QT Q 03

QT Q 03

"Hmmm, I don't know, Cat Cath. I mean, I wouldn't mind attending the car show in Hillsdale and all, but now that Fred is my ex and because my ex is one of the top motorheads, well, that would put me and my ex in close proximity and that might be a little too uncomfortable for both me and my ex and all, so."

"Well QT Q, that's a new record for how many times you can boast that you have an "ex" and all, so I'll get you a blue ribbon from the dollar store a little later. Anyways, I have your back for avoiding your ex a little and on how to address this "daily detransition" face shaving issue you have and all. I mean, it's a "boom" for you, I think."

Well, I didn't mention my ex, Freddy all that much anyways and all, so.

"It won't work, Cat Cath. I can only be presentable for up to six hours before I have shave and redo everything. I mean, it's a CD curse and not a "boom" and all, so."

"Now hold up and hear me out with my long story. Well, it's a short story. Anyways, just rent a hotel room so you can pop in and out of it you need to and boom, right? (Not to mention that I will a place to snatch a quick nap too)."

"Well, wait, um, yeah, that might be a "boom" and all, Cat Cath?"

"So, we're boom then, right, QT Q?"

"I guess we're boom then, Cat Cath. And how many times are people supposed to "boom" back and forth and all anyways, Cat Cath?"

"Hell, I don't know QT Q. I mean, you boom and then I boom back and then it's the next day and all, so."

Um, damn, she was right about all that, so.

"Well, I don't have a "Grass, Gas or Ass" car show partner and all anyways, so."

"Well, give me a minute and all, will you? I mean, it seemed best to get the boom-booms out of the way and all first, so. Anyways QT Q, I'm not slacking or anything, but Franny the Rebound Bartender thinks she may have a car show "Ride or Die" partner for you and all, so."

"Ugh, please don't it let be her brother or anything!"

"No, no, um, a guy named Kurt and he spied you at the club last weekend and all, so."

"LOL, oops, that guy Kurt spied me alright! He was watching the airplanes too (and feeling up my strawberry short cakes). (Like a lot!) (Even though I was busy)."

"Alright, um, yes, no, maybe? I mean, Franny seemed OK with him and all and she wants to tell him something one way or the other and all, so?"

"Mm, alright, but you still have to love me forever, Cat Cath! And back me up if things go south."

See? My life is great! I mean, Cat Cath is a very sensitive and personal person, who kisses like a champ! I mean, my life is the best weird circle ever!

And I mean, if I had to give Franny the Rebound Bartender an answer on riding and dying with Kurt, then it only seemed fair that she personally gave me the details on this Kurt guy who took liberties with my short cakes as I was "talking" to Luke outside of the club in the smoking area, in person.

"Well, fem boy stud, I didn't expect all that. I mean, I wasn't sure how you would use the pantyhose that you insisted on me wearing, but wow, when you just jumped all aboard on my perfectly shaped thighs and started to hump your little fem boy cock all over them, well, wow, I guess I learned a little something today (like how you can afford to make my car payments from cheap pantyhose and two minutes of my time)."

"I'm not a freak, Franny the Rebound Bartender, I just like different things and all, so."

"No, no baby, I didn't say I didn't like it and all, it was just my first time like that (smooch, kiss, tongue, smooch) and all. I mean, I'm not approving anything, but wow, you could have poked a hole in these (ruined) pantyhose and taken me and all! I mean, those whimpers (tee, he) were real, QT Q."

"Well, that's because I'm a total sex machine now and all, so."

"(Oops, that's taking things a little too far) (And all). Get your eyeliner pencil sweetie and I'll touch you up and all, alright? (And praise the heavens for you wearing a condom too. I mean, LOL, I'm clean enough to go out to lunch). (Whimper, whimper)."

See? The best life of all of Middleton (and I let everyone know it on my Chang page).

"Sit still so I don't poke your eyes out with this eyeliner pencil, but listen QT Q, I don't think you need to wear three pairs of undies for Kurt. He likes you for what you are and all, so."

"Well, I just try to be respectful to those who get freaked out from a bulge in my front and a lump on my neck and all, so."

"(OMG, you don't even need two pairs of undies then!) Well, you be you, QT Q, but I think you liked the way he checked the freshness of your strawberry short cakes and all, so thin to win, sweetie (smack!). Bye now and have a little fun with things. Oh, and you know the club is just a few blocks off the main strip, so he'll probably suggest a night cap and all, so remember that when you're packing your backpack (smooch) and all, so."

See? I own everything and I own life! And I had to be told to pack something better to wear at the club this time, which was cool and all.

