Post-Modern Sitcom Family

"How are we gonna work this out? I mean I don't want to put us or the kids through this."

"Listen. I won't fight with you over custody, just as long as I still get to visit the kids on holidays and some weekends. And if you ever need a reliable babysitter, you know who to call."

He turned to Joan and said, "I think this is the end of our sessions. Sorry you couldn't fix our marriage."

"My job was never to fix your relationship. My job was to help you be honest with yourselves and each other. And now that you're no longer my client, Mick, can I interest you in drinks, dinner and perhaps a little more this Friday?"

"My God, Joan! How did you ever get a license to practice?"

******************************

A few weeks later, on a Saturday afternoon, they were wrapping up the first episode of the final season of the show. Judy was not looking forward at all to heading home. Mick had moved out earlier in the week, and yesterday he had picked up the boys from school to spend the weekend helping him move into his new place. That meant she was spending the weekend alone for the first time in over 20 years. Sonia and her husband had invited her out, but it didn't feel right without Mick. Jeff—who played her brother on the show—had invited her over to hang out with him and his husband, but she really didn't want to be hanging out with happy couples.

In addition to her newfound loneliness, she was also upset about the show ending. It had been her entire world for the last ten years and the thought of losing her friends as they pursued new ventures made her melancholy. She would miss Sonia, who she loved like a sister. She would miss Jeff, who had gradually become her GBF.

But most of all, she would miss Tara. After the show ended Tara was going to pursue more grown-up and dramatic roles while at the same time attending film school so she could learn to direct. The thought of not spending ten to twelve hours a day with Tara seemed inconceivable. She had become the most important part of Judy's life over the last few years. So much so, that Judy had accidentally fallen in love with her and ruined her marriage as a result. She had already lost Mick. She couldn't bear to lose Tara as well. But that seemed to be what was happening.

As she was standing alone on the set lost in melancholy thoughts, Tara walked up to her and said, "'Sup?"

"Oh! Uh . . . Hey, Tara."

"You look down."

"Yeah." Judy gave a long sigh. "It's just that with my divorce, and the kids spending the weekend with their dad, I'm kinda depressed."

"Breakups suck. Even when they're amicable. I should know. I broke up with Wes last week." Wes had been Tara's boyfriend for the last two years.

"What?!?! I thought you two were getting along great!"

"We were. He's still my best friend—present company excepted, of course—but we both just realized we're not in love anymore."

"That's too bad. I hope you're coping better than I am."

"Hey! Do you have plans tonight?"

"No, not really. I was just going to have a TV dinner and a glass of wine and go to bed at 9:00."

"Well, then let's go out. Just a couple of sexy single ladies hanging out together at the hottest spots in L.A."

"Oh, honey. I don't think I'd be up for that. With my mood the way it is, I wouldn't be much fun. Plus, I haven't been out to a club in so long . . ."

Tara grabbed Judy's face in her hands and forced her to look directly into her eyes.

"Remember five years ago? I was going through the worst time in my life, and you refused to let me wallow in my pain by myself. You took me in, introduced me to your family and wound up changing my life for the better. It's time I return the favor. You are going out with me tonight. We're going to have fun together. No backing out."

******************

That evening--even though she didn't feel like it--Judy spent about an hour with hair, makeup and clothes. Her short blond waves were now impeccably combed with side-swept bangs covering her forehead and stuck into place with hairspray and bobby-pins. She wore a little more makeup than usual so that her eyes stood out, but not so much that it looked garish. For her outfit that evening she wore a white floral print halter dress with a high ruffed collar and a black waistband. And she decided that since she was going out with someone four inches shorter than herself, she needed to wear flats instead of her usual high heels.

The doorbell rang and she went to get it. On the other side of the door was Tara, looking more like her character on the show than her usual self. She was wearing contacts instead of glasses, and more makeup than she usually wore off-set. Instead of the usual messy topknot, her hair was loose and cascaded down her neck in elegant soft waves. But what Judy really noticed was Tara's outfit. She was wearing a short, black sleeveless cocktail dress with a neckline that plunged down almost to her belly button and barely contained her breasts, even though they were only a B-cup. She also wore a pair of strappy stilettos, making her almost as tall as Judy in her flats. Completing the ensemble were a black pendant that dangled between her breasts and a thin black choker ribbon that made her look innocent and naughty at the same time. Judy realized she was going to have a hard time keeping her lust in check tonight, so she started a mantra in her head. "She's straight and she's too young. She's straight and she's too young."

