Pros & Cons Ch. 04

"To tell you that, you'd need to first understand how I know Magnus in the first place."

He set the tweezers down and perched my foot on his thigh, which seemed warmer through the sweatpants he wore. Taking the cotton ball and dabbing it to the mouth of the bottle of disinfectant he'd pulled from his bag, he added, "And it's a long story."

"I have time."

I nearly kicked out when the pain shot through me. Axel gently dabbed the ball to my wound, removing what dirt remained. He still hadn't looked at me.

"Remember when I told you I never knew my mama?"

If he blamed this entire situation on her, I was going to lose my mind.

"Yes?"

Now he meets my gaze. His hands stilled and he dropped the ball beside the tissue, and said, "She ran off with a man she'd recently met. I was six months old when she dropped me off at my father's, leaving me at his doorstep. My father wasn't exactly the best of men, but he provided. He housed, fed and clothed me. I didn't know how exactly he did all that when he worked as a mechanic at the local repair shop, but I'd find out later that my father stole cars and sold the parts on the black market. I just so happened to walk in on him doing a deal. He realised he couldn't lie to me, so instead, he taught me. I was stealing like a pro before I hit puberty, so my father took me with him when he ran his jobs."

"He sounds like a real role model," I said sarcastically.

His nostrils flared. "Not all of us can have the white picket fence and house in the suburbs, Sienna. My father wasn't perfect, but he did the best he could in a world that already thought of him as worthless. And I was glad to have the love of at least one parent."

I felt a pang of shame, but I didn't say anything more. He averted his gaze, returning his attention to my foot. With infinite care, he gently placed a square of gauze on the cut and wrapped the bandage around my foot. I watched his hands move, listened as he continued his story.

"We attracted the attention of some dangerous people. They weren't thrilled about the competition, so they started watching us for weaknesses. When they realised we were just a pop-and-son operation, they called CPS on us. Pops was thrown in prison. Twenty-five minimum because he was a repeat offender. They had me in a group home before I even knew what was going on. That... is where I met Magnus."

My heart went out to the younger Axel. Abandoned by his mother and then torn away from the only person in the world who had ever loved him. It would've changed him, taken what little innocence he had left after taking up a life of crime.

"Those kinds of places are pretty rough. The strongest had the power and the weakest were abused. Magnus was among those that got beaten up. He was a lot smaller back then. Younger. Softer. The complete opposite of what I was. I must've been six feet even then, and I was built like a truck because I had to be. My neighbourhood was rough, so fighting was as much a part of growing up as learning your ABC's. That's why the others didn't bother me."

A pause as he picked up another length of bandage and began wrapping it around my ankle. He continued, his story gaining momentum. "I was up late one night when I heard a noise in the kitchen. Bunch of the older kids had a little boy cornered near the pantry, taunting and beating on him. They liked that he tried to fight them, that he got up every time they kicked him to the ground. I wasn't going to get involved at first - I didn't want the trouble - but then I got angry. I burst in there in a fit of rage and fucked them all up. The leader ended up in hospital with five broken ribs and a shattered jaw. The message was clear. They left him alone after that. Magnus stayed close to me and we sort of stuck together over the years. We recruited a few others, and by the time we got outta there, we'd formed a little crew of our own."

I had mixed reactions to that. On one hand, the ice around my heart melted at the thought of him defending someone who was being bullied. It proved that he had a kind heart beneath all that muscle and a conscience to boot.

However, I was soon reminded how violent he could be. That he had broken someone's neck as easily as I could open a can of tomatoes. Axel had killed someone and it didn't seem to even bother him.

"...started off with small thefts, and eventually worked our way up to bigger jobs. Layla was in charge of munitions. Bren handled the reconnaissance and getaway. Anything to do with machinery and engines, I handled. And Magnus was the brains. It just... It worked. We worked. Very, very well. We got a bunch of cash from those jobs, more than I ever thought I would see in a lifetime. I used mine to buy garages and cars, hoping to have a nice cushion for pops to fall back on when he got out."

My eyes swept close, dread sweeping through me. I peeled my eyes open to look at Axel, whose expression betrayed his pain.

