Progression

For as long as I could remember I was always interested in girl's panties, slips and bras. I just loved the vintage full cut panties in nylon and lots of lace. The more lace the better. Same with full length slips, half-slips, and especially petticoats. I had an intense desire to wear these items along with pretty nylon and lace nightgowns for many years.

When I was 19 years old and still living at home I took every opportunity I had to get into my mother's lingerie drawer and put on her lingerie. I did this when I had the house to myself and the thrill of stripping myself naked and then opening her dresser and picking out a pair of panties and a bra was really exciting. My under-sized penis would become hard, but measure only about an inch and a half in length. I hated looking down and seeing my penis poking forward in the panties so I did everything I could to tuck it down and away. Putting on a full slip over the bra and panties was heaven for me. I loved the feel and look of wearing beautiful lingerie. Knowing that my mother's pussy lips had been in the crotch of the panties I was wearing was an added sexy bonus for me.

I never once ejaculated when I was wearing my mother's panties and slips. In fact, I thought I was going to be unable to ejaculate as I just never reached orgasm. This turned out to be a good thing because I never got my mother's lingerie dirty when I was wearing it. I would not experience my first ejaculation until I was almost 30 years old. In my early 20's my mother asked me directly;

"Honey; have you been in my lingerie drawer?"

"What do you mean?" I answered.

"I mean, I've been noticing my panties, bras, and slips seem like they are not in the same place I put them when I put them away. Since it's only you and me living here; I'm asking if you are going into my personal items."

I could see she saw the look of guilt on my face so I decided to tell the truth.

"Yes; I have been. Your panties and lingerie are so pretty I can't help myself."

"Well; at least now I know for sure what I suspected. I know you see me when I'm just in my bra and panties, do you want to see me getting dressed?" She asked.

"No; it's not that; I'm a little ashamed to admit I like putting your panties, bras, and slips on. It gives me a thrill." I said looking at the ground.

"Oh sweetie; I understand; I love wearing pretty panties, bras, and slips. What if we got you your own sets of panties and slips; and probably a training bra would fit you better. Would you like that?"

"You'd do that for me?" I asked.

"Sure honey; there's nothing wrong with wanting to wear pretty lingerie. You could wear it every day under your regular clothes." Said my mother.

"I'd love to do that!" I said with a smile.

In the next few days my mother came home with at least 10 pairs of very feminine full cut nylon and lace panties, three full slips with lots of lace on the hem and the bodice, and two training bras of nylon and lace. She also added in three long nightgowns all in nylon and loaded with pretty lace.

"There you are; now you have your own pretty underwear and you can stay away from mine." Said my mother.

In the next few months I was wearing my beautiful, feminine panties and training bra covered by a full slip every day. My penis was on the small size naturally, and wearing panties every day seemed to have it shrink even smaller which I did not mind at all. After about six months my mother came to me with a suggestion;

"You know, if you shave all of the hair off your body your lingerie will feel really good when you put it on. I would keep all of the hair between your legs and under your arms shaved completely off. You don't have that much chest hair so that really isn't an issue, but keeping a totally clean crotch will really feel good in your panties."

I did as she suggested and learned how to avoid ingrown hairs and soon my body was totally hairless and very smooth. I was almost 21 years old when I made the next step. I decided to see if I could find a girlfriend who would not mind if I wore lingerie full time. I was hoping to find a girl who found it sexy. I was not able to find what I was looking for and I had still not matured sexually as a male in the least. I was totally convinced I would never be able to ejaculate.

I went on my first date with a girl, her name was Holly. I was very naïve around girls and I was naïve to wear a full set of lingerie under my male clothing on a first date. I did not know it at the time, but Holly was much more sexually experienced than I was. She had been introduced to sex by her brother-in-law who was married to her older sister. She had been fully nude with him and she had sucked on his erect cock and he had sucked on her erect nipples. He had placed his hard cock on the lips of her pussy and begged her to let him slide inside of her, but she refused and he honored her wishes. The two of them did engage in heavy petting for an extended length of time as he sucked on her pussy and she swallowed his cum and they tongue kissed deeply while both of them were alone and nude. When we were on our first date Holly was not shy about kissing me and putting her hand between my legs.

