All Comments on 'Purgatory'

Love the story. I think it is great. AAAAAA++++++

Wow, a story where literally the entire cast is retarded! Quite an achievement.

Fuck you and this shit stain of a story.

You had to write the wife as if she was a fucking imbecile just to make it work. And the bullshit about “always being erratic but the last episode was when she was 14….10 years earlier? And no one knew about it?

And it made ZERO fucking sense why she would suddenly fall for whatever the fuck his name is AND get off on watching her husband get beat up or why she thought that everything would work out fine. And then the explanation that she knew hubby could fuck up Jamal?

Did you even read this garbage after you finished writing?

Try it. And then you’ll learn how fucking painful reading bullshit really is.

Great story! I couldn’t put it down…. I was late for my midnight shift. Thank-you for your writing talent!

A weird one. Characters commit typical cuck story clichés, but then there's an effort made to justify their actions and try make them more than cardboard characters. Didn't really buy it, though. Kim is too flaky to bother listening to, and Jamal is a dubious sidenote. The dude (a black man, no less) is arrested for assault of a person whose wife he's also boning, but apparently his career just ticks on with no repercussions from this PR disaster. Kurt Zouma is being blackballed right now for kicking a cat on video. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far, unless it's a deliberately crazy story.

thank you for staying away from racial stereotypes.

A little over written. Could have ended with the Jamal Bout. Every woman character is shown to be a slut. Basic plot was nice.

Meh, the kid plotline was just a sorry excuse so Kim can go scott free, bad move.

Definitely one of your best.

The reconciliation with his ex felt a bit too easy, but otherwise I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Never read about a smart one in this section. Seems they are all just a walking dick with no redeeming qualities whatsoever! Kinda like you see and read about everyday and everywhere.

Too many monkeys jumping on the bed!!!!

This is by far, imho, the best quality writing @demander has posted here on Literotica. The arc of the story was well paced and balanced. I am no expert in the pugulistic arts, but the fight descriptions were interesting and entertaining. My only criticism is the inflammatory introduction of the race card into the storyline was never explored in any depth or with any nuance and thus came across as crassly exploitative. Nonetheless, I truly enjoyed the read and appreciate that the author shares his talent here.

Good story, well told and thoroughly enjoyed, Thank You 5*****

It was ok.

Brian was a good guy. I think no man who gets kicked in the ass by the ex-wife's lover would be doing all those nice things as Brian did to Kim regardless that they had a child together. But I really don't think it is realistic even though Brian got some revenge with Jamal but not with Kim. Kim got away very very easily. And it didn't sit well with me.

Great story

An amazing guy- from chump to champ in just a few weeks. He should have gone into football- he'd be the next Tom Brady in a month of practice. Or maybe acting- he'd be a shoo-in for the Oscar after one film. How about science- he could cure cancer, maybe even Covid.

Can you say - over-the-top???

Fanciful, but Demander’s best. Five stars ⭐️ for this one.

Could be a decent story with a bit more editing. The story was just a bit all over the place IMO.

Terrible

That was very uneven. The MC was too robotic. Jen was not real. Kim WAS a slut….and making her Mom one and her Dad a cuck was….creepy.

.

The plot was like a collection of little skits that were only loosely stitched together. The MC becoming a top boxer was ludicrous. Kim’s excuses for her behavior never made sense. Brian bringing her to work for him was illogical. And in the end…Manny fucking Kim’s Mom….ewww.

.

A story that tried hard but just never came together. In the end…the reader never really cares about the participants.

.

3 ***

I appreciated the twists in this one. Never been a boxing fan, but liked the story anyway- especially Jen’s character.

This was very disappointing for two main reasons:

-

1) Jamal committed an assault with a deadly weapon by being a pro boxer attacking an untrained amateur. He should've done hard time for that felony. Proper revenge for the unprovoked beatdown and humiliation would've been to take that final punch and decapitate the asshole. Kim being forced to watch helplessly as her lover was beaten to death in front of her eyes would've been a nice start to her well-deserved payback.

2) Kim was a cruel psychopath and suffered no consequences for her appalling behaviour. Her getting a happy ending with Harve just added insult to injury.

