Professor Bimbo Lewis

***The themes and events in this short story are not only unrealistic, but distinctly misogynistic. It's important that these themes are framed from a point of view of catharsis and not endorsement. Whether you have similar thoughts or are a victim of them, this story is meant as a safe way to explore this prevalent attitude. This method of coping is not for everybody, so indulge accordingly. Enjoy.***

Chapter 1: A Gift

"Come in," I said.

I don't know how I knew who it was going to be, but I just knew: Trevor Lenore stepped into my office. I had had difficult students before and I had had students who weren't very bright before and I had had clingy students before, but I had never had all three rolled up into one infuriating package in my twelve years as a university professor. Trevor blew all the other problem students out of the water.

"Trevor, I told you, I can't make any more exceptions for you. I've already gone far beyond what I norm-"

"-Woah woah, this isn't about that Mrs. L," he said.

I grit my teeth. I wasn't nor had I ever been married and I certainly did not ever ask to be called "Mrs. L". In fact, I had asked Trevor on multiple occasions to not call me that.

"Then what is this about, Mr. Lenore?"

"You've just seemed really stressed out lately, that's all. So I thought maybe you could benefit from, like, a stress ball or something," he said. Then he reached into his pocket and crudely tossed a bright pink squishy ball onto my desk. Luckily nothing got broken or pushed out of place.

"That's very kind," I said in a tone that I thought was very clearly sarcastic, but he just grinned widely.

"Thanks! I thought maybe you'd be a bitch about it," he said.

I inhaled deeply to calm myself. I had suffered through enough conversations with him to know that it wasn't worth calling him out for his language.

"Is that all, Mr. Lenore?"

"Huh? Oh sure. Take it easy," he said with an easy grin and strolled back out of my office.

I had no idea why Trevor was in university at all, much less enrolled in my class but if nothing else I had to admit to respecting his persistence. I had explicitly told him on many occasions that he was extremely unlikely to get a passing grade, yet he continued to show up to every lecture.

I normally wasn't even in my office at this time, but Trevor seemed to have a sixth sense about me. He knew just when and where to find me and what to say to push my buttons and get under my skin. He was even starting to erode my reputation as the unflappable professor. I prided myself on my ability to keep my even demeanor no matter what was being said to me or how it was being said and over time it had created a mythos around me that curated the sort of students who took my classes. I liked a serious silent room for my lectures and I liked that the expectation of most of the students in my class was that the lecture was a time for me to speak and any questions they had could be asked during my open office hours or over e-mail.

I, of course, had the occasional student who would ask lots of questions or make a scene as a call for attention, but it never lasted more than a few weeks and I always knew how to handle it. Trevor Lenore was an entirely different breed. His combination of earnestness and stupidity and persistence was something I had never run into.

His intrusion on my work had completely derailed my train of thought and I closed up what I was doing. I didn't even want to be at work that late anyway. As I packed up I took a look at the stress ball. Despite my perpetually black attire and dim brown office, I actually like the colour pink - in the right place at least. I'm not sure why I didn't throw it out there and then. Like Trevor's behaviour in general I just couldn't figure it out. Was it meant as a gift in earnest? And if it was, what did it say about me? But if it was a prank gift, it would be a pretty weak one and would seem to me more trouble than it was worth.

I still couldn't get it off my mind as I drove home. I hadn't even tested it to see how the quality was. I had never found those stress balls very good at providing actually stress relief, but they were fun to play with when I was in a good mood. I'd have to at least try it out before I tossed it.

I wasn't used to getting back to my apartment so late and it felt a little depressing to walk into the lobby when it was dark outside. Normally I waited until I was actually inside my apartment to turn on my personal cell phone, but I turned it on while I was still walking up the stairs.

If I had a therapist I'm sure she'd have a field day analyzing why I kept my personal phone turned off for the majority of the day. Maybe I loved the rush of notifications so that I felt needed. Maybe I liked forgetting that I had no family or partner in my life. It didn't matter to me what the reason was. I just knew I preferred it like this.

