All Comments on 'Rachel'

Good story BUT why do women think a bit of strange on the side is OK and that hubby will forgive them ? I never did

Once caught people tend to lie and say a lot of things that are not true. It's the action that speaks. Once a person cheats there is no other course than separation. Even if a person forgives cheating is a thrill that craves another attempt. So cheater is bound to repeat it.

"...what you have done has devastated my sense of self worth and my male ego..."

Authors that insist upon talking about the mc's "male ego" never tell us how his female ego feels. This one's male ego is devastated. Does that imply that his female ego is exhilarated? If the two egos do not balance out does insanity ensue? If the two come together do they produce an infantile ego? These authors never tell us any thing about any of this stuff.

LWlurker

It's another unending story. If one can't finish the damn story shouldn't start.

And I hate the word, EGO. It's rather PRIDE to them who has self respect and self esteem.

Just a damp ending to a promising story.

A bit weird. Good start though.

No

Called him Tim in middle of sex. DONE

Money

What happened to her Big bonus

Not bad, and could've ended there. I can see why some readers might think u should finish and I agree to an extent, but an epilogue probably would've tidied up this story though. If I had the creative juices, I would've just added them meeting after a yr or 2 and him being married or engaged to someone else not like her.

Its a good story. 4 star story. Its missing a epilogue and you mentioned male ego, its not male ego its self respect. If a man had been cheating on his wife for months and she divorced him is that ego? I added another star back because Kevin had a stipulation for reconciliation but had no interest in reconciling.

You essentially start out the story with a jarring reference. "They turned every head in the place, of course? And why? Because this is a Literotica story, of course."

You're not telling a story, you're telling "inside baseball" jokes. This self-conscious "we're all just telling Literotica stories to each other, right fellas?" trope is amateurish and distracting.

Then the story descends into just another monologuing diatribe, where hubby gets in all the shots, and wifey snivels and cries. Hubby alternates between dictator-for-a-day, and mr-sad-droopyface, essentially saying, "Don't tell me you want me. You don't want me. No one wants me."

You should work all this stuff out in therapy, and not here.

that one had a reconciliation is inevitable or she missed out because he found a new love before she was ready. Liked that couple for some reason though. Thanks.

You say, “I was sitting there in Tobler's having a refreshing malt beverage with a few of my friends…”

Are you and your friends so precious that you don’t drink beer? Do you think it impresses your readers that instead of saying “having a beer with a few of my friends“ you have to instead tell us “refreshing malt beverage”?

How about “an exemplary, delicious, inspired-by-the-Rocky-Mountains cascade of light amber carbonated exquisiteness, served in a clear vessel, topped with crisp, snow-white foam?” Is that more “literary?” Do we care more about him being in a bar with friends, or do we want to go get ourselves a drink now?

You’ve got to remember the point of the story. The point was that he was in a bar with friends. We can all assume he was drinking something. It’s a bar. What he was drinking does not fucking matter, unless it becomes an important plot point later.

Good writing, BUT poor choice of characters... she is a cold hearted, cheating whore with no compassion or concern about her husband... the one she claims to love bur who she made a cuck. He is an emotional deprived dullard wimp. No interest in such characters. One star.

This was not a particularly exciting story. I can't even say it's realistic because the ending is just damn weird... who would say, "Oh I'll get back with you after you live with the other man for an indeterminate number of months"? I can SORT of figure out the rationalization behind that, but when you look at it past the surface it's kind of dumb. Just have some nuts and tell her "no". Telling people "no" is hella easy, my 6 year old does it all the time :)