Prom Night Ch. 07

James Monaco considered this thought as he lay in the afterglow of yet another sexual encounter with—

(his boyfriend?)

—Dominic. They lay, entwined, naked together in James's bed in the night dim coming from the street lights outside. The younger man lay in his arms, nuzzled up just under his chin, and as the mental prediction of what was going to happen—the very real future that was being decided from his inaction and his fear—so did the thought that this was not what two men who are straight do together.

James had known plenty of jocks like Dominic when he had been in high school—some of whom had even been friends of his—and he couldn't picture any of them removing their clothing after practice...their underwear...their jockstraps...and climbing naked into bed together. He couldn't imagine any of them kissing...touching...sucking...and fucking each other till they came all over one another the way he had done on multiple occasions with Dom...

His thoughts were interrupted by a twitch of his cock. It had hardened again. James had already given a load to Dominic tonight—this time all over his chest—but it seemed the taboo mental pictures of his high school classmates in various states of undress and homoerotic acts had stirred a reaction in him. He ran his hand down Dominic's soft back to the top of his glutes, and despite himself—despite how wrong it was for a teacher (especially a male teacher) to be naked with his male student—James felt himself getting harder. And when the mental image of shooting his warm, sticky load all over the younger man's nipples—nipples James had suckled on countless times before—fill his mind, he was just about leaking.

It wasn't fair. He may want to be straight, and maybe on nights when he was having dinner with Caroline and even kissing her goodnight at the end of it—a part of him fearing she would be able to taste some of the cum he'd taken in his mouth from Dominic—he might be able to convince himself that he is straight. But the time in the dark, naked with Dominic and becoming aroused from thoughts of other men, made it impossible for him to lie to himself. Because the truth was that he probably wasn't as straight anymore as he thought...or maybe...just maybe....that he was never quite as straight as he thought to begin with.

And despite that desire to belong with society—to be a straight man—James feared the truth. That he was always different. That time he had gotten an erection from a physical from his male family doctor as a teenager being proof enough.

His thoughts were interrupted again. This time, it was by the feel of Dominic wrapping his fingers around him. He gripped James's erection without a word and eased his hand upwards and back down. Upwards and back down again. Slow to start and gradually increasing pressure and speed. And yes, James thought to himself, different or not, I'll never be able to give this up... I don't want to give it up... God, please don't make me give it up...

Dominic's thumb rubbed the tiny droplet of precum that started on the tip of James's cock, and James gasped from the intensity. His groin was electrified—a state of tensing and untensing—till he realized he was thrusting into his student's palm. Fucking Dominic's grasp on him.

James moaned.

"Twice so soon?" Dominic teased. He sat up a little, watching James writhe as his hand jerked him. His eyes traced every inch of the hairy teacher. His face was close enough that James could feel his breath on him, and it made him tingle.

He felt naughty.

No, his mind reasoned, this was not what straight boys did. This was not even what straight men did—lying naked and vulnerable while another equally naked man touched him. Stroked him to pleasure in a way no other man had ever done for him prior to Dominic. The thought intensified it in him—making him feel powerless and sexy—as his eyes locked with Dominic's. His lips quivering with wordless pleading. Wanting to beg the younger man not to stop and being afraid of how gay it'd make him to beg for it.

The pleasure was building as Dominic's hand moved faster, his pinky giving his hairy balls a light caress with every downstroke. Revving up the intensity in a way only Dom knew to do. He thrust harder, forcing the younger man's hand further into the air as it met his pelvis. Till he was on the verge of losing control.

"Please," he finally whispered. And when it seemed that Dominic could not have possibly heard him, he repeated himself. And this time, it was harder to hide the desperation in his voice. "Please, baby... Please..."

"Please what?" Dominic teased.

James groaned. "Please..."

As if he was in no mood to further tease, Dominic squirmed down the bed until his mouth was in line with James's waist. Then, only seconds later, he brought his mouth down on his teacher's throbbing erection and took it deep to the base. Dom's face went tomato red as he went down, forcing himself to take it as deep as he could, only to lighten seconds later when he tightened his lips around the dick and drew back up till only the tip was in his mouth. The hand Dom had been using to masturbate him found James's balls, rubbing the fuzzy orbs till James moaned even more. Panting as he fought to keep the pleasure from exploding.

It seemed the harder he tried to control the sensual feel of his younger lover's mouth on him, however, the more determined Dom became to finish him off harder and faster than anyone had ever made James climax before. His mouth tightened around his teacher's concrete erection, his tongue zig-zagging under the shaft as his mouth traveled down. Sucking as much precum out of his history teacher/lover as he could.

Dominic's fingers traveled away from their toying with James's balls to rubbing his perineum and—as he deepthroated the tip of his cock—in between his ass cheeks. James could feel every manipulation and intense pleasure Dominic was providing to him. He quivered in the delicious wrong of it all and that naughty, persistent thought that, yes, this was what he needed. That despite all of his mental efforts to latch onto a sexual identity which brought him no pleasure, he really just needed a man. Because men—he couldn't deny—knew best how to pleasure other men.