Like usual I had plenty of notifications from all of my dating apps and like usual very few of them were worth a second look. I couldn't believe how many grown men felt like an acceptable opening line was "hey".

Of the more interesting opening lines, many of them were swiftly revealed to be curated over time and the men were never as quick or interesting as their opener implied. Or it turned out that they were so arrogant that they had no interest in what I had to say.

Still, despite all the data, I still looked through every message and looked at the profiles of every man who sent me even a "hey".

It was difficult being very busy, very horny, and yet with very high standards.

I walked into my unit with my face in my phone and dropped my stuff on my sofa. I barely even noticed my hand slip under my work pants. I had come home and masturbated after work every day since I could remember except during those rare months when I had a boyfriend.

"Fuck yeah," I grunted as I felt my clit over my underwear. Some days it felt better than others and today was one of those days. I dropped my phone by my side and undid the button on my pants to allow my working hand more space to breathe.

Masturbating to completion on a daily basis in the clothes I had gone to work in would be another topic that I'm sure a therapist would love, but I preferred to be unanalyzed.

"Fuck that feels good, oh you worked so hard today," I said out loud as I began to grind back against myself and continued to push and rub my hand over my panties. I used my free hand to undo my blouse and reach inside to my nipple. My breasts were incredibly small and I never needed to wear a bra, especially because of the fact that I never went without a blazer.

My nipple was stiff already and I twisted it in time with my hand's work between my legs. Why get a boyfriend when I knew my body so perfectly already?

I filled my apartment with the sounds of my horny gasping and I drew it out to indulge in it. I knew I was ready to explode but I didn't want it to be over so quickly.

"You have the perfect pussy, Laura, I want you to cum so bad," I said out loud to myself. I sank lower on the sofa and humped my own hand harder. It was more difficult to cum without slipping my hand under my underwear, but I loved the way it felt to cream my panties.

I finally gave in and allowed myself to climax. I cried out in satisfied moans. I knew that I didn't have the most soundproof apartment, but I didn't care if others could hear me. I didn't need a therapist to tell me that after being so serious and wound up at work all day, I craved the liberal release I gave myself on my sofa daily.

It wasn't until I was in bed after my dinner and my shower and my second masturbation session on my sofa that I was reminded of that strange pink stress ball on my desk. In my memory it's as if everything else is in black and white and the stress ball is an even brighter shade of the already garish pink it was. I would have to test it out tomorrow.

Chapter 2: A Date

I rarely went into my office until after all of my lectures and so I had completely forgotten about the stress ball until my day was done. When I opened the door to my office, the bright pink colour was the first thing I saw and that's when I realized that for the first time this term, I hadn't seen Trevor Lenore in class. One might think that I would immediately notice his absence, but other than feeling like I was having a particularly good day I hadn't thought about him once.

I stared at the stress ball. Something was making me hesitate to touch it. It just looked so out of place on my desk that I wanted it gone but I didn't want to be the one to do it. If Trevor not showing up to lecture was unusual, what I did next was even more strange. I turned my personal phone on.

I wasn't somebody who relied on gut feelings or instincts yet I couldn't explain why I turned my phone on beyond just sensing that I finally got an interesting message on one of my dating apps.

I considered it complete coincidence when the notification flashed on my screen.

"I love your prickly profile. You have an established career and you downplay your beauty in your photos. You seem like the sort of woman I'd like to know better. Let me take you out tonight."

I stared at the message and scoured his profile to look for reasons to decline him. But he had no generic quotes and no fishing pictures and none of the other red flags that turned even the most handsome men into duds. I even liked his name: Sebastian. The only thing that made me wary was the fact that he was over ten years younger than me. I would be turning 40 this year and he was 27. Still, a date was a date and I had to admit that going over a year without cock was driving me a little crazy.

"Can you afford to take me to Tormine's?" I messaged back. If he liked prickly, I would give him prickly.

"I'll see you at 8," he replied.

I had to admit to being nervous. I hadn't had a proper date in over three years. I used to have a bad habit of going out to bars, getting way too drunk, and letting almost anybody take me home. After one particularly sketchy situation I was able to cut out that specific vice, but I did miss the more frequent sex.