"Oops, hon, before I leave (and pawn this watch), for the next time (when I need a car payment), well, I know it seemed like I was totally rocking back with you (which I was, damn it), but I was trying to let you know that I was getting a leg cramp, so switch off with my thighs, my freaky little thigh humping lover (who, OMG could have poked that hole and taken me, damn it), so (oh, I wish I could publicly date a rich ass CD)."

I mean, I could understand the leg cramp thing and all with the way I was going crazy and all, so.

And then I guess that's Kurt arriving to pick me and all, so.

"Well QT Q, I wasn't expecting an itinerary for a car show cruise, but let's hear it."

"Kurt, I'm sorry, but I have issues with a few things. So, I'll be by your side between 11am and 6pm and then I need to disappear into the hotel for a little while. But then I'm all yours from 7pm to 10pm when the car show cruise closes and we can have a night cap at the club after that (as long as they keep the lights low like they do or give time to shave again), so?"

"Wait, you have a hotel room? Where we can do stuff instead of just cruising up and down the strip? Stuff like not cruising up and down the strip? For several hours?"

"Um, oops, um, well."

OK, never let a car guy who has attended plenty of car shows that you have a hotel reserved, I guess.

"What the hell do you mean the hotel room has an itinerary too with that babe with all the hips that dragged you out of the club last weekend? And why can't I do you both? Is that on the itinerary? And unbutton your shorts for me, QT Q."

"Oh, um, Kurt, um, wow, I wasn't expecting all that and all, but Cat Cath probably wouldn't go for all that and all, so."

"What, are you saying that you never seen a Girl-Tranny-Guy thing on your freaky Chang website? I mean, with the Girl and the Tranny on their hands and knees on the bed and the very handsome and fit guy standing behind them and praying to not have a heart attack before he finishes doing the both of them? And by the way, QT Q, you and the babe with hips are the two that I'm speaking of."

"Well, of course there are videos like that on Chang, but this is real life, Kurt."

"Oh, I have enough "real life" for the both of you, like twice each. Like once during the mid-afternoon shift and then again right after the dinner shift and all, so?"

"Well Kurt, I can't zip my shorts down any further and I can't stop you from talking to Cat Cath about all that, but I'm sexually active for like three weeks and I really don't know jack about anything and all, so."

"I like your sad and confused puppy dog eyes, QT Q."

"Well still Kurt, I promise you that I will ask it all wrong and screw everything up and all and there's a good chance that everything goes south and then nobody is happy and all, so."

I mean, wow, right? Two targets and one arrow? Ooh and a shared arrow at that, so I wasn't sure how cool or safe that was and I'm sure that Cat Cath wouldn't be very comfortable with it either.

"Hmmm, wow, um, I don't think so, QT Q, but here are his car keys, so go take a few laps up and down the strip and then take a few more trips up and down the strip and then fill his sports car with gas and then text me before you get into the hotel elevator and all, so? I mean, I mean safety first (I mean me first) and all, right QT Q?"

Well, at least she didn't fall for that two-targets and one arrow trick, right? I mean, she was probably up in the hotel room scolding him for even suggesting such a thing, right? I mean with the way that she was frowning at me as I re-shaved and reapplied my facial makeup and all and with the way she had her arms crossed and was tapping her toe like she was in a hurry to scold him, right? Because I was taking so long to finish up and all, right?

"Um, you do know that's an ordinary key ring of keys for a handful of random padlocks and that none of them are going to start this fine ass sports car, right cutie?"

"Well, it's QT Q and if you're going to be a jerk about things and make me tell you the entire story of how it all started, then fine. It all started over two years ago when I discovered that I could buy anything that I wanted online and that led me to attending a costume party dressed as Lara Croft and then my friend Josh "accidently" felt me up about nine times and then Josh wanted to Lara my Croft and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and then I wore a bikini in my backyard later that summer and almost got away with it, but my neighbor didn't freak out and actually wanted to Lara my Croft and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and then last summer I found myself sharing a pool changing shed with my friend, Fred and then we agreed to make each other naked from our swim suits and then we got scared and ran away and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and then I accepted a dare from my friend Sid and I came out in full dress as QT Q and then he popped a boner for me and then blah, blah, blah and then my old fag friend Fred wanted to reconnect and we did just that and we had a crazy strawberry short cake dessert date and then blah, blah, blah and then I squirted some whip cream into Cat Cath's mouth while people were taking videos and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and then I had a few sexual experiences and that's behind me now and I was alright with that and then blah, blah, blah, and then Fred dumped me because I have to shave twice a day and then Sid secretly snuck over to my house for revenge sex because I beat his dare and then blah, blah, blah and then I went on the rebound and went to club to watch the airplanes land and use the mouth wash basin and I promise that I'm not a freak just because I like to hump a woman's sexy thighs and then blah, blah, blah, blah and then this guy Kurt captured me with rope earlier this morning and took me to my hotel room for sex and then my friend Cat Cath found all this out and that's when she traded me these random padlock keys for my box of condoms and she's still up in the hotel room scolding Kurt for trying to do us both at the same like those silly photo ops on Chang and my friend Cat Cath is still scolding Kurt up in the hotel room and now I find myself needing a ride back to Middleton or to the club over there and then that's when you came along, so."

