PUNKS Ch. 19: Truth & Consequences

September 1994

Joe walked into Laura's office Monday morning. He had time to kill before his mid-afternoon flight. Laura had been impatiently waiting her turn with Joe as he moved through the office thanking Guerilla staffers for showing up for his friend Clyde. He closed her office door behind him and took a seat.

"So, who was that child you were with Friday?" she asked in a condescending tone, punching the word child.

"That's my friend, Casey, and she's not a child. She's twenty-four."

"She looks more like nineteen."

"Nope."

"And how old are you?"

"You know I'm thirty-three."

"Kind of old for... what's her name again?"

"Casey."

"I thought you were fucking Tina?"

"I told you we fool around sometimes. It's complicated." Joe steeled his eyes, "You don't have everything figured out, Laura. I did fly cross country for Clyde's benefit, and to visit my friends. It's not all about Tina."

"I suppose that's good news. So, who's this Casey chick?"

"Just a friend."

Joe adored Laura, they went way back, but at times she was a bit judgy about his life, and that sometimes irritated him. He stared at her, waiting for her next comment.

"So you have a girlfriend in LA, this young thing in New York, and you're fooling around with Tina?"

"Are you jealous," Joe smirked, "big sister?"

"Don't call me that. We're the same age."

"You act like my disapproving big sister, or maybe my..."

"Don't you dare call me your mom?"

"Stop acting like my mom and I won't call you that."

Laura's assistant Dawn popped her head into the office. "Kenny wants to see you before you leave."

"I was planning to," Joe said. He turned to Laura. "I'll be out next month to finalize the Budokan album. We rearranged some tracks and Kenny is cleaning up some noise on the recording. It should hit the stores before the holidays."

"Who are you going to sleep with when you come out, Casey, Tina, or both?"

"Both?" Joe smiled, "I'm not that lucky, Mom?"

Laura flipped him off.

Joe smirked. "Hey, we always talk about my life. What's going on in yours? How's Vinny, and how are the kids, Anthony and Carla?

Laura smiled. "Yes, they're doing great. Thanks for asking."

"You never talk about them and I usually forget to ask. Let me guess. Anthony is probably in first grade. Carla is what, four?"

"Very good, Joe," Laura said begrudgingly. She didn't think Joe really cared, he was just trying to change the subject. She still appreciated that he asked about her family. "Vincent made captain, he's a big shot now."

"Nice. Tell him I said congrats. Now that he's made rank, Vinny's gonna get fat, no more smoking hot fireman sex for you."

"Vin is in great shape. He works out every day." Laura glared at Joe. "And don't call him Vinny."

"Firemen do have a lot of time on their hands, lots of time to exercise."

"Yeah, they do, kinda like musicians."

"Is he still in Lower Manhattan?"

"Yes, Ten House."

"Tell him I said hello, and congrats on the stripes."

"It's not the military, Joe."

Joe shrugged, "What the fuck do I know?" He stood up. "I have to go see Kenny and then make my way to JFK. Bye, Mom."

Laura flipped him off again.

"Are you not a mom?"

Joe knew that she knew he was just changing the subject. He also knew his remembering the names of her kids, and their ages, was a big deal. On his way out he stopped by Dawn's desk.

"Thanks. You nailed it on Anthony and Carla."

"Have a good flight."

"Don't tell her you told me."

"I can keep your secrets, Joe."

"Then how the hell does everyone know them?"

Dawn shrugged, "Don't forget Kenny."

On the flight from JFK to LAX, Joe thought about the pickle he put himself in. Last time out he ass fucked Tina, hurting her feelings more than her ass. This time he fucked her hostess and friend. He was oddly okay with all of it. There was a small feeling of guilt in the back of his mind telling him he did the wrong thing both times, but it wasn't a loud voice.

-- The Quiet Before the Storm --

Joe was anxiously awaiting the phone call that usually came the morning he returned home from New York. Tina didn't call after the anal incident, but things seemed okay since then, so he suspected she'd call.

When his phone rang at 9:02 PST, it startled him, even though it rang around 9 AM most times she called. When Joe answered, the first thing Tina did was apologize for not being able to see him while he was in town.

"I was hoping to get away Sunday, but he was home all day. I just couldn't."

"That's fine. I wasn't expecting it."

"So you saw Jack Friday night. He said it was a great show, you played a few songs and raffled off a guitar."

