Professional Excellence Ch. 11

Stella and Ruth raised their hands. I took them in order.

'You got any more gigs coming up? I'd work with you again in a shot.'

'No, I think this is my lot. But thanks. Ruth?'

'You know what you said about problems. Did you mean it?'

'Of course.'

'It's just that those tables.'

Stella was nodding in agreement.

'They're too close together. Stops us moving around freely. You know, giving everyone their money's worth. They do it like that so we have to squeeze by and they can touch us up. Its the same for the girls serving the food.'

Monty slammed his hand down on the table. Everyone shut up.

'If Little Wanker's for his friends. What name do people who really don't like him use?'

'Tosser' - Michael

'Bastard'- Ruth

'I believe there are Latin terms which are quite apposite' - Pete

'Let's not go there' - me

'He told me that's how the tables are always arranged for lodge nights. I took him at his word. Sorry' - Monty.

Monty was on his mobile requesting, in icily polite terms, that a squad of table movers get in here five minutes ago. He looked up and asked if the two strippers would help with directing them. I took them on one side while he went searching for his movers.

'Could I ask you a favour?'

'I think we owe you.'

'It'd be a great help if only one of you at a time assisted Monty. I'd like the other to move about the room so George can follow you with his spot.'

'Is there a problem?'

'I hope not. But the Little Wanker has sacked all the skilled lighting people. And we discovered about an hour ago - how shall I put this? - that George might not be as familiar with the female form as he could be.'

'Ah, ha. He's a virgin, you mean.'

'I don't know about that, Ruth. But certainly not with women disporting themselves with the artistic aplomb I think you two will.'

'I'm not sure what any of that means.'

'She doesn't want him wanking off and shaking the light while we're stripping.'

'Got you. You want us to get naked now? Help him along?'

'Definitely not. There's going to be at least half-a-dozen Georges in here soon. We'd be all night. '

I left them to decide their own rota. I sent George back to the gantry and Ruth waved at him when the spot came on. As she started gliding between the chairs I could see we would be in for a good show.

Michael and the rest were at a smaller table set up on the stage. He was running through a few of the tricks we'd be doing in between courses. They were all appreciative, particularly when he did one of his favourite illusions - getting punters to find cards in their pockets. Velda was slightly concerned when hers was in the waistband of her panties.

'So how about the rest of you?"

Pete had put out a collection of animals, flowers and geometric constructions he'd brought with him. Some were incredibly intricate and all of them obviously needed a high degree of skill. But they lacked pizzazz.

'I thought these might be better for the show though. More in keeping with the event. He worked busily at two squares of thin paper hiding the first model until he'd completed the second. He placed a tiny cock and vagina in front of us when he'd done.

'Now you're talking.'

'Only takes a couple of minutes and I've drawn an instruction sheet for anyone who wants to try themselves.'

'I'll get it photocopied tomorrow.

Eyes turned to Joseph. He asked us to give him some small change. That gave Michael the chance to show off by producing two sets of every coin of the realm. Joseph picked out the smallest - 1p and 5p - and soon had them spinning. Like most people I've avoided street performers with balls, clubs and knives. I paid for cabarets which included burning torches, axes and in one memorable case, chain saws. This was as exhilarating as any of them. Even Michael applauded when he let them fall to the table. He nodded at the coins. They were all heads-side up.

'You should teach Ruth that trick for next time she's on blow-job duty.'

'Could do. Most people assume I've practised with coins so I get them to give me random stuff: lighters, rings, keys. Passes the time.'

He was roundly disabused of his modesty and all eyes turned to Velda.

'Basically, people want to know if they're going to get rich or get laid.'

'Doesn't it take ages to do a reading?'

'Only if you want the full pantomime. You can sum most peoples' chances in the two main categories just by looking at them. On sex, I'd say yes, no chance, interesting and whenever you want.'

She nodded at Pete, Joseph, Michael and then me. Michael pulled his hands back. She held out hers towards him, took one when he eventually gave it up and examined his palm for about thirty seconds.

'There's going to be a new woman in your life. And pretty soon, I'd say.'

'So its all bollocks then?'

'We'll see.'

She sat back looking suitably enigmatic. I stared from one to the other. This, I thought, is going to work.