As if in agreement, Dominic's finger zeroed in on his hole and slid in for the first time. James just about yelped from the combination of pleasure and pain. His hole burned from the invasion of Dominic's digit. But the slobbering wetness from Dom sucking him—the warm feel of his throat welcoming him in—was near divine. And that wonderfully taboo thought that this was so wrong—so wrong not only because of the teaching law it broke but because it was another male—consumed him, making him harder as Dominic's finger touched a toughened nub somewhere inside him. Rubbing it—giving him fireworks of euphoria whenever Dom's finger ran across it—until James was reduced to whimpers. Panting and barely managing that pathetic plea again and again—"Please....please...please..."

His hole flexed around Dom's finger, wishing it could go deeper. James could feel that building tension within him, but now he was powerless to stop it. He was losing control. He was vulnerable. And as wrong as it might have been, it was so right. So right that the stars must have aligned and conspired with time to create this beautiful moment of unbelievable sensations. Right enough that he could be okay with never having been completely straight to experience this, knowing he would have admitted to being gayer than Elton John if Dominic's finger would just keep touching him this special way.

His dick exploded, spewing forceful loads into Dominic's throat. The tip twitched into his warm mouth like a machine gun until the skin became too sensitive for it to give any more. Dominic stayed latched onto him that special way for a while, using his tongue to coax as many remaining droplets as James could manage, until finally it was too much for him to bare and he eased the younger man off him.

Dominic's finger departed James's opening, and James found the empty feeling it left behind a little awkward. His mind even unable to process the fact he had just been fingered and enjoyed it more than a straight man should.

The eighteen-year-old crawled up the bed and collapsed beside his teacher. He gave him a sloppy kiss with what cum remained on his lips before rolling onto his back, eyes taking in the ceiling. And for a moment, they shared no sounds but their ragged breathing coming down from orgasmic high.

"You always feel so good," Dominic whispered.

James nodded, his mind flood and receding like a wavy shoreline with his conflicting thoughts. He said nothing.

When their breathing finally slowed to normal, the younger man opened his mouth and stopped. And while he had said nothing, a small piece of James could sense there was more behind it. Something which was, perhaps, too difficult to put into words. He waited, both hoping and not hoping Dominic would gather the courage to speak his mind. Wanting to be there to be supportive and loving but also scared of the unknown which might further complicate their already complex matters of the heart.

After a beat, Dominic said in a low voice. "I love being with you."

And although it wasn't exactly an "I love you," it filled him with as much warmth as those three words could have. James Monaco would sometimes wonder in the future if that hadn't been just what Dominic Anderson meant and if the future of their conversation could have altered if he had said it back. After a minute, he realized he hadn't said anything in return. He opened his mouth to alleviate the storm of conflict in his mind, but before he could bring himself to do that, he found himself speaking from the heart. "I miss you when you're not around...and I wouldn't trade our time together for anything."

Dom turned to face him, a smile spreading across his face. But James's brain became so entangled with his deepest fears—that he was falling in deeper with someone he was bound to hurt if this continued—that he couldn't look at him. He knew if he did it the image of him would only haunt him in the morning. After another minute of silence, Dom said slowly. "I want you, James." And when it seemed his words were not clear enough, he added. "I want only you... For good."

James's breath hitched in his throat. He didn't know what to say. And for as much warmth as those words filled him with, they dripped icy fear deep in his spine. He swallowed hard and managed. "For good?"

Dominic nodded. "For good."

The teacher opened his mouth to speak, only to let his words fall off. His heart warm and overjoyed with what was happening between them. His mind telling him that it could never work. Finally, he managed, "I truly wish that was possible...but I don't know if it ever could be..."

"What do you mean?" Dom's face was a glass jar—empty and fragile. His tone cautious.

James finally looked at his lover, and that fragile face did haunt him. And he felt terrible for all of this—for allowing their hearts to entangle so far when it seemed that the deck was stacked so well against them. "I don't know how to put it into words to sum up all of this...but you know that I want you Dom. And I do want only you." He sighed, the next part harder for him to say. "But what we've been doing has been illegal, even though you're legally an adult. And while I'm sure we could be very happy together, even if there was no law breaking, I don't know if the world would ever understand... If your parents would understand."

Dom shook his head. Moisture was forming in his eyes. "You're wrong. I came out to my Dad, James... I'm gay. He told me he just wants me to be happy."

The older man sat up and took his younger lover's hand in his. Fighting off the tinges of fear creeping up his spine and catching at the base of his neck. "So you...told him."

"Well...he knows I'm with a guy. Not..."

James nodded and finished for him. "Not your History teacher."

Dom nodded.

James looked down at their fingers, entwined on the bedspread. He tried to remember the details of that handhold—fearing it would be their last—and tried to commit the feel of Dominic's fingers against his to memory. When he spoke, his voice was lower. Dripping with defeat. "If he ever finds out that you have been with your teacher, Dominic...I can almost guarantee that he wouldn't be so accepting."