-

A better ending would've been Jen taunting Kim into a fight, then giving her the same brutal beating that she had Jamal inflict on her husband. That would've sent Kim off the deep end and she should've spent the rest of her life in a nuthouse. Then Brian gets full custody of his son, and prevents all contact with Kim's parents for the various ways they screwed him over.

way too far over the top. Her parents are so accepting of her bringing her lover home prior to divorce? She meets Jamal at a dance and immediately begins the affair and then for no reason at all brings him home to rub it in his face. Says the fight was because she was angry at him being too nice and also felt he would hurt jamal? Jamal is a rated boxer and bigger and stringer so that made no sense. Forget about the commando camp crap and jump to the end where he gets her a job and has some guy marry the sicko? She says Jamal was not long term, neither was her first marriage, so why would anyone marry her?

The description of Jamaal as not being a thug was inconsistent with the beating he gave Brian and with the reason for it as related by Kim. Kim's reasons for getting Jamaal to beat Brian up didn't make sense. Brian being friendly with Kim later in the story was annoying.

I didn't care much for Eileen and John's relationship, but that's just my taste. Much of the story was good.

Would have been better if more pain to jamal and especially kim. Story was predictable, way more about this guy and boxing than loving wives. Lots of boxing deal even though "its not a boxing story'. Then adding that kind father was a willing cuckold while his wife was fucking manny, just disgusting. I gave it a 1 because I couldn't do a 0.

See, the thing is, I really REALLY like it when things go well for the MMC. So this story is just what the doctor ordered. The fight motif reminded me of his earlier "Losing The Fight," though I think this one is more evolved. Demander must either have some background in this, or be a damned good researcher. Anyway, this is one of his best, and he's been knocking a lot of balls out of the park lately.

Let me know when M, Q and James Bond get here. No one on the planet would have anything to do with that bitch

Great story - if you like boxing but as a LW story it is weaker than a politician's excuses. Also, if I have this right, Jamal is black, Brian is white yet it somehow isn't immediately obvious which of the two men is Johnny's biological father? Not up to Demanders usual standard, I'm afraid. 2 stars.

D, why D.

The next day Jen and I looked into a couple of things.

Kim and I went about our business. She kept her cell nearby, in case they called.

Did we have a brain fart, waiting for Jen and Brian to go about their business?

We lived in a house that had belonged to my paternal grandmother, and had come directly to me when she died six years before.

Now I was a land owner.

Did he not consider himself a land owner with the house he inherited? Did he ever sell it or continue to rent it?

Good writing but I don’t care for boxing, even dumber than pro football. Any sport the causes a majority of players to get early dementia is stupid. Age related dementia is bad enough, why get it earlier?

Sorry, you loose me with Kim’s mom sleeping with Manny, 3 stars

Poor Jamal, he is being fucked to death, his name has been in every black guy story for a long time. Where are Dante, and Tre, and Marcus when you need them? When are you fucking idiots going to realize we black men have more than a handful of cliche driven names? And why is every black guy made to look and sound like a mindless thug? Garbage, 1/5

5 Stars

Loved it.

-26thNC Approved

I find your stories either really good or just plain bad. This is a bad one.

You lost me when it turns out that Jen is just another slut. Too many stereotypes stacked on cliches. 1*

This was really all over the place, and none of the characters was particularly well-developed or believable, including the world championship bad-ass accountant and computer supplier ex-husband protagonist. Among many other things, let's see: there are police involved, arrests made (nothing about any convictions in the story, despite a long passage of time), the protagonist goes in and boxes with a fake name in a glorious fight that gets constantly replayed on ESPN, including calling his opponent's significant other a bitch on TV and no one figures out this was the ex-husband? C'mon!

This. Was. Bad. One star, but only because negative scores aren't allowed.

So a cuckold who did ok. Hes still a wimp.

The only thing I didn't understand is what purgatory is and for whom?

Well, that was kind of weird. The mysterious Farm happens to be nearby. After he gets beat up, everything goes right for him: gets a new (and quite literally unbelievable) woman, overnight develops amazing fighting skills, sells one successful business and starts another. The stories I enjoy most here or more realistic. This was just a fantasy.

Way too many words that had little to do with 'erotica'

WTF?

Nice job Demander! Although some of th plot twists are strange at times, there's sone serious development in plot and characters. You're definitely heading in the right direction.

Keep it up people will be comparing you to the "Tramp" soon :)

Boxing matches don’t go 15 rounds anymore, they only go 12 rounds. They haven’t since the 80s. Mike Tyson fought I. The last one in 1987, and he stopped the fight in the 7th round. The reason being as you might have expected, being that those last 3 rounds cause the most brain damage do to the fighters being tired and more vulnerable. The impetus for the change was a fight in 1982 were a fighter collapsed and later died.

