorry I forgot."

- "I didn't want to put you to any trouble. Really - you don't have to go shopping tomorrow."

- "Yes, we do. Besides, we need more gas for the boat. So it's no trouble at all."

Clean-up went quickly. Diane had been correct: the majority vote afterwards (with Matt dissenting) was for name that tune - the 2000s.

I did not have high hopes for my team.

Diane got the first song, Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. She and Amy exchanged a high five, and then simultaneously said "Danger Mouse!"

Bailey identified Snoop Dogg next, but didn't know the song. I think that my mouth was hanging open; I had a hard time imagining her listening to Hip Hop or Rap.

- "Steve liked him." she said, by way of explanation.

Mike got us on the board by nailing Beautiful Day by U2.

- "There!" I said. "No U2 at all in the 80s and 90s, but now they show up?"

We all missed the next one (The Shins). Lisa got Mary J Blige and Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. I finally scored a point when I recognized Amy Winehouse's Back to Black - one of my sister's favourites.

Diane just beat Lisa to call out Aaliyah. She also got Lifehouse right after that. Bailey was first to recognize Jay-Z. Lisa squealed when she heard the next song, and shouted out "Janet Jackson!"

Over the next six songs, I got us three points: SR 71, Outkast, and Radiohead. Mike recognized Daniel Powter. But Amy got Lady Antebellum, and Diane scored two for Dido's White Flag.

The final score? Diane and Amy 9, Lisa and Bailey 8, Mike and me 8. It was Lisa's turn to be outraged. Where were the Backstreet Boys? Beyonce? Justin Bieber and Rihanna?

- "Eminem." said Bailey.

- "Black-Eyed Peas." said Amy.

There was a new discussion brewing, but I owed Diane an explanation. So I stood up.

- "I don't know about everybody else, but I feel like a late canoe ride on the lake. Is that okay?" I asked Bailey.

- "As long as you wear a life jacket." she said. "I'd prefer it if you didn't go alone, though."

- "Anybody want to go with me?"

I didn't even look at Mike; he was smart enough to catch my non-signal signal. Matt might have said something, but he was well on his way to being hammered again. If he had spoken up, I would've said 'I meant 'Anybody female'.

The only real danger was Lisa. I was gambling that she wouldn't go out of her way for me. She didn't.

- "Sounds weird." said Diane. "But okay."

- "Life jackets." said Bailey. "And don't be stupid."

- "Yes, Mother."

Diane went to quickly change clothes. I went to the kitchen to get a few cans of beer.

Lisa followed me in. "What about later?" she whispered. "Aren't you coming to my room?"

- "Sorry, Leece. I have another commitment tonight."

She heard me. She understood, too - and she didn't like it one bit. Being Lisa, she was probably going to try to pay me back in some way. That was a problem for another day. Actually, upon reflection, it wasn't a problem at all; I really didn't give a shit.

Diane was surprised to see me carrying six cans of beer. "Do we really need those?"

-"I might."

- "You're serious about canoeing at night?"

- "Very much so."

My cousin Alex had told me about his nighttime canoeing adventures, which he referred to as 'Drink and drifts'. Philosophize, bare your soul, share intimacies... drink a bit - all without worrying about where wind and currents take you. Then wake up and paddle back. I explained the concept to Diane as we put on life jackets and got our paddles.

- "There are no currents on a lake." she said.

- "Oh, there certainly are. You're thinking of a pond. Rivers and streams empty into lakes. Where do you think Bailey's magical brook goes? There's wind too. But do you know what's best about the middle of the lake? No mosquitoes."

- "True enough." said Diane. "This had better be a good explanation, though."

I put the beer in the canoe, and then encouraged Diane to sit in the front, facing backwards.

- "You won't need to paddle." I told her.

I got in as well, as she held us steady, and then pushed us off from the dock. It was a beautiful summer night, warm and a little muggy, with only white clouds overhead, and a nice little breeze.             

- "Start talking." she said.

- "Don't speak too loudly - sound carries, at night. But thank you for your patience - and for being willing to come out here and listen to me."

- "I gave you the benefit of the doubt. And Amy said that you encouraged her to keep trying to water ski. She said that she wouldn't have kept trying, if not for you."

- "Did you tell her about me and Lisa?"

- "No. Not yet." But the implication was clear. She could - and would - unless I convinced her not to.

- "Beer?" I cracked two cans open, and handed her one. She took it.

- "You can start explaining anytime, Kyle."

I did. I told Diane how I'd been in love with Lisa since Grade 11. How I'd finally gathered the courage to ask her out, only to be friend-zoned. How I'd then dared to ask Lisa to the Prom.

"I knew about that." said Diane. "But I didn't know that you'd asked her out before then."

- "Everybody knows about Prom. It's my badge of dishonour. But I knew that Roger de Vries was no good for her. And Lisa was going to Mac - same as us. I thought... I thought that she would eventually come to her senses, and realize that I was the best option for her."

- "It didn't work out that way?" said Diane, with a trace of compassion.

- "Do you know Lisa, Diane?" I asked.

- "Not very well. Certainly not as you do."

