Proving My Sanity

"I could. How do you think the village and society in general would take that?"

"The village? They think you already have fifteen wives. Marrying them wouldn't make a difference. They're proud of your unusualness. The Vicar? He knows you are living with fifteen women. Society? The Andrews family has a scandal in its closet already with your brother John. Fifteen wives are a minor event compared with owning Sydney's brothels staffed with convict women. You and I are already beyond society's pale even if I am a member of the New South Wales legislature. My money makes me apparently respectable. So does yours no matter how many wives you have. Anyway, you don't mix in society. Anyone wanting to shun you would have to visit you first."

"So you wouldn't care if I married fourteen more women?"

"Care? Of course I would care. I'd be delighted, Anthony. If you want a Best Man fourteen times over your nephew Robert will do it."

"Thank you. I may take you up on that offer. I have some idea about Hindu weddings but not one with fourteen or fifteen brides."

"The cricket man, Mr Singh? He's Hindu, isn't he? He might know a Hindu priest that could marry you."

"Mr Singh? Yes. He's Hindu. He is enjoying the food cooked for the staff. Much of it is familiar to him and he has been living on English cooking for a couple of years."

"Then ask his advice, Anthony."

"Won't I shock him?"

"You don't understand, Anthony, do you? Everyone knows you have an establishment of fifteen women. I even knew in New South Wales on the other side of the world. That was because you were part of my family, but in England? They know throughout the whole county. People in society in London know about Anthony and his women. Mr Singh will have known long before you considered making a cricket pitch. You can't hide from the facts. You're famous."

"Or infamous, Robert?"

"Many are just jealous. Having met your household I can understand jealousy too. They are all intelligent, articulate and attractive. Many men would be scared of having so many clever women in one place. They'd feel threatened. But you're not, are you?"

"Threatened? Of course not. I love them. They love me and they are friends with each other."

"And they respect you too, Anthony. They know you have helped them to become the educated women they are. Go on. Marry them! They'll be happier even if Hindu marriages mean nothing in English law."

We arrived back at the house.

"I'll see you later, Anthony," Robert said. "I want to talk dams with Asha and Mr Harris. I think you should have a rest before lunch."

Robert was right. Sumitra and Meena fussed around me and helped me into my bedroom. Meena massaged my legs again. She sat on the side of the bed. This time I hadn't undressed.

"I'll rest for a little while, Meena." I looked at the clock. "Could you see if Mr Singh could come to my study at one o'clock?"

"Mr Singh? Do you want Mr Harris as well?"

"No thank you. Just Mr Singh please."

I closed my eyes. I heard Meena leave. I was just aware that she was back within five minutes and sat back on the edge of the bed. I went to sleep.

+++

Meena woke me up by gently stroking my cheek.

"It's ten to one, Anthony. You've done too much today."

I must have done. Normally I wake up when I want to. Tomorrow I will have to rest more.

"Thank you, Meena."

She helped me to get off the bed, gently brushed my clothes to reduce the creases and supported me as I walked towards the study.

"Has anyone arranged tea for me and Mr Singh?" I asked.

"Yes. Mr Singh likes Darjeeling tea. It will there within five minutes."

I sat down behind my desk, or rather Meena helped me to sit down. I was still tired. A few minutes later Mr Singh arrived. I apologised that I couldn't get up.

"Don't worry, Mr Andrews. I understand. You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, Mr Singh, I need some advice, but first some tea is coming."

Almost as I spoke the tea arrived brought by Sumitra. She poured the tea for us, gave me a puzzled look, and left. We sipped the tea.

"I understand, Mr Singh, that you are Hindu?"

"Yes, Mr Andrews, I am."

"This might seem an odd question but do you know any Hindu priests locally?"

Mr Singh smiled broadly.

"Know any, Mr Andrews? I am one."

"You are?"

"Yes. I may be a cricket grounds man in training but I am a Hindu priest. And why do you want a Hindu priest?"

"You are aware of my domestic arrangements, Mr Singh?"

He smiled again.

"Almost everyone within a fifty mile radius is aware, Mr Andrews. Many now know that Sumitra is Mrs Andrews."

"And are puzzled about the others?"

"Yes. Are you suggesting what I am thinking?"

"Probably. As you know, Christians only have one wife..."

"But Hindus usually have no more than four, not fifteen, Mr Andrews."

