All Comments on 'Radiance Ch. 03'

10 Stars

Please continue!

This chapter feels way rougher than the previous two. There are quite a lot of grammar errors, and the dialog feels VERY stiff. I mean, in that way it feels like the early fallout games, so good job there, but it isn't the most enjoyable reading experience.

Your going great so far love the story and especially the talking deathclaws keep going writer

I think you are lucky this is fan fiction otherwise readers wouldn’t tolerate the way every sentence is a paragraph and there are thoughts that run together trying to describe something in too much detail when a single word would have sufficed but you drag it on so that what you started to describe gets lost to your rambling writing and so since I like my reading to be enjoyable I am going to have to bail on this whatever it is.