PPE

(Cock Gravy can also be put on Cornhole Flakes. From sales we think Cock Gravy has found some other uses, but don't know what they are.)

Hugh came up with Party Piss to replace beer, and Châteauneuf-du-Poopee to replace wine.

Party Piss is to mimic the urine of beer drinkers and contains some real beer and hence alcohol, but not enough to be categorized as an alcoholic beverage. Hugh had a number of beer drinking sessions to match the taste. It comes sachets enough to make one gallon and the key ingredient is urea, of course, with color. (You add your choice of beer, 5 to 10%.) It is used as a party challenge, or by women with a squeezy bottle to jet onto or into their men if they do not feel comfortable giving a golden shower, or it is not convenient, or they just want more than a single bladderful.

It can also be poured on any food you wish.

The wine comes in bottles with a fancy French looking label. Hugh has matched it as closely as he can to my strong morning urine, which is stated on the label.

Châteauneuf-du-Poopee

closely based upon

The Actual Morning Nectar

of Madame Poopee

It comes three versions, the natural, the sweet and the dry. The sweet version contains a little pineapple taste and scent, and a dry version has asparagus. (Both flavors and smells which come through in urine after eating these foods.) The dry is said to be particularly challenging to drink. Limited, but steady, sales ensued.

Basically, Party Piss is half the strength of Châteauneuf-du-Poopee, so people could make up their own wine. However, Hugh made the minor components distinctly different, so that what you get without alcohol is ManPiss (trademarked). The sachet contains a natural product which is quite rank and musky in high concentrations, whereas the wine contains something he thinks is like the female pheromone.

Café Caca gives a proper caffeine hit, but also a distinctive taste and aroma. It is supplied in granules within a standard but boldly labelled disposable coffee cup, to be reconstituted with warm water. The sandwich bar has it ready with water, and uses a microwave to bring it to just above body heat. The water should not be too hot, or the aroma dissipates too quickly. Caca Defec is the caffeine-free version. Carrying the distinctive cup through the street is a means of humiliation, or it can be poured into another container for discretion.

Some men carry a cup around to express their interest, and we have heard of happy relationships which developed as a result.

It was sometimes used as a prank in the office or a challenge like the Crapburgers.

Some enterprising people adapted sex toys so that a cock could piss our liquid onto or into the men. (Mouth and ass, but not recommended by us: we just sell the products for drinking.) Some fans insert Doodoo Balls into a clean ass, to be popped out into a mouth.

I tell the clients that Hugh is my slave, but he is not. He is my obedient servant and the man I love. In his job as a physician, he has to concentrate and make decisions all day -- often difficult and important ones about the health of his patients. When he comes home that all stops. All decisions are by me. What we eat, what we wear, what we do. Much of it is routine, cleaning, washing etc. Everything else is what I tell him. He finds it such a relief that my little demands and punishments are welcome.

We eat what I like, both the same unless he is testing a product. No discussion about meals. If he has time to watch TV (and he usually doesn't) it is my programs. I don't actually punish him much or try to humiliate him. He drinks my pee, not as punishment but just because it amuses me. I prefer a smack on the balls for that purpose.

I don't make him eat shit or even fake shit, because I don't actually like the idea. I would be happier as Madame Peepee, but with Hetty we have a worthwhile business. He tests products, of course in developing the recipes and as quality control, and uses his own as a taste reference, but I don't know about it.

The only thing I do really is to deny Hugh sex. That is, I get all the oral sex I want, and he gets to come a lot less than he would like. But I think it is all the more special when he does.

We established a sort of franchise for piss parlors in several cities. Unlike my parties which were just a hobby, they are commercial concerns. I am always present in costume to make the first piss, and ensure that the first men receive my benefit, for which they pay extra. Officially they only use the fake poop, but I suspect there are other arrangements. I carry a container to collect my pee when travelling as there is always a demand at the other end. I am scrupulous about only providing my own directly, though I could make money by selling pee from other women with my name on it. It's an ethical thing, and I know it would make Hugh very unhappy if I did that.

I want him to be happy. Controlling him, punishing him a little, and denying him sex is all part of it. I start most days with a lazy satisfying pee lying in bed, with Hugh's loving lips making sure that not a drop is spilled. He still hates the taste, which makes it all the more precious in our relationship.

Our business is shit and I am pissing my life away. Living the dream!