"I know. Hindu marriages have no meaning whatever in English Law, Mr Singh. Whether I have one Hindu wife or fifteen can't change that. But my ladies would like to be wives even if that is meaningless in law."

"It wouldn't really be very meaningful to Hindus either, Mr Andrews, but I understand your dilemma. Shall we say that I'm not a very particular Hindu priest? As a priest I would be prepared to bend our customs a little to regularise the reality of your household. If that's what you want I can perform the basic very simple Hindu wedding. I couldn't use the full marriage service because it wouldn't be appropriate. But the simple wedding recognises partnerships that already exist. That I can do for fifteen wives. If we were in India I might be criticised. In England? No one will care or notice."

"Except my wives."

"Yes. It might mean something for them. That would be my reason for performing the ceremonies. I would do it for them, not for you."

"Thank you. And how long would it take beforehand and for the ceremonies themselves?"

"Since they are meaningless in law, no notice is necessary. That would be required in India but not here. I would need a fire that you and the brides could walk around. The service itself? Even for fifteen names instead of one the simplest version would take between a quarter and half an hour."

"For each wife?"

"No, Mr Andrews, to marry all fifteen to you."

"Then that's what I would like, Mr Singh."

He laughed.

"It's not quite that simple, Mr Andrews. You have to ask each one of them to marry you and get their consent first."

"Of course. How silly of me. Assume that I have done that. When could the ceremony take place?"

"After their consent? Within the day."

"Thank you. I will see all of them today and ask their consent. Would you be free on Wednesday evening to conduct fifteen marriages?"

"I would be delighted and honoured to, Mr Andrews. IF you have fifteen willing wives."

"I'm sure I will have. They have been asking me ever since I married Sumitra."

"Then I wish you the best of fortune with fifteen proposals of marriage, Mr Andrews."

He explained how the ceremony would be conducted. Each bride has to be given away by their notional father -- any man could be that -- and the bride and groom have to walk around the fire seven times making a vow each time. For fifteen of them it could be a long chain. Sometimes the bride will lead, or one of the brides, and sometimes the groom leads. He suggested that we should actually walk around the fire sixteen times so each bride leads once, and the groom once. Once I would lead all fifteen. For the other fifteen circuits I would be last in the line.

"There is one thing you haven't mentioned, Mr Singh. Your fee for conducting the marriages."

"Fee? I have no idea. I've never performed a marriage in England."

"Shall we say that I should pay you what I paid the Vicar for my marriage to Sumitra?"

"That seems reasonable, Mr Andrews."

"Very well."

I opened a drawer of my desk and pulled out my cheque book. I wrote the date and the amount.

"I assume you have a bank account, Mr Singh?"

"Yes."

"What name shall I put?"

"R Singh is enough. The bank can't spell my first name consistently."

"R Singh it is." I signed the cheque, blotted it and handed it across my desk to Mr Singh.

"That much?" He was surprised. "Your Vicar is very expensive."

"But he didn't perform fifteen marriages, only one. That is fifteen times his fee."

"Thank you very much indeed, Mr Andrews. That amount will allow me to send for my wife from India when I have found somewhere to live."

"That won't be difficult, Mr Singh. I want you to be the permanent grounds man for our cricket pitch. There will be a salary for that post and a house for the grounds man to live in. Mr Harris has already allocated a house for you. It is close to where the cricket pitch will be constructed. I understand it has five bedrooms. Is that enough?"

"Yes, sir. I only have one wife and as yet no children."

"Unlike me."

"Indeed, Mr Andrews, unlike you. Give me time..."

"Thank you, Mr Singh. Will you ask Mrs Andrews to join me, please?"

As he left I thought of where the ceremony could take place. The Great Hall still has a central but unused fire pit. A fireplace and chimney was installed hundreds of years ago but a small fire could be lit in the fire pit.

"What have you been doing, Anthony?" Sumitra asked before giving me a kiss. "And why with Mr Singh?"

"Mr Singh is a Hindu priest, Sumitra."

"He is?" Sumitra paused and looked at me carefully. "You're not? You can't!"

"I can and I will, Sumitra. Will you marry me according to a simple Hindu rite?"

"Yes, Anthony, of course I will, but is this wise? You could jeopardise your proof of sanity by marrying me as a Hindu."

I smiled at her. She sat down suddenly.

"Anthony! You're not going to?"

"I am. I am going to have one Christian and Hindu wife and fourteen more Hindu wives, if they'll have me."

