by hairyhunny
I really enjoyed the story and the dynamics of it can't wait to read the 2nd part
You have to have some realism in your story. 18 and 22 year old siblings do not "play doctor". Perhaps you could have found a way to make it work but as it is, the situation and dynamic between the siblings just doesn't make any sense.
I liked your style. You should slow down and put more detail into what your characters are thinking and feeling.
I liked it!
An ok story I enjoyed reading it. Having had sister and current GF both use me as a patient over the years playing DR.
I really enjoy this type of story wish more writers wrote brother and sister medical tales.
Having had sister and GF each accompany me to visits to a Urologist at different times I enjoyed them seeing the full exam and know afterwards that they both enjoyed viewing it.
An 18 and 22 year old who think that two girls can get pregnant when having sex? Seriously? How dumb do you think people are? This is utterly ridiculous!
some very good advise. So sad so many others must resort to name calling and other things they should have been raised not to do. Very immature in my book, and there is a lot of it done here in comments.
Good story. 5/5r
So the brother is totally cool with his best friends seeing his sister naked and being a slut too. Well the brother is a certified asshole and sis seems to be a world class whore. Sorry but don't care what happens to whores and pricks who don't care for their family. 1 star
It started good and promised to be a hot story. Then it started going downhill. Before long, it was terrible.
He will have to get his Mom so hot that she will join the party. It was a good story, especially for a first attempt.
Those who criticised this writer are obviously far superior, right?
Well, use some of that great insight to improve your critique. Thanks to your mockery, and harshness, this writer probably gave up.
You experts should know the courage it takes to publish, especially this genre.
As for prostates, bra clips and other mistakes; the lesson should be for all of us- we are allies, surely?
I'm sure females preferences about anal sex differ.
Learn how to review constructively like you are capable.
What a fantastic sister he has, I remember playing doctors and nurses, but it never went as far as this story. bring on the next chapters please.
Not only is the writing pathetic, the author should check his basic facts. Women don't have prostates (and the spelling is PROSTATE, not prostrate as you so idioitcally typed). My god, what crap.
that was soooo hot, I've wanted to fuck my sister for as long as I can remember and well....... WOW. your an amazing writer.
Another 8 inch longest and thickest she has ever seen.
And 8 clasps on a bra LOL.
Oh my god. That has got to be one of the hottest stories I have ever read. I am so horny right now just thinking about that. I want to have a brother so he can fuck me and get me pregnant. I am soooo wet.
Can't wait for the second chapter to happen.Does Mom get in on the fun now??
just 2 things to say 1) ur a fucking retard if ur knit picking about a girl have a prostrate exam thats not even the point of the story! get over it and stop being such pricks 2) that was an incredible story ignore the pricks who can't get over prostate exams (their jealous that the girl got it and not them anyway) u must keep writing this series the first chapter was amazing u have wonderful talent
Loved it! Seems like mom is a master also! Mm mm mm some body needs to make sure he takes his vitamins!
Yes, there were minor issues, but I wouldn't have noticed them if other people hadn't mentioned them. I can't wait to see what mom's gonna do!
What could have been a hot story was muddled by silliness (aureole the size of tennis balls, eight clasps on a D cup bra, a prostate on a woman, to name a few), and very sloppy writing. Keep writing if you enjoy doing so, but please do some research and editing before posting!
Great story, really want a sequal. Only problem is the prostate thing, girls don't have one.
That was sooo hot! First time writing too! You absolutely have to continue the story! Your story is one of the best and most original stories I have read in some time.
You may well be a pervert but your story is fucking hot . I just can't imagine someone as horny as his sister wanting to get pregnant .Nympho's would rather stay childless and just keep fucking .
I loved your story and can't wait to read the next part. It was so hot to read the part where she wants her brother to make her pregnant. Most brothers have thought about fucking and getting their sisters pregnant but most find it too taboo.
That is why, unlike you, they don't like anything up their ass
This story sounds like the beginning of something great and wonderful in that family. Nice that the mom is a gyno and has a set up in the house too. Will there be a full examination of mom like of sis?? God I hope so!!