I managed to distract myself with work for a few hours and once six o'clock came around I figured I should go home and put on a different outfit. I packed up my bag and just as I was getting ready to leave my eye caught the stress ball. I grabbed it and tossed it in my bag. If ever I needed such a thing, it would be tonight.

Although I touched it for little more than a second I was immediately surprised by just how soft the material felt. It was as if my fingers could sink into it forever despite how small it was.

My nerves kicked in during the drive home. Why had I suggested Tormine's? I didn't want to go somewhere fancy or have to dress up for it. Maybe I could get away with a nice pair of jeans and a blouse if I wore fancy earrings.

Soon enough I was in my shower. Normally it was a place for me to feel calm and for the anxieties of the day to wash away, but I couldn't stop my mind from racing. Why had I accepted a date from a man barely older than some of my students? This was why I didn't turn my phone on during the day.

I ran my loofa over my thin body. I was told all the time by other women that they wished they had my figure, but I had resented my body for a long time. It was embarrassing to think about, but when I was in high school, I was one of the girls who would stuff my shirt just waiting for my chest to fill out. Any day now, I kept telling myself. It's not like I didn't know about the array of social horrors that would have awaited me if I had actually become a busty woman, but my disappointment in myself had secretly remained. I was just a stick figure in my mind. Even if I had developed just enough to show cleavage, that would satisfy me. I liked my personality. I liked that I was prickly and had high standards, but I did wish that my body looked a little different.

I decided on a white blouse and a long pencil skirt that ran to my knees. I knew that some people got all dolled up in super fancy dresses for this place, but I figured that what I was wearing would be enough. I pulled out a purse that I hadn't used in years and began to take stuff from my bag to put into it.

Then I pulled out the stress ball again. I looked around my apartment as if somebody was spying on me, as if it was embarrassing to have such a bright pink novelty toy in my otherwise dismally-coloured home. I squeezed it. I exhaled quickly. It felt so good. I actually smiled to myself as I continued to work the incredibly malleable material. It really did seem to work! I watched the ooze-like material of the ball squeeze between my fingers as I gripped as hard as I could. To think that such an effective gift came from somebody as insufferable as Trevor had something poetic about it. It didn't make up for my year of dealing with him, but it was the first time anything he had done had worked towards making up for the damage he had caused.

I put the stress ball in my purse and went back out to my car, suddenly feeling much more positive about the date.

I arrived at a time that I considered to be fashionably late, but Sebastian was even later. I sat at the table for over twenty minutes. I began to get frustrated with myself that I didn't gather the guts to leave, but I passed the time by reaching into my purse and squeezing on the stress ball some more. I immediately began to feel more calm the moment my fingers touched it. I figured it was my imagination, but it even felt like there was a subtle smell that emitted from the soft squishy pink sphere. It was strange but the only way I knew how to describe the smell was to use the word "pink".

Finally Sebastian showed up and I couldn't tell if I felt frustrated or relieved that he was even better looking than in his photos. He was dressed sharply in a pair of dark blue dress pants and a tucked in salmon shirt with no jacket. He grinned widely at me.

"Laura? I'm so sorry that I'm late!" He said. He was clearly expecting me to stand up and hug him or shake his hand, but I just dropped the stress ball back in my purse and crossed my arms.

"I'm sure you are," I said. He laughed loudly and easily and he didn't seem to either notice or mind that it drew attention.

"I'm glad your cold profile wasn't an act! Have you ordered already?" He asked while seating himself.

"I should have," I said and allowed myself a wry grin. If he was going to be so good natured about my stiff attitude the least I could do was show some appreciation for it. "How about I give you the opportunity to work yourself back into gentleman status and you can order for me."

"Old school, I like it," he said and once again I fell victim to his charming smile and I smiled back. I decided to let myself enjoy my time.

Although Sebastian worked in a boring field of business that I just couldn't bring myself to pay attention to when he talked about it, he was very present and engaged with me and hours passed at the table as he ordered us more and more food. Despite the age difference, I never felt like I had to coddle him and in fact I couldn't remember the last time I felt as intellectually challenged during a date.