"I did. It was a fun night. I'm glad I came out for it. Clyde doesn't look good. They guy is like forty-five going on sixty."

"He didn't look good fifteen years ago."

"No, he didn't. How was your party?"

Tina told Joe all about her parent's anniversary dinner, in more detail than he needed. When she was done she had to go, but not before one question, "Do you have any plans to come back soon?"

"I have to come out to finalize the edits on our live record, but I don't know when that'll be. Maybe the end of October."

"Please let me know, okay. I have to run. Love you."

"Love you too."

Joe was relieved that Tina's brother didn't rat him out for having a date at Tommy's. When she first mentioned Jack, he was expecting her to ask who he was with. Apparently, Jack knew better.

-- Nosey Neighbor --

Nothing had changed between Joe and Jasmine aside from the fact Joe was traveling east once a month and she had family and career obligations that sometimes interrupted their weekend hookups. There was no progress in their relationship nor did it backslide.

Joe was okay with that. He'd come to accept that his idea of them being exclusive was not going to happen. His relationships in New York had become more interesting than his same-as-it-ever-was thing with Jas.

She had no clue what was on Joe's mind when he went quiet, thinking to himself about the mess he had helped create in New York. It didn't happen often because Joe didn't let his problems back east affect his life in LA. He compartmentalized and tried to be present for Jas. One had nothing to do with the other.

When Jasmine showed up on a Friday, Joe had some uncomfortable news. He found it amusing but he wasn't sure if she would feel the same.

"I was in The Grind the other day and Frank pulled me aside. He saw us fucking in the car last week and he's being a dick about it."

"Which one is Frank?"

"He's the guy with the bad comb over. He's on the other side of the alley. It was his dog yapping that night. Remember he turned the light on?"

"Shit." Jas made a face, "What did he say? Did he see anything?"

"He said he'd appreciate it if we didn't fuck in the back parking lot."

"Is that it?"

"No, he's a busybody. He acted all offended." Joe paused, "The problem is, Frank runs his mouth and a few people know about it."

"Like who?"

"Annie, her staff, a few patrons."

"Great." Jas shook her head, "Now I can't show my face in the coffee shop."

"Or you can be like me and just own it. I don't give a fuck. It's not his business. The old pervert probably got off."

Jasmine laughed. "He is kinda creepy. That comb over is ridiculous."

"Which style? He has two, the cinnamon bun and the strudel."

Jas made a face, not getting Joe's joke. He explained.

"Frank lets what hair he has left, the stubborn survivors, grow very long. Then he either styles them in a swirl, like the cinnamon bun, or he goes back and forth, like the icing on a strudel."

"I never noticed," Jas chuckled, "because I avert my eyes."

"Most people look away. He's a ridiculous, cranky old man. I don't worry about what he says. Most people know he's a busybody and pay little attention to him."

"It doesn't bother you that he's talking shit about us?"

"Maybe a little, because he's an ass, but honestly... I don't give a fuck. We had sex in my car on my property. It's no one's fucking business. We didn't hurt anyone."

Joe didn't tell Jasmine everything. Frank told another neighbor he turned his light off but stayed in the yard and watched them through his fence. He had a disparaging remark about Jas, something racial, and Joe didn't care to share that.

"I like that we can talk about sex in a matter-of-fact way. I don't know about your moral philosophy, but your openness is impressive. Nothing is taboo with you."

"It's just sex. I don't put it in a precious box that can never be opened. That's insecure and stifling. I prefer being open and honest about it."

"I like that," Jas said, "nothing seems to bother you. You're pretty chill."

"Not always. I can also be sensitive and moody and can be a bitch sometimes."

"Yeah, but you're my bitch." She lightly pushed him, "You're a thinker. I don't always agree with you, but your position and logic is usually clear. I remember the day we met. I enjoyed talking to you. After that, I took every chance I could get to hang out with you."

Yes, I remember the stalking." Joe faked a shudder, "Stephen King is writing the novel."

"I wasn't that creepy. Was I?"

"No, Jas, you weren't. I loved your attention. I was happy to be your friend."

"But that's as far as you were going." Jas said with an attitude, "That was frustrating as all hell for me. I wanted to fuck you so bad."

"The feeling was mutual, Jas."

"Then why didn't we?"

"It's complicated."

"No it's not," she pointed a light pink fingernail at him. "You were chickenshit."

Joe laughed, "I don't deny it. I was telling people that. I didn't want to fuck it up."

