All Comments on 'Reader's Block Ch. 02 - Next Gen'

Exciting story!

5

Stylish writing.

Good one

Excellent. Thanks.

Great follow-up! Does John get to move on on chapter 3? Does he start playing piano in Seattle? ;) 4.7*

Rape and blackmail mean it doesn’t matter.

She. Was. Raped. Her actions as a result of that blackmail meant it continued to be rape. She couldn’t consent because that had been taken from her and you sit here, writing your story and blaming her because she “might” have flirted with Mario?

If she flirted, Mario wouldn’t have had to drug her. If she was willing, Mario wouldn’t have blackmailed her into having sex. Blaming her for what happened is despicable and you should be ashamed of yourself.

????????

It was a good, well-written story.

The writer got it quite clearly across to his reader just how amateurish MC John was, how sloppy he handled Mitch's situation. They (Devon and John) should have gotten the cops involved as it increasingly became risky for amateurs to handle. The element of surprise John had in the beginning over the antagonists quickly disappeared when he had too many meetings with Mitch. He was already exposed, so he should have gone to the cops.

Good job @cookingwithgas.

Thanks.

Utter crap. Go back to BTB.

Great story, but how did Gwen know who John was at the hospital? Did she have a habit of dropping "Help me!" Notes in front of strangers?

Quite brilliant. Bravo!

Clever writing. Well done.

Because it was all interstate

That means between state so fbi IS involved.

Intrastate is word you needed

Gwen got what she deserved

.

I've never understood the "you dont understand honey, I HAD to trat you like shit and keep having sex with my rapist. If I didnt he would have told you I was raped. Dont you see you knowing I was raped would have been far worse than me continuously cheating on you" story line

Damn Good!

Great story

The biggest sin in LW is overwriting, especially those who make a decent point in dialogue and then spend another hundred words on what their characters say and what it means. Your writing is an example of NOT doing that. The other biggest sin (starting to creep into Dante's space) is writers who write the same story over and over. They turn all Sally Fields on us and decide to write for the adulation. I know you're a published commercial writer, so we mere aspirants and aspiring sycophants need to study your work. Thanks for sharing your craft and insight with us.

-TJY

"Because it was all interstate, the feds weren't involved" - Actually, the feds ARE interested in interstate. It's INTRAstate where it's all within a state's borders.

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"We made our way to the second floor. ,,, There was no second floor there." - Huh?

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"so in a draw, he might come out the victor." - First, I'm no weapons expert, but I can't see how 5 feet is so much more accurate than 6 or 7 feet. Second, in a draw, yes, but Mario's gun is pointed down, and John's pointed at Mario. As soon as Mario starts raising his gun, shoot him.

Didn't do it for me. Too contrived and the pacing was wrong The characters were under developed I think I gave the first part four stars. This one gets three

JPB

That woman is such a stupid slut even she knows she doesn't deserve to live

How odd, I'd just read Reader's Block.

Brooksie- come on!! He clearly wrote the warehouse section was one large story - 2/3 of it. Like a pull barn. You’ve seen those right? One small section may have stairs leading to a second or even third floor, while most of it doesn’t.

I am a weapons expert, and the author might be one too. His statement is correct. As an instructor you explain to your student the odds of hitting your target based on feet from target. Your chance of hitting your target center mass are exponentially higher at 5’ and closer.

To the author, I agree with JPB. I got you were trying to write in a different style and it was well written but I’ve gotten so used to your works that this one left me dissatisfied.

From many of the comments, I must be a unicorn; I don't read looking for typo's, syntax errors and on and on - I read because I enjoy it. This was a story well told, and I can only hope for another installment (or 2!) Thanks for writing it.

I enjoyed it!

This writer is definitely cooking with gas!

A very enjoyable read. Thank you!

I am one of your readers who looks for stories I enjoy even with some writing mistakes. This is a very good story. 5 stars from Xluckylee

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your writing.

Always enjoy your stories. And in most cases you have to have faith and move on. Hope that she’s either learned a lesson or eventually has Karma served.

Good story, lots of emotion. Well written, thanks for sharing…….

5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️