Playing the Game

"What gave you that idea?" I asked.

"I was just wondering," she answered. "I stayed with my parents in Edinburgh over the summer. One night I was in a bar in town with some friends and I saw Jane Dunbar and Annie Malone with a couple of guys. There was some serious kissing and cuddling going on, so I thought maybe you and Annie had split up."

"Thanks for telling me," I said. "Annie stayed with Jane for a few weeks in Edinburgh. It was a bit naughty of her if she was kissing other guys, but I'm sure there's nothing serious for me to worry about."

Sheena seemed a bit perturbed her revelation hadn't produced more of a reaction from me, but then she shrugged and finished her coffee. "I suppose it's really none of my business," she said, "but I thought you needed to know what might be going on behind your back."

Annie hadn't yet agreed to marry me when she was staying with Jane in Edinburgh and none of our friends knew we were headed for the altar, but I thought it was a good time for us to discuss our expectations of one another. After what Sheena told me, I decided Annie and I should clear the air. I needed to have full confidence in my fiancée before buying her a diamond ring.

I made a simple ragu and pasta for dinner that evening and we got round to talking about how being engaged meant we were committed to one another.

"Someone saw you kissing some guy in a bar in Edinburgh," I told her. "I'm disappointed, but it was before we got engaged. Things have changed now we're committed to one another. It's not some sort of game we're playing, so from now on there should be no fooling around with anyone else. Just remember it's as easy as ABC. Annie plus Bill equals Couple."

Annie looked thoughtful for a moment and then she admitted there had been one night in Edinburgh when her behaviour hadn't been as good as it should have been. "We had a few drinks with a couple of guys. It was a spur of the moment thing and nothing happened apart from some kissing. Even though it was before I agreed to marry you I knew it wasn't the right thing to do, so I went to confession."

"I hope that helped," I said. "From what I understand, confession is supposed to be about acknowledging sinful thoughts or actions and it's an act of repentance. It's not supposed to be a magic button you can press to re-start your life with a clear conscience."

I felt reassured Annie had taken my words to heart and nothing more was said about what happened in Edinburgh. Instead, we concentrated on living in the present and looking forward to our future together.

By this time we had chosen the subjects for our eventual qualifications. I chose Political Science and Economics and Annie chose Geography, possibly because it seemed less challenging. From my brief chat over coffee with Sheena Wong, I knew she had chosen Psychology.

Of course, the big event for Annie and me that year was celebrating our engagement during the winter holiday break. We spent Christmas with her family and then New Year with mine in Glasgow. Things seemed to be going well and we enjoyed congratulations and best wishes from our friends at university after the New Year. Annie flaunted her diamond ring, purchased with the last of my inheritance from my grandmother.

There were no academic field trips for students specialising in subjects like political science, economics, philosophy or psychology. However, during the spring break there was a three week field trip to Italy for third year students of geography. Annie was excited to be going abroad for the first time and more so because Italy was famed for its delicious food, its stylish and fashionable clothing and the friendliness of its people.

A couple of weeks after she got back from Italy, having missed spending Easter with her family, Annie decided to visit them for a long weekend. I needed to catch up on my studying as a consequence of all the part-time work I had been doing as a barman, so I opted to stay behind.

Early on Saturday evening I was sitting in a corner of the lounge bar in the Students' Union, reading a textbook and nursing a pint of McEwan's Eighty Shilling Ale, when I heard a polite cough.

A well dressed young man was standing in front of me with a friendly smile plastered on his face. He looked a bit like a young Elvis Presley, with a handsome face topped by a mop of black hair.

"Excuse me," he said in an Italian accent.

"Hi," I replied, "Can I help you?"

"One of the guys over there said you might know where I could find Annie Malone. Do you know her?"

"Yes, I know her, but why are you looking for her?" I asked, guardedly.

"I got to know her in Italy last month, so I decided to come to Scotland and visit her. I don't have her address, but I know she is studying geography at this university."

I didn't like what I was hearing, but maybe there was an innocent explanation. After all, Annie and a bunch of classmates had stayed in a student hostel in Italy, so making the acquaintance of a random Italian was entirely possible.

