Play the Game

I laughed and said, "All the paper towels in the city won't clean this kitchen."

He smiled and said, "I dropped the bag of flour and did one of those juggling things as I tried to catch it. I should've just let it fall to the floor."

I laughed hysterically at that vision and sat in a chair that wasn't covered in flour.

"Here's a cup of my finest coffee," he said as he set a cup down. I looked at the countertop and smiled.

"Maxwell House, huh? I see you spared no expense for me."

"Hey!" He smirked. "Don't knock my choice in coffee. One thing I've learned over my many years is, if something is good, you don't need to look for something better."

His face immediately changed. I think he realized that what he said could have been applied to our marriages and the pain hit him. I jumped up and pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you for everything, Dale. Alyssa was a stupid bitch, you know that, right? You know this wasn't your fault."

He shook his head. "I know you're going through it too, but how can I let myself think I couldn't have done something different? Something better? I mean, I know you guys weren't as in love as we were...well, as much as I thought we were. Maybe that's my problem. She didn't love me as much as I loved her."

For a split second I was upset. What did he mean that we weren't in love as much as they? Then I realized he was right. After I met with the lawyer, I knew my marriage was doomed to fail. She asked if I considered counseling or just forgiving him and giving him a second chance.

There was no way. I never even thought about giving him a second chance. That's when I realized my love for him wasn't as deep as it should have been. If he wasn't worth even considering a second chance, did I love him at all or was I just comfortable with him? That would take more time than I wanted to waste on him to figure out. Nope. Mike was history.

Dale looked sad and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it that way, it's just that you guys hardly ever touched or hugged or showed any affection to each other. If I didn't know you were married, I'd have thought you were roommates."

"It wasn't like that at first," I said quietly. The previous year to my filing for divorce we were like roommates. Well, roommates that didn't like each other.

"Forget them, for now," I said. "Let me get some of that bacon."

He laughed again and handed me a plate.

***

After giving the police our statements and my having my lawyer get me a temporary restraining order against Mike, we were spent. It was a long day for both of us at work, and the stress of talking with the police only compounded it.

Dale asked, "Wanna grab a bite somewhere? I don't feel much like cooking."

"Sure," I sighed, longing to get into a hot bath and soothe my aching muscles.

"Ooh! There's my favorite restaurant," he shrieked. He sounded like a little kid passing a McDonald's and I wanted to laugh.

I looked over and saw he was talking about a cool Mexican restaurant that I also liked. They had karaoke on Friday and Saturday nights and none of the songs were sung in English. Well, if I were drunk enough, I'd sing a song in English.

"Thanks," he said as the waitress brought our chips and salsa. "Could you bring us a larger cup of the guacamole salsa and two strawberry margaritas?"

"You're ordering for me now?" I asked with a smile. He knew what I liked; we'd certainly gone out as couples for dinner enough times.

"Stuff it. We've never gone for Mexican without you ordering that. I also know you're going to order the tampiquena."

I shook my head. "I was going to order the chimichanga tonight."

He laughed, "Whatever. I know for a fact that you haven't eaten fried food since college."

I kicked him playfully under the table and said, "Thank you, for this."

"What? I'm not paying for your dinner."

"No, for making me smile"

He frowned, "Yeah, it's not our fault, right? We're not to blame for this. I don't want you to..."

"Don't," I said and touched his hand. "Just for tonight can we forget about our failed marriages?"

"Okay, I..."

"Are you ready to order?" the waitress asked as she placed our drinks on the table.

"Yes," he said. "She'll have the tampiquena with extra guacamole, and I'll have the steak chimichanga with extra steak and no beans inside."

As the waitress walked away I asked, "Why do you always get no beans inside, but eat the beans that come on the plate? It's weird."

"It goes back to college when I was on the Atkins diet. I would order a steak burrito with extra steak and no beans or rice. You can't eat beans and rice on that diet. Too many carbs. I would open the tortilla and eat everything inside and toss the tortilla. This place doesn't put rice in their burritos or chimi's.

"You look tired, Dale. Didn't you get much sleep last night."

He looked at me as if I were crazy. "No, I had a lot going through my head and it kept me up."

I smirked, remembering him fantasizing about me giving him a blowjob.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault."

