Probed

He grinned back, then said, "I feel so happy! It's like everything is right with the world, though my mind tells me it isn't."

If you're feeling what I'm feeling, "happy" is a good way to put it."

"It was like an hour-long orgasm," her son said, cuddling up to his mother. She didn't object or make him move.

"What do you know about orgasms?" She cocked an eyebrow.

The young man snorted. "Mom, I'm twenty years old! I've been having them for years, now."

"Ah. Yeah. I guess you have, haven't you? Was it better than your, um, previous experience?"

"Yeah, definitely."

The mother sighed. "Yeah, me too." Her stomach felt like a warm sunny day, and she stretched with delight, and she glanced at the almost comically large balls under his normal-sized cock... no, "penis", she corrected herself. Damn, it looked like the lines were blurring in her own head. She'd have to try to fix that, wouldn't she?

Her son put his head on her shoulder and cuddled into her again. It felt... nice. Comfortable. Comforting. Right.

At least they'd both stopped oozing and dripping for the moment. A sharp fear suddenly stabbed at her -- were these changes permanent? Her son would probably never be able to wear pants again! That last observation caused her to smirk, a reaction she immediately covered up with a frown.

"What?" her son asked. He'd been gazing at her face from her shoulder.

I was just thinking that you might have to get used to wearing kilts. I don't think you can put all that away in a pair of Levi's."

"Oh. Shit. Do you think they'll let us go? Do you think all this is permanent?"

"I really don't have a clue, not a single clue, but I don't think anybody on Earth has the technology or drugs that they're using on us. I hope that once they've got whatever they're looking for, they will..." she paused, thinking, "...put us back, exactly like we were."

"Yeah." he sighed.

His mother looked down at his face, and suggested, "Let's try to get some sleep, if we can. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted."

"Yeah. I can hardly keep my eyes open," he admitted.

The lights, which had been bright, if indirect, faded a bit, very slowly.

Were they listening? Probably, she thought. Maybe... maybe if they were, and heard and understood her wishing to be returned to their normal lives without any of the... 'fluid generation' that had been inflicted on them, and hopefully without the memories of what happened here, maybe if they understood, they'd be willing to grant those wishes.

As she was drifting off to sleep, she wondered if that was actually what she wanted -- she felt more sexually satisfied and happy than she'd felt since her husband, her son's father, had died when her son was twelve.

That, she decided, was an unacceptable comparison, a truly terrible thoughts to have, and she should weed those all of them out as soon as she could, after she slept.

* * *

The system monitored twenty-four different pairs of humans in their cells, which could be divided further into four groups within the different parameters of the investigation. Its AI re-edited its summary of results in the language of its creators, adding, "...unable to create the effects described in the source material as 'magic' used by the individual referred to as 'Lenny the lecherous leprechaun' without using hormones, chemicals and varying amounts of technological manipulation."

"The effects are replicable, but only to a degree. One subgroup exemplifies this effectively -- the lactation subgroup, in which the females of each pair are stimulated to produce a substance known as 'milk' from glands located on the front of the female body. The analytic experimentation system was unable to completely replicate the effects as described in the source document, as the conditions under which the female's continued survival are surprisingly narrow. The amount of 'milk' described as produced by the corresponding female in the source document dehydrates and leeches out the nutrients necessary for continued biological functioning. Later experiments demonstrated that adjusting the male of the pair to produce large amounts of semen to replace the proteins, nutrients, and water lost during the process of lactation can offset the nutrient and fluid loss to the female. The 'milk' and semen must be modified to become higher nutrient sources, and balancing the production between the two is required for continued biological functioning for both members of the pair as long as additional, supplementary, nutrients and liquid water are added. The human biology is not as efficient as ours, and operates at a loss."

"Experimentation has shown that the quantity of milk produced in the source document cannot be produced safely by human females without significant modification. Researches into the 'magic' and 'leprechauns,' creatures who use 'magic,' have revealed multiple, complex theoretical frameworks which are confusing and contradictory. No actual leprechauns were able to be found by this system, although this difficulty is reputed to be a major talent possessed by leprechauns, so the inability of the research system to locate one may not be indicative."

"The originator of the original source document, one Kris P. Kreme, was unable to be located."

"Further research on 'magic' in the records of the human species has revealed that 'magic' can be used for far more than reproduction-related purposes, and most relevant to our concerns, can be used in warfare and defense. References to these uses are quite common in the knowledge bases and information systems of the humans."

"This system recommends quaratining this planet and solar system, as there is no reason to expect that 'magic' would not be used against the homeworld or invasion forces if normal invasion practices are used on Earth. This system is unable to sufficiently explain these phenomena at our current technological level."

"End Report."