"I'm afraid she's not here at the moment," I told him. "She's gone to visit her family in England for a few days. I'm sure she'll be disappointed to have missed you. Who can I say came to see her?"

"My name is Alfredo Bertolini," he replied. "It's a pity Annie's not here at the moment, but I can come back in a few days and try again. My uncle and aunt own an Italian restaurant in Edinburgh and I will be staying with them for a short while. If you see Annie, please tell her Fredo was looking for her."

He was about to leave, but while he had been talking I decided I needed to know more about his connection with Annie. "Wait a minute," I said, getting to my feet. "Let me buy you a beer before you go back to Edinburgh."

Fredo readily accepted my offer. He sat down and made himself comfortable while I went to get him a pint. I had a bad feeling about Fredo's interest in Annie and I struggled to keep my emotions in check, but I managed to get Fredo to open up a bit about what had gone on in Italy. He relaxed when I told him that Annie and my girlfriend were very close and that's how I knew Annie.

Fredo spoke excellent English and he recounted in some detail how he met Annie and her classmates in a bar one evening, not long after they arrived in his home town. He got together with Annie and after that she was with him whenever she was not busy with her field trip assignments. According to Fredo, he took Annie to some great restaurants, drove her around in his Alfa Romeo to do some sightseeing and she more or less moved into his apartment for the entire three weeks of her field trip. Fredo said he knew Annie was special when they made love the first night they met.

"I would never have expected it from an English girl," he said. "She makes love like a wild animal. She even makes a sound like a cat when she has her orgasmo. Our feelings for one another are so strong it was impossible not to follow her here. I am hoping we can make a life together."

Annie did indeed make a mewling noise when she came, so what Fredo was telling me was undeniable evidence they had been screwing.

"She was born in Ireland, so she's actually Irish," I said, aware I was wound up tighter than a coiled spring as his words had swiftly destroyed my world. "That might account for being a bit wild. Does she know how you feel about her?"

"Sure," said Fredo. "I told her I love her and she told me she loves me, but we didn't plan anything. After she left to go back to Scotland I felt so much emptiness in my life that I had to come here and find her."

"I see," I said, as my mind was racing. "I know Annie will be back late on Tuesday, so I suggest you come back on Wednesday. She has some classes that day, but I will show you where to find her that evening."

It was obvious Annie and Fredo had enjoyed a significant physical encounter, but I doubted there was much real emotional substance to the affair. Fredo had to search for her, because Annie hadn't given him any personal contact information, so it seemed she wasn't intending to keep in touch with him. The more Fredo talked about Annie, the more it sounded like he was in lust, not love. He had come to Scotland, not because he was in love, but because he wanted more of what he had enjoyed for three weeks in Italy.

I didn't like Fredo and not just because he had an affair with Annie. Worse than that, he was a braggadocio, openly boasting of his amorous deeds. Fredo was as discreet as a brick through a jeweller's window at midnight, not caring who heard about what he got up to with Annie. If that was his idea of love, it was an uncaring and brutal machismo version.

As far as I was concerned Fredo was a horrible person, but I tried my best to appear friendly towards him. After we finished our beers we walked about a mile along the road together and I showed him where to find Annie on Wednesday evening, then he headed for the railway station to get a train back to Edinburgh.

Annie and I had just finished our dinner on Wednesday evening when the doorbell rang. We were at my place and I made sure I was busy doing the washing up, so she went to the door.

"Ciao, bella!" Fredo's greeting resounded through the small apartment.

I had hung back, but I quickly made my way towards the front door to witness the car crash of relationships taking place there. I heard Annie urgently whispering, "You can't be here. How the hell did you find me?"

"I told him you'd be here," I said, coming up behind her. "Here's your coat. I'm sure Fredo will help you put it on. Off you go and don't bother coming back."

"Wait, wait, wait..." she stuttered, as I pushed her out the door. "I can explain."

"No need," I replied. "Fredo told me all about it."

