All Comments on 'Rachel'

This was not a particularly exciting story. I can't even say it's realistic because the ending is just damn weird... who would say, "Oh I'll get back with you after you live with the other man for an indeterminate number of months"? I can SORT of figure out the rationalization behind that, but when you look at it past the surface it's kind of dumb. Just have some nuts and tell her "no". Telling people "no" is hella easy, my 6 year old does it all the time :)

Good writing, BUT poor choice of characters... she is a cold hearted, cheating whore with no compassion or concern about her husband... the one she claims to love bur who she made a cuck. He is an emotional deprived dullard wimp. No interest in such characters. One star.

You say, “I was sitting there in Tobler's having a refreshing malt beverage with a few of my friends…”

Are you and your friends so precious that you don’t drink beer? Do you think it impresses your readers that instead of saying “having a beer with a few of my friends“ you have to instead tell us “refreshing malt beverage”?

How about “an exemplary, delicious, inspired-by-the-Rocky-Mountains cascade of light amber carbonated exquisiteness, served in a clear vessel, topped with crisp, snow-white foam?” Is that more “literary?” Do we care more about him being in a bar with friends, or do we want to go get ourselves a drink now?

You’ve got to remember the point of the story. The point was that he was in a bar with friends. We can all assume he was drinking something. It’s a bar. What he was drinking does not fucking matter, unless it becomes an important plot point later.

that one had a reconciliation is inevitable or she missed out because he found a new love before she was ready. Liked that couple for some reason though. Thanks.

You essentially start out the story with a jarring reference. "They turned every head in the place, of course? And why? Because this is a Literotica story, of course."

You're not telling a story, you're telling "inside baseball" jokes. This self-conscious "we're all just telling Literotica stories to each other, right fellas?" trope is amateurish and distracting.

Then the story descends into just another monologuing diatribe, where hubby gets in all the shots, and wifey snivels and cries. Hubby alternates between dictator-for-a-day, and mr-sad-droopyface, essentially saying, "Don't tell me you want me. You don't want me. No one wants me."

You should work all this stuff out in therapy, and not here.

Its a good story. 4 star story. Its missing a epilogue and you mentioned male ego, its not male ego its self respect. If a man had been cheating on his wife for months and she divorced him is that ego? I added another star back because Kevin had a stipulation for reconciliation but had no interest in reconciling.

Not bad, and could've ended there. I can see why some readers might think u should finish and I agree to an extent, but an epilogue probably would've tidied up this story though. If I had the creative juices, I would've just added them meeting after a yr or 2 and him being married or engaged to someone else not like her.

No

Called him Tim in middle of sex. DONE

Money

What happened to her Big bonus

A bit weird. Good start though.

Just a damp ending to a promising story.

It's another unending story. If one can't finish the damn story shouldn't start.

And I hate the word, EGO. It's rather PRIDE to them who has self respect and self esteem.

"...what you have done has devastated my sense of self worth and my male ego..."

Authors that insist upon talking about the mc's "male ego" never tell us how his female ego feels. This one's male ego is devastated. Does that imply that his female ego is exhilarated? If the two egos do not balance out does insanity ensue? If the two come together do they produce an infantile ego? These authors never tell us any thing about any of this stuff.

LWlurker

Once caught people tend to lie and say a lot of things that are not true. It's the action that speaks. Once a person cheats there is no other course than separation. Even if a person forgives cheating is a thrill that craves another attempt. So cheater is bound to repeat it.

Good story BUT why do women think a bit of strange on the side is OK and that hubby will forgive them ? I never did

Alpha- beta story..wowww.

Another if your stories which left me without an end. The whe last year looks like something to finish the story without actually finishing it.

And why did she decide she wants her husband back when 12 hours before that she said she was in love with another?

Incomplete

What crap

Quite a ridiculous story. I really can't see a husband just turning over in bed if his wife called out another mans name as he was fucking her. That is just as ridiculous as the story.

...who cares absolutely not for his readers...all ur stories end like premature ejaculation...something I am sure u suffer from...

There is no proper ending...no proper resolution one way or another...

That’s why I don’t rate u high...u just don’t deserve it!

Interesting..