Out of nowhere, I started crying and desperately tried to stop. Of course, I failed and hurried away to the bathroom, so I didn't embarrass him. Where the hell did that come from?

My knight in shining armor. Who knew what Mike would have done to me if Dale wouldn't have burst into my house with his baseball bat? Dale had his own problems with his cheating wife, and he had to come to my rescue. He should have been taking care of himself, not saving me from trouble--thank God he did.

After cleaning myself up and making myself presentable, I opened the door to find him waiting for me in the hallway.

"Dale!" I jumped back in surprise.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

I sighed, "You really didn't. I don't know what came over me. I went from laughing to crying in a finger snap and it's strange. I..."

"Shh." He pulled me into a hug and his arms felt so good. When he kissed the top of my head and said, "It'll be okay, I promise." I wanted to drag him into the bathroom and make him take me right there. I could never do that. It wasn't my style, and it wasn't our time. Yet.

"Come on," I said. "Let's eat. I'm sure it's ready by now."

He smiled and led me by the hand back to the table.

***

"I can't believe you ate that whole thing," I said.

He smiled and dragged a tortilla chip through the last of his beans and then through his rice. I shook my head at his simple genius. The beans made the rice stick to the chip. It's weird I never thought anything about that before. He popped it into his mouth and smiled in satisfaction.

I looked at my plate and saw half of the thin steak and cheese enchilada looking back at me.

"At least you finished your margarita," he said as he slurped the last remnants of his.

"I'm gonna have the rest for lunch tomorrow."

For some reason he found that funny and laughed.

"What?" I asked feigning being annoyed.

"I'll bet you eat your leftovers before you go to bed."

I shook my head. "That might have been true other nights, but not today. I just want a hot bath and a good night's sleep."

"Well, I can make sure you get a nice hot bath. You're on your own for the good night's sleep."

I patted his hand and said, "Don't worry, my friend. After a hot bath, I'll be out like a light."

For a moment, I thought I saw disappointment flash across his face. I could only hope. Not yet, Dale. Not yet. Our time will come.

As we were settling the bill, the DJ was setting up for karaoke. Dale smirked and said, "Don't even think about it."

***

I woke the next morning and was beat by Dale again. "Damn, he's an early riser," I thought, as I rolled out of bed and made my way downstairs.

"What? No disaster today?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen searching for coffee like a heat seeking missile.

"No, sorry. Today I made a simple oatmeal with fruit sauce."

"Fruit sauce?"

He smiled, "Here, taste."

"Mm," I moaned. It was delicious.

"Oh, stop! It's nothing special. I blended the leftover fruit from yesterday with a little rice wine vinegar."

"Rice wine vinegar?" I asked.

"Just a bit."

"Well, it's delicious."

He smiled and bowed with flourish.

"Dale, I was hoping you would come to my house with me today."

He looked up and nodded, "Of course. Wear shoes though." He laughed at himself, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

I was surprised I hadn't seen nor heard from his wife Alyssa. For all I knew, Dale was in the hospital or in jail, but she was free and loose. I wondered where she went the other night and why she wasn't fighting for her marriage.

After dressing, we walked next door to my home. Well, my house. I wasn't sure it was my home anymore.

"Jesus, Kate. I forgot what a mess it was," Dale said as we walked into the living room.

I started crying as I looked at my expensive figurines and ornaments on the floor in pieces all around us. I began to get angry, and I ran upstairs to Mike's home office. Dale shouted after me, but nothing was going to stop me from enacting some revenge.

I saw his wall of glory; his homage to himself. He kept every trophy, every plaque, every damned certificate of achievement he ever received. It was all fuel for my anger and fodder for my rage. One of his trophies was three feet tall and stood on the floor. I picked it up and swung it like a bat, breaking everything I could break. I ripped every certificate, snapped every trophy into pieces, but I had different plans for the plaques.

I stormed past Dale who stood shocked and deposited all of the plaques into the fireplace. I sighed and looked around for the starter sticks. Irritated I couldn't find one, I ran into the garage and found lighter fluid.

"Oh, Kate, please be careful," Dale begged from the stairs.

I ignored him as every step I took crunched my figurines and ornaments beneath my feet. My Nike's crunched my beloved antique Christmas house collection that I spent three years searching for pieces to complete. No, I had no intention of being careful. I didn't care if the house went up in flames with his tributes to himself.