"C'mon, Judy. The Uber's waiting."

Judy followed Tara to the Range Rover sitting in front of the house and got in the back seat next to her. Judy was visibly nervous, so Tara took her hand and held it on her lap in a comforting gesture. And all the while, Judy was forcing herself to think "She's straight and she's too young. She's straight and she's too young."

They got out at a fancy restaurant where Judy ordered fish and Tara had chicken. Shortly after their meals were served, a paparazzo asked for a picture of them together. They were feeling good, so they decided why not. Tara leaned into Judy's side while Judy put her arm around Tara's back and they both smiled for the camera. Both women's outfits exposed lots of skin, so when Judy's bare arm took in the feel of Tara's bare shoulders and back, the touch was electrifying. And all the while, Judy was forcing herself to think "She's straight and she's too young. She's straight and she's too young."

After dinner, Tara said "Let's go dancing!" And they went to a nearby club. The dance floor was full of people all seemingly Tara's age and younger, all dressed in ways that left little to the imagination. Judy felt terribly out of place and went to the bar to order a scotch. Meanwhile, Tara found her way to the DJ booth, got on the mike and said "Hey, everybody! I'm here tonight with someone special! You probably know her as my mom on TV. In real life, she's my best friend and for my money the sexiest person here. Give it up for Judy Bowden!!!" The crowd cheered. "Who wants to see us dance together?" The crowd cheered even louder.

The DJ played an extra-funky jam and Tara made her way to the bar and grabbed Judy's hand. They made their way to the dance floor and following Tara's lead, Judy playfully bumped and ground against her young friend. And all the while, she was forcing herself to think "She's straight and she's too young. She's straight and she's too young."

After a couple of hours at the club, Judy and Tara decided to call it a night, so they hailed an Uber home. This time, it was a BMW 325. The backseat was cozier than the Range Rover's, so they were sitting much closer together than they were at the start of the evening. Tara lay her head down on Judy's shoulder and said "It was so good hanging out with you like this. No husbands, no boyfriends, no kids, no work. Just us."

Judy had been careful not to get drunk tonight, but she had still had a few, and it was taking all her self-control not to kiss the wonderful creature whose head was buried in the crook of her neck. And with all her might, she forced herself to think "She's straight and she's too young. She's straight and she's too young."

The BMW stopped at Judy's house, and as she got out, she heard Tara behind her saying, "Hey, wait up." Tara got out as well and walked up to the house with her. "I . . . uh . . . I was wondering . . . Can I stay here tonight?"

She's straight and she's too young. She's straight and she's too young. "Oh! Well . . . of course! You know the guest room's always open to you."

"Um. . .that's not what I really meant." Tara took Judy's hand and started drawing circles on it. The way Dana had 30 years ago. The way that always got Judy so turned on. "I was wondering maybe tonight I could sleep in your bed? With you?" Tara pulled Judy's face down to her own and kissed her.

Oh, this felt so good. But wait! She's straight and she's too young! This can't be happening! Judy reluctantly pulled her face away. "Wait a minute. How drunk are you? For God's sake, you're straight!"

"Since when? I've been with girls before. I like girls. Actually, no. I like women. Grownup, tall, blond women. Ever since I was eighteen and my friend's aunt taught me some things at a slumber party she was supposed to be chaperoning. Remember when I gave that interview where I said I play my character as bisexual?"

"Yeah. That was right after I told you about my relationship with Dana. I thought you were just showing support for me, for Jeff, for Riley and Jillian and for all your LGBT fans."

"No, that was as close as my agent would allow me to come out publicly."

"But I've only ever seen you with guys."

"Well, it's true that most of my long-term relationships were with men. In fact, there's only one woman I've ever had serious feelings for." She reached up and kissed Judy again. "I've wanted this for a long time. But I couldn't do anything while you were still married to Mick. And I've seen the way you look at me. I knew you were into women even before you told me about Dana. Now you're single, I'm single. I want to give this a try."

"Okay, okay, you're not straight. But there's still the age difference. You're not even 30 yet, and I'll be 50 in a few months!"

