All Comments on 'Rainbow River'

Please tell me there is going to be a follow-on story.

More please

Nicely done! I love your stories. Cheers! Frankie

I really enjoyed this story. Thank you.

Lovely story. More, please. 5 Stars.

I’ll share it with my sweetheart.

Lovely. Very enjoyable and sweet. Thank you

Great story. Would have liked a bit more, maybe Kim saying sorry and becoming friends etc. I like a happy ending.

Excellent story - 5 *! I would like to know how things went with his sister and the rest of the family when they finally meet Rebecca.

excellent story waiting for chapter 2

Great story!

5

Shear means to cut. Sheer was what you wanted. Your <> you're. Nice story though!

Fun erotic read. 5stars

Great

this screams for a part 2

It would be nice to have a "showdown" with the sister. She should have met Rebecca after her stunt. Right now, she is the evil woman that tried to separate them. She needs a chance for either redemption or to continue digging her own hole.

Needs a sequel, we need to see how Rebecca and Bryan deal with his family.

I am a sucker for stoeies like this. Thanks!!!

I speed-skimmed it, because stories with authors that use short POV change sections instead of writing in third person frustrate the hell out of me. Clearly, this could have been a great story and still could be, if someone would edit it for you and teach you how to do this sort of thing properly. As is, it's a swing and a miss.

Sometimes you can guess the ending on page 1, but that’s not a bad thing because you have yet to appreciate how the tale will unwind. This was brilliant.

Please sir, some more?

I enjoyed it and mostly understand your choice to end it there, but I still felt a bit robbed at the end. I would have liked a bit more of their life. Did they have more kids together? Did they rebuild a good relationship with his sister? Did his ex-wife try anything to interfere in hopes of getting back on the gravy train? Even a synopsis in an epilogue would have been acceptable.

The MC ha a different point of view than I. I couldn't have put up with obnoxious little boy no matter how hot his mother was.

Some technical issues:

Paddling a tandem kayak from the front seat would have been challenging. They don’t steer well at all that way.

Rental kayak and canoe operations on water with current generally don’t rely on customers paddling back against the current. Instead, they have a pickup point downstream.

It’s unlikely that a seven year old would be allowed to be alone in a rental kayak. A more likely scenario is a tandem, with mom in the back, the seven year old in the front, and the four year old in the middle. I’m not sure that I would let them go out that way, without more kayakers in the group.

I have seen a lot of day trippers fall out of rented kayaks, and canoes. Getting back in is possible, but not simple.

The rental operation in this story would have a hard time getting, or retaining insurance.

Really well written narrative and I liked that even when you switched viewpoints you had minimal overlap and allied the story to progress. You clearly left us hanging, especially regarding the sister, so you need the clean it up with a second installment. 5*

A story with good bones. Going foreword try to 'flesh' out those bones. Avoid the overuse of adverbs such as, screamed, bellowed, shouted and yelled. We all know that young kids don't have an 'inside' voice but you've beaten us over the head with it.

You’ve written a sweet story here! I especially love your use of the detailed setting that places the action nicely. I also appreciate that your characters are fairly well developed, and they seem to be likable people. I think you’ve missed an opportunity to let his sister redeem herself, but it’s your story to write what you want. I echo another poster by preferring a third person POV, but at least you handled the breaks well, with little repetition that only leaves the reader scratching their head. Again, it’s your story!

Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your work.

As a divorced man, it's what we all dream about finding, the love of our life and a family that appreciates us.

More to the story please .

Enjoyable, I gave you 5 stars for this story. I would like to ask when are you going to write the next chapter? There is a lot of this story left to tell. Like making his sister eat some crow. How much is Bryan worth? And when will Rebecca give birth to Bryan's next three or four children? But all in all I want to thank you for writing this story.

Wonderful love story! I do hope we hear more from this budding young family? Top notch.

I've recently started reading erotic stories, I really enjoy them. This has got to be one of my favorites but I need more of this story what happens with the sister? What becomes of them? Great story but I need more

Touching tender story of loss and finding someone new to treasure.

Great story, but please please please put the four year old in a car seat next time! Worrying about safety knocked me right out of the narrative.

20 stars! Please write another chapter. Rebecca needs a husband to father her 4 kids (her 2, plus 2 more with the love of his life, his REAL WIFE...

Five stars!

...and to anonymous who had their panties in a twist over the lack of a fictional child car set in a fiction story - LIGHTEN UP, FRANCIS!!!

Good story, just the ending seemed a little rushed. Could have made more of Kim's interference.

Ok ,, what happened it just stopped,,, what happens with his sister and him ?? Where is the proposal, and the happy ever after

What happened with the family and sister. You got me really curious. Great story and KUDOS! +5

Great story, but I wish you had a wrapped up the dynamics with his sister and family. That obviously was a issue that could’ve created a great deal of a problems.

Good story but felt like it was missing an ending

I read most of your stories and you go on and on for 85% of the story with space fillers and in the last page you squeeze a whole lot of information. Try to have a page or two to finish your idea and give your characters space to show some emotions towards each other, not just jump in bed in the last minute, wham bam thank you mam

I truly liked this one. I expected the bump in the road to last a little longer, but I'm glad they got through it. The very end felt abrupt, like it wasn't really ready to end yet. But otherwise, it was fun and lovely. 5*

The brat needs to be pulled in firmly. At 7 he does not get to ride over his mother as he has!

That said, great story.

Very well done. QA beautiful romance.

Note the boy is not a brat, but a potential brat.

His response to a real man shows what he lacked, and his willingness to response peaks of a great future.

THC

Great story. Sweet romance.

I liked the story, but the way the boy was written it appeared he had no manners and showed all the signs of growing up like the man-child Father. As his Mother is a Teacher, who spends their life with other peoples children and has to deal with other people’s rude, badly brought up children, manners and behaviour would be paramount for her own offspring. Fwiw I’m married to a Teacher, hence the insight, it’s an old saw, but you are judged on your animals and children….

The boy’s behaviour aside, the story went well, although I’d have thought a well off family would have had at least a cursory investigation of the Ex prior to marriage and the Trustees of their funds would have insisted on a pre-nup, there’s also the issue of the missing end of the story, dealing with the sister etc. All in all, it’s a 3⭐️ from me, it needs a rewrite, fixing all the plot issues along the way, it’d be a 5 if that were all done. Regards, Ppfzz.