We sat back and watched Ruth and Stella get the room set up the way they wanted it, while exasperating the moving team and giving George all the time he wanted. Pete made Velda a perfect hooped earring and Joseph made me laugh juggling a condom, tampon, credit card and lipstick I'd found in my bag. Michael quietly produced cards and coins from various places while examining the hand Velda had read when he thought no one was looking. The others eventually wandered off to the dressing room again to choose lockers. The noise of scraping and swearing was dying back so it was pretty clear the room was almost finished. We were almost done for the day.

'I'm going to need the room for a few hours from seven. Is that OK?'

'Why?'

'Private appointment.'

'I see.'

Michael was finding our truce hard work.

'I read that leaflet from the tourist board telling you what's on and everything.'

'And.'

'Nothing. The place is quiet as the grave.'

'I hope your jokes are going to be better tomorrow.'

'You could go out and eat. See a movie?'

'Me?'

'Maybe Pete or Joseph'd go for a drink with you?'

'You want me to be nice to people on my day off?'

'Good point.'

'Don't worry about me, I'll sit in the bar with a book and fend off the street walkers.'

There was a quiet cough behind us. It was Ruth. She was standing with her hands clasped in front of her like we were her head teachers or something. Her valise was next to her.

'Is there a problem?'

'No, no, nothing like that.'

She looked down at her feet.

'I just wanted to say thank you for earlier. You know, with that manager.'

'Don't. We enjoyed it. You OK, though, you're not still upset?'

'Not at all. It was great. I only wish I could have played up the Daisy bit more.'

'There's sure to be a next time.'

'I guess, Monty's already asked us for our agents' details. He's nice too, isn't he?'

'He has his moments.'

'You look like you need to get off. Can you stick around for a few more minutes? We'll just get everyone back together and call it a day.'

She still looked sheepish. We waited.

'Do you mind if I ask you two a personal questions?'

'I don't, best not to give Michael a vote.'

She looked at him to double check he was comfortable. He nodded.

'Are you two together? You know, like a couple.'

'We're just fr... No we're not.'

I didn't know whether to be surprised at the question, or that Michael had come within a hair's breadth of admitting we were mates. Ruth nodded to herself as if to confirm her assumptions and turned slightly so she was fully facing Michael.

'It's just that when I came up, I heard the last bit of your conversation.'

He said nothing.

'About you being at a loose end and everything. Could I ask you a really big favour?'

'Course you can.'

She looked back at me when I interrupted, then to Michael again.

'She's my spokeswoman. Self-appointed.'

'It's just that I've got a few bookings this evening. I wondered whether you'd come with me.'

'He'd love to.'

'I know its a lot to ask. They're not bad places, but I hate going in alone. Everywhere's got someone like Stuart.'

'Don't worry. Michael will be delighted.'

'Normally my brother comes, but he's got a darts match. There's this bloke I know, but he...'

'Might be as much trouble as Stuart at the end of the evening?'

'Well, yes.'

'Michael will be the perfect chaperone. There's no one I'd trust more.'

'Monty said you make great cocktails. There's a quiet place in town. I could treat you there when we were done. My treat and you could tell me if they're any good.'

'If you two have quite finished organising my life.'

Ruth looked crestfallen and stepped back.

'Sorry.'

'Don't be. I'll do it. But I'm not having you spending money on me.'

'I'll drive and everything. You just have to sort of be there.'

'He's good at that.'

'The first gig's at this place called the Golden Lion. I'm on at seven.'

'Perfect.'

'That's at the bottom of my street. They have strippers, you sure you'll be OK?'

We all looked at George who had arrived unannounced and waited for the penny to drop.

'That was a bit stupid, wasn't it? Sorry Ruth. I didn't mean anything.'

'You're in a hole. Stop digging.'

'I could give you a lift home, if you like.'

'OK. Thanks. I'll just. I mean.'

'You and I need to talk to Charlie before we finish. And Aunty Monique has bought you some nice magazines for research too. Homework you might say. Come on.'

George looked like he wanted to have another opportunity to make a fool of himself. Michael was having none of that and marched him away holding him firmly by the arm. Ruth smiled at me and looked about to leave. I patted the seat next to me. She looked so relieved that Michael was going with her. It made her look even younger.

'Do you like stripping?'

