All Comments on 'Playdate'

For your first story you did well. Just a few grammatical errors but nothing to distract from your story.

This should maybe have a second chapter to finish up by having them tell the kids they are dating. Then later on they could get married.

5 stars.

Another chapter or 2 wouldn't be a bad thing. Very nice work!!

Great story. Really enjoyed it.

Good Job, I think you could get more chapters out of these characters..

An EXTREMELY well-written story. Keep up the great work!

You did a very good job in writing this first story. Character and story development were very believable and entertaining. Good Job!

4 ****!

Burninglove

I'll read any other stories you post and I would like to see a continuation of this story, it could run for a while right up to marriage and a new baby to cement a relationship. C

She needs to drop the pill. He needs to fill her pussy with enough seed to give her a baby bump

I would love it if you could find the time to do a final proof-read of this and fix up the little typos and missed punctuation. Not meaning to be pedantic, it's just a great short story that deserves to be polished! Really nice balance between story and action, heartfelt and sexy, I love to see stories like this on literotica. Thanks for your hard work :)

Not bad but this is more a romance story than a LW story. Check the categories.

Excellent - it may be your first story but you clearly have talent. Looking forward to reading more of your work

Excellent first story! Spelling and punctuation were first rate. That makes the story flow and easto understand. Well done!!