"I got him a lawyer. He was going to get out on parole. I was gonna go straight. I had so many fucking plans for-" Axel shook his head, as if refusing to go down that path. "Doesn't matter now. Pops died in prison a couple weeks before he was due to be released."

My toes curled, and Axel let go of my foot when he was done. I eased it to the floor, then sat still to regard him quietly. "You went back in after he died?"

He placed an elbow on either knee, wringing his hands together as he fought to get the words out. I had a feeling I knew what was coming next, but I didn't want to interrupt.

"With all the jobs we did, we got to know a bunch of players in the underworld. Some were in prison. They told me who killed my dad. So I put a hit on him. He was dead within a week."

Jesus.

"The only problem... The guy was a major Miami cartel player. His people wanted my head on a fucking platter, and they weren't going to budge. Not until Magnus got involved," he admitted, cracking his knuckles. I wondered if this is what he did when he was anxious. "He settled the whole thing. I don't know how, but suddenly the bounty on my head was gone. I owed him my life. Magnus took that quite literally, and I've been at his beck and call since."

"You never tried to leave?"

He shook his head, pulling at his index finger. Then absently massaged the digit with the thumb of his other hand. "I did. Twice. The first time was shortly after the crew disbanded and the others went their separate ways. I thought that would be it, but Magnus reminded me that I was bound by more than just my word. The second time... He wanted me to kill this woman in Miami. She was some mob/cartel princess with a shit ton of power... I couldn't do it. Fortunately, she was married off to one of the organisation's capos, so Magnus couldn't touch her. I was fucking done after that, packed up my shit and got about as far as the highway before he caught up to me. Magnus tossed me into a cell in the basement, where I was beaten and tortured for his pleasure."

I rose, curious to see the scars he'd sustained from that terrible time in his life. He waited until I was standing behind him to remove the shirt he wore, and I gasped when I realised he'd been shot. "You were just going to let this get infected?"

He shrugged. "It won't. I'll be fine."

Some of the anger I felt melted away, and I found myself reaching for a clean cotton ball, dabbing it with disinfectant like he'd done for my foot. I was careful not to hurt him, my eyes roaming over his skin. His old wounds had healed so well, they were barely visible anymore.

"I was one of the lucky ones. He didn't want to damage his best enforcer too much. He still needed me to work. I won't go into detail about everything I went through, but I wouldn't wish that shit on anyone. It was... fucking horrible."

I paused, wondering if the same fate awaited him now. If Magnus could be that cruel because Axel refused a job, what would he do to the person trying to take him down? I had proven to be a thorn in his side, so my punishment would be a hundred times worse.

If he was to be believed, Axel had made it onto Magnus's bad side as well. How had he gone from trusted advisor to being hunted like a dog. "Why is he after you, if you're his best enforcer?"

Axel handed me a rectangle of gauze, some tape to hold it in place. I took the former and held it against the wound before placing each strip on the edges of the gauze. I didn't think it would hold long, but Axel waved away my concerns.

"Let's just say I didn't do a very good job. Magnus found my performance wanting and threatened me yesterday. I met with him at the zoo to fill him in on my progress. I'd just been heavily reprimanded and threatened when you called, so I was a bit anxious for your safety. When you mentioned dinner... I realised it was the perfect opportunity to get you as far away as I could for however long it took the State to drop the charges."

My eyes narrowed, and I stepped back from him. Axel sighed and ran a troubled hand through his blonde mane, exposing the sharpness of his clenched jaw. "Why would we drop the charges? We have enough evidence to put both Magnus and Wilson in jail for several lifetimes. They're the most wanted men in the..."

I gasped, long and dramatically. He glanced at me, his shoulders tensed as if he were waiting for me to lash out violently, and I stared at him for several long minutes. "What did you do Axel?"

His gaze darted away in an obviously guilty manner, but he had the grace to look me in the eye when he said, "I erased everything on your drive, destroyed the files you had and got rid of every witness who was willing to testify against Wilson. All the evidence you had is gone. Forever."

A fury unlike any other swept through me, clawing violently at my insides. It's powerful and overwhelming, and I barely stop myself from taking the tweezers on the stool and burying them in his neck.