Reread. I didn't like it as much this time. Just don't like seeing cheaters have happy endings.

Well I read through your story submissions tonight and I kind of like the way you worked out your little theme or philosophy of the cheater going with their lover while the husband either stays in the house while that relationship continues or forces the wife to start a committed relationship with the lover. Usually in these stories the husband has a huge amount of strum and drang and sticks around for the children or enacts some sort of Stockholm syndrome type punishment where he remains the captive in this situation. Happily the emasculation, the humiliation is not there in these stories and that's great. I think all these play on Spocks famous words to Stonn at the end of the classic Star Trek episode where he says to Stonn, "you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting" And this is the concept, the punishment, the guillotine of guilt anothermarriedude puts his cheating wifes through in his stories. It works on various levels although I can't imagine it would play out so smoothly in real life but it makes for an interesting variation on a well worn theme.

Oh but the breaking of the 4th wall and the constant references to Lit and the readers do nothing in any story to improve it. I wish Lit writers would leave that alone, we come here to forget the outside world and immerse in a new one for a few minutes. It comes off as an infomercial instead of a clever LITerary pun.

Average story

Actually would lower rating if possible

I do know a few couples who struggled with infidelity most just movesd on

The ones who stayed together usually did so for kids and as soon as grown divorced

Basically had no respect for each other and usually communicated this to kids so loss loss scenario

Committed relationship so next time same guidelines?

Or is this a one time deal?

Don't believe that as many reconcile accountant old saying but repeat necessary

Figures don't lie but liars figure!!!!

She was having great sex with former boyfriend and told him

Why would he even want to go there?

Masochistic tendencies?

No feelings for either

3 stars as you wrote but content nothing

Rachel came in with a couple of her friends. They turned every head in the place, of course? And why? Because this is a Literotica story, of course.

I’m only three paragraphs in but burst out laughing when I read these lines. I promise to go back and read the rest and maybe add additional thoughts later, but I really found those few lines humorous and wanted to take a minute to say so.

this author's stories tend to be quite similar. The "punishment of you must "fuck the other guy" trope gets tired.

And original.

My comment would be, he married someone else’s woman to begin with. He just wasn’t experienced enough to recognize it.

Kevin’s plan was interesting, to say the least. Very well thought out, and executed on his part. Very creative thinking by the writer.

I wouldn’t call it a type of revenge, though. It’s not. Kevin didn’t do anything without carefully thinking about how it would affect Rachel as well as himself (her actions didn’t consider the impact on Kevin). He gave Tim no thought at all. She understood immediately that Kevin’s conditions were impossible; she didn’t have false hopes- only self-inflicted pain. Finally, Kevin got no satisfaction (or personal gain) from her pain.

Why is pain not transferable?

If there was true fairness in this world, we should be able to transfer our pain to those who hurt us!

"Now bitch, walk ten miles in my shoes!"

Different kind of cheating wife story. Maybe his revenge Wii be complete when Tim cheats and she finds herself without him, and Kevin has moved on. Hopefully, her devastation will match Kevin's.

I would of been willing to share her with Tim. Nothing like sloppy seconds and cream pies, yummy. Even better if Rachel made him suck Tim's cock.

Good STORY and 5*s to offset the narrow minded who gave it a 1.

to guess, what you already know. TK U MLJ LV NV

wimpy cuck shit.

Sorry but this story needs a lot of work and a major re-writing. There are no emotion an open end, since all the sotry points to the year away period which you basically dismissed. Interesting idea very badly written.

Badly written,badly edited and total nonsense.Don't bother there are good writers on this site to be bothered to waste time on this persons rubbish

I was cheering for Rachel. Her hubby is self-absorbed android. A wimp too.

Author is a cuck too.

This writer is just a huge pussy, could his male lead be any more pathetic?????

Feel it should be continued??

Don't flatter yourself. It should not have been started.

Any "ending" would just be as stupid as the dipshit wanting the slut to go live with Tim

unfinished cuck shit.

This is what a broken marriage and divorce feels like.

Sometimes you get what you want, but lose what you had.

This is a very good LW story in my opinion , because the author captured the true essence of what most men feel when their wives adultery is discovered.