'Like is a bit strong. But I've got a car and share a flat with a couple of mates. There's no way I could afford that on the wages round here.'

'You remember our conversation earlier about George?'

'Sure.'

'Would you mind if he came in and watched you perform?'

'Not at all. Why should I? It'd be nice to have someone else I sort of know in there. Beside Michael, I mean.'

'Great. If I gave you a twenty would you be able to show him special attention. You know, a little lap dance-type thing.'

'There's no need to pay.'

'I insist.'

'OK then. It'd be just in the bar though. I'm not fucking him.'

'I wouldn't dream of asking you to. Certainly not for twenty quid.'

We both smiled.

'Word gets out the stripper might be up for a tumble and things could get unpleasant.'

'I understand and wasn't even suggesting it in the first place.'

'Maybe tomorrow after the show.'

'What you do on your own time is your business. But could I make a suggestion?'

'Of course. Its really unusual to see a woman being respected so much in an environment like this.'

'Don't. George is a nice boy and works hard. He seems loyal and all that. I've just got a feeling that if you hooked up with him you'd have a gooey-eyed drip trying to get you to stop showing your tits to strangers inside a month. And no one needs another one of those, right?'

'It's why I tend to go for older men.'

'So lets get this done and we can all go home. Out of here anyway.'

There were a lot of people standing about looking for someone else to say something. Only Charlie seemed active. He was drawing long chalk lines on the floor and having George put gaffer tape crosses on them at various intervals.

'You busy? I was going to finish up.'

'No. Just having fun?'

'This is fun?'

'Not now.'

'But?'

'Stuart's going to mess with us. You get that right?'

' 'Course.'

'He's going to think that by rubbing out all the lines for the wiring, he'll set us right back.'

'So you're giving him some to play with.'

'Ta-da.'

I went over to Monty who was talking to the moving crew. I interrupted and told the boys they could go. They looked relieved to get away. Then I clapped my hands, gathered the rest around and set them free. It was five. Charlie took me aside to say he'd set up the alarm and the security camera I'd had him buy earlier. I took the alarm code and went to lock up. I took George with me.

'What time are you getting going?'

'About six thirty. Ruth and Michael are in the bar. Michael's taken a lot of the food with him.'

'Good. Have you got a best friend?'

'Well yes.'

'A guy, I presume?'

'Uh huh.'

'Call him. Tell him to meet you down at the Golden Lion. Say you're mates with one of the strippers and a generous aunt has slipped you some cash so you're buying.'

'Aunt?'

'Me.'

I gave him forty pounds.

'Enjoy yourself, but get home early and be ready for a hard day tomorrow.'

He scuttled off, gabbling excitedly into his phone as he went. I checked the rudimentary camera we'd installed and set the alarm. I went to reception just as the night manager was clocking on. I told her I'd alarmed the dressing room and gave her the code in a sealed envelope for use only if it went off. If all was quiet, I told her, I'd collect the envelope in the morning before she left. I ostentatiously signed over the seal in front of her so no one could tamper with it and gave her a tenner for her trouble.

Only then did I go up to seven-oh-six and run myself a bath. I needed a relaxing soak. The soak I got, the relaxation - almost. The standard three-quarter length tub was just that fraction too short for my body. I had a choice of having my legs covered in the hot, bubble-bath enriched water, or my body but not both. I shaved my legs, armpits and pussy within and inch of their lives; washed my hair and scrubbed myself all over with an exfoliating porridge for which, the label informed me, a thousand apricot stones had died. I'd put a Brahms symphony, classical music was a recently acquired habit and I was still discovering what the fuss was all about. I gave myself ten minutes of leg and then body de-stressing. Just me-time.

I used it to revisit the agenda I'd set myself when it came to working through the contradictions of my various roles. They were beginning to overlap and therefore get a little messy. Nothing serious, but adjustments needed to be made. I thought about how the day had gone with Michael and the magician's assistant me. The truce, I decided, was working and necessary, but we'd need to get back to normal as soon as this gig was over.

I moved on to musing about my home life. My youngest's departure from the family home was imminent. There was so much going on in my life generally that I hadn't had time to indulge in the empty nest syndrome, but clearly it was an opportunity as well as a chance to take stock of my marriage and future with my husband. Things between us had significantly improved over the past year. I looked forward to the next phase with optimism, rather than seeing it as a challenge.