"Do you remember that night after your first gig at The Surfside, we went on the beach that night and got high. We walked in the surf carrying our shoes?"

"And you kissed me," Joe said softly.

"I did. And that was it. I couldn't believe it. I still had a great time with you. We were up till dawn. I went home to my dildo wishing it was you."

Joe did not have a reply to Jasmine's memories. That night on the beach, and later at a taco shop, and then on the lamp lit boardwalk, was one his fondest memories of her. She was right, he should have fucked her back then. Finally he just said it.

"Yes, I also went home and jerked off, so I guess I called it wrong."

"I fucking kissed you in the surf. That wasn't enough of a clue."

"You're right. I should have fucked you. I blew it."

Jas put her arms about Joe's neck and looked him in the eyes. "I'm glad we fixed that." She kissed him.

Then Jas asked a question he'd been expecting for several weeks. "So you're flying east again next month. What's up with all these trips to New York? Is it five trips?"

"Yeah, in five months. The next one will be six and then I'll go back for Christmas. It's a lot."

"Tina must love that."

"I didn't see her last week. She was busy."

"Really? You don't talk about her much anymore. Is everything okay?"

"It's always a challenge for us. We have our history and emotions. We go back and forth between being good and having problems. She'll always be one of my best friends, but it's hard sometimes."

Jas ran her hands down Joe's chest. "Tell me some of your favorite things about her."

"Why?"

"I'm just curious. Be open and honest, like you say you are."

"Okay, she gives incredible, toe-curling blow jobs. I mean, unbelievable."

"I didn't mean sex."

"But what if that's my favorite thing? T is gifted, and she loves sucking dick."

"I know your play. " Jasmine smiled. "You're just saying that to make me feel like I have to step up my game, then you get more head."

"I'm getting plenty, baby."

Jasmine scrunched her nose. "Okay. How about something not sex related? What do you love about her as a person?"

"Oh." Joe thought for a moment. "We'll. I love her hair, her laugh, and how she looks at me. I like that she's graceful and elegant and at the same time can be a clumsy doofus. She's mature and immature. Tina is competent and intelligent but clueless in other ways. She's a contradiction." Joe paused a moment, "For someone so competent and successful, it's amazing how fucked up her life is."

"It sounds like you think about these things a lot."

"Over the years I have. It comes and goes."

"I like that you can tell me these things without trying to pretend you don't care about her. That's honest."

Joe no longer tried to downplay his relationship with Tina, as he did months ago when he learned she was a problem for Jas. As Jas had noted, he didn't speak of her often. When he did, he kinda told the truth. He just stopped short of saying he loved Tina, or that she was doing him when he visited.

Jasmine had one more thought. "I don't want to sound like a child, but didn't you promise me a trip to New York?"

"I did, and I intend on keeping that promise. How about we make that a goal for next year. You don't want to go during winter."

"I do not, but if that's when it happens, I'll deal with it."

*****

On the next Monday morning call, Tina took the conversation in a different direction. After a kurt good morning, and brief small talk, T went for it.

"So, when you bumped into my brother Friday night, I guess he invited you to grab a bite after the show, but you declined. That's weird."

"How so?"

"You skipping a late-night diner hang after a show at Tommy's. It's never happened before."

"I just wasn't up to it."

"Yeah, you had other plans, with a blonde."

"Hello?" Joe tapped his phone receiver. "Is this the Gestapo I'm speaking to?"

"No. April told me you were with a young blonde and she was clearly attached to you."

"Yeah, she was a little handsy that night."

"I'm not dumb, Joe. I know it was Casey."

"What makes you say that?"

"It took me a few days, but I figured it out. Friday morning I asked Casey."

"What did she have to say?"

"She smiled and said she had a great time at the show. Then I asked what she did the rest of the weekend and she clammed up, so I assume you fucked her."

"Did you give her shit for it?"

"No, but she knows I know and she's been walking around with this dumb freshly fucked smile on her face that's really annoying. After what happened last time you were here I thought you might have better judgment than to fuck one of my friends."

"So... you are going to keep throwing that in my face. And now you can add me fucking Casey to my list of henious crimes." Joe paused, "You seem to have forgotten that I exorcized my Catholic guilt years ago."

"I am well fucking aware of your shamelessness. It's not your best trait."

"That's funny. I think shamelessness is one of your best traits... since you've evolved."