"You ARE insane, Anthony. The village will never accept your sanity if you have fifteen wives."

"I know. I'll explain AFTER the marriages. Trust me, Sumitra. I know exactly what I am doing. I have asked my nephew Robert to be my Best Man. Now that Mr Singh has reminded me what the wedding ceremony will be I think I'll ask Robert to give away the Brides as their notional father, and James can be my Best Man."

"I love you, Anthony. We love you. But you ARE insane. You can't have fifteen wives in England."

"I know Sumitra. But I have a wife and fourteen mistresses. The difference in English Law is nothing. But it will mean something to those I love, won't it?"

"Yes, Anthony. They'll love you even more for it."

"And I will have made vows to support them and all our children."

"Which mean nothing in England."

"Those vows will mean something to me. I'm not making them lightly. I am serious about this."

Sumitra sat on my lap, wound her arms around me, and kissed me again and again.

"You are insane, Anthony, but I love this insanity."

I kissed her.

"Please can you ask all the fourteen to be in the Long Gallery at three o'clock preferably without any of the children. It shouldn't take long."

"What shouldn't?"

"I have to ask all of them to marry me, and they have to agree."

"Fourteen proposals in one day? You are insane."

"Fifteen proposals. You've just accepted, Sumitra."

"OK. Fifteen, you bigamist." She laughed.

"But I'm not and won't be a bigamist in English Law. I have a large number of wives and children. The christenings on Wednesday make me responsible for bringing up and supporting all those children. I will be shown in official records as the father of all of them. That also makes me responsible for their mothers. That is the position in English Law. Whether I marry them by a rite that isn't recognised is irrelevant. They are my responsibility from Wednesday onwards, as they are now by my voluntary consent. After Wednesday? I'll explain at the marriage ceremony."

"Explain? I don't know how you can explain, but I trust you, Anthony. If I am going to get everybody to the Long Gallery by three I'll have to start now."

Sumitra kissed me and left. I stood up, walked to my study window and looked out. I could see Robert approaching from the direction of the river. I waved to him and beckoned. He lifted his hat to acknowledge my signal. A few minutes later he walked into the study.

"You wanted me, Uncle? I had to change my boots. They were muddy."

"Thank you for coming, Robert. I wanted to talk to you while James is away. I hope he is successful."

"So do I. It is asking a lot to persuade a young woman to travel to New South Wales."

"I'm sure his prospects from you will persuade her father at least."

"They should. Very few young men in England would be potentially as rich."

"But that's not what I wanted to talk about, Robert. I have spoken to Mr Singh. He IS a Hindu priest so..."

"You want him to conduct some marriages?"

"Yes. Fifteen of them, on this Wednesday. You offered to be my Best Man but I understand my brides have to be given away by a male relation. Will you act as substitute Brides' father instead?"

"Of course. But acquiring fifteen daughters even if I give them away immediately might puzzle my wife."

"If she knows."

"She'll know, Anthony. She'll know but I think she'll forgive me if I bring James and his bride. But yes, I'll do it for my uncle Anthony."

"Thank you. Sumitra has just accepted my proposal. Shortly I have to make fourteen more proposals of marriage and hope I'm accepted fourteen times."

"I'm sure you will be, Anthony. I'll have fifteen aunts by marriage. That's a large increase from an uncle, a recently married aunt and a distant cousin."

"Of course. I hadn't thought of that. Sumitra already is your aunt but the other fourteen will be too."

"And if I am giving away fifteen daughters I ought to provide each with a dowry. Coutts gave me four cheque books. I think I might need them. I was going to give cash to Tuesday's brides and Wednesday's christened children. I don't have enough cash on me for fifteen dowries but I can write fifteen cheques."

"You don't have to, Robert."

"But it means nothing to me. If I spend too much which is very unlikely I can always dig up some more gold. I think one thousand guineas each would be suitable?"

"Suitable? That is very generous, Robert."

"I'll enjoy the expression on their faces when their so-called father gives them their dowries. Which reminds me. I must give James an allowance if he is to marry. I'll start him on five thousand guineas a year and ten thousand when he is a married man."

"That would be riches indeed for him. I think James currently lives on about seven hundred guineas a year from his father's investments."

"Very well. I'll tell him this evening that he's getting an allowance and give him six months in advance."

"I don't know much about James' intended Emily but I think her father isn't well off. He's a younger son and Emily is his youngest daughter of five. Her father might struggle to finance Emily's wedding."