Another gem.

Good story. Not great.

Missing something especially in the back story of the MC.

The kids felt like more of an afterthought.

Thx

I enjoyed it, good story. The only downside was Eileen and John, a closet cuck story. Manny was wrong, dead wrong. You never sleep with married women knowingly.

That side tale cost you a point, you never needed it in your story to try and explain Kim’s behaviour.

Scores 4/5.

So Jamal beats the shit out of Brian and he isn't a thug. Delusional idea.

Garbage, tired of the cliche'd black men being thugs and please for the love of god, they have more names than the ones EVERY single writer on this site uses. Minus score if I could.

this guy is dangerous. but he has a head on his shoulders, to think through anything that causes him anguish. definitely 5 STARS.

I think you started balancing too many plot balls toward the end but it was a very engrossing story. 5*

Interesting opening story but it got boring around the middle. Still good. I hate to say it but Kim looks like she should have chosen a different profession, a professional profession that included as many men as she was interested knowing.

I wonder if Kim's troubles can be traced back to a father who likes to watch her mother screwing around with whoever gets her pot steaming?

Very believable sorry.

The one flaw in the story is Jamal gets away unscathed after beating up Brian. It wasn't just assault, a pro boxers hands are considered a deadly weapon. DA might have plea bargained it but given it was not weld defense he would have served time.

If shit truly is dumb, then this mess made it feel like Albert fucking Einstein.

I find most of what you write to be more akin to a literary herpes sore than something as well written and in depth (and not racist) as "Fun with Dick and Jane" is.

So the big question is do you jack off to that Trump2020 flag on the ceiling over your bed?

I was surprised that I actually liked a story about three whoring sluts.

Professional boxers are licensed by the state’s boxing authority. Their hands are considered lethal weapons. Any professional boxer who attacks a non-boxer outside the ring person will almost certainly be banned in every state.

"Jamal": automatic 2-point bump! 6/5!!!

Writing got better later in the story.

Glad his second marriage to a slut worked out better than the first obvious slut he married.

Good read thanks. I get the fantasy part.

Good story, well written and interesting. I prefer this course of action to the weeping and crying or forgiving the slut!

Very good story. Well written and not predictable.

Let's see...idiotic, stereotypical lw " nigger" character and "Xena Warrior Princess" character. Ridiculous understanding of the fight business. Yep. An easy 11111111111

This was a good story until you added the Eileen & Mandy, it was not needed, it only put subterfuge and distract from the story line. Manny's camp was teaching MMA/Combat but this was about traditional boxing. I was surprised Brain could hold back a kick or elbow strike. The story seemed to wonder unsure of where it was going.

/

3.3*, Hooyah...

great story.

i like it very much. moral of the story being concentration on future instead of dealing with cheaters.

written very nicely.

An excellent tale of revenge and love. Thank you for your time and talent. DMW

4. Not the biggest fan of sports stuff but kept it interesting enough. Liked the revenge. Not sure about the reconciliation at all with the ex-wife, the cuckold parents felt unnecessary, or trying to paint a man who was willing to hospitalize, and abuse another man whose wife he was sleeping with was definitely asking a lot of the reader but overall enjoyable.

Way too many boxing details. 1 out of 5 stars.

@iameasel

...So the big question is do you jack off to that Trump2020 flag on the ceiling over your bed? - The real question is do you fuck your skanky hollow cave of a pussy with the flagpole from said flag?

This bored me to tears. This felt like a movie villain explaining his overly complicated plan to take over the world while the poor hero is strapped down to a table, facing death and actually wishing for it because the villain WON'T SHUT UP.

Three stars. Started fast and went straight down unlikely roads.

All Brian knows are sluts! Not a monogamous women in this story. What revenge? They all lived happily ever after.

Bullshit no cops! You get him arrested then pay someone in his prison to make Jamal their bitch! Jamal is not as fit as most cons are!

Well there it is straight from the slut’s mouth, Kim states “I hated you because you were to good to me”! So guys always remember to treat your women like shit so they don’t hate you, lol!