"Wow. Interesting," I said, my voice eerily calm. "Did you clear my drive before or after you fucked me? It had to be after, I'm sure. You wouldn't pass up the free pussy."

He straightened. "Fucking you wasn't part of the deal. I spent weeks prior to that episode in the bar just watching you, figuring you out. It was for intel at first, but then I began to look forward to it. I wondered what you'd think of me if we ever met, how you'd respond to someone like me. Then I actually talked to you. Fuck, I didn't expect you to be so..."

"Easy?"

He rose so quickly the chair he was sitting on toppled over. Axel bore down on me, his eyes sparking with genuine anger. "Stop that. You're not just some piece of ass, Sienna. I'm risking everything to keep you alive. You have no fucking idea the shit he wants to do to you. The evil that piece of shit is capable of would make you sick. I wouldn't be here I didn't give a fuck about you."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to accept his words as truth. But it was so difficult to do that when he had lied to my face since the moment we met.

"Why did you approach me? Why not just do the job and get out?"

He hesitated. I knew the moment he considered lying, even going so far as to open his mouth to do just that. But he groaned, and turned away from me. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yes. It fucking does," I insisted, my hand closing around his forearm. Heat coursed through my arm, warming all the right parts. I tightened my grasp, suddenly desperate to understand. I couldn't be the only one under this spell. "I want to know why, Axel."

"Because I wanted you. I wanted to know if your skin was as soft as it looked, if your mouth would taste as sweet as I imagined. I wanted... I needed to know whether your moans would sound better if I was the one coaxing them out of you. And now that I know what being with you is like, it's all I can think about."

He was breathing heavily, his bare chest heaving with every shallow breath he took. He closed the distance, and I knew he was already hard for me, his cock eager to be welcomed back inside the warmth and tightness of my pussy.

"You lied to me," I reminded him. "You manipulated me into sleeping with you, bringing out in me a slut that you bent for your pleasure."

"I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I wasn't entirely honest with you about my intentions. I regret going about it dishonestly... But I do not regret a single second I've spent inside you. I love fucking you. I love how you respond to me and I love that I'm the one you are your truest self with. Being with you is incomparable, darlin'. There's nothing like it in the whole world."

Fuck.

I needed air. But the room we were in didn't have a balcony I could retreat to for some space. As if sensing I was freaking out just a bit, Axel offered, "Get some sleep, darlin'. I'll wake you up before we need to leave."

Did he plan on leaving me behind? Would he be long gone by the time I woke up, off to wherever he came from?

"You don't mind if I crash next to you?" he asked. I glanced back at the king-sized bed and then up at him. He smiled and grabbed his t-shirt, pulling it back to cover all those glorious muscles of his...

"Best behaviour. Scout's honour," he vowed, making the sign with his hand. After everything he told me, I didn't believe for a second that he'd been in the scouts. Nevertheless, I climbed on top of the bed and lay down, facing the window. After moving around a bunch, Axel finally eased himself beside me and sighed softly.

Exhausted beyond all measure and scraped emotionally raw by the events of this morning and Axel's confession, it wasn't long before my eyes fluttered closed and I fell into a deep sleep.

***

We were out of the hotel by three in the afternoon, looking respectable and clean. I insisted on taking the key card to the receptionist, smiling broadly at her when her gaze swept over my appearance. I was wearing blue jeans and a cream sweater, my beige coat to keep warm and a pair of hiking boots to ease the pressure on my foot.

I thanked her with a warm smile and turned on my heel, walking as swiftly as I could back to Axel's side. Now that we'd spoken and cleared the air somewhat, he could share his plan with me and I could discuss mine with him.

I would not, however, tell him about the little USB Rory had given me two weeks ago. That, I would keep to myself, at least until I figured out how trustworthy Axel actually was.

I took the hand he offered and we hurried to the car, tossing our bags inside for the drive to the train station. He was tense the whole way there, and I wondered if that had anything to do with him abandoning a second car that day.

We didn't speak until we were safely inside our little bedroom, having been ushered here by our attendant. Axel ordered a bunch of food to be delivered later, and sent the older man away with a hundred dollar tip before turning the lock. I sat on the chair while he shoved our bags into the compartments available, then collapsed into the bench opposite mine.