"Put your hand down the front of my panties." Directed Holly.

I did as she asked and felt the warm wet lips of her cunt. Without asking she slid her hand down the front of my pants and felt my tiny penis which was hard but only about an inch and a half in length. She felt the lace of my panties and the waistband of my half-slip.

"Are you wearing a slip and panties?" She asked a little startled.

"Yes, and a training bra and a camisole." I replied.

"Is that why your cock is so tiny? Are you a girl or something?" Asked Holly.

"No, no. I'm not a girl. I just love wearing lingerie and have done so for a long time. I hope it doesn't freak you out." I said quickly.

"I've never experienced anything like this before, that's all. I need to tell you your cock is really short. Have you ever fucked a girl before?" Asked Holly.

"No. I'm a virgin and I don't think I'm able to ejaculate. I get hard, but nothing happens." I replied.

"Do you want to try and fuck me?" She asked.

"Okay, I'll try, but I'm fairly sure I can't cum." I replied.

Holly took off her panties and lifted her dress and I pulled down my pants and took off my half-slip and panties. Things began with Holly putting my little hard penis in her mouth trying to get it bigger. It got harder, but not bigger. She then lay down on her back with her legs spread and pulled my cock toward her pussy. We got really close with our bodies and my cock head barely touched her cunt lips. I was not at all inside her pussy.

"Is that the farthest you can go?" She said.

"I think so. I'm just not long enough to do it." I sighed.

I was never able to experience sexual intercourse with Holly or four other girls I dated. Only one of them was lightly interested in the fact I wore full sets of lingerie every day. I ran into Holly about a year after our date and she was eight months pregnant. She told me after our date she had decided to give her virginity to her brother-in-law and without any protection he had quickly impregnated her. He was still married to her sister and her sister did not know about her husband's affair. Holly told me she and her brother-in-law had engaged in full intercourse up through seven months of her pregnancy and for the past month she had reduced things to only sucking his cock and swallowing his cum. She told me her plans were to put the baby up for adoption.

After I saw Holly I made a promise to myself that I would stop trying to have any kind of dating or sexual relationships with biological females. I concentrated my efforts on making myself into the most feminine and naturally female person I could become. I continued to wear a full set of lingerie on a daily basis and I always slept in panties and a nightgown every night. On weekends I spent a lot of time in the morning applying and learning to apply full make-up. I also began to buy and wear knee length dresses from Saturday morning all the way until bed time Sunday. I removed from my dresser my male underwear and threw it away. I replaced it with my large collection of panties, slips, and bras. I worked on having a softer voice and I learned how to walk like a female. I also bought several different styles of wigs and all weekend wore my favorite styles. I was a complete female in every way except for my tiny penis and A cup breasts.

I lived this way for the remainder of my 20's and went well into my late 20's without ever once ejaculating from my little cock. And then it happened. It was a total surprise to me and it happened without me having the slightest hint of an erection. I was fully dressed one weekend and sitting quietly on the sofa reading a magazine. My wig and make-up were extra natural looking on this day and I had decided to wear a garter belt and lace top stockings with my lingerie. It happened in an instant; I was suddenly hit with a very strong urge to pee. I quickly got up off the sofa and could not even take one step toward the bathroom when I felt myself convulse in my groin and quickly I felt my panties filling with warm fluffy cream. My mid-section twitched again and again, and every time it did the tiny head of my completely limp penis discharged more cream into the crotch of my panties. At first I had no idea what was happening and the whole experience was a bit scary. I thought something was wrong with me. After almost six or seven twitches my penis stopped its discharge and I felt the crotch of my panties being full of hot, fluffy cream. With the twitching stopped I could now slowly walk to the bathroom and when I got there I lifted my dress and my slip and pulled the top of my panties away from my body. I looked down and saw a huge mound of white cream fully covering the head of my penis and most of its tiny shaft. Nothing was running down my leg as the discharge was too thick. It was at this moment I became aware of the fact I had involuntarily ejaculated. The discharge was so large because I was almost 29 years old and had never ejaculated in my life.

