All Comments on 'Quaranteam - 808 State Ch. 05-06'

👍 Great, keep this going. Stay safe.

Good, but short episode. Mal has some good points regarding wildlife, looting etc. that hasn't really been covered in other QTU stories. I do wish you'd have more story for the word count. Iirc I voted for a glossary at the end of the episode. Yet, looking at this one, the glossary is about half the word count, especially if you include the foreword. At 8.2K words that's way to big for the episode. Having a separate glossary list looks like the way forward at this point. I'm assuming you don't want to end up with a "Dragon Ball Z" style story where half the word count is filler.

Thank you for sharing your talents with us. Take your time and savor the process as we love the results. Ignore the whining of those who need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Please, make the submissions longer, or better yet, finish your story and post the entire tale all at once. BurntRedstone, among the finest writers on this site, sometimes drops complete stories. (Thank you, love you for it, too!) 💋 🙏👏

Love the story, and your unique take on the original situation. You have certainly raised some ideas that no-one else has done, within the story premise. The DuoHalo arc has become my favourite story group, because of the varied and multiferous situations and characters.

I agree with Kahunabob about the glossary, although I was one of the ones advocating you keep it at the end of each chapter. I was very excited to see a 3-pager - most of you DH writers seem to keep it to 2 - but then to find that some of Pg2 and all of Pg3 is glossary ... disappointing, my man - very disappointing. Also, the context tends to make the meanings more of less clear anyway.

I love the story, and so want what we all do - MOAR! ;)

Thank-you for writing - I do very much enjoy it.

"YEAH" no spread sheets..., therefore no end of chapter tests. just had to add this when I saw the comment.

Agreed with the above. In general, most of the Hawai'ian makes sense in context so the glossaries are really superfluous. If lit allow html submission you could embed popups that won't contribute to the word count. I think a separate glossary is the best bet which a reader can open in a separate tab. I have seen embedded urls in some stories so it can be done. A url to the glossary at the start of the story ( that opens in a new window) would facilitate this.

Try asking lit for advice, you are not the only author to have similar problems.

24 years of USAF and then 20 Years in Law Enforcement working in a Jail "Code Switching" became a way of life and an art form. Yet this is the first time i have seen the name and realized it is what I was doing all those years. Great story line and I am looking forward to its development and expansion. 5 Stars.

If you've ever worked phones dealing with a largely elderiy (or their carers) call in population to order needed subsidised Medical supplies, you've probably done some moderate code switching in your vocal persona as well. Rapidly picking up clues, plus account notes, as to how to talk to THIS particular person who may just want some human interaction... Anyway that aside, great continuation. I'm curious what's up with the wife after 8 months of minimal physical contact...

Great! You are doing really well. I like your MC and the others also. I think your attention to the culture is a laudable venture. It’s also a great story!

I really like what you have written and I am very interested in the stories that you will write.

Thank you.

A good addition to the Quaranteam world. Lots of 'aroha' from Aotearoa for the 'Te Reo'.

Mixed feelings on the glossary. I did vote for end of story, but as some have already mentioned, in this submission at least it's almost 50/50 between story and glossary. Especially since many of the words can be contextually determined. That being said, I do like the depth of the definition and etymology of the pidgen terms. So please don't do a seperate glossary as most times I wouldn't bother and then I'd miss out on things like nose butter.

IIRC, chapter 8 will finally have some sex (we are on literotica after all) so hopefully your next story will have some more length in regards to the actual story.

Let me get on board the Unanimous Praise Train. As noted by previous posters, you have raised some unique issues about the scramble to figure out how to survive a potentially word destroying emergency. There is no neat little manual to refer to. Existing hierarchies of government and the economy have been decimated. Everyone is forced to make it up as they go, in both the revolution in personal relationships and maintaining a working society. That is what makes this so much more than just one more (well a ton of, actually) harem story.

As I have mentioned before in comments to various of the QT authors, I am in awe of the uniformly superb quality of this group. I don’t know how CP has managed to create and control the QT team. It should be impossible to keep such a unified theme, simultaneously allowing such a disparate group their own voices and yet not step on each other’s toes. And so many relatively inexperienced if not brand new writers makes it even more amazing.

The only complaint I have is that despite the relatively high pace of the collective output, it doesn’t come near to satisfying the needs of your heavily addicted fans. You as a group have only yourselves to blame for the state we readers find ourselves in. So get your nose back to that grindstone lest we all expire in frustration.

another great chapter and addition to the Quaranteam universe.

While you didn't choose the way of defining words that I prefer, I understand the reasoning for your way and it seems that you chose fairly, so this is the last time I will mention it.

Otherwise, I'm enjoying your story and look forward to reading more of it.

Thank you

When the glossary challenges the story content for word count, something is wrong!!!! This is just me whining for longer story submittals

Good storyline so far. Some people will complain about the lack of sex. I am OK with that as long as it's a good story. I am sure we will get to the sex. I do wish there were more writers. Would be nice to get an installment on someone's story every day. Especially during the winter when things get boring.