The storyline is an oldie but a goody , but what sets this apart from so many others is his honest self dialog. It really gets to the heart of the matter in a way that few have , and it's done in a calm , almost reserved way.

His explanation about the difference between her betrayal sexually as opposed to if she were an alcoholic or a problem gambler is spot on !

His request that she have a real relationship with Tim , was a novel approach , but seeing that he truly didn't want her back and knowing Tim's M.O. was actually the best revenge that he would ever have. Putting two cheaters together is a recipe for heartbreak for one if not both of them. Brilliant.

Yes , I remember reading this way back when , but its like I read it through different eyes this time. Very well done author.

5*'s

I have a real problem with commenters firing at each other. Comment on the story, this one took a good point and heavily hit it. One a cheater destroys a marriage it needs to end and probably will never come together again. The old proverb, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, applies almost always.

The exwife was so stupid to go live with a serial cheater, and one that cheated with her, doesn't she realize its ingrained into his personality?

for a good story and to offset the asshole of LIT's 1 vote!!

obviously these other little perverts who also commented your story are very modest. But I reassure you: don't listen to these idiots - you have written very uninspired. And looking towards your other stories I don't think you can do better.

I gave this a 5 for the content. Great story good info

one of the most boring stories... he talks and talks and talks... and talks and talks....

Strange that HIV really liked this story - cant remember him liking anything. I kind of agree the Bullet - story is ok but a bit odd and somehow stifled. Resolution of the situation was good though. Five stars!

i really liked this story. Five stars.

The little things, it's a matter of asking the right questions, do you really have to work such long hours for so many weeks, how can you do that and still be competent at your job, surely you can have an assistant to ease the workload, who else is working with you, do they not have a home to go to?, and watch the reaction to these enquiries, it's in the voice and the eyes where you find the answers, and of course this applies to both parties, contrary to most stories posted here men have been known to stray to. I read SpltAces comments and at first read you can think he is overbearing, arrogant and domineering in his attitude but no, you do not have to be aggressive in your actions you simply have to be firm and determined in what you want to know, he is right about men and women in the workplace, not all but many think they have some prior claim over the women under them, (no pun intended) I had a problem with an assistant manager of a department many years past, a few words, discreet, polite and firm no one was hurt. Anothermarrieddude writes a good story ,unfortunately it's all to real for many, the grass always looks greener on the other side, funny old world isn't it.

doesn't mean much on a one way street. TK U MLJ LV NV

What was he thinking?:

"how I'd explain a private detective bill to her if this turned out to be all a big mistake"

That's easy, she called him by another mans name while they were having sex, after being together for over ten years she should know his name.

That would make anyone in a monogamous relationship suspicious, no further explanation needed.

Interesting comment "Splitaces" I agree you must fight for your marriage, however? Rachel in this case or story was the near perfect liar. She kept an affair quiet until her accident in their bed room by yelling out Tim's name instead of Kevin's. Here is my observation, Kevin and Rachel have been a couple for 10 or 11 years, the beginning of the story has them in college, Rachel (sophomore) Kevin (junior) then married for 8 years then this happens. Now, with that said, I would agree you fight for your marriage as a man, and I will submit so should a woman. (if the marriage really had any meaning) The problem here is the fight died when Rachel had this secret sexual affair, and the evidence from the PI report clearly showed (audio and video) Rachel was in love with Tim all over again. May I remind you that Tim as in the story was Rachel's previous relationship before Kevin. Now, the question is why fight, the war is lost, because Rachel's mind and heart and body too was not into the marriage anymore. If Rachel was able to simply throw away a loving marriage of 8 years and add the relationship of 10 or more years, nothing was going to be done to win her back. If Rachel truly wanted Kevin for life? She would not have entered into the old relationship, and even after discovery, Rachel would have fought with all her might to repair and save her marriage. Instead she split and went on with Tim, something she actually wanted all along but did not have the guts to tell the truth.