Looking down into my panties, I could not help myself, I scooped a rather large amount of the very warm cream out with my fingers and without the slightest hesitation I put my fingers into my mouth ingesting my semen. The feel and the taste of the hot cum was really sexy to me and I felt my limp little dick twitch and release a small amount more. I decided to consume all of the ejaculation so I carefully removed my panties and placed them on the bathroom counter with the crotch and still large amount of semen facing up and I lowered my tongue into the mound and licked the panties clean of the cum. I swallowed every last drop and felt very feminine doing it.

I was relieved to know I did not have a medical condition, but at the same time I was upset by the fact I had reacted sexually as a male. At almost 30 years old I wanted nothing to do with having to participate in sexual activity as a male. I did not want to have erections and I did not want to ejaculate. I wanted to sexually be as feminine as I could be. I knew I could probably pull on my little penis and now make it ejaculate, but I kept my hands away from my little cock as I in no way wanted to cum like a male.

Experiencing the taste of semen however was a real turn-on for me. In the years following my first ever ejaculation I concentrated my efforts on becoming more and more female. I bought male chastity devices and locked my little penis down tightly for three months at a time. I was forced to sit down and pee with the chastity device in place and from age 29 going forward I never again stood up to pee. I painted my toenails a pretty shade of pink. I was almost 35 years old and I had not experienced an erection in many years and I had not ejaculated once since I did it six years prior. I was ready to take the next step.

I began by letting my hair grow and wearing make-up on a daily basis. I was becoming attracted to watching porn and looking closely at the males as they fucked the females. I studied how the females sucked on the men's erections and how they got them to ejaculate. It was time for me to find a boyfriend who could accept me as a girl with a penis.

I went for a professional make-up session and photo shoot and the results were much better than expected. My photos showed me to be the most natural, normal looking female I had ever seen. It was these photos I put on a website for girls like me looking for long term relationships with guys. The response was much faster than I expected from several guys who wanted to date me.

After extended e-mail communication and a few phone calls I agreed to go on my first ever date with a man named Robert. I was excited to finally be recognized as the girl in the relationship and I was looking forward to being treated like a lady.

I spent the entire day preparing for the date. I shaved my entire body, had my now shoulder length hair done, had my make-up done, wore overly feminine lingerie with lots of lace and a garter belt with lace top nylon stockings under my knee length dress. I added just the right amount of jewelry and I was fully immersed into being a very pretty female. My tiny penis actually retracted in my panties and my realistic breast forms fit my figure perfectly.

I took a cab to the restaurant where I agreed to meet my first ever male date. The cab driver called me ma'am and treated me just like a lady. There was no hint I wasn't a biological female. When I arrived at the restaurant Robert was waiting for me at the door. I was taken aback at how handsome he was. He was equally impressed with how pretty I looked.

"Hi Carol, you are really beautiful!" He said.

"Thank you so much; you are as handsome as your photos." I replied.

"Then let's go inside; I have a special booth reserved for us." He said as he opened the door.

All through dinner I could not help myself from thinking how handsome and sexy the man I was with was. We sat next to each other in a booth in the back. Sometimes you hear great actors saying how deeply they are into a part and they feel like they are the person they are playing; I felt this way when I was sitting next to Robert. I was deeply into my role as the girl for the evening. I had no male thoughts about Robert at all. I was a complete female sitting next to him. It was really a bit startling I felt this way. My little penis had pulled back inside my body without me doing anything to cause it. I was a female between my legs.

Robert was running his hand up my leg under the tablecloth and I was responding in kind running my hand up his leg. I had never felt a man's growing penis before this evening and when I could feel how long and big my date's cock was getting through his pants I was at the same time excited and a bit overwhelmed. Robert's hand was under my dress and he kept going higher over my stockings with his fingers directly into the crotch of my panties. My fully recessed penis could not be felt.

