All Comments on 'Primal Challenge'

nicely written though i am not sure i get involved with the emotional part in it except the mating point. I wish there are some pages more.

it is well written...is there any more pages would like to read more

The problem here is that it's an excerpt. Not having any background on these characters makes it tough to relate to them. It's pretty well written, although I did see the odd punctuation/grammar problem.

For example, you wrote: "She sat up on his cock now, his eyes closing at the exquisite feel of her silken folds." It's a little awkward, as you go from her POV to his in the same sentence. A small thing, but I wanted to point it out.

This excerpt is good, but it's hard to say much more without the background. Good luck with the story!

purfect length for literotica. for those who want longer go read a book

This has the potential to be a good book, want more!

Title of this comment says it all :)