Apparently, you're trying to do nothing and still keep your self respect. At least you dumped her; but you're still a big pussy. Tim attacked your life. In my opinion, the only thing worse that he could do to you is murder! You just cried and did nothing. I have no respect for Kevin. I know what I'm talking about. I married a playboy bunny 36 years ago come December. We're still happily married; but if I acted like Kevin, I would have lost her before my first anniversary. Our marriage was under attack from day one, but nothing was more important to me, and I'd do anything to protect it. That meant being constantly alert and proactive. No sneaky shit got past me. No "innocent" flirting was tolerated. There were no girls nights out or guys nights out for that matter. All socializing was done as a couple. Thankfully, we started our family immediately because it was impossible for her to hold a job. Her coworkers and bosses wouldn't leave her alone. Talk about arrogant assholes! They actually thought their business relationship with her trumped mine, Ha! I set them straight! The point is, Kevin's marriage didn't have to end like it did; if he had only grown a pair and protected it.

Didn't do much for me, felt tired, laboured & almost as if the writer was disinterested in the plot. Quite well written tho. 3***

There is always room for more if someone wants to write it - BUT this is complete.

Rachel is likely to be suffering greatly still and now has more insight into what she did, what she gave up and what she needs to become.

I liked it, self respect is retained, door not fully closed if he chooses and subtle yet effective keep u awake at night thoughts for her as she eases into familiarity and boredom with Tim.. Quietly devious.

from a purely logical point of view. Probably impossible to instigate in reality - but then, that is fictional stories are written.

Good job!

but clearly ran out of steam

If you cannot finish a story - do not write them!!

very interesting... like drinking too much whiskey, until you burn out on it.

So very zen. 99 X out of 100, the best punishment for a cheater who has a loving spouse is to force them out of wedded relationship & have them shack up with their fellow charlatan in morals. It oughta be a law.

The wife and her lover were both cheaters. What are the odds that they both stay faithfull to each other? By doing what he did he insures his ex lives with an asshole for several months. That's revenge.

It's akin to if a child repeatedly steals cookies from a jar & eats them , shorting his or her faimly their fair share of dessert. A suitable punishment would be to require them to eat those cookies with EVERY meal until the young their would rather go hungry , then eat another cookie. Kudos to the author for agile execution of this latent retribution conception of debasing a loved object by forced familiarity.

but a bit unbelieveable in some areas, no man would tell her to go to the other man. I just do see anyone being that calm even if the guy was 80, also why leave the door open for a return. His has moved on with another woman, so when the time comes he's going to hurt the new woman by even considering taking that whore back.

so now i hate cuck stroys.

of a cornholing, if the cock you are smoking is meaty, betrayed!

Kevin could have retaliated viciously. But he gave Rachel a choice. Commit to her lover and if it doesn't work out maybe we can try again. But Kevin knew this wouldn't happen. He gave her some false hope.

Never cheat on your spouse.

Consequences abound.

His device was interesting. His telling her that he would only consider reconciliation after she gave Tim a go was pretty sly move. It would likely lead to the relationship going sour-in part because she would be pining for Kevin (at least on some level), she would be seeing the relationship as a stepping-stone, the mystery and excitement of the liasson with Tim would pass, and she would realize how good she had it with Kevin. Even if she found her feelings for Tim were genuine and deep, I think the ghost of Kevin would be a presence over the relationship-from Tim's perspective, too. In the end, she would get Tim out of her system, and perhaps learn the lesson about the relative importance of a loving marriage vs. a steamy sexual affair. Whether Kevin ever takes her back or not, I think by insisting on her giving the relationship with Tim a go, he all but guarantees that the relationship will sour, and will prolong her suffering.

Insisting she has a relationship with his rival does not work at all. Although, I completely agree that women cannot separate sex and love. Once she opened the door to infidelity in their relationship, it could never be closed. She would never be trustworthy again.

Presentation still is important in writing. Misuse of "Tim" for Kevin is just irritating. Low score results for rest of the piece. Some of the thoughts of confused emotions are valid, giving some value to the work.

But I noticed that fuckwit DWmoroncuck commented below as well. Man, I hate her/him/it...

- if she loved him then he wasn't fulfilling her sexual needs

- if he was, then she didn't love him

And it's weird how she didn't want Tim to be seeing other women at the start of the story, then she cheats on Kevin.. hate that kinda two-faced shit

Actually I liked some of your dialogue. Especially the part where there is more than one way to betray your spouse. Such as alcoholism, gambling addictions, and such. My first wife was a cheater and my second an alcoholic. I felt betrayed more by the second wife even though it is a disease she can't help. You can never communicate with an alcoholic accept in between the bouts of drinking. When they are actually drunk they don't care what they do. When sober between bouts of drinking they feel guilty and resentful. Alcoholics seldom accept that anything is their own fault and look for reasons for why they drink.