A white pussy defeated a black man? Never in my life! In fact, Jamal beat Brian in the ring too, and then fucked both Kim and Jen. That's how good it should be for any black man! And bear this in mind, you white weakling writers. Blacks should always fuck whites, otherwise you're a fucking racist. .

Too much detail without regard to the details. Johnny age and others don't match. Other details overdone etc

No

Wonderfully complex characters. Work on the time line for things. The baby at 11 months acts like a 2 or 3 year old. You do not finish an accounting degree in two years. It is not about smarts; it is about class time. The time compression is distracting and unnecessary.

5 stars for pretty good story. -1 star for the *(&( getting no negative consequences whatsoever.

Oh boy.....

Real mess of a story. Lots of details didn’t line up, and then huge things like Janal’s arrest and criminal charges were just dropped.

1 star for not destroying the cheating slut! Makes him a wimpy cuck even though the author tried to cover it up with the fighting.

More stupid IR nonsense written by someone who is projecting his own insecurities.

Stupid doesn't describe this, the ultimate betrayal and disrespect shown, and yet you throw in the bullshit psychobabble about why she's a cheap slut, finally letting her off the hook for her sins. Just moronic....

for a RAAC, this wasn't good. :0/

Totally unrealistic.

5 Stars...outstanding story. plot line, dialogue, and action. I was immersed up front with the beatdown expecting a standard Rocky/BTB.... and you rose above both of the motifs to craft a unique and rather satisfying tale of a quiet man right out of the John Wayne movie. Simply excellent and my congratulations to a new author that has immediately made my following list.... Can't wait to read the rest of your stuff!!4

Up until page 4 I was enjoying the story. Then the wheels came off. Brian does a beat down on Jamal, gets his revenge, has a new and better love life and his business is prospering. End of story? No, for some unknown reason the author decides to take us down the "yellow brick road" into fantasy land.

The kid is Brian's not Jamal's. Brian decides to fight a contender and wins. Then he fights again and becomes a boxing champion. Meanwhile we learn that Kim's parents have an open marriage and her father enjoys watching her mother fuck other guys. Ultimately, they visit Brian resort frequently and Kim's mother shacks up with Brian's new wife's father whenever they visit.

Of course we have to have the classic IR trope with Kim's comment that Jamal's attraction wasn't just his looks i.e. he was hung as all black guys are. But we had to be PC about blacks, he did a beatdown on Brian because some white guys messed with him when he was a kid. He's really a nice guy who just happens to seduce married white women, beats up their husbands, tries to knock up his married girl friend, and ultimately abandons her after she sticks with him while he rehabs from the punishment he received from Brian.

Finally, we are told by Kim to her now ex-husband that Jamal was "never going to be a permanent thing". Her kid could have been his but she had no intention of staying with him long term. This woman is truly a piece of work.

Well there wasn't any BDSM in the story. That must have been an oversight by the author.

All in all, the story was fast out of the blocks but ran out of steam in the backstretch and didn't finish the race.

BRIAN THE WIMP CUCK

1 star for the cuckold and the whore!

NOT WORTH READING

He STARTED on the Road to MMA then went to THE DARK SIDE - Pugilism. AAARGH. This Story changed paths so many times I dizzy.

Meandering. ⭐⭐

A little bit too lengthy but liked the story

Good story but I ;liked the authors 'Man Overboard' better. Would have like a little more justice for the ex.

One hell of a story. Yes, a stretch from realistic, but very enjoyable. I didn’t understand how Kim could think that Brian’s rage, without training, could endanger Jamaal in the backyard beating scene. That part doesn’t seem to fit.

You can bet, then e training for those fights was way more intense than what our author said but it has a great story line. Well written. Keep writing.

XYZ

Shouldn’t have pulled the last punch Jamal is like blm blaming everyone else for their failures I grew up poor and don’t blame anyone for anything nope should’ve made sure he knew who he was then killed him in the ring and spit on the cunt in ur way out and used the assault and fraud to get full custody of the child locked her parents out as well since they were complicit enough of this bleeding heart shit would say do same shit if it was a women and last Jamal is a thug beats up someone because he looks like someone he doesn’t like sound’s racist as well fucks like them should be destroyed without mercy because if u have any they will use it against u look at the blm and democrats today and all blame no accountability

Began building a beastman in a jungle and ended up a soap opera with wonderful neutered people all round. I think they were all secretly cuckolds even the women.

Interesting story, really enjoyed it. Thanks for your writing.

Just a story for me, nothing special.