"And most women in their thirties would kill to look like you. Besides, Michael Douglas is 25 years older than Catherine Zeta-Jones and they've been together for 20 years now. Holland Taylor is 30 years older than Sarah Paulson. They're the second-most famous lesbian couple in this town, and nobody gives them crap about the age difference. So I don't see why our age difference should be a problem for us."

She kissed Judy one more time.

"I know you're nervous. This is the first time you've been with anyone besides Mick in over 20 years. I get it. But I want you, and I know you want me too. And for the first time since we've known each other, there's no husband or boyfriend between us. Please?" Kiss. "Just for tonight?" Kiss. "If it doesn't work out, I promise we'll still be friends."

Judy responded by lustfully returning Tara's kisses, then escorting her into the house. Tara followed her into the bedroom. As Judy shut the door, they started kissing again. Judy reached for the hem of Tara's dress and pulled it over her head to expose her breasts and a black thong. Tara's dark nipples were perky and standing at attention. Judy was about to start licking them, but Tara dodged her. "Uh-uh! None of that until we're both naked!" Tara reached behind Judy's neck and undid her ruffed collar, which made the halter drop below Judy's waist. Tara then removed the waistband, and the dress fell in a puddle around Judy's feet.

Judy started blushing again. Her breasts were the same B-cup size as Tara's, but they sagged and her nipples were swollen from age and from having breastfed her two children. She wasn't sure how Tara would react to this, but Tara just smiled and said, "You're beautiful. Just like I knew you'd be. Now let's take our shoes off and get into bed."

Judy kicked off her flats while Tara carefully unfastened her stilettos. This made their height difference more pronounced, but in the moment, they didn't care. Tara ran up to her taller lover, kissed her deeply and practically threw her on the bed. Judy flipped her over and started sucking on Tara's nipples, taking pains to give each one special attention. At the same time, she inserted her hand into Tara's thong, feeling the smoothness of her bald-waxed pussy. She felt around for Tara's clit. Once she found it, she started rubbing it, slowly at first. But as it got harder, she increased her speed. When it was completely engorged, Judy stuck two fingers into Tara's pussy-hole and started pumping. As Tara got wetter, Judy stuck a third finger in as well. Eventually, Tara cried out and came.

While coming down, Tara grabbed Judy's face and hungrily kissed her. "That. . ." *pant* ". . .was the most. . ." *pant* ". . .amazing orgasm I've had in a long time! Please!" *pant* "Please let me return the favor!"

Tara rolled Judy over and started sucking her breasts. "You don't mind that they're saggy?"

"They're still fun to play with. And at least they're not fake. Now let's get back to business, shall we?"

Tara continued to suck on Judy's breasts while at the same time pulling down Judy's panties. Under the panties was a neatly trimmed landing strip. "Oooohhh! I see you prepared yourself for tonight, too. Were you expecting this to happen?"

"Oh, no. Not really. It's mostly just habit, now. I don't like having a mess down there. But now that we're here like this, I'm glad I did it, even if I didn't feel like it."

Tara started kissing and licking around Judy's pussy, never quite making contact.

"Quit teasing, goddammit! I want to feel your tongue on my pussy!"

Tara responded by licking Judy's clit, while pumping her fingers in Judy's pussy-hole as Judy had done to her earlier.

"Yes. . . yes. . . Oh my God yes!!!" As Tara's thrusts became faster, Judy squirted.

"Wow! I thought you were making it up out of pity, but you really have been with women before!"

"I feel lots of things for you, Judy. Admiration, friendship, lust. But pity's not one of them, and I would never have sex with someone just because I felt sorry for them. Now let me sit on your face."

"With pleasure."

Tara rode Judy for about two minutes, when she decided she wanted to take a more active role in their lovemaking, so she lowered herself so that her face was in Judy's pussy. The two of them licked and fingered each other in a 69 position for several minutes. Tara was the first to come because she had been stimulated longer, but Judy's orgasm came only seconds later.

After they had both came, Tara turned herself back around to kiss Judy. The kiss started sweetly at first, but then both women became more aroused and their tongues started wrestling each other. Judy grabbed Tara by the shoulders and changed positions so that they were both sitting upright on the bed. She then put one of her legs over Tara's thigh so that their pussies were touching. After only a few minutes of tribbing, the two of them came together again in a monster orgasm, with Judy squirting again.

