Plastered & Fucked

All people described were over the age of eighteen at the time of this interview and any sexual activities described were consensual and nonviolent.

PLASTERED & FUCKED - ROCK AND ROLLER RECALLS HOW HE GOT HIS COCK PLASTERED

The following interview was conducted by Benny Rose, before Simon Leitch passed away at the age of 79, on June 10th, 2022. We cannot corroborate Simon's statements, as Benny Rose also passed away this May. This interview is from a transcription of Benny's interview tape with permission from his son, Randy Rose. Most of the witnesses are no longer alive or are beyond caring. We have altered the names to protect the guilty.

Please consider this interview unreliable until we can establish its voracity. The collection of plaster cocks is currently on display at the 'Rock and Roll Artifact Museum' in Wichita, Kansas. Admission is free and a casting class is available on Wednesday evening and requests volunteer participants.

INTERVIEWER BENNY ROSE - We are here at the Freemont Home for the Aged, in Albany, upstate New York, to interview the last surviving member of the 'Dimont Band,' Mr. Simon Leitch, and to ask him about his experience with 'the Plaster Caster.'

Simon, I understand you were a member of the 'Dimont Band.'

SIMON LEITCH - Yep, for as long as it lasted.

BENNY - What instrument did you play?

SIMON - Rhythm guitar and occasional bass guitar.

BENNY - Are you still playing?

SIMON - Not really, haven't touched the damn guitar in years.

BENNY - Could you tell us a little about what went on, how you met Sinthia, and if she made a casting of your family jewel?

SIMON - I was working as a sideman for the up-and-coming rock group, 'Dandy Dimont, and the Mastiffs' when Sinthia Briton came backstage in 1971. Sinthia, known as the 'Plaster Caster" told us she had made several casts of the Beach Boy Penises just the week before and wanted to add us to the group.

BENNY - Why did you guys consent?

SIMON - Having your rig (penis) cast was considered very cool after Hendrix had it done. We figured being on that list would add to our popularity.

BENNY - I understand Dimont was not cast at the last minute due to drug problems.

SIMON - Well mate, it went like this. Dandy was supposed to be the next in line, but ‌he disappeared when the Castor showed up. I don't know if it was drug-related or not.

BENNY - So you are saying the penis cast in Sinthea Castor's collection identified as Dimont was a fake.

SIMON - I wouldn't call it a fake, it was a Mastiff cock. Let me explain, Dandy told our manager to pass me off as him. Since we wore dog masks when we performed, no one was sure who was who. I was trying to go sober, not an easy chore with that bank of drinkers, and if you pushed me in the right direction, I'd pretty much do as you asked.

BENNY - Your group was quite popular at the time. Your album reached number 14 and the radio play of your single, "Stitch It," was way up there.

SIMON - Yeh, We were pretty hot for a few months, we even got on the inside cover of Rolling Stone. What happened was Tracy Almont, one of our roadies, got hooked up with a drug dealer and started selling cocaine to the band. The guys were crazy about snow. No one knew how dangerous the stuff was back then.

BENNY - Didn't Dandy die of the stuff?

SIMON - Dandy overdosed a few weeks later. We found him too late. He was on his back and choked on his own vomit. A female groupie was lying nude on top of him. Funny thing was, his cock was still erect. The Doc said that was common with corpses, the stiffy.

BENNY - So that was the end of the band?

SIMON - Without Dandy and his trademark pinwheeling of the guitar, our careers were over. None of us were accomplished musicians. When I confessed my inadequacies to one of the Ramones, Johny advised me,

"Neither are we. Just play real loud."

BENNY - So what did you do?

SIMON - I stuck with a few band members for a few months, but the gigs dried up. I went to work in my dad's house painting company and stayed there until I retired several years ago.

BENNY -You know, of course, Sinthea died a few weeks ago at the age of 76.

SIMON - Yep, I read that in the paper. Now that the Castor is gone. I guess you are interested in my penis?

ROSE - Not exactly.

SIMON -That's fine with me. I'm an old man and the wank is pretty much gone from the wanker.

