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Click hereI try to say something. My mind however is not quite ready for such strenuous activity and all that comes out is some incoherent mumbles.
"Are you back with us?" a voice whispers from behind me and as much as I would like to stay in my current position the voice pushes another desire to the forefront of my mind.
I turn my body around, regretfully removing her hands from both my breast and my lower parts. When I am turned around, I move my arms around her and gently moves my face towards her, my lips searching for her mouth.
I find it, or probably more accurately, she moves to find my mouth and we gently kiss while holding each other close.
I don't notice when it happens, but at some point my eyes fall shut and my mind drifts away into sleep.
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This was originally going to be my second story. I started writing it before the one that ended up becoming my second one, but ended up pausing it and writing the other one. The reason I took a break from this one was because having multiple characters brings my least favorite part of writing with it, conversation. As you have probably noticed reading this, the conversation in it is pretty limited. That is largely due to the fact that I have always found writing conversation to be the hardest part of writing. So if you have any critique or suggestions for improving that part of my writing, please speak up. Or if you have any other suggestions or advise.
I don't really know what to write for my next story. Up until now I have had the next story more or less ready to commit to paper before publishing the last one, but this time I am pretty much a blank slate, so any suggestions are more than welcome. It doesn't have to be much, just a genre or topic is a great help. I am, of course, not guaranteeing anything. For me to be able to write about something the subject has to "speak to" me, if you know what I mean, but please, if you have a suggestion feel free to make it. Worst thing that can happen is that I don't use it and who knows, maybe I do.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 1 year agoIt is fiction but I hope this does not inspire someone to try this with their friend.
Only_connectover 2 years agoReally good story. I love lots of good, natural dialogue but this story totally works without that. Nice writing 👍👍👍
Theserialwaffleover 3 years agoIt’s a great story. This one doesn’t need much dialogue. It is ok how you made it. And maybe she wasn’t so drunk after all... but dialogues are important in context and in a different episode with a developing story other than instantly beading a roommate, you have to improve, sure. Think about movies with great lines.
Thank you and stay safe
Lovecraft_Loreover 3 years agoThere is a whole series of how to guides in the writer's help section. They have some good ones on the topic of how to write dialogue.
A story of two female high school senior wrestlers have a lesbian experience during their match would be interesting and in the theme with this story.
Anonymousover 3 years agoThe relationship dynamic was very enticing. Immediately grabbed me, and i especially like how you kept surprising us in the beginning. Once we got to the sex, we lost the relationship dynamic in exchange for the details of the encounter. I wanted to stay in touch with the shock and surprise of a woman who is finally bedding her secret crush.
Anonymousover 3 years agoI have a suggestion. Since it's Halloween when I'm posting this, can you try to do something about vampires or werewolves? Thank you!
Anonymousover 3 years agoHi. FWIW, I think there's three things to focus on when writing dialogue : first, is it clear who is speaking? Second, is what they're saying in character? And, third, is it moving the story forward? (Dialogue doesn't have to focus on the plot, because it can instead give the reader some insight into the characters.)
An example of an author who writes a lot of dialogue is Jane Austen. If you turn your writer's eye to some of her work, it might give you some tips about controlling your own.
Anonymousover 3 years agoHey. So i dont think being drunk has any control over dominance. Usually when your drunk your typically the submissive one being used.