I hadn't had much to drink, but I still felt as lightheaded as I would be if I were quite drunk but I didn't mind. It was Saturday tomorrow and I could afford to cut a little loose for once. As part of my major change in habits when I stopped going to bars, I made a deal with myself to not go home with a guy on a first date, but Sebastian was making it difficult to hold myself to that. He had that rare blend of respect and sexual confidence that made it so that he was neither creepy nor thirsty, nor pathetic. As the night wore on I found myself drifting more and more into fantasies about climbing up onto his lap and sinking myself down onto his staff. I had a gut feeling that he was hung and I hadn't had a cock inside me in so long. I reached into my purse to clutch at the stress ball to help myself focus. The pink smell hit my nose almost immediately this time. It smelled so calming and relaxing. It smelled like happiness and freedom. I realized that I wasn't quite sure what Sebastian was saying so I focused all my attention on his words.

"So what do you say, Laura? Does that sound like a good idea?"

"I'm sorry, could you repeat it? Just to make sure that I heard you right," I said.

"I said that I'll pay the bill and drive you home while you suck my dick," he said.

"But what about my car?" I asked, feeling unable to think very clearly.

"They have an excellent valet service here, they'll drive it home for you. What do you say? You were talking so much about how you missed giving blowjobs that I thought you'd be jumping all over the idea.

Was I? Was that really what I was talking about? I squeeze the stress ball harder and I smile. That did sound nice. And why not? We'd both get something out of it and I had certainly had a wonderful time.

"That sounds excellent, Sebastian," I said, focusing my eyes on his.

"I thought you might agree."

Fifteen minutes later he was pulling out of his parking spot and I was pulling down his zipper.

I gasped at the smell of his cock before I even saw it.

"It really has been a long time for you hasn't it, little Laura?"

"Hey! Don't make fun," I said with a smile although I didn't take my eyes off his package as I opened his button and pulled down the elastic on his boxer briefs. "It's not my fault my body's so tiny."

"You could always take Pink Pills, you know?" He suggested.

"Ew! Those Bimbos are so pathetic!" I said and then took my mind off the conversation by pulling out his thick long hard cock and sliding my lips over it.

Although I was insecure about my body, I did feel confident in my face. I loved my sharp angular features and my thick lips that portrayed a stern classic beauty. I knew I was good at sucking dick too and I knew that part of the reason was because of how much I loved it. I smiled into Sebastian's cock as I heard that familiar male groan. I loved that sound, the sound of a man fully and completely enjoying the feeling of my hot wet mouth surrounding the tip of his cock, sliding it deeper inside until it hit the entrance to my throat. Despite how long it had been I was still easily able to allow Sebastian's thick member inside until his entire staff disappeared into my face.

"You're fucking kidding me, holy shit," he grunted. I couldn't believe how good it felt to be deep-throating a cock again and I let saliva build up until I felt it begin to spill out of my lips then I moved my hand to his balls and rubbed my own spit in and slid my face back up to his tip.

"Mmmmffff," I moaned genuinely as I serviced his incredible cock. He was clearly having to fight to concentrate on the road and I loved the feeling of power it gave me.

"That's it, you little cocksucker. Work for your cum, slut," he said. I loved the confidence in his dirty talk. So many men just stayed quiet or only let out an occasional 'fuck yeah' or 'just like that'. I preferred a man who spoke his dirty mind, even if it didn't always hit the mark. I didn't always love being called names, but right now I was in the mood for it. I kept my hand on his balls for leverage and began to slide my face up and down his pole. I was sloppier than I normally would be but I had a sense that Sebastian would like that sort of thing and he certainly seemed to appreciate it. I knew it wasn't a long drive back to my apartment and so I worked on overdrive to sprint to the finish line.

"Mm! MMPpph! MmmkKkffffggg," I slurped and gagged as I pumped my face up and down his staff. Fuck he tasted so good.

"That's right, bitch, here it comes!"