BENNY - Please sir, tell us how you met the 'Plaster Caster,' and what went down before and after she cast you and Dandy's dick.

SIMON - I really would rather not talk about it. I had a wife, she's gone, but my kids are still around. The whole thing is kinda embarrassing. I have a weak heart, don't ya know?

BENNY - Well, could you try, here in the retirement living center, if you find this too emotional to talk about, they have a full medical staff.

SIMON - Full medical? Let me tell ya, I wouldn't let these bozos burn a canker sore off my dick.

BENNY - Try to tell us, Simon, the world wants to know and you are one of the last living models left alive.

SIMON - Well, it wasn't a dangerous procedure. Sinthea didn't kill no one, she was just interested in one thing.

BENNY - Yes Simon, tell us about it. That one thing was?

SIMON - Dick. Raw and big.

BENNY - Can you be a little more descriptive?

SIMON - My dick? It was about 8 inches erect.

BENNY - Yes, I'm sure, but tell us how the casting went down.

SIMON - Ok, this is how it went. As I said, I had to sub in for Dandy. He couldn't be found. When they told me I was going to be cast, I put on Dandy's dog mask and she never knew I wasn't him.

BENNY - Was she by herself?

SIMON - Oh no, she had an assistant who acted as a fluffer. Do you know what that is?

BENNY - Tell us.

SIMON - Well, a fluffer is there to keep your boner up while the plaster sets. That can take ten to twenty minutes.

BENNY - And how did the fluffer work?

SIMON - Well, first off, the girls wanted privacy. The three of us went into an empty bathroom at the Palladium where we had just finished performing.

BENNY - And?

SIMON - I gotta say those two broads were real lookers back then. They wore see-through blouses and minis so short that they hardly covered their minges. The girls were very sexy and very loose if you get my drift.

The assistant told me to take off my jeans. I was happy I had worn no underwear. That was my habit back then. I was never comfortable with my dick squashed under those elastic jock jobs.

The next thing I knew she was down on her knees and giving me a blow job, and Sinthia was shouting at me, "Don't come, we need you to stay hard."

When I was full and firm, the girl let me loose and quick as a rabbit rubbed vaseline on my dick and balls and into my pubes.

Then Sinthia showed up with what looked like a martini-shaker canister, filled with the dental compound she called alginate. Quick as a chipmunk disappearing down a burrow, Sin grabbed my dick and shoved it into the 'shaker.' While Sin held the canister in place with one hand, her second finger tightened around my knob and shoved my dick into the goo. All the while, she was playing with my balls.

BENNY - Why was that?

SIMON - Her excuse was, pulling with my balls would keep me erect. For some unknown artistic reason.

She asked, as the plaster stiffened, "Are you sure your dick is erect?"

"Yep, my dick is full-sized.

"I think It's good enough," said Diana.

"What's next?" I asked.

"Afterwards, the plaster will be poured into the mold and left to set. This takes an hour," she said. "That way we get a perfect casting of your gomer."

Once the dental stuff was fully set, Sin told me my cock had fallen, and the mold was not perfect, so we'd have to start again. I wasn't sure this was true because it seemed fully erect when I pulled it out of the mold.

She told me, "In order to be fully super erect for a new casting, I'd have to fuck her. Since I hadn't cum from her assistants' blow job, I was ready to go. Sin sat me on my back and lifted her short skirt. I could see she too liked fresh air on her privates.

She climbed on board after lathering my dick with some oil.

"Fuck me you stupid ass," she shouted. I did her bidding as she moved her hips up and down".

"When I finished fucking her, she jumped off."

"Do we do the casting now?" I asked.

"Oh no you idiot,' said Sinthia, "I liked the size of your dick and just wanted to get fucked. The first mold was fine."

At that, the two girls cracked up. They handed me a towel to wipe off my cock and gathered their stuff. They disappeared out the stage's left door. I took off Dandy's mask. It was suffocating. I never saw them again.

BENNY - Thank you, Simon Leitch. That is all we have time for.