All Comments on 'Really Shouldn't Have'

please learn english

To anon .please learn English. There's two r,s in rubbish lol

Fuck. Where to begin?

"you're... you're hard, why?", "is that because of me?"

Comma in between dialog? It should've been continuous.

"Yes" I replied, "you've always done this to me but I didn't want you to find out"

Lack of periods, indicating the stop of a sentence. Yeesh.

"Oh Kerry there's so much about you that's sexy".

A period outside of the quotations? No comma behind Kerry.

Why don't you stop while you're behind? Your writing really sucks. I couldn't even finish this one.

Your story depicted the emotions and intensity of a memorable point in there lives. I thought it was very readable and the flow was good. Don't let negative comments get you down. Keep writing.

Give writer a break was first story, and is from England and they don't speak the same English as in the US. So all Anonymous asses go back to your caves and comment on your own storys that don't exist

Hello, hope the dumb asses who use Anonymous to cut people down suck, they have idea how to write them self so they comment on how bad they think other people are. Just don't let them put you down, one thing I can say is before you summit a story, look it over and again. Hell with them ass holes and do what you like.

You thought of making this a multiple chapter story? I think it would be really good, if you would continue this story on from here! This is a good solid story!

I have much the same observations as one of the nicer preceding comments: Once you think your first draft is ready to submit, before you hit that send button; read carefully back over your whole story text, for plot problems, that cause readers confusion.

Such as: the guy was newly married late in life and has the hots for his wife's 29 year old daughter.

So, where was his wife and their other kids, when he and his step-daughter, the 29 year old, are having sex in the bedroom? A small detail left untold, that becomes a bigger question for readers, by story end, see? Not a real Biggie though. This is still a great story! :)

You could go any direction you want, with plots and sub-plots in this story, from where you have left-off!

So, would you consider writing a few more chapters to it? I really like what you've written so far! :)

this is shit

I wish I had a Kerry. Would really like to hear more about Kerry!

Your comment "commas within quotes" shows how little thought you put into your critique. If the quoted speech follows an independent clause yet could be part of the same sentence, as in

My mother's favorite quote was from Shakespeare: "This above all, to thine own self be true." Guess old Bill knew something about the English language that you seem to lack..

Ben252

Actually, in England we speak real English, as in the language of our home country, England. What you Americans speak is a debased slang dialect mixed with expressions and slang from any one of the hundreds of cultures that go to make up modern America; it's only vaguely related to the Queen's English, so please don't go calling your gutter-slang dialect 'English', because it isn't; it's 'American'.

Signed,

A real English-speaker, in England, where we actually speak real English

courtesy of step-dad? Explain that one, while living at Mom's, with no man in her life.. good one! Woops!