Is there something wrong with his wife? Is she having a affair or something? Why isn't she sleeping with her husband?

Good story. You are doing fine. Thanks.

Please stop worrying about glossary or writing about your process, decison-making, etc. Just write the story. If you use words that have a quick one or two word English definition, maybe just put it in parentheses; if you feel a need to give a long definition or explanation, put it at the end. Just stop worrying about it and talking about worrying about it. You have good characters and a good story -- albeit that might be a little too short per episode, when the explanations and glossary are not considered.

Its a really good story. Just tell it.

-- Anomymous One

I really think you are focusing too much on the glossary...while I like the idea in theory and I admire your wanting to provide a cultural bridge, I find myself becoming more frustrated with the basically 50/50 word count split between the story and the glossary or talking about the glossary. I'd much rather you just write, giving a solid 3 - 5 pages of story, and let people who aren't able to figure out the context and need translation go look it up online.

At the end of the day, any confusion over the use of a native word is vastly overshadowed by discovering that basically half of the submission is not part of the story.

Enjoying this take on QT.

Minor point: it would be helpful (at least for me) if you could find someone to show you how to collect your individual submissions into a series that would prompt Lit to add the link box for "next ... previous ...series info".

Can't wait for the next chapter

So, regarding the word count. This submission has 6418 words of STORY. That exceeds my self-imposed 5000 word minimum by 28.4%.

That means the Glossary and Notes are NOT 50% of this 8158-word submission. There's a reason I have that 5k story target. It takes time to research, write, proof, edit, get feedback, revise, sometimes re-revise, format, and post. And it kinda annoys me when people misrepresent something. Something that I purposefully track.

I typically put about at least 2 hours a night into this, and while I've been fortunate that the muse is still riding me (really hoping she's not a leannán sídhe, cause I'm def getting a raw deal then - I ain't gettin' no Aos sí trim...), and I've got some raw buffer, at some point, revision and research needs are going to catch up to what I have written. (What, you think I know the details of the Great Mahele off the top of my head? Pssh. I wish I had. Wouldn't have had to research all that for... Oops. Almost slipped up there.)

To the comment about embedded notes. Lit may have allowed that once, but as far as I can tell they no longer do. In the story I know of that evidently once used them, the links are broken, and IIRC, they only go to definitions and explanations farther down in the story. Every time I've tried submitting something with any HTML beyond bold, italic, and underline, it gets kicked back.

So I'm doing what I can, within the limits of the platform. And taking the time to explain to you good folks what I'm doing and why.

You no like? K den, whatevs. Nobody wen force you fo read um, yeah? So you no come, ack da kine and make shibai about "50/50".

To the Anonymous poster right before cindyp1976 - thanks for pointing out that the stories weren't showing up as part of a series! Turns out there's a step I missed - in addition to defining the series, you have to publish the series separately from the stories that comprise the series. Once the mods approve the Series, the works should show up in it. Mahalo nui, Anonymous poster!

I like the story, but the glossary is totally annoying. If it has to be there, please put it at the begining or ending of the section. I don't even read it, and I can usually pick up on the meaning just by continuing to read. The story is VERY good and I've added you to my favorites so I can keep reading the Hawaiian QT storyline. The character and story development are great (I'm not reading any of the QT stories for the sex, it's the story that I'm loving). Keep up the good work and think about using less words that have to be explained, lol.

The story so far has been very good. I like the glossary, as understanding someone's language foundations helps me understand the person. However, Gwen seems a bit controlling. Mal explains that he won't make a decision for them without her input, then she comes out and basically orders him to do it without talking about it with him. The sleeping separately seems like a coping mechanism for the large sudden change in their lives.

Am I the only one who really does not like Gwen. She's Mal's wife and he clearly loves her so I want to like her for his sake but she's making it so difficult. First, she's frigid and frankly pretty rude to him after months of being quarantined apart. Okay, that's not great, but maybe understandable, she's stressed out. But then, literally 5 seconds after Malcolm gets done saying he won't take away his wife's agency by making a decision like this without her, she marches in and declares that they're taking the deal. No checking in with him. No conversation to see if he's fine with it. Not even a glance at him to see if she can read his face. Unlike her husband, she seems to have no difficulty at all taking away her spouse's agency and simply making important, lifelong decisions on his behalf. I'm really trying very hard not to use the much maligned C-word here but it sure is itching to come out.

Excellent storyline just gets better

Scores 5/5

However, what the hell is up with Gwen?

Something is not right with her. I think she no longer feels the same about her husband, her attitude to him is off.

Glossary is doing my head in , its like directors commentary. This story has lots of potential but its grating on me.

Jesus, I think you made your series twice as big by adding Glossary over and over again. Nothing for nothing, never have lived in Hawaii, but I've figure out unique words by reading around the words themselves. Oh, and if can read stories out of UK, etc. I think I can get by without a glossary available in your story. Just trying to help, not trying to be overly critical, even if it feels that way.