I closed and locked the door behind them and leaned against it as the pain of my heartache threatened to overwhelm me. For the next ten minutes the doorbell rang repeatedly and Annie knocked on the door, shouting for me to open it. I had retreated to my bedroom and eventually she must have given up and gone away, because the noise stopped.

Maybe Fredo got lucky after the confrontation that Wednesday evening, but I really didn't care. I had been betrayed and my heart was broken. Over the next few weeks I became withdrawn and depressed, avoiding anywhere I thought Annie might turn up. I don't know whether she tried to get hold of me, but I doubt it. Fredo would have told her about our conversation. The cat was out of the bag and I expect she knew any effort to try and get back together with me was a lost cause.

Jim Mitchell tried to help me climb out of the pit of misery into which I had fallen. Getting very drunk was not my style and after a particularly lengthy session of drinking beer with Jim one evening and a mind-numbing hangover the next morning I resolved to pull myself together and concentrate on getting through my end of year exams.

Sheena Wong found me studying in the Social Sciences library one afternoon and dragged me off to the cafe for a cup of coffee. Everyone knew Annie and I had broken up and the engagement was off. Sheena said she was sorry to hear about my break up with Annie, but she thought I needed to talk about it.

"Annie has been telling everyone you stepped out on her with someone else, which is why she broke off the engagement."

"But she didn't break off the engagement," I said. "I broke it off, because she had an affair with an Italian guy."

"I hate to tell you this, but maybe your break up with Annie was going to happen sooner or later," said Sheena. "From what I've heard, Jane and some of her friends were encouraging Annie to play the field and try out other guys. I don't think Annie was ever really serious about being engaged to you. She probably just liked the idea of getting a diamond ring."

I was shocked by what Sheena told me, but I was trying to concentrate on studying for the upcoming exams and avoid thinking about Annie. It was only after I got back to Glasgow at the beginning of the summer break and had to explain to my parents why I split up with Annie that I faced the fact the girl with whom I had been in love was not real. Close personal relationships are usually built on a balance of give and take, but in my relationship with Annie she had mostly taken and I had mostly given. She was seriously lacking in love and respect for me and now I knew I couldn't trust her either.

With the exception of Jim Mitchell, I had no contact with my fellow students during that summer break. I was lucky to get a summer job in the garage again and it was a welcome distraction. Like me, Jim was staying with his parents in Glasgow, so we got together for beers from time to time. We decided we would share a small apartment again in our final year and we managed to get a rental contract for the same place as before.

The start of my final year at university was frantic, with assignments, essays, reading lists, tutorials and lectures. I'm sure it was no different for everyone else aiming to get a good honours degree. I saw Annie on campus a couple of times and I know she saw me, but that ship hadn't just sailed, it had crashed onto the rocks, broken in two and sunk without trace. I no longer wore rose tinted spectacles and was fully aware she was very different from the person I had thought she was.

A few weeks before the winter holiday break Sheena Wong once again found me in the library, asked me how I was doing and invited me to join her for coffee.

"I hope you're not wasting any time worrying about Annie," Sheena told me as I sipped my coffee. "She's far from heartbroken. Annoyance seems to be the main emotion she's shown since you broke up. She thought she was firmly in control of the relationship and she should have been the one to decide when to call it quits."

"That would explain why she put a different spin on the story," I said.

"Well, she's making the most of her newly single status. She spent most of the summer break this year out on the prowl with Jane in Edinburgh again," said Sheena.

"You were good enough to tell me what you saw last summer," I said. "I didn't believe it could be anything serious, but I've had time to reflect on things. She was on the pill before she went to stay with Jane in Edinburgh last summer, so it's very possible she was doing more than just kissing other guys."

To my consternation, Sheena seemed amused.

"Sorry," she said. "I can't help it, but I was thinking of the title of that funny American movie that was in the cinema recently."

Her sharp wit made me smile.

"I get it," I said. "Fun with dick and Jane."

"So it seems," said Sheena. "I heard she's sleeping around quite a lot nowadays. Evidently she prefers final year medical, dental and law students, so she's focusing on trying out the guys with good earning potential."

"How do you know all this?" I asked, amazed at Sheena's revelations.