"We can't have that, can we? You and I can pay for James' wedding to Emily."

"I think that would be a good idea. But how are the ideas for dams proceeding? Was it worth getting your boots muddy?"

"And Asha's skirts. Yes. We have found several places where harder rock causes small rapids. Dams could be built at each of them. Those dams could regulate the flow in winter, and if you wanted could power a water mill or mills."

"Mills? At present we send our grain away but a mill for grinding cattle feed would be useful."

"You need a hydraulic engineer to work out the detail. But Asha seems better informed than I am. I've learned more about dams from her than I found out by trial and error in New South Wales. She's a very talented lady."

"They all are, Robert. But I ought to get ready to make my marriage proposals. I'll see you at dinner."

"Good luck, Anthony. I'm sure you'll be accepted fourteen times."

+++

I changed into one of my formal suits. I was pleased that I could do it without help even though it was an effort. I walked into the Long Gallery just before three o'clock. The fifteen women were all talking as I opened the door. I walked to the centre of the gallery in absolute silence. I beckoned to Sumitra to come and stand beside me.

"Ladies! I have asked you to come here for a particular reason. On Wednesday all our children are being christened. Their baptism certificates will all name me as their father. You might not have known, but their birth registration certificates already do that. I am their father and I am acknowledged as their father in English Law. That means I am responsible for them, and also for their mothers -- you. I cannot escape that responsibility and would not want to."

I was getting some puzzled looks and some dawning comprehension.

"I have married Sumitra by the rites of the Church of England. That makes her my wife, Mrs Andrews. I can only have one wife under English Law and Sumitra is that wife. But..."

I paused. Almost all of them had realised what was coming.

"You are all Hindu despite attending our village church. As Hindu, I could marry more than one wife. The usual maximum is four wives, but..."

I paused again.

"Sumitra, wife, please can you ask each lady to come forward in order of age?"

"Asha?" Sumitra said.

Asha walked forward and stood before me. I knelt down in front of her, took her hand, and said:

"Asha, please will you be my wife by a Hindu ceremony?"

Asha smiled down at me.

"Yes, Anthony, I will."

Sumitra gestured for Asha to stand beside her.

"Gita?" Sumitra called.

I knelt before Gita and asked her to marry me. She agreed.

"Meena?"

I knelt before Meena. She agreed to marry me, and stroked my head gently before she moved aside.

I repeated my proposal eleven more times and was accepted eleven times. As I stood up after the last proposal Sumitra kissed me before passing me on to Asha, Gita and so on to the youngest and fifteenth fiancée.

I walked a few paces away from my fiancées before addressing them as a group again.

"Mr Singh is a Hindu priest. He has agreed to marry us in the simplest Hindu ceremony... On Wednesday afternoon."

That produced gasps of astonishment.

"My nephew Robert has agreed to stand in as your father. He will give you away. He has told me he will also give each of you a small dowry since he is acting as your father. He is pleased to do that but worried that acquiring fifteen aunts in one afternoon is slightly excessive. Yes. All fifteen of you will be Robert's aunt even if some of you are much younger than he is."

That produced some giggling. Being wives they could understand. Becoming aunts to a middle-aged gentleman was a novelty.

"Thank all of you for accepting me as your fiancé. But now you have some planning to do. You will need to be mothers of children to be christened on Wednesday morning, and brides on Wednesday afternoon. After we are married we will need a wedding feast. I suggest that it should be a cold buffet in the dining room. It will have to be prepared earlier because our wedding ceremony will be attended, not just by the brides and their children but by all our staff, inside and outside. It will be in the Great Hall which will have a central fire that afternoon. I and Mr Singh will explain to Sumitra how the ceremony will be conducted. It will take about half an hour and start at two o'clock."

I sat down, suddenly tired. Meena rushed across to me.

"Are you unwell, Anthony?" She asked.

"No, fiancée Meena, just tired. Tired and delighted that all of you want to marry me. Thank you."

"And now you are going back to bed, fiancé. Come on."

Meena led me out of the Long Gallery. As I left I could hear Sumitra organising my fiancées, giving them tasks for the wedding repast.

Meena undressed me and with some help from me, herself. She climbed into bed with me and rested my head against her breasts. I relaxed against their softness, satisfied with my actions for today. I was aware of Meena gentling stroking my head as I went to sleep.