The young adult drew his hand away from his lover. "How can you say that? You don't even know him."

"I know people, Dominic." James bit his lip and swallowed before continuing. "And I know parents. Your father loves you and wants the best for you. But parents also have a habit of interfering when you're putting your life together—most often with the intent of trying to do more good than harm."

Dominic shook his head.

"Your parents would probably view this as a situation where I had the upper hand because I'm older and the one in a position to give you a grade... And in quite a few scenarios between other teachers and students in the past, that's exactly what the dynamic looked like. And...because of the way some scenarios like that have been, I doubt they'd be willing to believe in what we have."

"You're wrong, James," Dominic whispered.

James faced him and shook his head. "Maybe yes and maybe no... But if I'm not, will you visit me in prison, Dominic?"

"I wouldn't let them do that."

"You might not want them to... But that doesn't mean it'll stop it from happening."

Without a word, Dominic was out of the bed, and James could tell the jar broke. It killed him seeing his younger lover like that, and more than that, he hated himself for having caused that. And then, like a domino effect, he hated himself even more for allowing Dominic to get so close to him that he could be hurt this way. He watched in silence as Dominic put on his clothes, his back to him so—James guessed—it would hide the beginning of tears.

After a few seconds, he reluctantly climbed out of his side of the bed and grabbed his underwear from the floor and put them on. Then he stopped Dominic in his tracks as he made for the bedroom door. The eighteen-year-old tried to sidestep him, but James stepped in front of him, trying to look him in the eye. "All I'm saying is that this is—"

"No," Dominic said quietly. One of his cheeks was wet from a stray tear. And the eyes that had looked up James so lovingly lately were void of joy. Hurt filled them. "It's not complicated, James."

"It is, baby... I wish it wasn't, but it is."

"Then I don't know what to do."

"I want to be with you," James said before he could stop himself. "I...Please listen."

But Dominic shook his head. "That's just it. I want to be with you too...but maybe I don't know if I can do this."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I can't visit you in prison, James. So, that leaves us with carrying on in secret...and I'm in love with you. I don't want to be a secret, James. I want it all."

James felt as though he'd been kicked in his stomach. Whatever words he could have said to try to repair the damage done left him as the most beautiful words in the world to him—

(...I'm in love with you...)

—struck him with the fact that Dominic was right. The weight of his realization that Dominic needed—and deserved—better than some romps in the sheets and sneaking around with an engaged man hit home. And he knew then Dom deserved much better than he could give him.

He couldn't say anything, so he only stepped aside.

Dominic left the room. And as if hoping that he'd give some indication that he'd be back again tomorrow night or the next night, James trailed behind him slowly. But Dom gave no indication. He only gathered the few things he brought over without a word and headed for the door.

James intercepted him, wanting to say something but uncertain what would make it better. The eighteen-year-old locked eyes with him, and the deep void in James's stomach told him this would be the last time he would probably ever see Dominic Anderson outside of school.

They shared a brief moment of silence, staring at each other. And then James broke it, saying the only thing he could. "I don't want this to be goodbye."

Dominic wiped his eye and looked past James, if only to stifle his emotion. "If you don't want it to be goodbye, then try."

"I have been—"

"No," Dominic said simply. "You've been sneaking around with me, holding your life in limbo because you're afraid. You're afraid of being gay—"

"Now, wait a minute," James could feel his throat getting tight.

"You're afraid of loving me," Dominic continued. "You're afraid of breaking it off with Caroline—"

"That's not fair."

"You're even afraid to try to rebuild your photography business. How many albums have you shown me of your work? Ten—fifteen? You have so much fucking talent. When are you going to drop your fear and go for the happiness you want?"

His chest was tight with emotion now too, and it was hot and mixed with anger like vinegar. He was afraid of nothing except prison, now; couldn't Dom understand that? Before he could stop himself, he responded. "Then I guess you have it all figured out. And why not—you'll be done with high school next week. The world is just one big fucking pack of gummy bears, isn't it? You have no concept of how the real-world works, Dominic."

"You fucking asshole," Dom breathed. His eyes looked on in disgust.

He reached for the door handle, but James tried to stop him. Dom batted his hand away. Then he had the door open and banged it into James's shoulder as he swung it wide. He went out into the night, and as James made to follow him, he wheeled around. And then James could see that he was starting to cry, and whatever anger James had vanished. In its place was a new hurt—the realization that he'd done even worse damage to someone he loved.

"I'm right here," Dom's voice was low, the fight suddenly out of him. "I'm right here, James, and all I want is for you to take a chance with me...to fight harder and figure something out so that we can have happiness together."

James only stared at him, unable to speak.

"But you can't do that, can you?"

"I'm sorry," James whispered.

"Me too."

Then Dominic turned and went to his car.

James stood watching him till he had the engine running and was speeding off into the night. Wishing things had been different. Knowing, deep down, that Dominic was both right and wrong. Wanting to go after him. Knowing he couldn't.

Then when only the night lay before him, James went back inside, their last words to each other replaying in his mind.

To Be Continued...