And thoughts of Howard, inevitably led on to my new career as a prostitute. I'd started by accident and explored it initially as a way to get laid whilst maintaining my sexless marriage. So much less messy than an affair. I still thoroughly enjoyed the excitement and variety of clients I'd pick up in the Royal Hotel. It was my relationship with my regular clients I needed to re-order in my mind.

Howard had been my first, nervously handing over envelopes of cash in return for hand or mouth relief and full sex. Then he'd pimped me out to David, one of our oldest friends, and that had, I presumed, brought home to him the reality, that this wasn't a perverse bedroom game between spouses, but something I was doing for myself. I noticed an escalation in the harshness in language when he fucked Monique. He'd also submitted to mild BDSM and seemed to want more.

David was a sweetheart. Perfectly at ease with both Monique and Monica, modest in his demands - though beginning to respond to Monique's encouragement that he be more forthright in articulating his desires - and both supremely grateful and financially generous.

Together though, David and Howard had double-teamed her a couple of times. She'd liked it. The anal sex alone was something she needed to explore more. But they were both certainly more assertive and less concerned for her when they were together. Did she mind? No, she decided. More experience of the traditional whore-punter relationship would be good for all of them.

Then there was Monty. A much more complicated case. She'd been entertained by his all-over-the-place personality, amused initially by his desire for punishment, then distressed when she discovered its roots. His upbringing, largely subcontracted by his parents to an evil witch of a nanny, had left him with an inability to disassociate sexual satisfaction from pain. She'd researched BDSM properly as a result and was trying to give him what he needed in as professional a manner as she could.

He was the only one who had not met Monica. Her help and advice to him as he set up and then expanded his local business, had therefore surprised and impressed him. An unexpected consequence was that he was increasingly labouring under the misconception that if he encouraged her business consultancy activities, she would naturally lose the desire to continue as a prostitute. He might save her.

Part of what was going to happen tonight, I'd decided, was reminding him of the basic rules of their relationship: me, the dom, him, the sub. In the longer term though, she was almost certainly going to have to introduce him to Monica and deal with his reaction to that. Entertaining clients was, after all, part of her role as a wife. And Monty had chosen Howard's firm to handle his local financial work. It was likely that he and David would also link up. Monty recognised the need to recruit talent for his expanding venture, and David was the best business consultant in the region.

All this was getting a bit deep. So the laughter which came when I realised that of all the men only Michael accepted Monique at face value, was entirely non-judgemental of her choices and cherished her for who she was.

As I dried myself off, blow dried my hair and then slathered myself in body lotion I still giggled at my conclusion. But as I dressed, I naturally became more serious. It was time for business and tonight's business was Monty.

My hair was a little wild from the blow dry, but I was happy to leave it that way. I carefully painted my nails with black nail varnish - I'd had to go into one of those cheap shops for teenagers to find it - and applied a dark eye-shadow, more mascara than I'd normally use in a week and the brightest red lipstick I owned.

I'd selected a black faux-leather crop top with metallic studs. Not one of the tight ones Howard favoured. This one had no bottom seam and the underside of my breasts were clearly visible. The ladies in the Nighty Nook had adapted one of their shiniest satin suspenders belts with a few sequins which looked for all the world like the studs on the top, but carried no risk of irritating my thighs. The bikini bottom I pulled on over them was from the same range as the top. Its studs formed an arrow-head pointing to my pussy and gleamed under the lights. The thigh boots were essential for appointments with Monty. I'd have worn them under the flimsiest of summer frocks if necessary. Tonight they were perfect over the sheerest of black stockings - I picked a couple of holes just to nasty them up a tad. A studded collar and wrist bands completed the outfit. I almost frightened myself when I looked in the full-length mirror behind the wardrobe door.

I laid out my riding crop next to a present I'd bought for Monty to mark our appointment. The box was wrapped in plain silver paper and finished with an ornate ribbon and bow in black. I adjusted the lighting, trying several combinations of dimmed overheads with one or both of those over the beds - where was Charlie when you needed him? - and put The Rites of Spring on loop. I wanted background music, but nothing too intrusive. It was perfect: classical but sufficiently discordant.