So, in the one instance they don't care about anyone when drunk, and in the other they shut down towards you because it is a mental self-defense mechanism. Somewhere and somehow, amidst all that they can be the loving person you loved. That is what keeps you hoping that they will quit drinking.

With cheaters that have hurt your manhood, ego and trust by turning to another for intimacy and sex, you can boot them out and move on. I guess that with any betrayal, one wants to keep the union and family together if they can. Being rejected for another man is a tough one...even if for only a brief time. I booted my first wife out. I must admit my life did not get better for it!

Just a thought, this is one of the first times a writer has brought this out. Yes I know, it is a loving wives "Erotic" site!

There will not be a part two!! Did not like the story sorry!!! Well written but got flat half way in I look forward to reading your future stories.

Normally women choose a dependable and good provider and then when ovoluting have sneaky sex with exceptionally attractive men. She chooses Tim because for one he is exceptionally attractive. However, Tim is not a one night stand; Tim is a long term relationship. The problem with exceptionally attractive men is that for them women are very easy; therefore, they cheat much more than less attractive men.

For a one night stand, men were more likely to accept when the hypothetical woman was moderately or exceptionally attractive than when she was slightly unattractive, but whether she was moderately or exceptionally attractive made no difference. Women however placed more importance on the requestor's good looks. They were more likely to accept the apartment and bed requests from an exceptionally attractive man than from either a moderately attractive or slightly unattractive man.

One thing I like about this story is there is no revenge against Tim which in my humble opinion would be very stupid and a waste of time and effort. There are tens of millions of men in the USA that will fuck a pretty woman married or not. Therefore, revenge against one man is no more effective than killing a single cockroach in an appartment infested with cockroaches.

Where are the children in your stories (plural)?????

In a good story you wrote for example : with Tina we have 2 children....

The analysis of how to proceed after discovering the betrayal held my attention. Usually emotions would get in the way of all this thought!

I can not understand why Rachel did not break things off with Tim the moment she noted she had exchanged names. It was obvious that her husband would put a PI on her, but the lack of concrete evidence would weaken his position in a divorce. At the least, Tim being her lover before Kevin gave her some room to maneuver. But once registered in the DVD's, no chance.

facing a cheating dreamer with the cruel effects of reality, is great revenge indeed. but it takes a lot of courage.

i liked the story, thank you.

Name any man that would give up his house for a slut, then all that other crap. Please move on

I didn't particularly enjoy the ending, so I guess you might say I almost liked it.

This ended almost well. I hope he was not so insecure and needy that he could not form new relations with women. However it might be fun to go back and fuck the ex one time and make sure Tim knows about it, before getting too serious with Tina.

ok? you just cannot find an ending to your story's, can you? i have read two of your attemp's at writing. i won't the other's. piss poor! ............

This story reminds me of the story 'Yesterday' by HDK (one of, if not, the best wtiters on Lit, IMHO!), where the husband insists that the 'cheater' remain in the illicit relationship that basically ripped apart their marriages. Both stories show that there is a certain amount of excitement that a long term relationship cannot compete with, as well as the hurt that is brought upon the wronged partner. Kevin, our HERO, knew that OF COURSE Tim would cheat on Rachel, and that she would have to suffer the same humiliation she heaped on Kevin for 'several months' (6, 8, 10 months, maybe a year?), before she could even think about talking with Kevin, And then, only if Kevin wasn't in a committed relationship. (Remember the same freinds who spoke to Kevin of Rachels thoughts, would certainly talk to Rachel about Kevins (love) life.) I would love to see both of these stories ended, for no other reason than to see how the 'thinking process' of the women involved, finally got around their seemingly unsurmountable obstacles that their selfishness brought upon themselves, and the inner reflections they went through. Good story, and keep writing.