- "That's kind of you. I think you know that Lisa's a snob. She's always wanted to be part of the 'elite'. The most popular people, like Bailey and Steve. Or the jocks, at university. She may have genuinely liked me, but she turned me down for Prom because she couldn't imagine having me sit at the same table as her high and mighty friends. When they looked down on me, she was afraid that some of it would rub off on her."

- "That's... harsh."

- "Do you mean that I'm harsh, for characterizing Lisa as a snob? Or that she was harsh, for friend-zoning me because she couldn't imagine letting anyone in her circle find out that she liked me? Which, by the way, doesn't include sexual attraction - Lisa liked being adored. That's most of it."

It wasn't very good for my ego, to admit to Diane that I'd let Lisa string me along and keep me on the hook. But it was true, and it included steps on the way to where we were today.

- "You're not over it." she said. "You're not over Lisa."

- "Actually, I am. And it's all thanks to Lisa herself."

- "How so?"

- "She got in touch with me about this week. Bailey wanted to re-connect with her old high school chums who were at Mac. Lisa didn't know how to approach you - but I did."

Diane bristled. "So that story about you being interested in Amy was a lie?"

- "No. There's a lot more to it. Please, Diane - let me tell you everything."

She frowned. "Alright. Go ahead."

- "Beer?" I'd finished one, and cracked another open. She declined.

"I asked who would be here. Steve and Bailey, obviously. But Lisa had invited Matt."

Diane made a face.

- "Exactly. Has he hit on you, yet? Because he will."

- "I know. He... he propositioned Amy. In very crude terms."

- "Right. But he was originally meant to be Lisa's boy toy for the week. Until I scuppered that."

Diane was upset to learn that I'd plied Matt with drinks that very first night. But she had to admit that he'd done a very good job of getting wasted all by himself since then.

"She told me that she'd invited him. Then she encouraged me to invite a girl for myself. She needed my car, of course. I chose Mike, because he's my roommate - and my friend. Then I sought you out."

- "Because you wanted me to bring Amy."

- "Yes. Partly. But also because I knew that Bailey had always been curious about you. Bailey values her popularity, but she's actually quite sweet. I'm sure you've seen that."

Diane nodded. I wasn't paddling. We were just drifting, pushed a little by the wind. We were getting close to shore, so I put my paddle in the water, and got us back towards the middle of the lake.

- "Sorry. I should have asked if you wanted to go looking for Bailey's brook. We might be able to spot the Fairies."

- "Don't make fun of me, Kyle."

- "I wasn't. It was a magical place. I enjoyed every minute there."

Diane was studying my face. I think she came to the conclusion that I wasn't lying.

- "Go on." she said. "And perhaps you can explain why Joanne was invited. That was your doing, wasn't it?"

- "Yes. Joanne is my friend. And a friend with benefits, sometimes. I thought that she would enjoy being here, and that -"

- "She was your fall back in case you got nowhere with Amy."

- "No." I said. "She's my friend. But we both suspected that Steve couldn't resist the temptation."

I told Diane just about everything about Plans #1 and #2. She was shocked. That was fine: shocked, but not disgusted.

- "You deliberately broke them up?"

- "Yes. You could say that I also did Bailey a big favour."

I told her every single reason I had for hating Matt Ryan and Steve Holmgren. Grade 9 initiation, Steve's snobbery, and his theft of my sister's virginity.

Diane 's reaction was hard to read. She looked... thoughtful.

- "That was pretty cold-blooded of you. To plan this all in advance."

- "My plan was only a rough guide. I couldn't count on Steve being so stupid. Nor was I sure that Lisa would come on to me because Matt made such a spectacle of himself - but then she saw me without a shirt." I wasn't going to say a damned thing about Lisa seeing me naked, or having sex with Bailey. Diane didn't need to know that.

- "You think that was all it took?"

- "Lisa has a thing for athletes. She never saw me as one because I never played on any school teams."

- "That's right." she said. I can't remember you ever being around after school. Why was that?"

- "Same reason I never joined any clubs, or any of your groups. I was always at work."

- "Because you had to?"

- "My mother's a single Mom, supporting two kids. There wasn't going to be any money left over for me to go to university unless I earned it."

- "Didn't you win a scholarship?"

- "Same one as Amy got." Half of my tuition was paid, each year, as long as I kept up my average.

- "You could have stayed at home, and gone to Trent."

- "With all of the assholes from our high school? No thanks. Besides, Mike was going to Mac."

- "And Lisa."

- "Yeah. That was the smallest part of it, though."

Diane took a swig of her beer. "So how does Amy fit into your plans?" she asked.

- "Look - it's exactly what I told you before. I want to get to know her better. If I'd asked her out, straight up, she'd have said no. If I had the time, I'd have joined one of the clubs or committees you two are on. But my spare time is taken up the same way it's always been: work. This seemed like the best way of getting to know her a bit. Maybe after this week, if we connected a bit, I could ask her out back at school, and she might not automatically say no."

- "What is it you're looking for?"

- "A girlfriend." I said. "Someone that I like and respect, and that feels the same about me. Respect is a big thing for me. That's why I know it can't be Lisa."