As they both came down, Judy placed a gentle kiss on Tara's forehead and said "You were so right. I did need this. I've fantasized about this since the moment I first saw you, but I never thought it would actually happen until now."

"Well, I'm glad I was here to help. Hold me?"

"Of course."

*************************************

Judy awoke the next morning feeling blissful. After twenty years of having a six-foot-two man in her bed, and the last few weeks sleeping alone, it was a pleasant surprise to find this perfect young woman in her arms. With her hair loose and no clothes on, Tara looked positively angelic. Suddenly Judy heard a racket downstairs. At first, she thought it might be a burglar. Then she looked at the clock and realized that this was when Mike was dropping the boys off back home.

The boys! Oh my God! They can't see me naked like this! And how do I explain Tara in my bed?

She quickly threw on a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and headed downstairs. She hadn't had a chance to shower yet, but she hoped that last night's adventures weren't giving off too much of an odor.

"There she is!" Mike was all smiles as he and the kids were in the foyer together, the boys with their overnight bags.

"Hi, Mike. Were they helpful?"

"Yes, they were! You know, maybe we should just pull them out of school, and they can start a moving business."

"Daaaa-ad!"

"Just kidding, guys! So how was your weekend?"

"Well. . .um. . ."

At that moment, Tara came down the stairs dressed in one of Judy's bathrobes. Judy saw her and suddenly forgot about everything else around her. Tara headed straight for Judy. They put their arms around each other and gave each other a good morning kiss. It lasted less than a half-second and it was nothing sexual, just one of those kisses that couples give each other every morning before coffee. But it was certainly a more-than-friends kiss.

"Hi, honey."

"Good morning, Tara. Thanks for last night."

"Anytime. Hey, guys! I was just going to fix omelets for your mother and me. Want some?"

Judy suddenly remembered she and Tara weren't alone. She turned around to see Mick smirking while Ian and Wendell were gape-mouthed in shock.

Mick finally spoke up. "Yeah, with all the work these guys have done, I think they deserve a good breakfast."

"Great! No toast for Mick, grape jelly on multigrain for Wendell and strawberry on honey-wheat for Ian, right?"

"Just like always!"

"I'll get started."

As they made their way to the kitchen, Mick said quietly, "I should have known it was her. And honestly, I'm glad. She's the only person besides us that I completely trust with the kids."

Wendell overheard and asked, "Wait! You knew? Mom, are you gay? Is that why Dad's moving out?"

"Well. . .it's complicated. I like men and women. Your dad knew that ever since we started dating. I'm sorry I didn't come out to you guys sooner, but until a few weeks ago, I thought I'd be with your dad forever, so it seemed pointless. Then when we filed for divorce, I thought I'd tell you when I felt like I was ready to start dating again, but Tara had a different idea. Honestly, I didn't know until last night that she liked women or thought of me that way. Is that okay with you guys? I'd hate for you to get harassed at school because your mom's not 100% straight."

Ian, now a precocious ten-year-old who had skipped a grade and was now starting middle-school, was the first to reply. "It's no big deal. Ms. Jennings and Ms. Lopez are married to each other." Ms. Lopez was his social studies teacher and Ms. Jennings was the assistant principal at his school.

Wendell, now fourteen and starting his freshman year of high school, said, "Actually, it's kind of cool. There's this girl I like who's in the school GSA because her brother is gay. Now I have an excuse to spend more time with her."

Ian had a question. "So is Aunt Tara gonna live with us now?"

"Well, honey . . . it's kind of soon, don't you think? We've only been on one date together and . . ."

Suddenly there was a loud sob, and everyone turned to see Tara crying.

"I know we've only spent one night together, and . . ." *sniff* ". . . I've heard the lesbian U-Haul joke, but . . ." *sniff* ". . . we've been so close for so long. And I love you so much. All of you. Wendell, Ian. Even you, Mick. You've been my family the last five years. I feel closer to you guys than even to my own mom and dad.

"Judy, I would be honored if you would let me live with you as your partner, to help raise the boys and officially be part of your family."

It was now Judy's turn to cry. "I . . . I . . . I don't know what to say." She turned to her family. "What do you think? Wendell?"