Radiance Ch. 74

"Irony is that synths of my generation can have kids apparently, but it requires them to fill our ovaries with eggs which apparently mine are, but there's a trigger missing which would allow them to be released, hell they even went to the trouble of designing the eggs to have my genetic code written into them so that they could combine with synth or human alike, but then because I was designated as an Enforcer they decided it would be a waste of time and resources to trigger the program, it's maddening," she said bitterly and Fuller really didn't know how to feel about that.

Of course, he felt sorry for her because in his travels with her so far he'd become rather attached to the synthetic woman, she was strong, highly opinionated and strong-willed, she was funny and charismatic but also rather softly spoken when need be and to be fair he liked women with a bit of muscle to them so, in essence, she ticked all the right boxes for the masculine part of his brain.

But he wondered how he was supposed to feel about the idea of synths being able to reproduce at all, he knew he was supposed to be disgusted by it and shocked by it, but more shockingly to him was that a fairly sizeable part of him just wasn't, it was like it simply didn't matter given the state of the world as it is, there were already god only know how many new species running around out there, so what's one more and that thought scared him because as a soldier of the ESF he was supposed to be fully against it.

So Fuller decided to find out some more info about it, "So what would the deal be with synthetic children then? I mean would they grow like human kids?" he asked and Glory glanced up at him and read his curiosity as innocent in his expression before looking back down into her pot.

"Yeah, from what info I've heard come through the Railroad and Dr Amari when she's been working with the memories extracted from my brothers and sisters who went to her for new identities, it took them quite a while to perfect the system but these are supposed to be Gen 4, the final step, while the rest of us came off an assembly line or well you know a lot more complex than that but you get the idea these would be the new generation, the ones that would finally allow the synths to self populate, from what I've heard they went to great lengths to try and make it so only synth genetics would be compatible with other synths but apparently human DNA is little more robust than they imagined as little do they know there are already human synth hybrids out there I've seen them with my own eyes, little miracles who have the best of both worlds within them," she said with a soft but somewhat sad smile.

Fuller felt himself baulk but then he really began to think about it, it wasn't these innocent children's fault that they were what they were and at the end of the day did it really matter?

There would be enough human in them for them to believe that they are human, it would be no different from when the Neanderthals went extinct but they didn't fully die off as their DNA was still present in the species today which meant they'd taken the best of them and put it to use, hell who knows maybe this was the kick that humanity needed to actually evolve some more, whatever the outcome that was a problem for another time and for people a lot smarter than him to riddle out, he was a soldier and his job was to shoot who and what he was told to shoot, simple as that.

But as he looked up at Glory he could feel her sadness radiating off her and he decided that a little comfort went a long way and she was obviously in need of some, so he put down his now fully cleaned rifle and moved around to sit next to Glory on her bag and she glanced up at him in surprise as he put his arm around her broad shoulders.

"Chin up big girl you said it yourself, they gave you the ability and even the means, all you need is the trigger, so who knows maybe one of the synths that we pull out of there one day will have that or maybe this DR Amari you spoke of will be able to figure out what it is from one of the other girl synths that comes to us for help, there is always hope and possibility, your not out of the fight yet, so chin up and chest out soldier and have faith in yourself as well as the cause," he said giving her incredibly powerful shoulders a squeeze.

Glory smiled softly and nodded before turning and giving Fuller a full-on hug, "Thanks Owl I needed that, its right what they say you know, sometimes a kind word said in sincerity is worth its weight in gold, or well in this world caps," she said with a chuckle as she dried her eyes.

"You're most welcome big girl and for what it's worth from getting to know you a bit today I think you'd make a pretty good mom," he said and she looked at him in surprise.

"Really? You seriously think so?" she asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, you're strong-willed, determined, smart and you got a protective streak a mile wide, hell you gotta momma bear written all over your big black ass," he said and she roared with laughter and then shot him a sly grin.

"You been looking my arse much then Owl? Must be pretty close if you found words written on it," she said and he returned the laugh.

"If I'm honest I was looking for a bar code or an instruction manual but when I didn't find one well you know what they say about us special forces boys, we're nothing if not stubborn we're not known for giving up," he said and she roared with laughter before drying her eyes and nodding.

"You seriously are one of the good ones Owl, I can see why Mouse thinks so highly of you, ain't laughed this hard in a long time, most people in the Railroad just tiptoe around the whole synth thing like they are terrified of offending us if they so much as cough wrong around us, but you just don't care and that's fucking refreshing, to say the least, because if you cannot laugh at yourself then what can you laugh at because you sure don't have the right to laugh at others if that's the case," she said and he nodded in agreement.