I expected more of a whoosh when I tossed the match on the pile. I was underwhelmed, but that went away as they started to burn. The smell of burning wood, varnish, and plastic was probably toxic, but I didn't care. Dale, of course, did. He opened the windows and front door.

I watched the flames build and burn, it was a symbolic end to my marriage in a way. Down in flames.

I heard scraping and turned to see Dale sweeping the pieces of my life into a dustpan. "Let me get the garbage can," I said and went into the kitchen. I shook my head at the spotlessly clean kitchen opposed to the mess in the living room. "What a damn shame," I whispered as my tears fell again. I put on a pot of coffee and brought the garbage can and another broom into the living room.

It took over an hour to get everything in perfect condition. We carried my curio cabinet to the curb, made sure the fire was out, and locked my house.

"Do you think I should change the locks, Dale?"

"Why bother? Let him take what he wants, I think they will have to go through the police to make that happen with the restraining order in effect."

I nodded in understanding and smiled when he took my hand to walk back to his house.

***

We were barely in the door when Alyssa pulled into the driveway.

"Would you mind waiting in your room, Kate?" he asked quietly.

"Of course," I said. "Good luck." I kissed his cheek and saw a hint of a smile forced through the sadness on his face.

I had just closed the door when I heard her stomping up the stairs. She shouted, "If you think you're going to get away with this divorce bullshit, you've got another thing coming. You know you love me, and you'll miss me in a few days."

I shook my head and sighed. I couldn't imagine what made cheaters think that they had the power in the relationship. What was going through her mind that she thought he would forgive her. They were a couple in their late twenties. It wasn't like there were decades invested in their relationship. They didn't have kids to deal with either. Their only bond was an invisible, intangible emotion called love. The thing about love is, if it's not returned in full, it becomes pain.

"Please, Dale," I heard her shout. "I love you so much, Mike was a mistake. A stupid decision followed by my ego thinking I should have more.

I could tell Dale was standing near my closed door when I heard his soft response.

"I gave you every bit of the love I had within me. I loved you so much it never occurred to me to cheat on you or that you could cheat on me. You say you love me, and I believe you do. The problem is you didn't love me enough. The game is over. I've lost."

I touched the door as if I could soothe him and ease his pain.

"It's not a game, Dale, it's our marriage," she sobbed.

"That too is over. You killed it for a little dicked asshole. I don't even care to know why. That's how badly you've hurt me. I don't care to know why you threw away nine years of devotion. I just want you gone."

"I'm so sorry, my love. I'll be here when you come back to me," she said as if he would. I wouldn't allow it. I would soon have him.

I saw her car back out of the driveway, so I opened the door and saw Dale sitting on his bed. He wasn't crying, but I could tell he was shredded emotionally.

I sat next to him and took his hand. I knew better than to ask if he was okay. There was no way he was okay, and it would be a long while before either of us were okay.

"You're a good man, Dale and I'm here for you."

He looked at me and smiled softly. "What a pair, huh? Two broken hearts trying to mend each other."

I leaned into his shoulder and said, "I like to think of our hearts as made of soft clay cups. They can be molded to fit whatever love with which we choose to fill them. They can break, but because they are soft, they can be molded back to hold a different shaped love. With enough love, they can be molded stronger than ever before."

"I love your optimism, Kate. I really do, but if what I had with Kate wasn't strong enough, than I can't see myself ever..."

I backed away and cut him off, "Don't you dare say you'll never love again. That's the stupidest thing you can say. Sure, you're hurting, and I understand that, but you are a great guy. You're one of the most loving people I've ever met. Christ! I'd die to feel your love for a minute."

I panicked. I didn't want to say that, and I'd just intimated I was in love with him. I jumped from the bed, ran to my room, and threw myself on to the bed sobbing.

As I shook and cried into the pillow, I felt his hand rub my back.

"Kate, please look at me for a moment."

I shook my head and kept it buried out of embarrassment. He slid his hand down my back and rested it on the side of my hip. I could feel him looking at my butt clad in skintight leggings. My body tingled at the most intimate way he'd ever touched me, and I longed for him to move his hand to the left.