"Why the train?" I asked, tugging the curtains closed just a fraction. Axel did the same with his, leaving them open towards the middle so some sunlight drifted in.

"Magnus knows I have access to a lot of cars. He'll have the roads watched, and we can't risk getting captured before we have a plan in place."

I nodded, understanding. I glanced out the large window, watched the people milling about as I tucked my hair behind my ears. As he leaned forward, I came to a decision on my next course of action. Axel wouldn't like it, and I was in for one hell of a fight. But I would stand my ground, as firmly as he was able to stand his. But first, I needed something else...

"You're the first man I've been myself with in a while, Axel. I know it was a little premature to tell you how safe I felt with you, especially when we barely know each other, but it's true. Despite your lies and the fact that you murdered someone right in front of me, I still feel safe enough to be in the same room with you. I know you won't hurt me, physically and sexually. I am, however, deeply hurt that you betrayed me and I'm not sure I could ever trust you again."

He let out a lengthy sigh, and sat back slowly, so he didn't disrupt the gauze. I looked away when I saw a man on the platform glance my way, suddenly wary of being spotted, and regarded Axel with a calm I did not feel. He slowly licked his lips, considering his next words.

"That's fair. It might be futile, but I'll do my best to earn your trust. I promise I won't lie to you again, for one. I'll tell you everything you need to know."

I leaned back as well, folding my arms over my chest. My gaze was focused solely on Axel, so I could gauge how honest he would be when he answered my questions.

"So this thing between us, it has nothing to do with whatever orders Magnus gave you?"

"No, it doesn't. He doesn't like that I got close to you," he said. I nodded, accepting this as the truth.

I picked at my broken nails, wishing for the first time that I'd thought to bring a nail clipper or filer. Maybe I could buy one when we stopped in Kansas.

"Why? Did he think I'd somehow manipulate you into switching sides?"

He chuckled, his eyes sparking with humour for the first time in a while. It warmed my heart, made my insides twist with a longing I didn't even know I could feel.

"Maybe," he admitted, shrugging. "Ironic, isn't it?"

"Perhaps he wanted to be in control of an unfamiliar situation. Maybe he thought that being in charge of everything would give him a definite advantage."

He stared quietly at me, understanding. "We're not talking about Magnus anymore, are we?"

"I guess I'm just curious whether the power you held over me is what got you off, or whether I am owed that credit."

Now he hesitates. His brow knitted together, and he considered my point before he spoke. "Being in control isn't what gets me off, Sienna. Fucking you, feeling your pussy stretch and gush to accommodate my cock, the fucking sounds you make when I'm inside you... that's what turns me on."

"So you wouldn't mind if I took control then? As long as you're fucking me?" I asked, my voice dropping to a low, husky tone. His intense gaze swept over me, trying to gauge where exactly I was steering this conversation.

"It didn't bother you before, so I'm guessing you feel some kinda way about it now because you don't trust me anymore. I don't do it to subjugate you, I'm just used to being in control."

"In some instances, so am I."

He exhaled, drawing it out over a few seconds. Axel ran a hand through his hair, kept it on the nape of his neck. His voice a gentle growl, he drawled, "I can give you control if that's what you want, Sienna. If it'll prove to you that I trust you, then-"

"No," I argued, moving to sit on the edge of my seat. "I want you to want it too. Just as much as you crave bending me to your will, I need you to crave being on your knees for me too."

Beneath the dark material of his sweatpants, I saw his cock jerk with desire. His eyes melted to a light blue, and in the pools I saw my own need reflected back at me.

But I needed him to say the words.

He swallowed, then confessed, "I'd get on my knees any day for you, darlin'." To prove his point, he shrugged out of his jacket and dropped to one knee. Then the other. The whole time, his gaze was locked on mine, his sincerity and lust shining above everything else.

My body tingled, every inch of it. I found my hand combing through his blonde hair, my fingers massaging his scalp the same way his did when he had a hand in my hair. And as abruptly as I'd begun the gentle caressing, I stopped. I didn't miss the fear that flashed in his eyes when he thought I

was denying him, or the relief that followed when I shrugged out of my coat.

"Lower your pants. I want to see your cock."