All Comments on 'Prisoner 4053 Ch. 06'

And after an hour would feel like they were pulled out of their socket. After a day, she would be begging for death. She wouldn’t be able to breathe as her chest would be compressed and her muscles exhausted from opening up to get oxygen into her lungs.

I don’t care if that’s what you’re going to do; just don’t pretend that there would be no damage or longer lasting physical trauma. My surgeon told me once: “The body is quick to forgive; but it’s never forgets”. Every injury is a small scar and as the scars add up, the body becomes more and more damaged.

Read it again. She was sitting, with her hands tied above her head.

Hey, thanks for your comment. She was sitting on the bed with her arms above her head, not bearing her weight. I would imagine it would be uncomfortable, but not torturously so. I see that that was unclear, and that's cool, that's part of what happens when you treat a writing project as a fun diversion and not a serious effort worthy of things like beta readers and editing. Unfortunately(?), that's all this is.

I appreciate and share your interest in accuracy!

I still hate him with a passion, and keep hating him even more for that casual comment of how sexy a helpless captive woman is. He is just evil. Please let him meet a gruesome end, but please let him first of all be fully faced with his own evilness.

And I still can't wrap my head around the stealing of a person's voice, it truly is a horrible safety hazard. I keep waiting for something bad to happen... You are a very good writer to manage to create so much anxiety in your reader :)

It doesn’t really work, the emotional and psychological trauma from that kind of rape torture and abuse is enough to damage someone for life, that’s assuming they retain a will to live. It doesn’t matter that it’s legal and acceptable in the dystopian society you’ve created. Removing someone’s capacity for speech is unnecessarily cruel. Clearly the way she is being treated is to dehumanise her as a person for the length of her prison term, which speaks volumes about how broken that society is.

I can only imagine that if she still doesn’t have the ability to use her hands that perhaps it’s been done to cut down the possibility of suicide. There’s no possibility of rehabilitation inmates are at very high risk of a psychological breakdown. I expect there would be a high suicide rate after release from prison.

I did catch one comment about someone saying that the man raping her said a captive, bound helpless woman is erotic. It’s close to being true because one of the major attractions for a sexual submissive is that the illusion of ‘feeling helpless’ that is achieved in a properly functioning BDSM relationship, both parties find is arousing. That doesn’t apply in this instance because she is unable to give consent therefore it’s legalised rape which is pretty sickening.

As to having her hands bound above her head, if done for anything more than 20mins it would cause excruciating pain on the joints and muscles as well as acutely painful pins and needles sensations in her hands and wrists regardless of whether or not they are bearing any weight. Then further pain and numbness when her arms are released. Naturally all of this is non erotic pain. Try holding your arms above your head and see how quickly it gets painful. There’s virtually nothing in the way of oversight in this prison system, being checked over by a doctor won’t prevent pain, torture, rape, abuse or psychological terror. It’s not like she can tell anyone if he decided to continually taunt her telling her that she will never get away from him because he’s going to keep her locked up forever after she gets released from ‘prison’. Her abuser has easy access to groom her psyche exactly the same way that paedophiles do.

I didn’t read all of the chapters I just read the first one and parts of this one. Couldn’t find anything sexy/ erotic about this at all, it’s more depressing than anything else. Still you’ve definitely managed to elicit an emotional response from your reader. In case you’re wondering I started reading because it was listed as BDSM, which obviously it isn’t, then morbid curiosity made me skim this chapter as far as the end of the doctors visit. I definitely didn’t want to read any more.

Best of luck with your writing.

Tess (UK)

The great thing about written stories is that you don’t have to read them if you don’t like them

This series was very good, in my opinion.

I got that she was sitting with arms raised up.

What you do right for me, intended or not, is the absolute control of our heroine as she enters this admittedly unlikely alternate world.

Thanks for you efforts. Please write more. Maybe follow Nate around n a day at work.

Technical note-

As you say, it is not worth great effort, but you should introduce character names sooner.