"Women discuss all sorts of things," Sheena said. "It's no big deal, but I thought if you knew it might help you get over her. You got hurt, but that's what happens when you have a strong attraction to people that aren't necessarily good for you. You must admit she turned out to be very different from the sweet, innocent girl you thought she was."

"I'm still trying to understand what happened," I said.

"She played you for a fool, Bill," said Sheena. "That's what happened. I'm sure she liked you well enough to begin with, but she's a user. I don't mean she's using drugs. She's manipulative. She was using you. Maybe it didn't start that way, but think of all the things you did for her and ask yourself what she did for you. Then you went and put a ring on her finger. She liked having that diamond ring, but she also wanted to see what she could get elsewhere."

"With hindsight I think Annie had no qualms about playing around with other guys," I said. "She regularly went to mass and confession, so cheating wasn't a problem as far as she was concerned. It was all part of the game. Any time she cheated she could go to confession, wipe her slate clean and start all over again with no guilt and no repercussions."

"My goodness!" exclaimed Sheena. "Not only was she using you, but she was also using her God! Her visits to the confessional are more about her need for a handy ritual to clear her conscience, rather than any admission of sin or guilt. If her God exists, I bet He or She will be very annoyed!"

A few days after that conversation with Sheena I had a lightbulb moment. It wasn't just any old 40 watt lightbulb. It was a floodlight casting a bright beam of light on my relationship with Sheena Wong. It made me realise Sheena had fallen for me when we got together in first year, but she saw I was infatuated with Annie, so she set me free to let me pursue her rival. That was the real reason why Sheena had broken up with me at the end of first year.

Sheena had hoped I would come to my senses, but it must have seemed more unlikely when I put a ring on Annie's finger. Although I couldn't see it, Sheena had more than an inkling I was headed for heartbreak, so she had tried to help me remove my rose-tinted spectacles and see the real Annie. At the same time she knew it was up to me to make my own way in life and decide what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be with. In a nutshell, Sheena had been waiting for me to wake up and smell the coffee while Annie played me for a fool.

I didn't bother asking Annie Malone to give me back the diamond ring I had given her. It was tarnished with the memory of her betrayal and in any case it was my fault for giving her the ring. The loss of my green football shirt was annoying, but I bought a brand new one, just like I bought a brand new and better quality diamond ring for Sheena Wong.

After we graduated, Sheena and I moved to Glasgow and got married. Sheena eventually became a partner in a big HR consultancy, using her professional skills to find and place people in top executive management posts. I worked my way up from management trainee to Director of Procurement in an international whisky company, buying everything from raw ingredients, equipment and packaging to transport, distribution and marketing services. At home, Sheena and I tried to be the best parents in the world to our two wonderful daughters.

Every year Sheena and I got a newsletter from the university's Alumni Society and then one year we also got invitations to a 25 year reunion of our Social Sciences graduation year group. Sheena was scathing about the idea when I suggested it might be fun.

"Why on earth would you want to go back to our old alma mater to meet up with a bunch of strangers? We've stayed in touch with our friends from back then and I'm pretty much up to date with all the gossip on the grapevine."

"Just curious," I replied.

Sheena knows me better than I know myself. And she's a psychologist.

"If you're wondering what happened to Annie Malone," she said, "she's been married and divorced three times, has no children, lives somewhere in the north of England and works as an administrator in a local government office."

"Not that I'm particularly interested," I replied unconvincingly, "but how the heck do you know all that?"

"Friends of friends," said Sheena, with a knowing grin. "Women talk, as I think I've told you before. Of course, you have to remember that the information flows in both directions. Just as I know what's going on with Annie Malone, I'm sure she's heard we're happily married, we have two beautiful daughters, we have a lovely home and we live and work in Glasgow. Still think it might be fun to go to that 25 year reunion?"

I'm not a complete idiot, so I dropped the idea like a hot potato. I also made a mental note to give my wife an extra portion of love and affection to make up for my stupid suggestion. Maybe red roses, dark chocolates and a bottle of her favourite champagne would also help make amends for my folly.