All Comments on 'Quicksilver'

Much of this story, which grew longer than I expected, was written on a tablet and is slightly based on real people and events although I omitted the mass bike streaks, the crowds of naked couriers rolling through the SF Financial District on sunny noontimes. The tale arose from overhearing a receptionist ask a bike courier, “College man?” A distant spinoff “Quicksilver Blues” may be forthcoming. I urge you to listen to psychedelic music by Quicksilver Messenger Service and Steve Miller’s QUICKSILVER GIRL.

I loved this. Nice development of the characters, the sex does not got boring, yet stays relevant. Keep writing!

I thoroughly enjoyed this lengthy but excellent tome.

🤔Little too long that an editor could have tightened up, BUT I enjoyed the trip.

Good work.👍🥇

Amazing epic. An opus. A masterpiece. Well done!

I almost gave up around page 8 or 10, but I’m glad I stayed on. It was worth it!

Thank you for writing, and thank you for sharing your work.

I wonder how this would have appeared as a 5-7 page story about their actual romance rather than their extensive business dealings. It was a sort of B-school exercise in business development along with the associated legal and management concerns. The first movement to Beethoven's fabulous violin concerto is the longest such movement in the classical repertoire, but only because the first half is more or less repeated to double its length. I wouldn't even begin to compare this quality of "literature" with the music of Beethoven, but this author did the same thing to make it 20 pages long instead of 7. She/he didn't really need to create two episodes where the cars are painted and Lydia gets both a Citroen and an Audi. Wasted verbiage. And all the duplicate sketching, drawing and painting and studio music scenes. Too much without really adding to the thrust of the story.

And you can put me down in the column of those who think 16 years is too great an age spread for people. Not that the age itself is a deterrent, but the level of individual maturation is so different. A 38 year old and a 22 year old are in such different places in their individual growth paths that it would be a miracle if they meshed. Well, in Fantasyland (aka Literotica) maybe such miracles happen, but it doesn't sit right in my mind.

Another point that didn't sit right with me is the inordinate level of detail in the descriptions. I won't win many points among the "woke", but I have found that women writers over-describe the action in a story and without looking at Hypoxia's bio I would bet this author is a woman. The fact that it is written from the woman's point of view is sort of a give-away, but I think the over-detailed descriptions seal the sources gender.

I'm not sure why I slogged through all 20 pages - maybe because in this Covid induced isolation I have some extra time on my hands, but I did and it was indeed a brave literary effort, but I was so worn out that I couldn't rate it above 3*. I'm going to look at something else by this author and see if she can indeed write with some discipline. There may well be a real writer hidden under all that wordage.

Keep in mind that QS is essentially the diary of a legal secretary with a good memory. A 3rd-person POV would have seen more but felt less. Everything in the novella is there for effect and flavor, and a 'romance' can linger on many details, although I *could* have skipped the homage to Kage Baker.. Sorry you didn't enjoy it. BTW Figgy was my family cat and Maxwell's Demon was my high school band.

Love the story (even though I rarely read stories 20 pages long). Perhaps I loved it because I was married to a younger man for 29 years. Overcritical needs to use paragraphs!

Great story wonderful detail especially the electronics back story. Read it all in one sitting. Brings back memories of the 70s. Thank you. Looking forward to your next story.

Nostalgia is always appealing to us 'old' romantics. Nicely done.

Maybe a little too long for a contest entry, otherwise a good length story packed with detail making a leisurely and pleasurable read. The style was punchy and quirky which that helped carry one through the detail.

And I loved the humour, fancy giving Lois and Clark as names at the hospital. As we're others such as howling through her orgasms.

Very well done. 5 stars from me.

WAY too long. Not even a great editor would have saved this train wreck.

I couldn't stop reading. Standing ovation with 5 curtain calls.

You painted wonderful images in my mind.

Character development and relationships are rich and warm.

Now, after enjoying it a second time, I can honestly say it was a pleasant read which left good memories to read it another time later on.

My personal highlights were the humor - "I still do not entirely trust cats. Even Figgy." - and mostly well balanced story line between ups and downs, trust and doubts, which both leaned to their respective first aspect, the main characters slowly - in terms of story telling, maybe less in a way of reported time - growing together.

While the third quarter was less balanced in that way, to some extent more fairy tale-ish; it also held a different kind of morale: would money (and success) corrupt you - and maybe even your love? In this moment, Nate seems to be the more grown up - or wiser from experience - to stick to his principles, all the while, he's the Devil's advocate, inspiring all these new business projects which might spoil the artist's pure soul...well, it ended happily, I hope.

Thanks for allowing me a look on the raw version.