"Did you think this through or did you let your dick do the thinking for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"What happens next, Joe? Do you think Casey had her fill last weekend? What happens when you fly out next time? Are you gonna sleep with Casey and then expect me to suck your dick?"

Joe didn't answer.

"That's what I thought. You were thinking with the wrong head."

"I have a question, T. Did you tell Casey that I wanted to go on a date with her?"

"I was just teasing her because I know she has a crush on you."

"And did you tell her that if we hooked up... I'd rock her pussy?"

Tina went quiet, so Joe continued.

"I'm not putting this on Casey. I did what I did, but she asked me to take her to Tommy's. She figured that I wanted to sleep with her, because you put that idea in her head."

"Oh, so now it's my fault that you fucked Casey?"

"No, but you fanned the flames and she made her move."

"Oh please, you've been flirting with her for years, playing your dumb games. She knew you wanted to fuck her long ago."

"You teased me with the idea of setting us up. Do you remember that?"

"I was just teasing you. I wasn't serious."

"But you put that idea in my head, and you gave Casey ideas, and then we acted on them."

"You're a dog, Joe. You were gonna fuck her first chance you got."

"I'm not denying that, but I never would have asked Casey out on a date. That's the truth."

Joe was not lying. As mush as he wanted to sleep with Casey, he never would have asked her on a date with the intention of fucking her. Tina said Joe plays dumb games. She played them too, and sometimes a game doesn't end as we planned.

*****

A week later, Tina was not herself. The call was normal, but Joe sensed something was on her mind but she wasn't saying it. He suspected that he knew what it was, so he asked.

"How are things with you and Casey?"

"We're fine, but it's a little awkward."

"Are you okay, T? Is there a problem?"

"No. I said we're fine. I need some time to sort this out."

"Is there a problem between you and Casey?"

"I told you we're fine but it's a little weird. I'm not saying she's flaunting it, but Casey is proudly strutting around here and I can't help think she's... I don't know, taunting me?"

"I don't think she'd do that," Joe said. "That's out of character. Maybe you're being hyper sensitive."

"I don't think you know her that well. She's made some comments about that weekend that have gotten under my skin."

"Like what?"

"I don't care to discuss it, Joe. Have you spoken to her?"

"No. I kinda lost her phone number, and I didn't want to call her there."

Tina laughed, "Did you really?"

"I did. And I feel like shit about it."

"Well, I'm not giving it to you."

"Then I'm calling her there, on your time. How bad is it, T?"

"It's bad enough that Jenna senses something is up. Casey and I aren't the same, but we'll be okay. I need some time, Joe."

"I'm sorry, T. This was probably a mistake. You're right. We didn't think this through."

"Joe, let's not discuss it now. Just give me some time to work through these... feelings."

"What feelings?"

"The feeling that I fucked up." Tina said sharply, "I don't care to talk about it, not yet."

Joe dropped the subject even as he sensed all was not well at the Amethyst Gallery. The following morning he called and got Casey on the line.

"She probably knows we're talking," Casey said, "she now has caller ID at her desk."

"Good to know. Hey, are you okay? She's seems to be having a hard time."

"I'm fine and she's definitely not happy with me. Now I'm trying to lay low. We'll be okay."

"I lost your home phone number. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. If I need to talk I have your number." Casey then whispered, "She's coming this way. Listen, Joe, no matter what happens, I'll never regret it. I have to hang up now."

Tina did not call on the following Monday, and Joe didn't call her. Tina said she needed time to work out her feelings. He decided to give her space to figure it out. He wasn't going to press the issue.

The truth was, Joe found himself thinking about Casey a lot, and he felt awful that she and Tina were having problems. He was thinking of Casey far more than Tina. Joe didn't know what to do about that. He hoped time would work things out in his head... as well as Tina's.

When Tina skipped another weekly phone call. Joe sent her a check-in email. She replied in short - 'I'm very busy, sorry. Will catch up later.'

-- Westwood Ho ---

Joe heard a noise downstairs. It sounded like his studio door opening and closing. He looked at the clock, it was 5:05 AM. He got up and went to the back door and looked out to his lot. He flipped his parking lot floodlight on. It had been on a motion detector, but his neighbors complained it was too bright and tripped on too often. He walked out onto his second-floor landing and looked down.

He reached inside and turned off the flood. Light shined out of the tiny window of the studio door. Joe breathed a sigh of relief, returned for his keys, and walked downstairs. He unlocked the back door and walked in.