Princess, Enraptured

"Take it, Princess," he moaned against my ear, hips rocking against me. He felt so big inside of me.

I gasped and whimpered against him. He held me so tightly, as tightly as my pussy held him. I felt so small in his arms, overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure roaring through me with each thrust. I was all his.

"Yes," I gasped agreed moaned

Ellie sighed and pressed her thighs together tightly, taking another sip of her drink as she contemplated her options. She was buzzed and warm in the stomach and face. The scene she'd created had left her wet and aching, exasperated at the impossibility of it -- at least in her own life. She leaned back on her couch, feet tucked beneath a blanket, eager for another warmth on top of her, inside of her.

It had been a rough few years. A divorce, two career changes, and she was only 34. A life of relative monotony with bursts of passion had led her to where she was now; a single woman, still passionate and full of life, but flame wavering in the face of uncertainty and loneliness.

She'd always had fantasies about a life where she gave herself fully to the draw of pleasure and danger. She'd always had a wild streak in her; she liked being controlled in bed, just a little masochistic, liked being called pet names and coerced just a little. She'd played the sub role before to a certain degree, but never as far as she'd wanted. She'd never been in a relationship impacted heavily by D/s dynamics or gone through with an actual consensual non-consent scene. She wanted to, but she'd never been with anyone who could deliver, either because they felt uncomfortable or because she didn't feel comfortable enough with them. But that didn't mean she didn't think about it when she touched herself or that she hadn't looked up a few things online maybe once or twice or many, many times.

But she wanted more. Even more than what traditional BDSM typically offered. She'd been around others dabbling in romantic drug use and the concept intrigued her. She'd been around others living those sorts of lives; her friends in college doing party drugs, ignoring consequences and allowing themselves to be swept up in the moment. But she'd always been restrained in that regard. She was vibrant in personality, eager to try new things like food and traveling and experiences, but she'd never had the right connections into that world. And it was scary without that connection. Her experiences with drug use was limited; she'd smoked weed before she'd had to stop to pass drug tests in the professional world and she'd tried Adderall once for studying when she was younger. But the framing of romantic drug use she'd seen had made her curious. She'd never acted on that curiosity. She likely never would.

Instead, she'd just write about it. Write about another woman who yearned to be called Princess, who ached to be pampered and adored and abused, who wasn't afraid to try whatever her lover gave her. Where mind-altering substances could take her out of her cage of self-awareness. And in real life, she'd try dating apps and to find fulfillment in another career despite having no sense of anchoring.

It had been so much easier before, or at least she liked to remember it that way. Married to Dillon, working at a bank, writing recipe articles for the neighborhood zine to sustain her love for writing. It had been simple and consistent, sustainable. It had also been boring and unfullfilling, but she'd seen it through regardless because of love and her own flawed sense of responsibility. Seven years of marriage, a constant back and forth between her head and heart. Now, she was single and both ached.

Ellie set down the notebook, sucking in a slow breath, closing her eyes. Between her sexual frustration and tipsy buzz, she was antsy in her seat. She could go watch something, or maybe finish off the bottle of whiskey she was slowly working through. But all she wanted was contact and release. Her hand slid down the length of her stomach, covered by the thin material of her tank top, and into her pajama pants. Her fingers found her clit with practiced ease. There was already a dampness there from her thighs shifting together. She bit her lip as she used the pad of her middle finger to swipe a quick circle over the sensitive nub, then circled the finger, briefly, lightly brushing her nail against the tip of it. Another sharp breath.

Her mind wandered to her imaginary lover, dangerous but doting, holding her hands above her head as he rolled the bundle of nerves between his fingers. She mimicked his imaginary fingers spreading the lips of her pussy, delving deeper into her wetness to lubricate them before they shallowly dipped inside of her. It had been a while since she'd been with anyone and it was obvious, the pain at the slight stretch catching her slightly by surprise. She immediately wished they were actually someone else's fingers, bigger, unhesitating in their assault.

Dillon's face flashed in her mind and her brows squeezed together. She pulled her hand free and let out a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding.

Her eyes opened and focused on the notebook in front of her, then shifted over towards her cellphone. Since the divorce, she'd been trying to reconnect with friends and put herself out there again. She wanted to take advantage of this new freedom. She'd never been single for this long, never been able to do whatever she wanted to do. She'd sent a text hours prior to a friend seeing if they'd wanted to hang out, but after not hearing back after an hour or two, she'd turned her phone to silent to focus on writing. Now, she reached over to turn the volume back up. The message icon caught her attention immediately.

Hey girl!! Do you still smoke? Wanna go see Jim?