"Soldiers are known for our blunt and kinda dark sense of humour call it a coping mechanism for all the shit we've seen but in this world that's basically every day for everybody you know?' he said and she nodded.

"Yeah, I hear that," she said stirring her stew before grabbing her bowl and then holding out her hand towards him indicating that he should hand her his, so he did and it was promptly handed back full and steaming.

"Thanks so about that manual, was I just looking in the wrong place or what?' he said making her laugh again.

"Don't know about a manual but if you push the right buttons I'm known to make some rather strange noises," she said making Fuller nearly spit out a mouthful of stew as he choked down the laugh.

The pair ate the rest of their meal in peace just making idle chat about the things they'd seen out there in the wastes and Glory began to teach him some of the Rail sign and codes that he'd seen some of while out with Mouse but the more of it she showed him the more he realised he'd actually seen this stuff in other places too, so to his mind this meant that the Railroad was operating in at least two other states of the US.

Then the more he thought about it the more that made sense as their whole thing was to ship the synths out of the institute's grasp, so to do that they would need to be out of state, so they must have cells elsewhere to receive the incoming caravans and synths so they could set them up with new lives elsewhere.

As he thought about this he picked up his and Glory's finished mess tins and washed them out at the door of the trailer before returning and while handing hers back to her he sat back down on her bedroll next to her again though why he'd done so he didn't quite realise, well not at first anyway.

"Hey Owl tell me something, do you ever just ache to feel human?" she asked glancing at him and he met her glance and he saw something in her eyes something that resembled hope but that he couldn't just put his finger on.

"I think I know what you mean and yeah I guess, sometimes the shit just gets to you and it makes you just numb to it all, it's like your mind is trying to push away and block out the world around you while at the same time the inner you is screaming to be free and to feel something, fucking anything just to remind you that you are alive and not a rock," he said and she went wide-eyed and nodded.

"Yeah! That's it exactly, for ages I didn't know what it meant I just felt numb by all the shit and all the time there was this little voice that was screaming in the back of my head begging e to feel something fucking anything to prove to myself that I wasn't just this fucking mindless automaton, I didn't know if it wanted me to prove to myself that I'm human but I'm not human and I understand that now and it doesn't matter because I am alive, I am a sentient, thinking, feeling living being and I am alive!" she said with such passion in her voice that it surprised him but he couldn't help but nod in agreement.

Then Glory turned and gave him a warm but also hopeful smile and that was exactly one second before she shot forwards grabbed him and jammed her mouth to his.

Fuller's brain just overloaded as the kiss hit him, Glory's mouth was warm, soft and her tongue was strong and excited as it invaded his mouth seeking his out to dance with it, when they broke Fuller felt like someone had just rammed a cotton ball into his skull where his brain used to be, "I want to feel alive tonight Owl and before you go panicking don't worry I'm not looking for commitment or anything serious, I just want to feel something other than numbness tonight and given you been pushing my buttons all day you've certainly earned the right to be the one to try, so what do you say Owl, wanna lose your synth virginity tonight and instead of being a synth and a human we can be just two sentient beings enjoying the simple and purest joy of being alive?" she said in a breathless voice peppering his face and neck with a whole bunch of sucking kisses as she did.

Fuller's mind was whirling a million miles a minute as he was still completely aware that his team were listening in through his sub-dermals and would hear every word of this, but at the same time he didn't fucking care anymore, his senses were lost in a burning swirl of passion that had begun to roar within him the second that her plump soft lips had met his, this had been just all so confusing, before all this his duties and his loyalties had been as clear as day but the more time he spent with these people and they were just that to him now, people, the waters were becoming muddier and muddier.

Then something inside Fuller broke and to his surprise, it was not a loud thing either, it was a very quiet thing, it was accepted as what was left of his brain that hadn't been turned into fluffy candyfloss said fuck it why not, at the end of the day it wasn't like she was asking him to marry her, she was just looking for a little fun and couldn't lie to himself and pretend he didn't find her attractive because he was a man of honour and he did not lie to his own heart, hell if he needed to he could call this an experiment in determining just how human these synths truly were if his superiors asked.

"You had me at the kiss," he said softly and Glory beamed at him broadly as he pushed back against her and with a little bit of strength he pushed her down onto her back and kissed her back now.

"That's what I hoped you'd say and hey if you do find a barcode on my ass you'd better let me know got it?" she said and Fuller grinned down at her.

"You kidding if I find a barcode anywhere down there I'm gonna check to see if I got a reader mounted in my tongue but you know how those things are they never read it first time, takes a few scans to work," he growled and he actually felt the shiver of want pass through her large body.

"You had me at tongue," she purred and with that, the pair smashed into another deep kiss, but little did Fuller know that this night his entire life was going to change, but only time would tell if it was for the better or not.