"Kate, please. I need you to see my eyes when I say this."

I sighed and turned my hips which made his fingers graze over my derriere. It was an electric moment, and he pulled his hand away to help me sit up.

He touched my cheek and rubbed my tears away with his thumb.

He looked into my eyes and said, "You told me you remembered my attitude towards Alyssa last Labor Day."

I nodded.

"Do you know what happened the day after that?" He stroked my chin and said, "We had lunch, and you must've known I would be in a bad mood because you made me those pierogi's I like."

He was right. I did make them for him, but they were just frozen ones. I didn't make them from scratch.

"Why did you do that?" he asked.

I sniffed back some tears and said, "I figured you'd need to be cheered up. You know I always have some in the freezer."

"I knew then that you were different than Alyssa. She never even realized I was upset with her that weekend. I didn't talk to her for three days, and she never noticed. I saw you for a few hours and you knew something was wrong."

I said, "You were just acting different. It wasn't a big deal."

"No, you see, I realized that day that you had feelings for me, and it made me examine my feelings for you. Of course, I'd never embarrass you by saying anything. How could I? We were both married."

"It was only pierogis," I defended.

He shook his head. "No. After that, I paid closer attention to you. I watched how you interacted with me and Alyssa. More importantly, I paid attention to how you and Mike acted with each other. I knew you were going through the motions with him. It was obvious to me because so was I with her. Do you remember my birthday in November?"

"Yes."

It was the day before Thanksgiving. I took him to one of those places that keep bringing you meat until you tell them to stop.

"Why did you dress up?" he asked.

"Dress up?" I shrugged.

"We could've gone to that restaurant in jeans and t-shirts for lunch. You dressed up for me."

"Alyssa is always dressed up and looking beautiful. I didn't want you to be seen with me in jeans and a t-shirt."

"Exactly! You wanted to be like Alyssa."

"Okay!" I shouted and stood. "For one fucking lunch, I wanted to be worthy to be at your side. It was your birthday. You deserved..."

He stood and hugged me. It felt so good to be in his strong arms. His body spray invaded my senses and made me want to lick him like the vanilla he smelled like.

"Remember New Year's Eve?" he asked quietly.

I sighed. "Yes."

"Then you remember how just before midnight, you made sure to bring me a fresh drink. You did that so you could be next to me for the New Year's kiss. Alyssa was still in the kitchen getting snacks with Mike, while I was watching the countdown in the living room."

"So."

"So, you kissed me," he whispered into my ear. His warm breath caused the hair on my neck to stand up.

"It was midnight," I weakly defended.

"It was, but you didn't even look for Mike. The first thing you did was kiss me, but that wasn't what stood out."

"What do you mean?" I sighed.

"We kiss all the time, but that one was different. You put your arms around my neck and closed your eyes."

I backed away and walked to the window. "It was just a kiss."

"Until you opened your eyes. Then, I saw the way you looked into my eyes for just a moment. For a brief moment, I saw more love in your eyes for me than I ever saw you give Mike. In fact, a moment later when Mike walked in with Alyssa's lipstick on his lips, you kissed him, and it wasn't even close to the way you kissed me."

"I didn't notice the lipstick."

He laughed. "No, we never noticed a lot of things, right? That's how it was so fucking easy for them."

I sat on the bed, and he sat next to me, barely touching my thigh.

"Anyway, I finally started to notice those little things. I think when I suspected Alyssa of cheating, my rose-colored glasses came off along with the blinders. Little by little, I noticed things about her and about you. In the end, I fell out of love with her, and rose from the ashes in love with you."

My head snapped around and he leaned in to kiss me. I was so shocked I didn't move my lips.

He pulled back and said, "Boy, I was hoping you were a better..." and that was all he got out before my lips were mashed into his and we fell back onto the bed. My tongue parted his lips and sought him out as I opened my mouth wider. It was wet, it was sloppy, it was heavenly.

He started to laugh, and I got pissed.

"What's so funny?" I asked as I tried to catch my breath.

"You're pretty passionate, aren't you?"

"You have no idea," I breathed. "Wait! Dale, we can't do this. We're still married."

He smiled, "I'm glad you feel that way. I'm not going to make love to you until our divorces are settled. I was hoping we could manage to stop."