Ellie blinked and re-read the message a few times, processing. Since leaving her job at the bank and attempting to become a "full time writer", the option of smoking had returned to the table although she'd yet to indulge. Courtney was a functional stoner when the opportunity arose and a stay-at-home mother. She must have been kid-free for the evening. Ellie knew this opportunity was a rare one. She quickly responded.

Not for a while but I could be convinced... What time?

She smiled to herself. She hadn't seen Jim in a long time, not since his divorce. She hadn't known he smoked, but it wouldn't be the first time she'd been in the dark on something like that. Life could be so strange.

She threw her legs over the side of the couch and stretched, then stood slowly. She looked a mess, having spent the day in. She didn't even need to look to know. Her dark, coarse hair was piled atop her head in a messy bun and her face, though complexion relatively clear and skin maintained, was untouched, marred by tired circles and uncovered smile lines. Her pajamas were far from flattering, highlighting the weight gain she'd been struggling with over the last couple of years in her thighs and hips. Though curvy, her figure was not hourglass refined. She was only 5'4, so the weight distribution on her body looked a bit heavier than it actually was had she been a few inches taller -- to her constant dismay. She'd always been confident in her appearance, never having had a problem attracting suitors. She knew she was no knockout by any stretch of the imagination, but she could turn a head or two. Now, though, with everything as it was, she'd been feeling worse and worse about herself. Catching a look at her reflection in the mirror across the living room made her frown and squint.

Her phone buzzed and she looked at it so fast she'd have been embarrassed if anyone else had been there. Anything but thinking about herself.

Now!! Coming for you!

She groaned and hurried to the bathroom to change. Going out was fun, but it always required primping and going outside and yeah, she liked it, but she'd been so comfy all day. She was already pulling off clothes on her way down the hallway, texting with one hand.

Damn, okay, let me get presentable. See you soon.

----

Courtney arrived with a whoop of joy, immediately gathering her friend into her arms. "I'm so excited!" She exclaimed. "It's been so long, El!"

Ellie laughed and squeezed back with matching force. "I've missed you," she said and she meant it.

Being with Dillon had strained a lot of relationships in her life. He'd been a nice enough guy, but his reserved personality and antisocial ways had resulted in a disconnect between her and people she'd once spent so much time with and had so much fun with. Her complacency with him had left her feeling dull, not wanting to go out, instead opting for work and devoting herself to her marriage. A foolish commitment in hindsight. Now, with Courtney in front of her, the world felt like it had opened up.

Courtney pulled away, beaming. "You ready, girl? We bout to get blazed!"

Ellie snickered. "God, I hate you. Let's go."

Climbing into the car, Ellie felt her nerves fray a bit. She hadn't smoked in years. But Courtney's presence kept her grounded. They'd known each other since they were teenagers, gone to college together. Courtney had seen Ellie at her worst, and she'd been the first one there when Ellie finally decided to file for divorce.

It was hard to make time to hang out, given their different lives. Especially when she'd been with Dillon; her always working, Courtney always with her kids. Even now, this was one of the few times they'd been able to spend time together since the divorce.

"Is Tony watching Kay and Sam?" Ellie asked. Courtney nodded, practically bouncing in place.

"Yuuup! Him and PawPaw." She grinned. "Jim texted me right after you and I knew I had to make this happen." She gave Ellie a playful slap on the thigh. "You deserve it, bitch."

Ellie slapped back at her hand, raising her brows in fake disbelief and judgement. "Woooow, so you just left your family to get me high? Unbelievable. Can't believe it. Wow."

"Oh, fuck you," Courtney laughed. "I should have left your ass at home."

"But you didn't," Ellie teased, grinning wide. "Dumb bitch."

She felt in her element again. She'd always been a feisty person with a weak filter. She'd had to learn to dim her brightness for so many years. She'd had to play a role. Not anymore.

They continued to banter back and forth, reminiscing over college stories and talking about Jim. As they approached his house, she glanced over at Courtney.

"Since when does Jim smoke?"

Courtney stifled a laugh. "Since he started living with Wally."

Ellie's eyes practically bugged out of their sockets. "Wally? Wally Costa?"

"Yuuuup." She pulled into the driveway, only one car parked there.

"I thought he was in jail!"

"He was," Courtney said with a shrug. "Then he got out and went right back to slinging."

"What the fuck?" Ellie's face contorted in confusion and disbelief. "Is he really still that stupid?"

"Yep, and his stupid is our gain!" She threw the driver side door open and hopped out. "Jim's got that good shit now, and he's not an idiot so I figure it balances out."

Ellie got out of the car as well, a bit awkwardly, staring up at the house. A moderate sized house in a middle class neighborhood, unassuming. She caught her friend's gaze across the hood of the car. "If we die, I'm going to beat your ass."