"Um, so, it's QTQ or Cutie Q?"

"QT Q. It's plain as day."

"So, Cutie Q then, right?"

Guys! They can hear straight. I mean, why is that I have explain over and over that it's QT Q, which sounds nothing like QTQ or Cutie Q, right?

"Well, stranger, I'm in distress and need a ride, so who are you? And do carry rope in your trunk?"

"Well, I'm Troy and I've now heard all the words in the world, I think, my cousin Franny works at the club, so if you want (to keep your shorts zipped down), I'll take you the few blocks over then to the club and all, so?"

"Well, Troy, just as long as your cousin isn't Franny the Rebound Bartender because well, never mind because why (but I promise, I'm not a freak for enjoying her soft thighs with all that I bring to the freak show of thigh humping)."

"Well, that is my cousin Franny and I promise you that she won't blink an eye if you and I watch a few airplanes land and all, so. (LOL, like you have something to bring to literally any freak show party)."

You know, I really don't know how some people respond so quickly to texts. I mean, just as I thought my text would reach Franny's phone, it was boom, "It's cool, come see me and bring my cousin with you" in return. Like with a lightning bolt response time.

"So, what did my cousin Franny say, QT Q?"

"Well, she wants us to visit her at the club, but she said that you should make me a funky sports bra over my car show shirt with rope and all, but you already promised me that you don't carry rope and duct tape in the trunk of your car and all, so."

I mean, even with Troy being Franny the Rebound Bartender's cousin and all, we had just met and all, so it wasn't the best idea for me to jump into his car, right? I mean, especially when he popped the trunk of his car and the duffle bag was clearly marked "kidnapping kit" and all, so accepting a ride with him to the club probably wasn't the best of ideas and all, so.

"QT Q! Cousin Troy! Come take a seat at my bar guys! Well, guy and girly guy. So, wow, that's quite the fancy and funky sports bra made from rope QT Q and the duct tape X pasties make for nice accents too! Sit and I'll get QT Q and I some Champagne and I'll draft you a cold one cousin Troy, who probably needs to use the restroom after listening to QT Q's life story of how it all began, LOL. I mean, blah, blah, blah, right?"

"Ah, yeah, wow right, cousin Franny. Anyways, I shall return."

Well, my story wasn't all that long and boring and all that blah, blah, blah, but what was more important was that Franny the Rebound Bartender was now wearing a new diamond ring on her perfectly sized and shaped "I'm in a committed relationship" finger.

"Well, are we going to talk about the airplane landing spotlight that's on your finger, Franny?"

"Shush and lip lock me, QT Q. You know I snatched your watch and you know I pawned it, but what you don't know is that traded it for this "I'm your thigh wife now" ring, so lip lock me again and hush."

"Wow, and by the way, is a "thigh wife" a thing? And I'm only asking for clarification purposes because I'm all in."

"Well, it's our thing now and you'll never go without (as long as my car payments are made). (And by the way, I upgraded my car today). I mean, even a 'thigh wife" gets to have her own life and all seeing I've seen your dick and all, but I'm committed, QT Q."

"Well, I'm still all in because apparently, I am a freak like that, but now I need time to change and update my long and boring "how it all started" story and all, so."

"Cool with me and it's cool with that you're watching the airplanes land tonight with Troy, but let's just call him Troy from now and not my fem boy kidnapping cousin and all, alright?"

"Well, once he started to rope me up and after he was able to convince the authorities that we were just role playing and all, so."

"Hmmm and by the way QT Q, well, Cat Cath is out now, right? I mean, you were way too much for anyways, right QT Q?"

"Well, I told you before that I'm all that and a bag of oranges and all Franny, so."

"Lip lock me one last time and seal the deal, QT Q."

I mean, well, I don't have to mean anything because I have the best of this world and the best of that world and I'm a fem boy man of the world (or at least of Middleton and Hillsdale).

"Grab your champagne glass and let's go, QT Q. I hear airplanes overhead and all."

"Lead the way, Troy."

I mean, the club just doesn't anyone walk out of the side door with a glass in their hand and all, so.

End QT Q 03