"My goodness;" Robert whispered in my ear; "You have nothing between your legs; are you sure there is a penis in your panties?"

"I'm sure;" I replied; "It's that I feel so overly feminine right now I have no use at all for that nasty thing."

"Well I hope you have a use for my nasty thing." Robert whispered into my ear as I stroked his growing cock.

"I will if you'll take me back to your place after dinner." I replied.

When we returned to Robert's place we immediately began tongue kissing each other and the feeling was wonderful. Robert unzipped my dress and it fell to the floor as I stood in front of him in my overly feminine slip. I asked Robert to take off all his clothes as I was anxious to see his growing penis and I wanted to put it into my mouth for the first time ever. I did it without hesitation and the feeling of Robert's thick, hard cock in my mouth was perfect. My own little penis had pulled back into my body all the way and I felt nothing between my legs in my panties. I had done it; I was a girl and I loved being one. I quickly flicked my tongue around the helmet of his cock and sucked at the same time. I absolutely loved the feeling of another man's erect penis in my mouth,

"Carol honey, I'm about to cum." Said Robert.

I put my hand on the bottom of his shaft and stroked fast and my tongue darted all over his cock as his erection was way into my mouth.

"Do you want me to cum in your mouth honey?" Gasped Robert.

I moved my head up and down in a "yes" motion.

"I'm cumming baby." Sighed Robert.

As soon as he said this I felt the hot shots of his semen in my mouth and down my throat. I kept sucking on his cock and stroking the base as he shot rope after rope into my mouth. I loved the feel and taste of his semen and sperm. I did not want it to stop. I felt like I was milking him dry as I could not get enough of his ejaculate. As I swallowed his semen and sperm I added a little sexual excitement for myself by imagining Robert's sperm were swimming around inside me and I was hoping he would get me pregnant.

"Oh Carol! I have never in my life cum so hard as I just did with you!" Said Robert.

"I'm so girly with you Robert, I've never swallowed another man's cum and loved it so much as I just did. I wish you could get me pregnant." I blurted out.

"Well when I recover I'd love to insert myself into your back side and cum deep inside you." He replied.

"I don't think that would be a good idea for me as you have such a thick cock. I'm fairly sure I could not handle you." I replied softly.

Robert was very kind and did not press it. We spent the night together in bed and again in the morning I was able to swallow a full load of his semen as I sucked off his beautiful erect penis again. We parted ways that morning after what for me was a new found confidence I developed for fully being a girl and exciting a man sexually to a thunderous orgasm.

I was all set to begin dating other men when a routine medical examination revealed a lump on my prostate that required a complete prostate removal for me. The doctor told me the healing time would be only about four to six weeks but after that time I would probably notice my penis shrinking by and inch to an inch and a half. Of course I would never again ejaculate semen at all (I did not tell him I had only done that four or five times in my life) and there was a good possibility having an erection would become difficult if not impossible. When my doctor told me this I built up the courage to ask him if there was a way for him when he was performing the prostate surgery to also surgically fix it so it would be impossible for me to ever have an erection. He was a little startled, but he said if I signed a release he could fix it so my penis would never again become erect or even plump.

I had been comfortable enough with my doctor to wear my lingerie when I went for my exams so he knew I wore panties full-time and he told me it would probably be much more comfortable for me now to wear panties as my penis and ball mound would become smaller in size.

I had the surgery and the thought of me becoming sterile, impotent, with a shrunken penis only pushed me closer to my desire to become a full-time girl. I never again had anything close to a nighttime erection and of course not discharging any fluid into my panties if I felt like cumming was truly a gift for me. I recovered rather quickly and began my search again looking for a boyfriend.

This time, I made it a point to look for a man who had a long, thin penis when he was erect. I was not interested in men with thick cocks. It took a while to find what I was looking for, but when I did, I was not in the least disappointed.