Quartet: Eleanor Ch. 05

Roger called the Psychiatrist's office the next morning and after a brief discussion with the Doctor to outline the events in Steve's recent past, he was able to obtain an appointment for an assessment the next week. The following Tuesday, Steve made his first of a series of visits to Dr. Weisman and to the relief of his father, was willing to stick with it; despite the difficulty of the sessions. Steve wouldn't reveal the nature of the sessions, but it was evident that some progress was being made as his outlook and attitude appeared to be more positive over the next few weeks. It was also clear that the sessions were very intense and there were times when he came back to the apartment mentally exhausted. He was obviously battling inner demons and it was one thing with which his father could not interfere.

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Roger hadn't counted on the unexpected consequences of Steve's therapy sessions. Steve began to prepare some of the meals and indicated his interest in learning to cook. He enrolled in a 'Cooking for Bachelors' class at the local Vocational College. Within a few weeks, he was demonstrating his new skills and his father and often Eleanor were the appreciative beneficiaries. The following spring, he enrolled in sailing classes. Roger remembered his son's happy adventures during his youth with his friends and their little ten foot, plywood sailing dinghy. He also enrolled in a water safety programme based on the Power Squadron course. He had, over the course of several months, changed his outlook completely.

What Roger did not learn were the secret haunts that Steve had to deal with and to somehow remove. He was just grateful that he could see his son return to a more productive and seemingly happy state. It came as a surprise then when Steve told him of his plans for the future.

"Dad, I've made a decision. I thought you should know about it first." he began haltingly. "I can't tell you how grateful I am and how good it was to be here with you these past months. You put up with a lot and I know it's put a crimp in your social life; especially with Eleanor. It's time for me to move on and rebuild a life for myself." he stated simply.

Roger nodded quietly; waiting for the 'other shoe' to drop.

"I've decided to head back to the West Coast, dad. I'm going to Vancouver to live. I think it's where I belong. I've always loved the Ocean and the Mountains and I think I'll be happy making a new life there. It's our home town from back when I was just a kid." he concluded.

"You've given this a lot of thought?" his father asked solemnly.

"Yah ... I have. I'll miss you and Ellie, dad. I really will ... but ... it's what I think I'll be happiest with." he said with a wrinkled smile.

"We'll miss you son. But, I promise, we won't lose track of you again. We will stay in touch much more closely than before." Roger said, looking away as a tear formed.

They had a farewell party with Steve's friends from the cooking and sailing classes and some of the acquaintances he had made in the building. Eleanor insisted on acting as hostess for the party and almost thirty people crowded into her apartment that Saturday afternoon and evening Steve's friends from cooking school catered the affair as volunteers and spent a good deal of their time critiquing each other's work in a good natured and upbeat atmosphere. Most of them envied Steve and his plan to move west. His friends from the sailing school could only enthusiastically endorse the cuisine and recommend it to anyone within hearing range. They too were envious of his future Pacific Coast address. Eleanor and Roger mixed with the crowd and enjoyed themselves thoroughly with the generally younger group of men and a few women. It was well past ten before the party broke up and when the last of the guests left, the three of them slumped down in the living room sofa to relax and enjoy and final glass of wine.

"I was surprised at how many friends you've made since you've been here, Steve." Eleanor said brightly.

"I am too." he answered smiling. "I guess not poisoning anyone in cooking class always helps." he laughed.

"Seriously ... that's a good thing, Steve." his father added. "I've never thought of you as a real social animal or whatever the phrase is, but you seem to collect up people who like to be around you. That's a good sign." he said sincerely.

Steve just shrugged and smiled at his father and Eleanor and leaned his head back. "I think it's time for bed." he said and began to get up from the sofa. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night." he smiled as he slipped out the door and down the hallway toward the elevators.

"He's going to be fine, Roger. He's going to be just fine." Eleanor said with conviction. "You must be really proud of him."

"Yes, I am. I think I can quit worrying about him now. I'll miss him, though." he said quietly.

"Why don't you stay here tonight, dear? You look tired and I have just the remedy for that." she smiled.

Roger grinned at his lover and reached out to take her hand. "You're always here to look out for me, aren't you?"

"Come to bed ... let me help you sleep soundly." Eleanor rose and they walked down the hallway to the bedroom.

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In the weeks following Steve's departure, Eleanor and Roger's lives resumed their former course. They had fallen into a 'groove' that was comfortable and familiar and they didn't see any need to change it. It was Roger who began to detect the differences, however. Instead of being together three of four nights each week, they had slipped to two or three. It didn't happen all at once, but gradually, over time. In his private thoughts, Roger wondered if Eleanor was becoming less attracted to him; if possible, less in love with him. The thought brought a cold, empty feeling to the pit of his stomach. He agonized about it for weeks before he knew he had to talk to her about it.

One weekday evening, after an uncharacteristic second glass of brandy, Roger summoned all remaining courage and broached the subject.

"Ellie, I have an awkward question to ask you." he began.

She looked up from her magazine and looked curiously at him. "Go ahead."

"Is there something different or ... changed about me that is affecting us?" he asked hesitantly.

Eleanor looked at him with a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean ... has something changed between us ... our relationship?"

"No ... I don't think so. What makes you think so?"

"I'm not sure, but ... well ... we don't make love or sleep together as often as we used to. I was wondering if maybe you feel differently about me now?"

Eleanor smiled, stood and came to his side on the sofa. She placed her arm on his shoulders and held him as she looked into his eyes. "No, Roger. Nothing has changed. I love you ... you must know that. We don't need to make love to know that about each other." She said with quiet sincerity.

Roger smiled at her, but a look of worry was still written on his face and Eleanor saw that and leaned forward and kissed him.

"Roger, you are the only man in my life and you are the most important person in my life. I wouldn't be happy without you. I don't know why you think I might have changed my feelings toward you, but you must believe me ... I truly love you."

"Have I asked you to marry me lately?" he asked with a faint smile. "It seems to me I've missed a couple of months."

He saw Eleanor's eyes cloud over and knew he had chosen the wrong moment to press her again.

"I'm sorry, Roger. We've been over this many times. I like my life the way it is. I'm sorry if you are unhappy or maybe feel insecure about our relationship. All I can do is assure you that I do love you." she said quietly, looking away from him.

Roger slumped back in the sofa and sighed deeply. They sat silently together for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

"Roger, I ... there is something different about me." she said hesitantly. She looked away from him briefly and then back to him.

"I'm ...going through menopause."

"Oh, Ellie, I should have known. That was stupid and inconsiderate of me. I should have known!"

"It's all right, Roger. I should have told you and maybe you wouldn't have had those doubts. I think I'm one of the lucky ones and it isn't bothering me as much as some women, but it's early yet. Please be patient with me?" she pleaded.

"Of course." he answered immediately, holding her tightly and kissing her. "Guys don't get it, huh!" he laughed.

"No, guys don't get it ... in more ways than one." she laughed.

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