p.s. Forget the puta, puta, puta comment. She probably just got her 'la palabra del calendario de dei' recently and she learned a new word. We all know that swearing is the sign of a weak mind, trying to sound forceful!! I eagerly await your next post!! Tom

I see this as a very useful tactic. Force her to get into a committed relationship with her "lover" for a period of time then breeak it off with him to go back to her exhusband she is supposed to love. While at the time her ex is getting into a relationship with another woman. Can you read the ending. She finally breaks up with Tim her "lover" to go back to her husband thereby breaking all ties with Tim. To then have her ex rebuke her and turn her away as he has a new love. Basically leaving her without a committed relationship in a worse state than he was when he divorced her. This is not only revenge it is slow torture. Wonderful!

A totally self cenered egotistical woman whose only concern is her excitement in life and a husband that idolizes his wife to the point of goddess and suddenly comes to the brilliant conclusion to force her to take her new lover then if she wants to come back to him. At that point she discovers he has a new girl and doesnt want her. The only problem with these scenes is the wife is so beautiful she can easily get any man she wants and is so self centered losing him really just means another step up the ladder. To simplistic and unreal to be a good story. A woman doesnt love a man when she does this. The real question was never asked or answered. What he should have asked her is why she hated him so much to do this to him and their marriage. It forces the woman to realize she doesnt love or respect her husband and just wanted to humiliate him and make him a cuckold. And no mention was made of the risk of diseases and other factors in the narative.

WOW!! Where did you come from??? (in a good way of course)

Smart, original, ironic, funny, serious, reflective – stop me before I feel the page only with adjectives!

Just one thought, but you may see me commenting again, and I am not going to apologize for it in this kind of a story…<P>

A great paradoxical way to create an impact similar to that of revenge without ever declaring it as such, is by offering a forced choice to the person who committed the offence. One choice is clearly undesirable to the offender (in our story: loosing any chance of ever getting back together with her ex). The second and the more interesting choice, is to continuously (or up to an agreed length of time etc.) re- commit the same sin he/she had initially committed voluntarily and with no consent, only this time it will be done involuntarily and in public or with public knowledge (and condemnation). Something like ordering a child to finish eating a large bowl of pudding – ad museum… <P>

So this smart guy orders this silly goose to live together with the cheating cock 24x7 for several months; see how she comes at the other end of the realization of her own fantasies…<P>

Which reminds of a very wise (Tibetan I believe) expression: There are two reasons for human misery: One is when we don’t have what we wish for; the other is when we do… Think!

Well written and it got the readers thinking and talking. Nice one.I'm not entirely sure thta I wouldn't strangle her friends but you can't help how some people pick their friends can you.

I liked it.It could sure use a sequel. Thanks!

I really enjoyed reading this story.

Kevin's measured response to Rachel's infidelity is sublime in it's subtlety and impact.

I appreciate the author's note explaining his ending. Without such a note, I would probably feel somewhat cheated. But his note mitigated that response and has allowed me to imagine my own completions to Kevin & Rachel's story.

I like it when the punishment fits the crime.

Boyd

It all starts with 60 hour weeks.After the name calling faux pas I'd say it's over.Pistolpackinpete.

why wouldn't Kevin seek any type of retribution upon Tim? Just let it ride? As far as Rachel - the ending was done nicely but most of us prefer Rachel gets to experience the "cheated upon" concept in the future many times over. All & all, we are with Harry VA on this one.

Bit different, and I like that. Certainly held my attention, and I'm quite happy that it ended there.

Ta very muchly

at least the writer tried a new angle, and the writing was sharp, the first half made me feel quite emotional...oh do you mind if I throw in a little vitriol? Obamanation, put down yer fucking crack pipe for two minutes you misogynistic prick. MANCELT.

Well written and powerful. Nice job.

I have read all the comments so far and find it difficult to agree with many. I did not find the language in any way unnatural, although a admit one word - "progress" - jarred. Is it cos I is English? Also, I failed to detect the 'humour' in the piece - it just read as the revealling on natural adult thought processes to me. I thought it was going well until near the end, when I got the distinct impression the author ran out of steam/interest.

PS. Sorry, Obamanation, but I didn't understand a f*@ king word of whatever you were expressing - but, then again, perhaps that's because I'm English.